“What's wrong?” Michelle asked me. “You seem... down. I mean, you're not eating your french fries.”
There was a collective exaggerated gasps all around the table. It was a Monday and I was in school or more specifically, in the cafeteria for lunch. I sighed and flicked a piece of french fries at Michelle. Naturally, my aim was way off but before it hit the floor, her hand shot out and caught it and stuffed it in her mouth.
“5-second rule,” she said, her eyes twinkling.
Michelle was pretty frugal, to the point you could call her cheap. But really, I couldn't blame her. Because one, her grandparents grew up in the Korean war and since her parents divorced, she lived with them and her dad. Her dad was always really busy with work though so ever since she was 5, she was raised by her grandparents. And because 2, I was kinda cheap though, just for not the same reason. I mean yeah, I was Korean and all but I just thought it was a big waste of money or whatever.
“Seriously though,” another friend of mine named Courtney said. “You always eat your fries, even if you're stressing out.”
“I just had a big breakfast,” I lied.
The truth was that I not eaten anything since Friday except even then, I don't remember eating dinner. I had absolutely no appetite. Hearing bad news like that will do that to you. My excuse seemed to be plausible enough since everyone went back to whatever they were doing. Except for one: Mark. He was studying me carefully. He was my childhood friend and we use to be neighbors until he moved to the other side of town. Still, he knew me well enough to know when I was lying.
In a feeble attempt to distract him, I asked him, “You want it?”
“Huh?” he asked, snapping out of his trance.
“My lunch. You were looking at me for like the past five minutes.”
One of Mark's friends, Edwin I think, piped up. “Well that's because he lo-” Mark stopped him by punching him in the arm.
“OI! Stop being such a girl,” he said with an air of teasingness. I thought I sensed a bit of anger too. That was the way with our bond, he could see through me and I could see through him
“Hey,” I said. “He's not a girl.”
“Why thank you Kayde-” he started to say but scowled after my next few words.
“I mean, if he was one, he'd be a disgrace to our gender.” All the guys within a 5 feet radius glared at me at me when I finished. “He's better off with you males. I mean, us females have a higher standard.” All the girls that heard this nodded and clapped when I was done.
“And that,” Mark said, “is why there will never be a female president.”
I threw my arms in the air. “What the hell does that have anything to do with this? First of all, the reason why there will never be a female president is because of people like you.”
“Ouch,” he said, wincing. But then his pained expression turned into a grin. “But really, do you seriously want to know why there will never be a female president?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
“Because there will be a few select days that will repeat themselves every so often. And those days will be mark higher than any terrorist attack, any natural disaster, any riot, any-”
I interrupted. “Alright, I get the point. Now tell me what it is.”
His smile got wider, if that was even possible. Now, he looked liked that weird cat in Alice in Wonderland. You know, the one that turns invisible.
“You really want to know?” he taunted. “You really, really want to know?” I kicked him underneath the table. He didn't even seem fazed by it. “Okay then, I'll give you a hint. It'll happen every month.”
I looked at him, horrified for the first few seconds. Then, I bursted into laughter. My stomach hurt because I hadn't eaten anything in days but I didn't care. It was just way too funny! Around me other girls laughed with me too and disturbingly enough, a few guys did too. Creepy. Everyone else just looked at us like we were crazy.
“What's the joke?” Courtney asked, confused.
I guess she hadn't heard. Mark, in all glory, was laughing too hard and couldn't explain it so Edwin did. He repeated everything and her reaction was similar to mine. Perplexed, disgusted, shock, amusement, and then humor. She laughed too in the end. Behind me, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around and saw it was Anthony from my science class.
“I don't get it,” he said.
“I don't expect you too,” I replied. If he wasn't confused before, he sure was now. “Do you have a sister?” I asked. I really didn't want to go into depth with the wonders of the female body.
“Yeah. A little one.”
“How old is she?”
His eyebrows crumpled up in confusion. “Eleven.”
