I grip Brian's jacket tighter as his bike tears into traffic. Everything around me is new - the bright, almost blinding lights, and the buildings so high they seem to reach the sky. Brian has been here many times, but it's the first time for me. I cannot help marveling at the cityscape in front of my eyes, regretting not having been here before. My inexperience has never been more blatant.
Another bike reaches us. The woman riding on the back of it gives me a thumbs up, and I smile at Brian's mom before redirecting my attention to the arena ahead of us. Brian slows down and takes a right turn. In a short while, the bike stops at the parking lot, and I hop off it and stretch, infusing some life into my muscles that feel stiff after the two-hour ride.
People are littered out by the entrance to the arena. Some are milling around, and I know it's because they are either trying to resell their tickets or want to find someone willing to sell a ticket to them.
Many fans, Brian's parents and us included, are wearing T-shirts with the band's name, Rebellious Hearts, plastered on the front. The magnitude of Brian's brother's fame never felt so real to me as it does now.
"Let's wish Jim good luck before the show," Brian tells me as he laces his fingers with mine and leads me toward the emergency exit of the arena. After telling the security guy who we are, the four of us make our way into the venue. We have our all-access passes, and nobody stops us as we walk to the area where the artists are. Brian knocks on one of the doors, and it opens wide.
Jim is on the other side of the dressing room. He grins from ear to ear as soon as he spots us and steps aside to let us in.
"Thank fuck you're not naked," Brian says, hugging his brother.
Jim laughs. "I was, little fucker, but now it's all done, even my makeup."
"We're not going to take up lots of your time," says Aria. She takes a step forward and hugs her son tightly, kissing his cheek. "Good luck, Jimmy. To all of you," she adds, looking at the three guys that have just walked in through the door.
"Thank you," one of the musicians says. "Jim, the opener is about to start. Are you ready?"
Jim huffs and smoothes his hand over his styled hair. "Almost. Enjoy the concert. I'm happy you're here," he says to us and hugs his parents, Brian and me.
"Good luck, bro." I hear Brian say as we exit the dressing room. The sound of the guys' laughter echoes in the hallway, and Brian's parents smile, looking at each other.
"Who would've thought, right?" Brian's dad tells his wife. "We used to be a pair of kids going to see our favorite bands, and now, our child is a star."
I look at Brian, who smiles and shrugs. "None of us quite believes it."
I peck his cheek, and we saunter to the concert area. We are going to be in the floor section, and as we make our way there, we have to push our way through the crowd of noisy, enthusiastic fans.
The opening act starts in no time. The band is good, and I find myself enjoying the show, dancing and trying to sing as soon as I've memorized a part of the chorus. Brian kisses me from time to time, grinning when I hug him to me and make him sway to the music.
Lost in each other, we almost miss the moment when the band leaves the stage. The commotion that follows makes Brian and me focus on what's going on. Fans start to scream their throats off, clamoring for Jim, and the noise becomes ear-splitting when a spotlight illuminates the center of the stage where the equipment is set, only to go off in a second.
"The fucker always does it." Brian laughs and says, "Look, Kitten."
I do. Nothing happens at first, but then, the sound of a guitar cuts through the cacophony of the loud voices around us, and the crowd goes wild because not one - four spotlights are directed at Jim and his band, who are facing the fans. A guy is behind the drums, and the rest of the band members have guitars in their hands.
Jim's loud Good evening spurs on another round of whistles, cheers, and cries. This time, we scream too, and so do Brian's parents somewhere near us. Jim winks at the crowd - or at us -and the first song plays.
I know the lyrics by heart, and so does Brian. At times, the fans oversing Jim, and other times, he stops singing on purpose, and the crowd finishes the song for him. The atmosphere in the arena is like nothing I have ever experienced. It's a mix of excitement, anticipation, and wild, untamed energy.
The band interacts with the fans, and the musicians play for two hours straight, alternating the fast songs with the slow ones. The latter are my favorite because then, Brian's arms are around me, and he kisses me, embracing me tightly and looking into my eyes, making my insides buzz with love and need.
It's time for the last song. Jim announces that it's new, and we watch him come up to the edge of the stage, holding his guitar. He kisses his fingers and raises his hand as if he wants to send a kiss to someone above him. Then, Jim looks skyward, and for once, the fans are silent while he sings.
The lyrics are beautiful and heartfelt, and Jim's cheeks are wet by the time he sings the last lines. Whatever inspired the song must be close to his heart. I glance at Brian as we applaud and see him frown slightly.
