"Oh my gosh, what are you guys wearing." Jessica laughed with her two devil spawn twins. I rolled my eyes not even caring for her petty comments. But from the corner of my eye, I saw mamma pout. I remember mamma used to be so strong but after constant cruel comments from the public and Jessica. All confidence mamma had just vanished. "at least my mamma can wear a personality and rock it unlike you who can only wear a fake smile and a cheap face." I was surprised to not get scolded by mamma. For once she was letting me stick up for her. The twins and Jessica gasped in offence and the twins ran off too probably cry to uncle Luke.
"Breanna how dare you let your daughter speak to my beautiful daughters like this!? Like honestly what sort of mother are you?"
"a better mother than you." I took my mother's hand and led her to the dining room. "sweetie why would you do that? I know why you did it and I am thankful honey. But now all this will just cause drama." I kissed her cheek and gave her a reassuring smile. "Mamma it is fine trust me. they need to learn their place and you need to learn how to stick up for yourself.."
I sat next to the same usual place next to uncle Lucas and uncle Enzo.
"Well if it isn't for my favourite niece," Lucas whispered earning a large grin from me. today like every Sunday we had our annual family dinner but this time with my great grandfather. My whole family was here but like usual it was just as unbearable as the last dinner. "so anything new this week peanut?" the same conversations has already restarted. "nope just the same boring days at school." Lucas bumped my shoulder playfully glaring at me. "you know one day kid I will be able to get some information out of you." I rolled my eyes smiling.
"where did you get those bruises on your shoulder." I looked down wide-eyed not realising how my sweater slid down. Dad, my brothers and grandfather sadly caught on looking at my large ugly bruise with surprise and anger. "oh, that is nothing I banged into a doorway when I was not looking." I shrugged smiling goofily as told my foolproof lie.
"clumsy as always," Rebecca smirked in irony. Now the whole table has silenced so they can listen to our uninteresting conversation. I paid no attention to her petty attempt to put me down and acted oblivious to it. but of course, Jessica being the nuisance she was she wanted me to squirm under the spotlight of the table. Which hardly ever happens. "so, Angelina have you and your mother sorted out what you will be wearing for the arranged ball. Because if you dress the way you do now, no man will possibly ever look at you at the ball or in your lifetime." My brothers and father glared at Jessica for her insult.
"Actually, Jessica no we have not organised a dress to wear because I or my family have no admiration or wishes to sell my life to stand aside a useless man. I have ambitions and enough independence to not need to sell my dignity and life away." My words were blunt and I spoke with confidence as I cut the food on my plate. The girls brushed my comment away and ignored me. while my other family looked proud?
During the rest of the night, ben gave me worried looks. I could tell he was anxious because if I said one thing about what I saw about the drugs. I can dare say that the family will probably send him to a rehab centre and do drastic measures. On the way out I gave him a tight comforting hug. "don't worry Ben I will always have your back." I whispered as quietly as possible so only he could hear. He relaxed into my arms and gave me a comforting squeeze in return.
On the way back home I and my brothers drove around a bit talking before we went home. "so that was an evening." Diego joked. My brothers hate the dinners as well. Probably not as much as me because at least they can actually do and talk about things. "yeah are you ok sis? You didn't let aunty Jessica get to you?" my brothers always want to protect me. "yeah I am fine her words are meaningless to me" Juan smiled from his phone. "what about we get some ice-cream and then go home?" we all cheered as we pulled into the Mc Donald's drive thru. The ice cream was sweet and creamy and just as good as always. Going home was even sweeter because now I can go and greet my bed.
"Shoot him."
The girl cried pointing the gun to the innocent man. The man begged and cried screaming he had a wife and three daughters. "I-I can't."
the girl choked on her tears as tony stepped closer to her and gripped her neck harshly. "do I need to give you another reminder of who you belong too." Shaking her head vigorously. She couldn't take another ounce of pain on her burn. They branded her with a metal bar to label her as theirs. Now she will always be reminded of who she belongs too. It will now just be another thing to hide away from her family.
She was about to say no before she heard more cries and pleads.
Maybe if she said no the man would be set free. Despite the painful punishment she at least would be saving a life. "maybe I should tell you that right now your brothers are at their cousin's house playing happily on the couch enjoying life. Wouldn't want something to happen them or your cousin would you?"
she widened her eyes and shook her head regaining her grip on the gun. "n-no." clearing her throat. "I will do it." breathing in silently she pointed the gun to the man. Closing her eyes for a split second as the man begged one last time.
BANG.
No scream or sounds of agony was made but only the sound of a body collapsing on the floor. Tony grinned and placed his hand on her shoulder proudly. "have to say for your first shot you shot perfectly on the head." Tony joked but it was only tainting her heart further. She tried to not look at the blood pouring body. But it was as if her eyes were sewed and stuck in that one position.
"But let's not jinx it shall we?" Tony held her body close as she was already trying to run away. The door was swung open making her body shake more and more into a more dangerous panic attack. The boy was just her age and just as afraid as her. Were they really going to make her kill him? Was the world really this cruel?
"meet Jace dear Angelina your new partner in crime."
I gasped in my bed regaining my breath. You would think after all the people I would forget about the first. But the first is always the worse... he made me kill an innocent man who he just pulled off the streets. He was innocent and never did wrong in his life. He was my father's age and had a life as well as a family. But yet I destroyed that and now I will forever be haunted by that.
I got up from bed wide awake. It was only 3 am but there was no way I would get asleep after that memory. I walked downstairs settling in the kitchen while heating some vanilla milk over the stove.
Would this nightmare ever end? I found all the familiar dark thoughts coming to my mind. I hate being so helpless. I know I have no hope or any future. They made sure of it and now the only way out of is if I sign my life to be a wife to the boss. Or to just simply kill myself. Most days option two just seems easier and easier to do.
"Hola mi princesa." (hello, my princess) I smiled at Papa who walked in still half asleep. "hi papa". He sat down in the stool and looked at me while I stirred my pot of milk. "what are you doing awake?" I sighed and stiffed a smile. "I couldn't sleep... did you want some." He nodded briefly and I poured two glasses ignoring his blank look.
I relaxed into the seat slowly sipping the warm milk. "was there any reason you can't sleep?" I slumped my shoulders not feeling in the mood to get interrogated. "No papa I am ok." I said sternly trying to sound as convincing as possible. "you know it is ok not to be ok, princess?" Sometimes I forget that my family never truly see me anymore. But crying and showing emotions is something I now never do. Even as a child I hardly ever cried even with my illness Years of training made me a master of bluffing, tricking and lying. Those were poor traits to have though in my world they were practically made of gold.
"I know papa, I swear though that am happy." He kissed my head and held my hand letting his thumb caress my hand. "I am sorry honey that we don't spend much time together anymore. But I promise soon that I will try to make things better." I shook my head leaning closer.
"Papa don't be sorry I am busy with my own life too. It's just a part of getting older I guess but I promise that I will try as well." He kissed my head one last time before getting up.
"buenas noches mi princesa." (goodnight my prinsess.) he smiled. "intenta dormir algo." (try to get some sleep.) he ordered sternly raising his eyebrows. "tu tambien papa." (you too papa.) I sang as he walked out.
I wish I could sleep and have peace, but darkness is something that engulfs and overbears my soul.
and huants me day and night...