TW: Discussed/mentioned homophobia
"Well, shit."
Jaemin's words were little more than a whisper, hanging in the air between them like a wispy cloud of panic, but the silence that followed was thick and uncomfortable. Chenle and Jisung couldn't seem to look away from Jaemin's stricken face, while Renjun's eyes darted back and forth between the three of them so fast that Donghyuck suspected he'd soon start to feel dizzy.
He desperately wanted to say something to ease the tense atmosphere that had been created at their table--so at odds with the bustle and vibrancy of the rest of the student body around them--but he didn't want to make things worse. While Donghyuck was tangentially involved, by virtue of his friendship with all four of them, it was Renjun and Jaemin's story to tell, if they so chose. This almost certainly wasn't how they would have planned on revealing it to Jisung and Chenle, but whatever followed was not something Donghyuck had any right to dictate or interfere with.
"I'm sorry." Chenle was the first to break, wrapping his arms protectively around his waist as he dropped his gaze to the untouched tray of food in front of him. "I should never have said anything in the first place."
Jisung followed Chenle's lead almost immediately, looking away from Jaemin and leaning into his friend's side in a comforting gesture that Donghyuck would wager he wasn't consciously aware of. As he shifted, Jaemin let out a long gust of trapped air, like he'd suddenly been released from a spell holding him in suspended animation, and dropped both hands heavily into his lap.
If one of said hands found its way back to Renjun's thigh just a few short seconds later, Donghyuck certainly wasn't going to bring it up, but he did take note when Renjun turned his gaze resolutely onto Chenle instead. He looked more confused than worried now, which was a small comfort, but the conversation was far from over.
"Why are you sorry?" Renjun asked, turning in his seat so that his whole body was angled towards the middle of the table. In doing so, he shifted back along the bench towards Jaemin a little, who visibly relaxed with each inch of increased proximity. "You didn't start those rumours."
"No," Chenle conceded shyly, still not looking up from his food, "but it was my idea to ask if it was about Jaemin-hyung and Jeno-hyung. Sungie told me that it was a bad idea, and that it might make you all uncomfortable, but I did it anyway." He blinked away what looked to be a tear, and Renjun's expression softened in an instant.
"It's okay, Chenle-yah. We're not ashamed of our relationship." He glanced over at Jaemin, who quickly nodded in agreement. "You just surprised us, that's all. Not everyone would be as supportive as you two are."
"So I was right?" Jisung peered up at Renjun, who looked taken aback by the sudden eagerness in the usually passive teenager's voice.
"Right about what?"
"That the three of you are..." He paused, scrunching his nose adorably as he looked from Renjun to Jaemin and then back. "...you know."
Jaemin smirked then and, to Donghyuck, it was like the sun rising after a particularly dark winter's night. His lips curled up at the corners and continued to spread rapidly, until a surprised bark of laughter burst from him. "Jisung, what are you? Five?"
"Hyung!" Jisung scowled half-heartedly at the older boy, who couldn't quite school his face quickly enough to hide his glee. Jaemin just shrugged dismissively, still smirking, and Jisung huffed. "I'm not that much younger than you."
"You're young enough," Jaemin retorted. "Especially when you say things like that. Somehow, you were bold enough to call me out like that in front of Hyuck and Junie and yet, now, three minutes later, you can't even say the word relationship." He grinned impishly at the freshman again, and then nudged Renjun's shoulder with his own. "You were right though, Jisung-ah. We'd really appreciate it if you didn't go and spread it around the whole 10th grade, but you were right."
"Really?" Jisung's eyes went wide, and his voice cracked as he spoke the word. "So, uh, how exactly does that work between the three of you?"
This time it was Renjun's turn to laugh, a strangled, gasping noise that ripped itself from his chest as he tried a beat too late to slap a silencing hand over his mouth. A few people at nearby tables looked up from their food, peering curiously over at him for a moment, and Renjun flushed in embarrassment. He slumped down onto his forearms on the tabletop as Jaemin patted his back gently, a mortified look on his face.
"What did I say?" Jisung asked, frowning at the boy rapidly turning purple across the table from him. Renjun shook his head mutely, holding up a finger in the universal request for patience, and then reached for the bottle of water nestled next to his tray. Not getting the answer he was looking for, Jisung turned his attention to Donghyuck next. "Hyung, what did I--?"
"I'm not going there today, Jisung-ah," Donghyuck told him firmly. "Today or any other day, for that matter. Maybe when you're older. Much, much older."
" Hyung! " Jisung flushed a similar shade to Renjun, who was now chugging water like his life depended on it, and shook his head vehemently. "That's not what I meant. I just wanted to know if it's harder to communicate with three people involved. I know I've never... I mean, I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship with anyone, but it always looks complicated enough with just two people."