I gave him a small pat on the back. “Don't worry,” I said. “You'll get the joke in one or two years when all hell is unleashed when your sister comes screaming out of the bathroom, yelling 'I'm dying, I'm dying!' Until then, you're on your own.”
“Uh, thank you?” he said with a questionable look. I could tell he was going to ask me fore more details when the bell rang. Saved by the bell, I though to myself. I scooped up my tray and was going to throw it out when Michelle shot me a look. Sighing, I walked back, let the rest of my friends devour my lunch, and then went to the trash can.
“Seriously, what's wrong?” a voice behind me asked. I whirled around. I thought I was the only one since everyone left for class. “You're always going on about eating the whole meal, no matter how disgusting it is. Then, you lecture us on the thousands of people who can't afford to eat until you guilt us into eating.”
“I told you. I had a big breakfast.” I said. Again, I was spared from being questioned by the bell, this time the late one. “C'mon, we're late,” I said, avoiding his eyes.
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“Did you tell your friends yet?” Mom asked me.
I cursed to myself, how did she know I was here? When school ended, I came straight here to avoid Mark when I realized I had to avoid my parents too. So I tiptoed into my room, quietly doing my homework. I desperately needed work to occupy my mind. My problem was thinking, thinking way too much.
I was about lost in the sea of formulas, numbers, and variables of math when she just came in. I desperately wanted her to leave. After all, I was avoiding her like the plague for a reason. Ever since I agreed to the marriage, they kept on asking me if I was alright and constantly brought up the past.
Like, 'do you remember when you first talked?' Of course I know what you're talking about, Mom. I mean, I was only one. (note the sarcasm). Or 'remember that time when you shove your brothers into the pool?' How could I forget, Dad. After all, I was grounded for two weeks.
Pointless things like that. And they kept on treading softly, metaphorically I mean, like I would explode at any second. I guessed it wasn't too far from the truth but it was still annoying. My brothers, Keith and Caleb, were the only ones that treated me normally. They didn't come home until Sunday afternoon so they missed that episode on Saturday morning. They were a breath of fresh air to our household. I wonder what the story will be when they find out I'll be going to England. I assumed my parents were telling them today because Nathan was coming for dinner. One thing I noticed in particular was that Mom and Dad weren't talking to each other.
So on top of my growing list of worries, that included my fear of height and going on the plane, divorce was now added. It was currently problem number 4. Playing Puck was at the bottom of my list. My anxiety for the play was now practically nonexistent. You would forget it too if you were in my place. If fact, you would probably be freaking out.
One of the things I pride is the fact that I can act normally under extreme conditions. The only side effect of this was that I sleepwalk all the time now. I woke up this morning in the middle stairs. I was curled on the steps. My dad almost tripped on me when he got up early for work.
The only thing is that I’m afraid that any day now, I would just have a breakdown. That I would just fall into pieces and start crying. It was a miracle that I survived three day, especially when one of those days were in school.
It just shows how good I am at acting, I suppose. No one but Mark and my brothers doubted anything. Mark because he knew me too well and my parents' behavior tipped my brothers so it wasn't my fault. Tomorrow, I resolved, I would have to make something up. I hated lying to my friends. It felt... wrong. Sure, give me a bribe of $20 and I’ll gladly say anything to my parents. But my friends? That was a different story.
My acting experience got my lying down to a science. It was easy to lie to my friends. They never, ever suspected a thing. And that was what hurted me the most. With Mark being the exception, I decided decisively that maybe it was for the best they were kept out of the dark.
“Well what am I suppose to them?” I said rhetorically to Mom. “'Oh, I’m going to England to meet my future husband?'” Mom stayed silent. “When's Nathan coming?” I asked when a good amount of awkwardness passed.
“Around 5/ he should be here any moment.”
Right on cue, I heard a vroom. I looked out the window and I saw a black car pulled up into the driveway.