Just Like You - Three Days Grace
Rachel is officially dead. Gone. Nonexistent. Invisible. And for some rotten reason, I can't find the depression from her death. I'm not mused, I'm not bothered; it's concerning. She was one of my closer friends when I was going through the murders of my other friends. She's now been murdered by the murderer. Or so I think. But it has to be Michael. Why wouldn't it be? This is his way of welcoming himself back into Haddonfield. It happens every year.
It's once again put forth that citizens cannot go out tonight due to the murder. The city is preparing to officially catch Michael Myers, but I have no idea how they will do that. It's near impossible. If he can get away all of those other years then I'm sure he can get away with these years. I wonder how he does it. I suck at getting away. He becomes invisible or something.
I'm sitting on my windowsill, looking over the grass that lays many feet below me. I'm surrounded by nothing but trees, this hospital is located a bit off-grid from the city but it's not far at all. I could walk.
Since I think Michael is back, I want to escape. I have no idea how, though. There really is no way for me to do it. The security of this place is top-notch. There are armed guards all around the area, scoping every little thing. One of them sees me from my window even when I'm four floors above him. He leans back on a concrete fence, smoking a cigarette. His gun is cocked in his hands. It's not just a simple pistol, either. It's a whole goddamn AK rifle. I gulp, trying not to look too suspicious.
I'm peering back at my messy bed, my rocking chair that is slightly moving. The radio in the wall. I wonder how long these guards stay awake or how long their shifts are. Surely there are night guards, I have never checked before because I am always in bed.
I look back down at the now missing guard. His cigarette lies on the grass, stomped out. Maybe his shift is up. Or he's going to report me... but for what? For looking out the window? Is it because I'm sitting too close? Does he think I'm going to escape? Has he read my mind?
There aren't any other guards near him so I'm really confused as to what's going on. They must be switching shifts. I get off the windowsill and huddle myself in the bed, covers over my head.
For once in the longest time, my thoughts are piling on top of one another; what's that doing is causing me to become emotional. True, I need to cry so hard and for so long. I'm desperate for it. I just want my emotions back. I want to feel them.
There's a knock at my door that startles me. Turns out, it was just my nurse giving me some more medication. I go back to laying down, hiding myself away from the world. I think back to my high school years. The year my life changed, the Halloween party at Jason's. I always come back to thinking of it. Because it's the only time I was truly okay. Because it was the last time I could experience normal teenager things. Because it was the last time I could talk and see my friends. I try to think of how I was expressing and feeling my emotions back then but the only thing I'm bombarded with is images of Michael.
Images of him standing at the end of the hall, him breaking the window, and him putting everyone's bodies right before my own in Michelle's room. Michelle. Oh, I miss that name. It's weird to hear my mind say it again, or think it.
With Rachel dead, I try to make myself feel things. I try to make myself upset by thinking of it as discovering Bri's death again. How angry and mortified I was. I'm scrunching my face so hard, trying all my will to feel things. But there's nothing. I'm not sad. I want to be sad.
And then I'm suddenly thinking of how old me would think of the new me. What would young Marissa think of all of this? I have a weird relationship with Michael and I've killed lots of people. Never would I think of doing any of that back then. I kind of want that mindset back. Just a little. Honestly, I'll take anything back that's from me two years ago. When I was just eighteen. Now I don't age. How funny. I'm supposed to be twenty, but oh well. I don't feel it. I don't think it. Technically, I'll always be nineteen since that is the age I was turned.
I'm distracting myself from bigger things.
Yes, it's a habit of mine.
The security guard looking up at me is burned in the back of my brain. When he walked away, where did he go? What was he going to do? It still lingers in my mind that he knows I'm going to try to escape sooner or later. I must be under higher guard since it is Halloween. Since they know it is the anniversary of my crazy habits. And because of Michael Myers.
"You two were soulmates."
And it's horrifying to know that your soulmate is a mass murderer.
Across the landscape I see national security lining every street. No cops, it's the national guard now. And they are not here to play around. They want Michael dead. They want this horrible nightmare to end. But so do I. But I don't. Because if Michael dies then what do I have in life? Absolutely nothing. I don't see a purpose without him. I really don't. I am so attached to him in the most twisted way possible.
I'm biting my fingernails when it hits five in the evening. I should've escaped by now. I should've been out there trying to search for Michael! We should be running away together right now!
There's a small knock at my door. I don't bother to answer it, they open it themselves. A doctor and my nurse step inside. I've never seen this doctor before. He holds a clipboard at his side, his shortened blonde hair cut at his sides shined in the natural light from my window. He has a tight smile on his face.
"Marissa, this is Doctor Langdon. He will be your helper." My helper? After all this time, after almost a whole year of being here, I finally get a helper. "I will be learning more about you and also I'll be trying out this venom on you today," he says confidently. Venom? He holds a small glass container with a clear liquid in it. I scrunch my face up in confusion.
What will it do? Turn me back into a human? Oh, I'm sure. They think I'm possessed so... How will they make me un-possessed?