"It is definitely harder," Jaemin agreed, rubbing small, gentle circles into Renjun's back as the boy tried to regain his composure. "But it's worth it. If I'm honest, I didn't know how it was going to work at first either." Renjun nodded, some of the pinkness slowly receding from his cheeks under Jaemin's careful ministrations. "It's not something I ever knew I wanted--or needed--but we're doing our best to make it work."
"Wow." Jisung's brain seemed to promptly run out of steam at that point, but the awestruck expression on his face was enough to convey the rest of what he was feeling. His eyes were still blown wide, and his body was pressed so tightly up against Chenle's side that it would have been tough to prise them apart, but it was like a weight had been lifted from the boy's shoulders that Donghyuck hadn't even realised was there.
"How long have you known?" Renjun's voice was a little rough, and he was still breathing heavily, but he seemed to have mostly recovered from the shock of Jisung's unexpectedly probing question. "You said you suspected for a while. How long?"
"A few weeks before vacation started," Chenle offered hesitantly, when Jisung glanced over at him for support. "I saw Jeno-hyung and Jaemin-hyung in the third-floor corridor after school one day, on my way to my locker. There was no-one else there, and I don't think either of you saw me, but it was the first time I'd ever seen you two hold hands like that."
"I remember that day," Jaemin said thoughtfully, talking more to Renjun than to anyone else. "I was waiting for you to finish the meeting with Mrs Jeong after your test, Injun-ah. Then Jeno joined me after his practice ended early." He paused, eyes darting across to Chenle. "Hang on, you saw that?"
"I--I didn't mean to."
Jaemin shook his head. "That's not what I meant, LeLe. I'm just surprised, that's all. We thought we were being so covert about it all, but you knew this whole time." He leant across the table and ruffled Chenle's hair affectionately. "I'm not mad. I'm impressed." He smiled sweetly, and Chenle returned it eagerly. "Super spy, Zhong Chenle, everybody."
"I had help," Chenle said quickly, tilting his head in Jisung's direction. "I wouldn't have figured out the rest of it, if it wasn't for Jisungie. He was the one who followed you after school and saw you two with Renjun-hyung."
One of Jaemin's brows shot up towards his hairline. "He did what now?"
"I can explain!" Jisung blurted, paling as four pairs of eyes landed squarely on him again.
Donghyuck tried not to smirk at the sudden, renewed panic in the younger boy's eyes, because he knew that Jaemin wasn't upset. Jisung might not have been able to see it, but the expression on Jaemin's face was one of mischief, and barely restrained chaos. He was going to have some innocent fun at Jisung's expense, and Donghyuck wasn't about to do anything to get in his way.
"I'm waiting," Jaemin told the freshman softly, his tone low and indecipherable. Jisung gulped, blinking rapidly, and reached out blindly to snag Chenle's hand under the table between them. "What do you mean, you followed me?"
"I wasn't intentionally following you, hyung." Jisung started to explain. "At least, not at first. I was meeting LeLe and his mom in town after school one day, so we could go and see a movie together. I was waiting outside the theatre, across from the bus stop, and then I saw you getting off the bus with Jeno-hyung. I tried to hide, in case either of you saw me, but you just started walking together."
"So you followed them?" Renjun asked.
"Yeah." Jisung hesitated, examining Jaemin's face for signs that he should start planning his funeral, but the older boy's expression was unreadable. Donghyuck could see in the rigid set of his shoulders just how hard Jaemin was having to work to maintain the serious facade, but he was miraculously holding it together for the time being. "I was curious, so I started to follow you. It was only for a few minutes though. You both went into a cafe just down the street, and then Renjun-hyung turned up a few minutes later. I swear it wasn't as creepy as it sounds, but you were..."
Jisung trailed off, confusion bleeding into his expression as Jaemin's carefully crafted indifference cracked a little and then promptly shattered into a million tiny pieces. Between one heartbeat and the next, he went from implacable stoicism to fits of uncontrollable giggles, burying his face into Renjun's shoulder as his body shook with laughter.
"You're not mad?" Poor Jisung must have sounded sufficiently wounded, because Jaemin managed to sober just enough to look up at him. Shaking his head, he reached out to pat Jisung's hand reassuringly, where it clenched and flexed nervously around the lip of the tray in front of him.
"Not even a little bit," Jaemin admitted. Jisung glanced over at Renjun, who shook his head in agreement. He then glanced over at Donghyuck, who shrugged in a way he hoped conveyed that he was not willing to get involved in Jaemin's games. "I'm actually impressed, Jisung-ah. Not many people could have put that together so quickly. I think that was only about a week after we started dating. It took the three of us far longer than that to figure out our feelings in the first place."