"Did you like the concert, Kitten?" Brian asks me when we make our way outside. I nod and let him drape an arm across my shoulders.
"Have fun, kids," Brian's dad says. He hugs us both, and so does Brian's mom before getting on her husband's bike. They ride away, and Brian winks at me. "They have a date night," he says. "Jim is at the party with his bandmates. We'll stay at his place. I have a room there, as you know."
"Is it okay?" I ask.
Brian chuckles. "Of course. Jim told me to stay at his condo. He will spend the night at Nick's. Nick is one of the guitarists, the guy we'd seen in the dressing room, the one with weird eyes."
"They aren't weird," I say and giggle when Brian slants an eyebrow.
"Okay, baby. They aren't weird, but anyway, we will be alone because Jim is going to party all night, and he gave his chauffer a night off."
"I like the idea." My words are quiet, but Brian hears them well enough to haul me closer and kiss me senseless before we ride to his brother's.
Jim's condo is by far the most beautiful apartment I've seen. The floor-to-ceiling windows take up the entire wall of the living room-slash-kitchen. I tell Brian not to turn on the lights because the view from the windows takes my breath away, and I don't want to miss a thing.
Giant skyscrapers rise from the ground. It's late at night, but the city looks alive. I observe the lit up buildings and the busy traffic, marveling at how tiny the cars look.
"Would you like a drink?" Brian asks from behind me and kisses my neck, curling one of his arms around my waist.
"Sure," I say.
He pecks my cheek and walks up to the fridge to grab two bottles of soda. When Brian is back, we settle on the couch. I drape my legs over Brian's lap and take a sip of my drink, looking at him.
"The concert was amazing," I say. "And your brother is super talented."
"He is." Brian nods. "Jim has been working so damn hard to be where he is. He's an example of persistence and resilience. Despite being rejected time and time again, he pushed through and worked even harder. He deserves every bit of the love fans showered him with tonight. Hard work pays off, Kitten. It takes time and effort, but it's worth trying."
"Look at my boyfriend being all wise and grownup," I tease, moving to straddle Brian's lap.
Brian laughs and takes a swig from the bottle. Then, his warm, slightly calloused hand is on my hip. "Look at my girlfriend being all sassy and beautiful. I'm in love with your claws, baby, even when you show them to me."
I trace the outline of his jaw with my fingertips and study the peaceful expression on his face.
I know him. Behind Brian's wit and sarcasm, there's a little boy who is trying to figure out his place in the world. He is invisible to others, but not me. Never to me.
Brian rests his bottle on the coffee table, and I do the same. His eyes probe into mine, and he kisses me once. The touch of his lips is soft and tender. Brian pulls me to him, and our bodies touch, chest to chest. He puts his hands on my back and moves them up and down as we kiss again.
This time, it's different. This time, it's fire.
My lips glide over his. Our mouths are slightly open, and each time the tip of Brian's tongue touches mine, I feel it all the way down to my core. I kiss him deeper, and he reciprocates, circling my tongue with his and nipping at my lips between each wet stroke. I don't open my eyes and let myself dive into the ocean of sensations Brian makes me feel. My hands are bold as they slide under his shirt and feel the warm, smooth skin. I splay my fingers over his stomach and feel his muscles tense.
"Baby," Brian whispers against my mouth.
"I want you. All of you," I say. There are no nerves and no hesitation. I am as sure of it as I am sure of my name. I am willing to give Brian a treasured part of me because I've always wanted to do it with someone I love, and god do I love him. Even if he doesn't say the words to me, I know he cares about me too. Brian gives me affection and cares about how I feel, and that is enough. He is enough.
"It's not something you can undo," Brian says, putting his hand on my flushed cheek. "There is no rush, and I told you I am perfectly okay with waiting."
"And I love that you told me that, but my girl wants to meet your boy, and I'd rather you felt my claws on your back."
Brian laughs in earnest and gets up from the couch too fast, holding me to him as I circle his hips with my legs and curl my arms around his neck as he makes his way to what I know is his bedroom. I know he keeps his clothes in it and sleeps there whenever he visits Jim, and I know that we have the whole night ahead of us.
Brian sets me down at the foot of the bed.
"Baby, I'm asking this again. Are you-"
I kiss him hard, sliding my fingers into his hair. My tongue plays with Brian's, and his hands are on me - on my waist, hips, and backside, gliding over my skin and stroking it through my clothes. My caresses mirror Brian's. I might not be experienced, but I know his body, and the sense of triumph fills me when I see Brian's face clench with need as soon as I take off his shirt and caress his torso.