I'm taken into the hallway from outside of my room and onto an elevator, the doors seal shut loudly. A security guard holds my lower arm to stop me from running off. This would not be the moment I'd escape, anyway.
"This venom is supposed to get rid of the toxins in your brain. Your brain produces dopamine. You have too much of that. It's causing you to feel and think certain ways. Correct?" Doctor Langdon asks me.
I nod stiffly.
"Correct, so... This venom is going to lessen your dopamine! We'll need to inject it through the neck. It's a short process, I promise. We took you out of your room and we are going to send you into a testing room. It's for learning purposes," he explains.
I don't even get consent to this. Do I want a strange venom shot through my neck to "fix my dopamine"? Not really. But part of me wants to try it. So I can possibly turn back to my old self, also so I can laugh at them when it doesn't work.
The elevator doors open to a dark hallway. This seemed to be part of the basement of this mental institution. It was horrifying. Why couldn't there be light?
"Direct her to the last door. We'll get her situated in there," Doctor Langdon said.
There's a frightening, eerie echo in the hallway. Something is telling me where I'm about to go isn't good. I have to get out of here.
The guard forces me into the room. The door slams behind us. Doctor Langdon gestures me to sit at a wooden table with only one chair. I don't resist.
They set me down. I place my arms on the table, looking around. A yellow light hangs above my head, illuminating everyone. The four walls around us are plain white. It looks like a room for the mentally insane.
Doctor Langdon takes out a case, one that unclips open. He sets it down in front of me. It opens, the lid covering from me seeing anything. The syringe must be in there.
"Okay. Marissa, I am going to inject this serum into you. Please, do not bother resisting. I've got my guards here to help." He gestures towards two guards that appear next to my sides. They hold my arms down on the table and they hold my shoulders in place.
There's emotion coming to me. Anger.
They can't do this to me. I have to get away now!
Doctor Langdon holds the sparkly needle in his hand. The syringe is filled with a venom of the color purple. I watch it intensely. It lingers closer to me, Doctor Langdon eyeing me. He stops next to my left side.
"Lift her sleeve for me," he says.
One of the guards aggressively grabs the end of my left arms sleeve, rolling it up to my shoulder. My pale white skin shines in the light. Guess I need to see the sun more often if that's even possible.
"All right. Let's do this!" Langdon sounds so excited to put this venom in me. It won't work. Nothing here will work! This institution won't help me! I'm not insane, I've been turned into an immortal by a cult!
I watch the needle come closer to my skin. I see the hairs on my skin stand. My eyes catch every little detail on that needle. The exact point it's sharp tip ends. The particles that make up the needle. The gray colors. I smell danger.
Just before the needle can even touch my hair, I launch myself up. The two guards restraining me are thrown into the brick wall behind. I didn't realize how strong I really was. They both are inside the wall, the bricks collapsing on them. I grin.
Langdon's neck is wrapped in my hand. I lift him in the air, the syringe falling and shattering. His eyes widened at the sight of his creation being destroyed. He's gasping for so much air. He tries ripping my fingers off my neck, kicking me, but none of it works. I'm too strong.
There's a fire in my veins. I can feel the flames burning in my bloodstream. The room turns red in my eyes, I'm so powerful. There's so much frustration pulsating through my fingertips, it's exhilarating. There's so much adrenaline pumping through me.
My teeth are grinding together. The muscles in my face show deeply. I know I look like a monster. I don't care anymore. I just want my life back. I'm getting out of here today.
Langdon drops dead, purple, on the floor. The guards are still stunned. I pull my sleeve back down, brushing it out, then I make my way to the door. I kick it open. I go back into the hall to the elevator once more. I press the ground-level button. The doors shut. I have no idea what is about to happen but I'm ready for anything.
In the elevator, I hear alarms go off. They know. They know I killed Langdon. The guards must've informed them.
The elevator dings and I'm met with the waiting room. Patients are sitting there, looking at their phones, reading newspapers, signing papers, and noticing the alarm system going off. Some see me right away. They know me. Their faces go white, shocked.
"Marissa Peterson!" I hear as I pass by them. Nurses see me now. They rush after me but I only run faster towards the front doors. I see there are guards already there, armed. Fuck.
I stop in my tracks and turn around to the mortified and angry nurses. There's nothing I can do. I don't know if I can survive bullets.
As they reach me, I hear screams. People are running to the way I came from. I turn my head around. The two guards I saw earlier that camped the front doors were no longer alive. They were slouched over on the ground, blooding dripping from their necks. The man who killed them wore a navy blue coverall. This could only be one person.
Michael.
A huge smile breaks out on my face as the nurses pull me away. "Michael," I whisper. A bloody knife hangs in his palm.
The nurses dragging me are terrified. They pull hard on me. They're screaming at everyone around us. To run. These nurses are nothing on me, though. I jerk backwards once and they lose grip on me. They fall on their sides. That's when I make my run. I run to Michael, feeling a bit of freedom. But so much weight is being brought back on my shoulders. I can't explain it.