"You can say that again," Renjun muttered. Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, a mischievous grin baring his teeth, and Renjun smacked him hard in the arm. "Not literally, idiot." Jaemin pouted and Renjun rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, before turning his attention back to the rest of the group. "It's still new for all three of us, but I'm glad we don't have to hide it from you two anymore."
"You can trust us with your secret, hyung," Chenle insisted. Jisung echoed his words without hesitation, and Donghyuck couldn't help the swell of affection that flared to life in his chest as he watched the two youngest members of his family react so overwhelmingly positively to the situation. Polyamory was still very much taboo in most countries around the world--and that was the same in both realities, as far as Donghyuck knew--let alone the particularly conservative country they called home.
"Do you think you might decide to tell people eventually?" Jisung asked a few minutes later, leaning forward onto his elbow. "I know it's not that common here, but it's just love in a different way, right? There's nothing wrong with it."
"Never change, Jisungie." Jaemin fixed him with such a fond look that Jisung wilted a little under its intensity, but the blossoming pride in the older boy's eyes was one of the most endearing things Donghyuck thought he'd ever seen. "You're right again, of course," Jaemin continued, "but not everyone sees things like you do. Things are changing a lot right now in this country, but we're still a very long way away from polyamory being widely accepted or tolerated."
"What about homosexuality?" Donghyuck didn't realise he'd spoken until the words were out into the open, and he met Renjun's surprised gaze before he fully processed how strange his words might be to those of their group who didn't yet know that he wasn't from around here. "I mean, if things are changing--"
Yeah," Chenle interjected, to Donghyuck's supreme relief. Chenle didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, although Jisung shot him a quick, furtive glance that held more questions than either of them was prepared to deal with on this particular Monday afternoon. "What did you mean by that?"
"Did you notice any of your classmates saying anything discriminatory about those rumours you mentioned, Chenle?" Jaemin asked, in lieu of a response. Both freshmen thought hard about his question for a moment, before Chenle shook his head. "Exactly."
"I don't understand."
"On the whole, most people our age in Korea are pretty accepting of same-sex relationships now," Jaemin explained. "Not all of them, and not all of the time, but it's definitely a lot better than it was for people in our parents' generation. Most of the older generations are still really stuck in their ways, and they're often completely blinded to new ways of thinking because of how they grew up." He sighed. "I know my mom is like that."
"Mine too," Renjun said sadly. "She's not as bad as yours, but she just doesn't understand."
"I'm sorry." Chenle frowned at the pair opposite him, but Jaemin shook his head with a small smile.
"It's okay. It's better than it used to be, and hopefully, we can continue to change things for the better." He glanced over at Renjun, and the older boy's hand disappeared beneath the table to join Jaemin's in his lap. Jaemin shifted even closer to him, their arms pressed together in solidarity and unspoken support, and continued to speak. "That tolerance probably doesn't quite extend to the three of us yet, but I'm hopeful that, one day, it might."
"I hope so too," Donghyuck said softly, meeting Renjun's eye again.
Renjun didn't say anything in response, but the question in his eyes was unmistakable. He wanted to know if it was the same where Donghyuck was from. Was there that same hope that things might eventually be different? Were people in his Korea starting to consider tolerance over hate? Donghyuck shook his head, a sombre smile still pasted on his lips, and Renjun's face fell. He couldn't lie to Renjun about this, he knew that, but it didn't stop Donghyuck being glad that, here at least, things could be better.
"What can we do?" Jisung asked abruptly, unaware of the profound exchange happening right next to him. His gaze slowly swept each of them in turn, as though he might be able to read the answer on one of their faces, but it was Jaemin who answered.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you said you wanted to keep things a secret about you three," Jisung explained, "and I understand that, but you're not--you're not the only gay students at this school." He hesitated, appearing to choose his next words carefully, but then a spark of determination lit up his gaze. "I'm not sure what I feel about a lot of things yet, but I definitely know that I don't want to be forced to hide who I am because of what other people think."
"Me too," Chenle said with a small nod. He let his cheek drop onto Jisung's shoulder, and the younger boy relaxed into his touch. Donghyuck's heart leapt in his chest at the sight, and he wanted to reach over and wrap the pair of them into a tight embrace, to protect them from the world for as long as he was able, but he held back for fear of interrupting whatever was happening inside Jisung's head.
"Exactly." Jisung pressed his nose into Chenle's hair for a moment, eyelids fluttering closed, before he resumed staring at Jaemin. "I want to be as supportive as I can be, so other people can feel more comfortable to be themselves. How best can I--can we--do that?"
"I, uh--" Jaemin's mouth opened and closed a few times, his Adam's apple working overtime despite the lack of words emerging. Jisung just blinked at him, refusing to release him from the question, so Donghyuck decided to step in and help them both out.
