A/N: Hopefully you're enjoying so far!!! Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me :)
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💬 Twenty questions, we tell the truth 💬
The next thing the singer knows, they're wrapped up in one of those scratchy hotel blankets in the corner of the couch, a mess of tangled legs and uncomfortable fabric, but Taylor wouldn't have it any other way.
They're giggling like teenagers again, and Taylor can't even remember the last time she had this much fun with a friend. But she wouldn't tell Karlie that, just in case she'd scare her away. They've known each other for barely 4 days after all. So for now, she just settles on fending off the recurrent blush that keeps creeping up her neck from their close contact.
"Hey, I don't think we ever finished twenty questions," Karlie brings up after telling Taylor a story about how she accidentally fell off the runway after wearing heels that were 2 sizes too big. Taylor had almost died of laughter right then and there.
"Oops, guess not. I guess we got a little... distracted," Taylor responds with a bubbly giggle.
"I never did get a timeout, did I?" Karlie jokes, raising one perfectly-shaped eyebrow.
"Watch your tone."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's your turn anyway."
Taylor nods slowly, thinking of a simple question. The only thing she actually wants to ask the model is 'You don't happen to be into girls, do you?' or maybe something corny like 'Are you single and looking?' But instead, she decides to ask Karlie how she prefers her steak, as stupid as that question is. At least she'd know if Karlie ever came over for dinner or something.
"Actually I'm vegan," she states matter-of-factly.
"Seriously? No meat at all?" Taylor questions incredulously, staring at her with undeniable disbelief. How does someone live like that? Taylor would last maybe 3 days and then start binge-eating every available string of bacon in the house.
Karlie shakes her head once and says, "None. It's much healthier and honestly, the food sometimes tastes a lot better."
"Right, okay."
"You don't believe me?"
"Nope."
"Hmmm... well, I guess I'll have to convince you with an amazing vegan meal," she says with a shrug.
"As much as I'd like that, we just ate, like, ten boxes of takeout," the singer reminds her with a short laugh.
Karlie swats Taylor's shoulder gently. "I meant another night, genius."
"Oh, already making plans again?" Taylor teases, attempting to mask the excitement in her voice but clearly failing. She wants to hang out again.
"Of course I am!" she exclaims, but suddenly grows quiet and an unsure expression dominates her face. "Um, unless you don't want to. I don't wanna force you into anything..."
"Yes, I want to," Taylor clarifies, a surge of happiness flashing through her chest. "And it's your turn, by the way."
"Oh okay, uh... have you ever gotten into an accident?"
"Um, you'll have to be a little more specific. I've gotten into– uh, quite a few accidents," Taylor says unsurely. Karlie bites back her laugh before rephrasing.
"I mean, like, vehicle accidents."
"Three car crashes, one snowmobile accident."
The model chuckles loudly, scrunching up her face and dimples becoming prominent. Shit. How come she's so cute?
"Oh my god, how are you not dead yet?" Karlie asks breathlessly after a minute of enchanting-sounding laughing. But seriously, Taylor could listen to her laugh for hours. It's not even funny how melodic her voice sounds.
"I'm a clumsy person, I know," Taylor rolls her eyes at Karlie's reaction. And technically that snowmobile accident wasn't even her fault– blame Harry Styles. (But that's the last person she wants to talk about with Karlie.) "Moving on then, what is something you really want to do in the future?"
Karlie's eyes instantly light up after the question and she starts squirming excitedly. "Too many things to count!"
"Too bad, you have to choose one."
"Okay, okay, hmm..." She pauses, probably thinking to herself. "I know it probably would never happen but... I think I'd really like to go to college."
"Really?" Taylor tries to imagine Karlie as a student, dressed in a university sweatshirt and a messy bun, spending her time in a tiny dorm. The singer has always dreamed of attending college but, just like Karlie, her career wouldn't allow her to go. Sucks though, but not everyone can be a normal student.
"Yeah." Karlie nods sheepishly like she's embarrassed about wanting to go. She shouldn't be, because frankly everyone deserves a shot at school. "I'd love to get a degree or something, take some fun classes..." But the light in her eyes quickly flickers out, as does her smile. "It would never work though. My schedule leaves me barely any free time. But a girl can dream, right?"
Taylor shakes her head frantically. "No, you have to go."
"Don't you think I could if I would?" Karlie says with a bitter laugh that grows thin.
"There has to be some course you can take that doesn't get in the way of your schedule. If you wait too long, you'll miss your chance."
