There comes a time in every woman's life , in this case, every dark-skinned woman's life when she must reinvent herself and get all the conditioning of the society that made her feel inferior out of her.
That time, ladies, is now.
I took up my debit card with all the savings I had from working at a fast food restaurant and a cafe last summer.
Tip one : Work to save and save to invest in yourself !
I also snatched up one of my Dad's credit cards.
I was going to completely redesign my life because I lived in a world where I was supposed to just believe that I wasn't good enough, simply because I was a dark-skinned woman.
This is our world and we should define ourselves.
I looked through my closet and saw torn clothing , ripped jeans, washed out t-shirts, dresses and tie-dye crop tops. I searched deeper until I saw some boots with the bottoms falling out and a red Parisian style baret.
I took the baret into my hand and I just knew that Paris was calling me.
I wished it was. I wanted to go to Paris and find myself because New York didn't know who I was and the colorist narratives were draining and detrimental to my self-esteem.
I was determined to find where I was most appreciated even if it meant searching the world for a place where my skin color didn't have a negative effect on my life or any effect at all.
I started designing a vision board. Luxury cars, chandeliers , French food , self love , and real friends.
I was worth it and I wanted to attract everything good and glamorous to myself, that way I'd know that I wasn't the "plain dark-skinned girl" anymore.
I was already beautiful with a bare face, I sat in the tub for a bubble bath , just staring at myself in the mirror that was infront of me.
How could I NOT be good enough with such big brown eyes and beautiful skin. I shut my eyes, just allowing my thoughts to flow
I placed a round piece of cucumber over each of my eyelids.
I stayed there still, thinking that this was just the beginning of my transformation.
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I stepped into Forever 21 , and ironically I was looking for a more mature look. I grabbed a black leather skirt and white knee high boots and a white crop top to go with it. I bought two neutral scarves, one black and one white and took up gold earrings and two dainty necklaces to go with it.
I walked around the store looking for something that sparkled, dazzled and blinged, maybe it wouldn't blind Colorists when they looked at me but it would let them know that I wasn't the "plain dark-skinned girl".
I walked up the stairs to the upper level of the store and that's when I saw it- a crystal studded dress that screamed, beautiful and feminine.
I walked around the mannequin that was wearing the dress, it had a feathery fluff on the shoulders and no sleeves. It was light purple with white feather like fluff that was so EXTRA but stunning at the same time.
I felt like I was in a dream.
"Do you like it ?" I heard a voice from behind and I turned around to see a brunette staring at me. She was a Forever 21 employee.
"Yes I do.It's beautiful. Do you have it in a medium?"
"Yes we do. I'll go get one."
She walked away for a minute and was back with my lovely dress hanging from a clothing rack.
"Thank you so much." I said as I beamed with delight and took the dress, rushing quickly to the fitting room.
I rushed by the workers,who controlled the fitting room and went straight into an empty room, drawing the curtain behind me.
I took off my shirt and then my pants. I put the dress on and it fit like a glove. So very beautiful.
I stared at myself, glad that I was looking my best and trying to attract the better life that I deserved.
I blew a kiss to my reflection, tearing up, so proud of myself.
When I finally got the dress off and put back on my drab old clothes I still felt new. I felt like an unstoppable woman who was on her way to greatness.
Someone had told me about a small , black owned clothing brand the other day called BRINAZ. I decided to check them out on brinaz.com and bought their white Swan Princess dress.
It is truely glamorous and I only paid a couple dollars for it.
I had planned ahead that I would be one of the best dressed women in every room I walked in, if not the best dress in the entire room. I wanted that power to change the narrative and unlock a new lifestyle for myself.
I had stopped at a few more stores where I bought trench coats and boots and tweed jackets. I had faux fur purses, pearl necklaces and then I stopped by the nearest Chinese restaurant to eat.
The food was delicious and I could feel myself glowing already.
The next thing I wanted to buy were self-care and natural hair products ,perfume, underwear ,a camera, a photo album, journal and a plane ticket to Paris, France.
After stacking up on all the things that I needed and buying my plane ticket, I booked an appointment to do my nails then headed straight home, where I would try to go to sleep and dream myself out of the same house with my stepmother and her annoying child.
________________________________________________AUTHOR'S NOTE_______________
Hey Guys! I have been working on the next chapters and I am sorry if I update this book late , but I am trying to get it to be as beautiful as possible so my chocolate girls can imagine themselves in the story and non- chocolate girls can visualize it all. A beautiful Black Princess, PERFECTLY PLACED in Paris.🛫
💜 - DarkSkinWife