"You've already done the hard part," he told the younger boy kindly. Jisung turned a little pink at the praise, and an embarrassed smile spread across his lips, but he didn't try to argue. "The important part is that you're willing to support your friends. Unfortunately, there will always be plenty of people who want to spread negativity instead. And, despite what Jaemin said about things changing, some of them may even end up being here at school."
"What if they're being hateful?"
"Combat that hatred with positivity, Jisung-ah. Stick up for people who can't stick up for themselves," Donghyuck told him firmly. He placed a hand on Jisung's shoulder, pleasantly surprised when the boy didn't immediately shrug it off. "Be the better person, but don't be afraid to call people out for discrimination when you see it. Exactly the same way you would call someone out for any other kind of bullying."
For a few long moments, Jisung didn't say anything. He seemed to be deep in thought, processing Donghyuck's words. The older boy could practically see the cogs turning in Jisung's brain, as he embedded them into place in his fundamental ideology, and he hoped that they would stick. He was already immeasurably proud of this Jisung--and this Chenle, for that matter--but, if he could leave them with one thing to remember him by after he returned home, he knew he could do far, far worse than this.
"I will, hyung," Jisung said finally, voice laced with an uncompromising determination that threatened to take Donghyuck breath away. "I promise."
--
The rest of the day passed without much fanfare. Donghyuck, Jaemin and Chenle attended a full cast rehearsal after school, led by an increasingly distracted Dejun. Half the cast struggled to concentrate much past Act 1, the other half still hadn't learnt their lines to Dejun's exacting standards, and the preoccupied senior himself spent the majority of the rehearsal texting furiously on his mobile phone.
Eventually, with nearly an hour still left to go, Donghyuck finally persuaded him to send the rest of the cast home. Although initially reluctant, Dejun eventually looked up from his phone just long enough to see the dejected looks on the faces of the students gathered around the stage, and then dismissed them for the evening. Donghyuck tried to ask what was going on, to talk to Dejun as they packed away, but the older boy seemed reticent to so much as look at him.
Donghyuck walked with Jaemin and Chenle out to his car, the trio trailing behind Dejun as they moved leisurely through the halls. At the main doors, he was promptly joined by Hendery, who somehow looked in even worse shape than he did, and they left together without so much as a backwards glance at any of their other friends. Something niggled irritatingly at the back of Donghyuck's mind, something that he knew he ought to remember but couldn't, and then it was quickly abandoned on the drive home, replaced by thoughts of dinner and homework.
--
The next morning, it all became immediately clear from the second he set foot in homeroom. For one, there were already twice as many students in the room than was normal for this time in the morning. For another thing, the same two names were suddenly on everyone's lips, echoed in every single conversation he passed on his way to where Jaemin and Renjun sat huddled together on top of Renjun's desk.
Xiao Dejun. Wong Kunhang.
Rumours.
Together.
Dating.
"I guess we now know what Chenle and Jisung were talking about at lunch yesterday," he muttered by way of introduction, sliding bodily into the chair that had been tucked under the desk next to Renjun's left knee. He propped his chin up on the older boy's knee, peering up through his lashes at his friends. Jaemin smiled at him in greeting, but Renjun's brows were furrowed and his lips were pulled down into a distracted frown.
"Evidently," the older boy agreed, staring out grimly at the sea of faces around them. Renjun's feet were tangled up in the metal frame of the desk beneath him, like it was a ladder he'd climbed to escape the ocean of students all circling for blood--or gossip, although Donghyuck wasn't sure which would actually be worse--and he had a vice-like grip on Jaemin's arm.
"Have you seen either of them yet today?"
"No." Jaemin shook his head. "I usually see Kunhang-hyung on my way in, because he goes to the dance studio with Soonyoung-hyung and the other senior dancers before class most days, but I didn't see him this morning."
"Fill me in on exactly what's going on?" Donghyuck asked.
He suspected he could guess, and he also suspected that the ominous group chat he'd discovered on his phone yesterday would tell him more than enough, if he were to check it, but he preferred to hear it from his friends. Dejun and Hendery were his friends too, after all, even if he didn't know either of them all that well yet in this reality. He did know, however, that they deserved far better than the mindless gossip of countless bored high schoolers.
"It spread all over social media late last night, apparently," Renjun offered. "Jeno saw someone talking about it in the soccer team group chat first thing this morning, and it seems like the whole school knows about it by now."
"It's barely eight in the morning," Donghyuck said in disbelief. "Gossip really travels that fast?" He didn't think even news of a major idol scandal would travel that quickly through the industry. Gay couple or not, he thought that the news of two unassuming high school seniors dating one another would have taken at least a few days to spread to the entire school population.
"I forget sometimes that you're not actually a teenager, Hyuck," Renjun mused, flashing him a smile that actually reached his eyes for the first time that morning. "Everything is major news in high school, and this is going to be the biggest news of the semester. Besides Mark arriving, of course. I'm not actually sure which will win out for gossip of the year, between those two." He frowned again. "It's all ridiculous."