"I don't know. I mean, it's such a big commitment and–"
"No excuses!" Taylor interjects determinedly. "When applications for schools open up next year, you better apply. I will make you."
This time, Karlie's laugh is laced with humor. "I wish it was that easy."
"It is that easy."
"What if I get rejected though? I can't imagine any university would want some supermodel enrolled."
"Their loss," she says with a dismissive shrug. "Any school would be insane not to accept you."
Karlie smiles sweetly, lighting up the whole room and causing blood to rush up into Taylor's cheeks simultaneously. Karlie's smile alone could potentially make Taylor spontaneously combust.
"I'll– I guess I'll think about applying," Karlie surrenders.
"Good," Taylor smiles, proud of herself, "and now it's your turn to ask a question."
"Let me think for a second."
Taylor nods, shifting under the blanket they're wrapped in, very aware of how warm she's gotten in the past few seconds. Karlie obviously has no idea of the effect she has on her friend. This isn't good. Taylor is falling... hard. And she's only known her for less than a week.
An annoying ringtone cuts off Taylor's bitter thoughts. With a groan, she reaches over the couch to the side table for her phone.
She's about to decline the call because playing a game of 20 questions with Karlie is much more important but stops herself when she catches sight of the caller ID.
"Oh, this is my mom. Do you mind if I take this?" Taylor asks, wishing that her mother didn't own a cell phone at this moment.
"Ugh, fine," Karlie pouts beside her. "Don't take too long though."
"It'll give you more time to think up a really good question." Taylor reluctantly untangles herself from the model and accepts the call, moving to the next room for privacy. You never know what kind of topics her mom could bring up.
"Hi, sweetheart," Andrea greets her. Just her voice makes Taylor grin stupidly and forgive her for interrupting time with Karlie.
"Hey, Mom. Did you need something?"
"Do I need a reason to talk to my daughter?" she asks accusingly.
"Um, no, sorry. You just kind of caught me in the middle of something–"
"It can wait, I just needed to check up on you quickly."
"Why?" Taylor inquires unsurely. Oh god. What if something embarrassing leaked? What if a fan hacked into her personal information and found tons of unreleased songs? What if someone discovered her camera roll and posted the worst pictures of her? What if a news site started an idiotic rumor about her that's now all over the internet? What if one of her last Twitter posts suddenly became problematic? What if one of her friends started trashing her online? Thousands of possibilities ran through her mind, each of them 10 times worse than the last.
"Taylor, I can practically hear your anxiety through the phone," Andrea quips.
"Did something happen?" she demands, ignoring her mom's comment and trying to keep her breathing even.
"Nothing to be worried about, sweetheart. Just about a few minutes ago I saw some new pictures of you from earlier today and, well, you looked a little frazzled."
"Oh." She breathes a sigh of relief. It was just the pictures of her getting lunch with Karlie. That seems like days ago now that she thinks about it. "This pap got right in our faces and I guess it just startled me a bit."
"Taylor, you'd looked like you saw a ghost!" Andrea says. "A few sites picked up on it, nothing to be worried about though. I'm sure Tree will handle it if it goes out of control. But gosh, you looked funny."
"Gee, thanks," Taylor says dryly, annoyed at her mom again for stealing her away from Karlie. "Is that all?"
"Wow, you really want to get back to whatever you were doing. You're sounding very impatient," Andrea observes.
"I am, thanks."
"Are you out somewhere? Or are you writing songs under a blanket like a hobbit?"
"I'm in my hotel room, but I'm not being a hermit if you're wondering," Taylor answers with an eye roll. "I'm with my friend."
"Really? Do I know them? Is it Lily? Ed? Selena? Britany? Jaime?"
"Uh, no, none of them. I'm with Karlie," she says, hoping the agitation in her tone isn't noticeable.
Taylor swears she can hear Andrea smirk through the other end of the phone. "Is she the one you were telling me about? The nice girl who helped you at the show?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
There's a beat of silence. Just as Taylor finally thinks her mom will leave her alone, she speaks up again.
"Are you two becoming good friends? I know you just met her a few days ago," Andrea asks, although it sounds much more like an interrogation.
"Yes, Mom, we're friends, but I've really got to get back to what we were doing." She feels slightly guilty for pushing her mother off the phone but Karlie is just sitting there alone, probably thinking Taylor is the worst host ever.
"You know, in some of the pictures I saw, you two were holding hands. Isn't that cute? Must be very good friends," Andrea says, curiosity dripping from every word.
Of course. Of course she's suspicious.