I meet Michael. "We have to go now. Now!" I panic. I pull him out of the building. There are so many dead guards laying on the front lawn. The building is surrounded by barbed wire fencing. The entry gates have been opened. Michael must've done all of this somehow. It's a bloodbath out here. I can see bullet holes on his jumper. He's perfectly fine.
"We have to leave Haddonfield."
We barely made it.
We took off through the opened gates and headed out of town. The hospital was close to the outer edges of the town. We used that to our own advantage. It feels nice to be free. No one knows where we went. Michael and I find ourselves standing alone in a forest.
"How'd you do it?" I ask him. I forgot. I wouldn't get a response. He's mute.
His breathing fills in the silence. Also nature.
I think escaping that place has made me come back to some sort of sense. I'm starting to feel the avenge of things. Feelings. Emotion.
There are tears in my eyes!
"Michael, we have to stop at some point," I sigh. We face each other, he looks down at me. "We have to stop the... Well, everything. You killed my friend. Why? No... Did she deserve it?"
He doesn't answer me.
"You killed Rachel! Why, Michael? Why?" I shove my hands into his chest, pushing him back. He has no trouble catching himself.
"I... I... I'm so tired. I need... to rest."
I need to think of all the stuff that I've done. That Michael's done. There are so many things in my life that are ruining me.
Michael grabs my wrist when I turn away. He brings me close to his body. He grabs my hand and placed my index finger on his chest. Over his heart, he crosses it out. I have no idea what he means. He keeps crossing out his heart with my finger.
"Does this have to do with Rachel?" He nods.
Crossing out the heart. No heart.
No love.
Rachel didn't... love me? Have a heart for me?
"Rachel didn't care?" He nods again. What?
I thought she did. That explains why she didn't visit me or try to talk to me since I'd been admitted to that hospital.
"Izzy?" I wonder.
No response.
"You don't know?"
He doesn't know.
I don't know how to feel. I just feel lied to. I don't think she deserved murder, though. I probably wouldn't care for me, either. I was a mentally insane friend of hers. I... didn't do good things. Michael has to realize that.
"Michael, you shouldn't have killed her." I lose his grip and walk off further into the trees.
I'm angry. Sad. All of the above. Suddenly I'm feeling things and I am not sure if I like it. Murder isn't the only thing on my mind anymore. While it is pleasing, it's devastating. Sadness is what I wanted, right. So I got it. And here I am not liking it. I need to grieve.
I sit myself down at the trunk of a tree. My bright orange coveralls don't conceal me at all. I'm a highlighter. I'll probably be caught soon.
I need to start from the very beginning. The very point in my life where things started falling downhill.
Of course, Michelle, Jason, and Bri dying. I've grieved them. I've said my goodbyes. I've moved on.
Second, falling for Michael. What is wrong with me? Why am I in love with Michael? I know we are soulmates but soulmates can be platonic and even then I don't want to be platonic with Michael anymore. I'm finally realizing everything.
Michael is the root to all of my problems.
Third, taking those bullets for him. That's what turned me. He wanted me to be kept alive. That's not what I wanted, though. Not really.
Fourth, Thorn. I was introduced to Thorn because I took those bullets.
But it's not just that. My whole existence was destined to be put forth to Michael. Soulmates. It's meant to be. If I weren't Marissa Peterson I wouldn't be here right now dealing with this. Maybe I should've killed myself when I thought Michael was dead.
That's it.
Michael being dead.
That's what needs to happen. And I need to kill him.
He stands beside me, looking down at me. The blood on his knife smells rotten.
I've got to put on a facade.
"What should we do?" I need to cut his wrist tattoo. Somehow.
He makes a cutting motion to his neck.
"Not right now, Michael. You do realize national guard is on your ass?" I sound stern.
In my head, I plan on leading Michael to the open town. I'll have the national guard see him, I'll slash his wrist, they'll shoot him, and he'll die. I'm sure I'll die, too. I'll probably slash my wrist. I want to die.
Michael doesn't know anything.
Our time must end.
At night I'll tell him I want to sneak back into town. I'll force him to show himself. Then that's the bitter end. I can't believe I went through all of this just to want him to end up dead. I think old Marissa is coming back to my senses. I like it.
I stare at the tattoo engraved on my wrist. Soon it'll be bleeding. Soon I'll die. But I'm okay with that. I've accepted death. It sounds so peaceful.
I write something to my younger self in my mind.
Mari,
Things are fucked. Really fucked. But I'll take care of everything for you. The justice you wanted for your friends? Yeah, it's happening. It's going to happen. I can't wait to give it to your friends. To those innocent people Michael Myers murdered. Everyone he affected. I crave his death. Forget who he is, remember what he's done. He's my soulmate, but he murdered humans. He murdered me. I murdered me for him. Do you understand what your life has come to, Marissa? It's a literal hellhole. You can't recover from this. You'll spend your life in jail if caught. Do you want jail or death? You'll choose death. I know it. I hope you do.
My eyes glare at Michael.
You're dead.