"How are people taking it?" Donghyuck knew that both of his friends would read into his question exactly what he really wanted to ask. Were people gossiping for the sake of excitement, or were they judging Dejun and Kunhang for their romantic orientation? "Do I even want to ask?"
"Surprisingly well," Jaemin told him, eyes darting from one group of students to the next before coming to rest on Donghyuck's face. "I heard one girl in the parking lot this morning telling her friend how cute she thought they were as a couple. I think people are just talking because it's new. I haven't heard anything negative yet."
"Neither have I," Renjun agreed. The edge of hope in his voice was impossible to ignore, but Donghyuck knew that his thoughts would likely also be laced with sadness. For all the acceptance there seemed to be for the newest power couple on campus--or whatever Dejun and Kunhang turned out to be--Renjun would still be forced to hide the people he cared about the most under the guise of mere friendship. It had to sting.
The teacher arrived at that moment, curtailing the majority of the conversations around them instantly, but Donghyuck could still hear smatterings of whispered interactions as they invariably threaded through the next few hours of his day. The teachers were, for the most part, effective at directing the attention of his classmates onto algebra and world history, but he couldn't ignore the names that were constantly uttered under people's breath when they thought the adults weren't paying attention.
He just hoped that, wherever Dejun and Kunhang were this morning, they were okay.
--
Donghyuck actually ran into Dejun completely by chance, halfway through his third class of the day. On his way to the bathroom, of all places, he turned a corner and smacked face-first into the older boy's chest. Rocked back on his feet, reminded all over again that he was back to being a head shorter than most of his older brothers at this stage in his physical development, he flailed for a moment until a steadying hand reached out to grip his elbow.
"Are you okay?"
As he blinked away a grey spot that had appeared in his field of vision, a familiar face slowly materialised in front of Donghyuck. Dejun looked mildly concerned, peering down at him like he could examine him for internal injuries by sheer force of will, but that was largely overshadowed by the dark circles of a sleepless night etched beneath both of the senior's eyes.
"I'm fine," Donghyuck assured him, stepping back to give the older boy a little breathing space. Dejun allowed his arm to fall limply to his side, no longer required to steady his personal battering ram, and then shoved his hand deep into the pocket of his blazer. His eyes looked haunted, like he'd seen a dozen ghosts in quick succession, and Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to shield him from everyone else in the universe in that moment. "Are you?"
"I'm fin--" Halfway through his rehearsed answer, Dejun seemed to register the genuine concern in the younger boy's eyes, because he paused and then began again. "You know, I've been better."
Donghyuck didn't know what to say. He wanted to apologise for what Dejun must be experiencing, but that wasn't on him. He wanted to tell him it would be okay, but he couldn't promise that either. Eventually, he settled on honesty. "I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, but I'm here if you... well, if you need me."
"Thanks, Hyuck-ah." Dejun offered him a small smile. It wasn't much, but it looked to be earnest. A tiny spark of something previously masked flared in his eyes, and Donghyuck returned his gesture with a soft smile of his own. "I really appreciate that." He glanced up and over Donghyuck's shoulder, staring down the corridor behind him for a few seconds, and then sighed. "I should get going."
"Do you need to get back to class?" Donghyuck temporarily ignored the pressure in his bladder, reminding him of the reason for his own mid-class excursion, and focused on Dejun's abruptly crest-fallen expression.
"Yeah." The older boy sighed again. "There's only so many hall passes one person can claim in a single day without the teachers thinking you have a bladder infection." He chuckled, although there was little humour to the sound. "If I can just make it through the rest of this hour, and then through lunch, and then through..." He paled, evidently imagining the rest of his day stretching out before him, and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Hey, hyung?" Donghyuck felt instinct taking over, and knew immediately that this was the right decision to be made. He wasn't sure why, but he was certain that he could help Dejun to survive the day, if he played his cards right. "Do you have time during lunch to meet with me? I had some ideas that I wanted to discuss for the musical. You might be busy, but--"
"I'm not!" The response was immediate, and Donghyuck saw the exact moment that the implications of his plan registered in Dejun's mind. "Could you maybe meet me in the drama studio after class? We can, you know..."
Hide out in the one place in the school where Dejun felt the safest. That much didn't need to be spoken aloud. Donghyuck was acutely aware of the attachment the senior felt towards the peaceful practice space at the end of the Performing Arts corridor, and he also knew that it would be the perfect place to try to help Dejun get his mind off the events of the day so far.
"Sounds perfect, hyung," Donghyuck agreed, flashing Dejun an encouraging smile. Dejun brightened a little more with each word, so Donghyuck was cautiously optimistic that his plan might work. "I'll be there."