He grabs me by the waist and yanks my shirt over my head, letting out a frustrated groan when he has to stop kissing me to help me get rid of the rest of my clothes. Brian kneels in front of me and looks up at my face as he unbuttons and unzips my jeans before sliding them off my hips deliberately slowly. The jeans are gone, and I am in my underwear, feeling hot under Brian's blazing, shameless stare.
His eyes don't stray from mine when he kisses my hip, biting the skin softly. Brian's mouth commits my modest curves to memory, and I whimper when he kisses me through my underwear.
A smirk appears on Brian's lips. He tugs my panties down and bares me to him. My stomach clenches in nervousness because I know what he wants.
"Your leg on my shoulder, Princess," Brian whispers. His voice sounds rougher and huskier, and I am under his spell when I obey, gripping Brian's hair because I need to hold on to something. His lips are on my core, and as his tongue plays with me, licking slowly and then moving faster, I am a needy, desperate mess, moving my hips against Brian's mouth and tugging at his dark strands. He presses me to him even more, placing his palms on my backside, not letting me move away as his caresses speed up, and my body shakes.
"God." I pant, looking down at Brian's head. He kisses his way up my body and puts his lips on my neck as he walks me to the huge bed in the middle of the room. Brian pulls the comforter off it and lays me down on white sheets. His touch is gentle when he removes my bra. I undress him, too, touching every inch of him while he watches me intently.
"Come here," he says, covering my naked body with his. A question is swirling in his hazel eyes, and I nod, putting my hand on Brian's cheek. Brian kisses my lips and moves his face an inch away from mine. "It means the world to me, baby," he says, peering into my eyes. "You mean the world to me. And I hate that to love you I will have to hurt you."
"I want you. It shouldn't be bad."
Brian smiles, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "If it is, I will kiss it better until you only remember how good it feels to have me inside you."
His lips return to my neck, and he licks and kisses every inch of it. I barely register him grabbing a condom from the nightstand drawer and putting it on himself, but I feel his length against me when he is ready. I know I am, too, and I feel even better when Brian's wet lips wrap around my nipple and suck gently.
"Now, baby," he whispers when I moan. Brian's finger slips inside me, and he caresses and kisses me at the same time only to move his hand away and press the tip of his erection to my entrance.
"Come on, boy, you can do it," I whisper, patting Brian's back. He laughs and kisses me hard first and slower later. It's in the middle of a tender kiss when a sting makes my eyes water.
"God, baby, it hurts, doesn't it?" Brian asks and kisses my face, looking concerned, and almost scared.
"Just move. Please," I say, and Brian nods before edging forward until he is fully inside me.
I love the feeling. The slight burn is still there, but his skin on mine feels incredible. Brian sinks his teeth into his bottom lip and moves slowly, too slowly. I hook my leg around his hips and rake my nails down his broad back, feeling powerful and loved when Brian whispers, "You feel incredible, baby. I'm hanging on a thread."
"I love feeling all of you," I say as I slide my fingers into Brian's hair and kiss his mouth.
"Is it okay?" he asks, picking up the pace.
"Yes."
Brian's length is hot and pulsing. He pulls out and slides back in, and soon, there is no discomfort. There's our ragged breathing, and the sheen of sweat covering our bodies, and the sound of our moans, but no pain.
We kiss, and it is wet and frenzied. Brian devours my mouth and moves quicker. His fingers find my clit, and he rubs it while his mouth slides down to my breast.
My body trembles and every sense of mine becomes attuned to his kisses and caresses. I moan as he pumps inside me at a faster speed.
"Brian," I moan, feeling the pleasure seize control of my senses.
"That's my girl," he rasps out with his face buried in my neck. Brian's soft groan and the tremors coursing through him tell me he is there, going over the cliff buried inside me, feeling me while I feel him.
Brian wraps his arms around me and kisses my lips as he looks into my eyes. His brown ones are glistening, and I snuggle into him, wincing as he slides out of me. He notices and frowns, caressing my cheek. "How bad is it?"
"It's not bad, baby. It's amazing. Was it good for you?"
Chuckling, Brian presses his lips to my forehead. "It is what the first time should feel like, baby. I don't know what the hell I've been doing all this time, but until this night, I'd never made love."
So much love.
Tell me how it was!