I blinked my tears away as I saw Ruo Lan lying in her bed. All colours were drained away from her face. Her chest rose up and down in an uneven tempo.
She smiled, but the shine in her eyes faltered. "I dreamed of Mother," Ruo Lan said, lying in the silk blanket.
"I dreamed of her too," I replied, forcing a smile. When someone said that they dreamed about someone who had passed away, it meant that they were about to leave the world. I didn't want Ruo Lan to bear the thought that she was dying.
"You are lying. How would you know it was Mother when you have never seen her before? You were only an infant when Mother passed away."
"Mother isn't prejudiced and she's not supposed to love you more than she loves me. If she appeared in your dream, she can show up in mine too."
She smiled plainly. "Come and sleep next to me."
She looked like an angel when she smiled. I would miss her if she... No, that wouldn't happen.
Ruo Man stretched out her hand, caressing away my woe. "I have a lot of things to tell you."
I climbed up into her bed, and she continued, "Do you still remember the Wall of Northwest?" I nodded. She held my hand and said, "After passing the wall, we will see Beijing. I had never liked going to Beijing because the route was filled with Sparsifolia plants. The yellow flowers had curvy petals and long stamens tipped with knobby anthers, and they always tore my gown. But I could not deny that the wall looked magnificent in Winter."
"And the dates they sell there are horrible. The grapes aren't delicious as well. The skin is too thick, unlike the grapes in our homeland. Hmm, they melt instantly in your mouth like watery chocolate." I closed my eyes, remembering the fragrance of the fruit, but who knew, the stubborn tears that I tried so hard to restrain, fell, spoiling the sweet moment.
Ruo Lan patted the back of my hand. "Ruo Xi, I feel much happier now because I know I will meet Mother and Qing Shan soon." Her voice became weaker.
My eyes grew wider. "Qing Shan? The General?"
"He refused to teach me horse riding initially. He complained that I would never be able to withstand pain. If it wasn't for my status, I could never win my way to be his disciple. I was brought up to be strong and I never wanted to relent to anyone, but I did not know why, whenever I saw him, I could only obey his commands."
"I'm sure he wouldn't tease you so badly, looking at your beautiful face."
"He laughed at my lousy skill every day, but the angrier I became, the happier he was. He said I used to be a woman who followed all the etiquette and that made me look like a puppet. He said I looked like a lively maiden when I got irritated."
I couldn't find any words to reply to her. The anticipation she wore on her face was similar to a woman waiting for the return of her lover from afar. Rising from her bed slowly, she began to dress up, wearing a contented smile that I hadn't seen for years. She put on the attire which she used to wear when we went to watch the horse race. Her steps staggered.
"Sister, why don't you lie down longer?"
She shook her head. After applying lipstick and put on her favourite green Jade dangling earrings, she pointed to a tableful of hair clasps. "Ruo Xi, which do you think is nicer?"
I picked up a green and blue hair clasp. "This complements your earrings."
A wide grin spread on her face. "These earrings were gifted by Qing Shan. I am sure he will be delighted to see me wearing them." She urged me to put the hair clasp in her hair.
When all was set, she spun slowly in front of me, "How do I look? How do I look?"
"Very beautiful, sister, very." My voice was shaky.
She spun non-stop and suddenly she fell on the bed.
"Sister! Sister!" I rushed to her.
She lay in my embrace and whispered, "We rode on the horseback together; we admired the sunset together; we laughed together. I really want to go back. Qing Shan, where are you?"
"He's waiting for you," I comforted her. Her breathing became uneven.
"But I am scared. I am scared that he does not want to see me because I am still his wife."
"Please wait for me for a while." I lay her down and asked Qiao Hui to take care of her. Holding my tears, I dashed to the Eighth Bei'Le. "Please divorce my sister."
The Eighth Bei'Le's pale face became paler and he was at a loss of words.
One Sided who was coincidentally there, said, "It requires the emperor's order to divorce—"
"I'll persuade the emperor." Kneeling on the floor, I tugged at the Eighth Bei'Le's hem. "My sister has been caged here for her entire life. She has been separated from her lover for over twenty years. Her final wish now is that she can reunite with the man she loves in the Netherworld. Please, fulfill her final wish. I'll persuade the emperor. I am certain that he will not—"
"He can prosecute us at any time even when we did not commit any mistake." Gorolo Ming Hui walked in. "But Eighth Bei'Le, you are the only one who can realize her wish." She walked to the study table and prepared the brush and ink for her husband, totally ignoring his glare.
After thorough consideration, the Eighth Bei'Le took the brush from Gorolo Ming Hui's hand. He wrote on the parchment, wearing a blank expression. When he'd completed the Divorce Letter, he stamped his initials on it and threw the stamp on the table furiously. Gorolo Ming Hui handed the letter to me. I thanked her and sprinted towards Ruo Lan's residence.
Ruo Lan grasped the letter in her hand, though she was still knitting her brows together, her tone sounded relieved. "Have you seen it, Qing Shan? I am no longer a member of the Aishin Giro's family. We can go to horseriding again. We can..." Her limbs went stiff; her eyes went dead.
The Divorce Letter fell onto the floor. Qiao Hui howled and knelt beside her bed.
I folded the letter and placed it in Ruo Lan's hand. "Have a safe journey. You are finally free."
A week after Ruo Lan's funeral, Ice Face visited me. The night was deep, and I just came out from the bath, wearing only a thin nightgown. The way he stared at me made me blush.
He caressed my wet hair and whispered in my ear, "I want you."
I turned away and he added, "Do not fret. I will only unite with you when you agree. I have always wanted to unite with you but sometimes I could not guess what is playing in your mind. You are like a substance that can be hot and cold at the same time. But when I saw you playing together with Cheng Huan, I realized that I could no longer wait. I want to see you happy with our offspring. Can you be honest with me tonight? What can I do to make you say 'yes'?"
Slowly, I said, holding his gaze, "I want to be the Empress."
"Uhm, I am afraid that I cannot fulfill your request. The Empress is my predestined wife since I was young. She has never broken any rules in the palace. Plus she had lost a son years ago in a high fever, I cannot hurt her anymore and make her grief deepen."
"That night, the concubine that was chosen to spend the night with you... She's Concubine Nian, right? Can you promise me not to choose her again?"
Ice Face spoke in a low voice, "She does not commit any mistake as well. I cannot punish her by not visiting her and let her stay in her residence alone."
"Is it because she's the sister of Ambassador Nian that you have to choose her?"
Ice Face remained silent. His hand that was holding mine went stiff.
I pulled my hand out of his. "What else can you promise me?"
"I always ask myself, what I have and what can I really give you? I own the entire kingdom but you do not value it as something precious. The only thing I can grant you is my heart. I want you to be my concubine, but according to the rules, I will have to choose you to spend the night with me like how I choose the other concubines. That is why I feel pressed about the situation too. If you remain as my direct servant, I can see you every day. I can hug you to sleep every night."
I held his eyes and slowly, my hand rose to my hair. With my heart pumping, I removed the hair clasp that was holding my hair. My wet hair fell down over my half-naked shoulders. Water droplets made the nightgown that I wore even more translucent, revealing my fair bosoms.
My heart thumped faster as Ice Face drew in closer. His eyes locked on my bosoms. Breathing with lust, he took off my gown and kissed me. We ended the night with the thing we had always wanted to do and hoped that the night would never end.
Edited by YvonneKindle