"Great." Dejun made to leave, stepping around Donghyuck to head in the direction the younger boy had just come from, and then paused. Turning back, he met Donghyuck's eye. "Is it okay if Hen--uh, if Kunhang hangs out in the studio with us during lunch? I just really don't want to leave him to fend for himself today. I'll understand if you're not--"
"Hendery is absolutely welcome." Dejun's brows rose in surprise, and Donghyuck grinned at him. Throwing caution to the wind, he patted Dejun's arm and winked. "He's pretty awesome. You're lucky to have someone like him. Although, do you ever think you might be punching above your weight, hyung?"
Dejun took a few seconds to react, mouth hanging open in shock as Donghyuck made a beeline down the corridor in the direction of the nearest bathroom, evil grin fixed in place. Still, the younger boy couldn't mistake the high, easy laugh that belatedly burst forth from Dejun, just as he pushed the bathroom door open and stepped inside. It was light and mercifully unaffected, if a little brief. It was like music to his ears.
If nothing else went his way today, Donghyuck hoped they'd both remember that sound.
--
Distracted by his thoughts and already late for his lunchtime "meeting" with Dejun--thanks to the teacher taking an eternity to answer his very simple question about their homework--Donghyuck almost didn't spot Mark at first.
In fact, he'd completely walked past the older boy before he realised that anything was out of the ordinary. So focused was he on getting to the drama studio, he barely even registered the sizable crowd that had gathered outside the classroom. If it hadn't been for the fact that he was forced to wade through twice as many students as usual, many of whom had simply stopped dead in the middle of the hallway to turn and stare, he might not have even given it a second thought.
Mark was leaning against the wall outside the room Donghyuck had just exited. His foot was propped up on the kickboard like he didn't have a care in the world, his shoulder flush with the notice board to his left as he did his best to blend into the paintwork. He was fighting a losing battle, if the giggling girls and gossiping freshmen around him were anything to go by, but none of that explained what he was doing there in the first place.
"Donghyuck-ah!"
"Hi, hyung." Ignoring the confused murmurs of the crowd around him, Donghyuck quickly made his way back over to where Mark stood. "I didn't know you had a class up here this morning."
"Oh, I don't," Mark said sheepishly, brushing an invisible strand of hair out of his face. Donghyuck couldn't help but roll his eyes as one of the students nearest to them, a girl he recognised from his English class, fanned herself dramatically with her hand at Mark's actions, but he managed to maintain some semblance of a poker face. "My last class was downstairs. I was just waiting for Jeno."
Donghyuck paused, a frown etching itself onto his face as he eyed Mark suspiciously. Mark's hands fidgeted restlessly at his sides, which was as good a tell as any that he was lying through his teeth, but Donghyuck couldn't even begin to guess at why. "Jeno left five minutes ago. You probably passed him on the stairs on your way up."
"Oh." To his credit, Mark almost managed to make the shock on his face believable, but then it was quickly eclipsed by a warm, broad smile that crinkled his eyes at the corners. "Maybe I can walk with you to lunch instead."
"I actually have a meeting," Donghyuck told him apologetically. Mark's face started to fall, the brightness in his eyes dimming just a little, and the younger boy scrambled to salvage the situation. "You can walk with me as far as the drama studio though, if you'd like."
"Sure." That winning smile returned full force, and Mark pushed himself up and off the wall. He moved until they were side by side, separated only by the books packed neatly into the bag Mark had slung over one hip, and then dropped an arm across Donghyuck's shoulders. "Lead the way."
They got a lot of second--and third--glances as they made their way down the stairs and into the main part of the school. Mark's arm didn't shift from its position hooked loosely around his neck, even when the crowds of students became too tightly packed and he had to shift closer. Donghyuck tried to ignore the way his face reddened, whenever Mark's hip pressed closer into his as they navigated a particularly narrow bottleneck, and he didn't even want to imagine what he must look like to the people around them.
Mark chattered happily away about this and that as they walked, making observations about different display boards and classrooms as they passed. Donghyuck tried to focus in on what he was saying, but kept getting distracted by the stony looks he received from boys and girls alike on their route. One girl was even bold enough to try to step in their way to attract Mark's attention, a garish pink envelope clutched in her shaking fingers, but the older boy didn't so much as glance at her.
"Are you okay?" Mark asked, after they were clear of the majority of the tumult. He stopped walking, shifting so that he could look Donghyuck in the eye, fingers absently playing with the sleeve of the younger boy's blazer. "You seem a bit distracted today."
"I'm fine," Donghyuck said quickly. "I've just got a lot on my mind." He wasn't exactly sure whether he was referring to the situation with Dejun and Hendery, or to the fact that the prolonged proximity to Mark was making his brain short-circuit and threaten to melt into goo inside his skull. Either way, Mark didn't ask. He just nodded as though he understood, and then carried on walking.
"Do you want me to wait for you to finish your meeting?" Mark asked a few moments later, as they rounded the corner into the Performing Arts hallway. Donghyuck must have made a noise of confusion, because he quickly explained himself. "You didn't mention how long it would take. If it's short, we could get lunch together afterwards. Or I could bring lunch to you, if you don't have time to eat..."
"Mark?" At the sound of Donghyuck's voice, Mark abruptly shut up like he'd just sealed his mouth up with extra strength tape. He blinked down mutely at Donghyuck, who turned to face him and unsuccessfully tried to decipher the look on his face. If this had been another Mark, from another place and time, Donghyuck would have said he could read him like an open book, but it was like he was having to learn some parts of Mark all over again. "Why were you waiting outside my classroom upstairs?"
"I told you--"
"You were waiting for Jeno," Donghyuck finished for him. "Yeah, I know. You told me that, but that's not the truth, is it?"
"I don't--"
"Mark Lee."
"I--"
"Suh!" Donghyuck realised his mistake the same time Mark did, because he felt his face start to morph into a grimace as he watched Mark's simultaneously slacken in surprise. "I meant Mark Suh." He chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry. Force of habit."
"I don't mind," Mark told him. "It's like you're seeing this cool hidden side to me that no one else sees, one that hardly anyone but me even remembers anymore. It was confusing at first, but now I kind of like it. I haven't been Mark Lee in a very long time."
"I'm glad," Donghyuck said. "Still, I need to practice using your actual name. I can't afford to keep making so many mistakes." Especially around you, he thought, as Mark beamed at him and shrugged clumsily, in a way that made him look like each of his long limbs was being operated independently from the others. The goofy side of his best friend emerging reminded him, however, that Mark still hadn't answered his earlier question. "So...?"
"Okay, fine." Mark huffed, like he was being forced to reveal his deepest, darkest secret under duress, but his grin didn't fade. "You caught me. I guess I kind of wanted to hang out with you at lunch today. I didn't see you at all yesterday, and you and Jeno are the only people here that I know so far."
"We barely know each other yet," Donghyuck pointed out helpfully. "Not really."
"And yet, you know me better than just about anyone." Donghyuck wasn't about to argue that one, so he just stayed quiet. Mark must have taken his silence as tacit agreement, because he nodded to himself and continued. "I feel comfortable around you. This is all so alien to me, with the new school and the new country and everything. Plus, I haven't figured out how to actually make friends in my classes yet--besides Yukhei, and that's only because Jeno forced him on me first thing Monday morning, and demanded that we be friends."
"I find it hard to believe that you haven't been inundated with friend requests," Donghyuck said with a smirk. "You're all anyone was talking about yesterday. I'm sure you've had people throwing themselves at you left and right, ever since you set foot in the building."
Mark shuddered slightly, scuffing the shiny floor with the tip of one of his shoes. "Don't even get me started. If one more girl calls me oppa, I might have to escape through the nearest open window." Donghyuck snorted, unable to stop himself, and Mark's lips spread as he fought to keep the giggle out of his voice. "Living in the US, I actually managed to forget for a while just how much I hate that word."
"I can call you oppa if you want, oppa ." The glare Mark levelled in Donghyuck's direction was so murderous, even as he tried to keep from laughing, that Donghyuck held his hands up in defeat. "Okay, not that. Not even as a joke. Got it."
"Anything but that," Mark agreed. Then he glanced between Donghyuck and the door behind him, which had a familiar sign hanging above it. "By the way, didn't you say you had a meeting?"
"Oh shit!" Donghyuck glanced across at the clock mounted above the display board on the opposite wall. "I'm so late. It wouldn't matter usually, but it was my idea and Dejun was nice enough to agree to meet with me--"
"Dejun?" Mark frowned, his brows knitting together above the bridge of his nose. "Xiao Dejun?"
"Yeah."
"He's one of the seniors everyone is talking about today, right?" Mark sounded unsure, but it wasn't much of a surprise that he'd heard about it. Even if he didn't actually talk to any of his classmates, the students around him weren't likely to be any more subtle with their gossip than those in Donghyuck's year group. "That's got to be rough. Are you two friends?"
"Kind of." Donghyuck wasn't exactly sure how to explain his relationship with Dejun, but he figured Mark might be able to understand better than most. "He's on the list I told you about, from my reality, which makes him as much a part of this whole mess as you or I. He joined my--our family a little bit later, so I don't know him as well as I'd like yet, but I know that I care about him a lot. Him and Kunhang-ssi."
"I should leave you to talk to him then." Mark hesitated, eyeing the door to the studio a little apprehensively. "It's hard enough to be in high school at our age, without being forcibly outed as..." He trailed off.
"Gay?"
"Yeah."
"Do you, uh, have a problem with, you know, someone being...?" Donghyuck really didn't want to finish that sentence, didn't think he could cope with the answer not being the one he was hoping for, but he had to know. Everything with Mark was so complicated right now--not least because he was simultaneously both the same person and not the same person Donghyuck was head over heels in love with, his personality currently housed in the body of a high school student several years younger than Donghyuck was himself--but this was not something he could compromise on. Not ever.
"Of course not!" The response was so quick that Donghyuck half expected it to give him whiplash. Mark looked a little disappointed that he'd had to ask, but didn't stop to question him further. "I, uh--I don't really talk about my sexuality much, I guess, but it probably doesn't matter with you. Where you're from, we're best friends, and best friends tell each other everything, right? You're probably bored of hearing it at this point, after listening to me wax on about it a few hundred times."
Mark laughed casually, like his words hadn't just punched a gaping hole deep into Donghyuck's chest cavity. He watched as Donghyuck nodded mutely, not seeming to notice the sudden fear in the younger boy's eyes, and then ploughed on with what seemed to be a well-practised speech.
"I just don't think love should be restricted to the neat little boxes that society has laid out for us, you know? If I like someone, what does it matter whether they have the same genitals as me or not? If I like them and they like me, that's all that matters. The kind of person they are inside, that's what's important."
Again, Donghyuck barely managed to nod in agreement, a flood of emotions washing over him faster than he could even begin to process them. He wanted to stop Mark, to tell him the truth--that he and his-Mark had never had this conversation before--but he also didn't want to hurt Mark by implying that he'd been lying about their friendship. He couldn't let him down like that.
Mark Lee was his best friend, the one person he could go to about anything and everything. That was the fundamental truth. He'd been there for most of Donghyuck's defining moments as a teenager, and then later as a young adult starting to navigate his way through the world independently. He'd been there for Mark in much the same way. They shared everything.
Everything except this.
Everything except how, for Donghyuck, Mark was that person he spoke of so eruditely. That person who he'd gladly break out of his societal box for. That person he'd probably love for the rest of his life. His soulmate, if such a thing were to be real.
He'd wanted to hear Mark say something like this for years, far too many years to count. He'd long dreamed of the day that Mark would confirm that he had hope, had a chance to win his best friend's heart. So why, now that it was finally happening right in front of him, did it suddenly feel hollow? Why did it feel like he was cheating both of them? Why did it feel like he was bearing witness to a confession that he hadn't earned?
"I guess, if society had to put a label on it, people would call me bisexual," Mark continued, blissfully ignorant of the battle taking place inside Donghyuck's head. He shrugged, an easy smile tugging at his lips, and nudged Donghyuck's arm with his elbow. "Pansexual, even. But I think that's unnecessary. It's nobody else's business but mine. Mine and the people I choose to share it with."
Donghyuck must have taken too long to answer for Mark's liking, because the older boy was suddenly all up in his face, bending over a little to watch him carefully. "Did I say something wrong?" He looked worried now, a devastating shift from the sunny boy who had been talking animatedly about his feelings just seconds earlier. It broke something deep inside Donghyuck to see, and so he shook his head without a second thought.
"No. Not at all." He forced himself to smile, to convince Mark of his words. "I was just thinking. You really are something special, Mark-hyung. Whoever ends up being your person is going to be so blessed."
"My person--" Mark stepped back and his gaze darkened for a second, something akin to grief ghosting across his face for a moment as he stared at the younger boy. Then he blinked it away, and his smile returned. "Yeah. Uh..." He glanced at the door to the dance studio again, this time very deliberately, and then cleared his throat. "You shouldn't keep your friend waiting. I'm meant to be meeting Jeno for lunch in the cafeteria and I'm late now too, so I should go. If you want, I can let your friends know where you are."
"Oh." Mark was already backing away down the corridor as Donghyuck spoke. There was something uneasy in his expression, and in the way that he wouldn't quite look Donghyuck directly in the eye as he moved, but he was right about both of them being late for their respective lunch plans. "Sure. Thanks."
"I--I'll see you later, Donghyuck-ah." Mark started to move quicker now, turning to all but flee down the corridor. Before Donghyuck could so much as raise a hand to wave goodbye, he disappeared around the corner, leaving the younger boy standing alone in the abandoned hallway.
Confused, Donghyuck tried to figure out what had just happened to make Mark react like that, but nothing immediately came to mind. It was like the older boy had suddenly flipped a switch, shutting down their conversation in a heartbeat. Donghyuck guessed that he'd probably just have to ask him, the next time he could get Mark on his own for a few minutes, but, for the time being, he needed to put it out of his mind.
Right now, he had far more important things to deal with than Mark's bizarre mood swing. He wasn't the only person in Donghyuck's life who seemed like they were in desperate need of a friend and, today of all days, he reckoned someone else needed him a lot more than Mark Suh.