"Can I talk to you later?" Taylor grumbles. The impatience in her voice is undeniable, but at this point she doesn't really care. Gossiping with her mother while Karlie is on the other side of the wall is... very risky.
"Okay, sweetheart, but remember to call me very soon. I need to know about your new friend."
"Bye, Mom. Love you."
"Love you too."
She beats her mother to hang up and can't get to Karlie fast enough, scrambling out of the room and slamming her toe on the side table before hopping on the couch. Painful, but worth the extra 3 seconds of Karlie by her side, plus her cute giggling at Taylor's injury.
"Did you think up a question yet?" the singer says, eager for Karlie's turn.
"Yeah, and it's a good one," she smirks, a hint of a mischievous smile on her lips and sparkling eyes, making Taylor's pulse start pounding 10 times quicker. Karlie takes a short breath before speaking as if she's gaining some sort of extra confidence. "Who was... uh, who was the first person you've ever fallen in love with?"
Oh. Okay.
She couldn't have picked a worse question. Perfect.
That is just so damn perfect.
"Um, what?" Taylor manages to say, but that's a crap response and they both know it.
"I asked who the first person you've ever fallen in love with was," she repeats, much more slowly this time. She sounds significantly more uneasy, quickly losing her self-assured spirit and probably regretting asking this question.
"Oh, yeah, uh..." Taylor's tongue suddenly feels very out of place and dry. Should she make up a story? Create a fake teenage boy she met in high school who ended up cheating on her? Or could she fake a heart attack or some shit?
No way. She's not lying to her.
But that would mean telling the truth, as shameful and embarrassing as it may be...
"You okay?"
"Hm?" Taylor snaps back to reality and the unfortunate dilemma she's been forced into.
"You just kind of disappeared there for a sec," she explains with a breathy, uncomfortable chuckle.
"Right, sorry. Um, it's kind of a long story."
Stupid answer, but can potentially save her from telling an awful story while outing herself in the process, or maybe the excuse will help stall for a few seconds so she can get herself together.
"I've got time."
Taylor sighs at the response she was hoping not to hear. She should just tell her. It's not like Karlie's going to slap her face and storm out for something that happened years ago, right?
"I– ugh, okay. Forewarning though, you might think less of me..." Karlie nods disbelievingly at this. "...and you're also gonna learn something that you can't tell anyone. Like, I can make you sign an NDA for this if I wanted to. But I'm not, because you're my friend and you won't tell. Right?" She glances up at Karlie for confirmation. The model almost looks a tad nervous now.
"I won't tell a soul," Karlie replies with an affirmative nod despite her edgy demeanor.
Taylor really hopes she can trust her.
She inhales an unsteady breath, not entirely ready to tell this girl something only a handful of people know about. But she can't back out now. Karlie's already watching her intently, eyes filled with anticipation and curiosity, lips curled in a comforting yet uncertain smile.
"Alright, um, so I was sixteen when I met this... person but I didn't realize I was in love until I was seventeen," Taylor starts, avoiding eye contact and trying to ignore her racing heartbeat. Is she really doing this? Is she telling Karlie Kloss, a girl she's known for less than a week, about her first love that not even Lily has a clue about?
"My team hired this person to be my– uh, my fiddle player for the band. And, like, we instantly clicked and became great friends. Everything was so much more fun and... god, we did everything together. I had someone who traveled with me wherever I went and it was just good to have a friend on the road, I guess."
"That's nice," Karlie responds, intense green eyes still trained on Taylor's.
"Yeah, it was." The singer smiles at the old memories flashing through her mind like a movie. She's not one to spend her days reminiscing about the past, thinking about everything she should've done differently, but it feels nice for once to be sentimental. But she clears her throat awkwardly and continues recalling the past instead of lingering on the memories.
"We were inseparable, we were a family, it was perfect. Everything was really simple then. But then I realized I... didn't want to be best friends. I started developing feelings. But I was so confused and didn't want to screw everything up, you know?"
Karlie hums in response, then adds, "I doubt you could screw anything up though," with a cheeky grin. Taylor internally kicks herself when a blush envelops again, because now is really not the time to get all flustered.
"I think it'd shock you," the singer says back, glancing down at her feet under the blanket again. "Um, so yeah, I didn't want to mess up everything we had. It was so great and I don't think I would've forgiven myself if I'd ruined it... but I couldn't just hide my feelings. I was in love with her."
"Her?"
Taylor sharply inhales, looking at anything but Karlie's gaze burning holes on the side of her head. "Yes." She cringes when her voice cracks. A considerable amount of insufferable silence passes before the younger girl speaks.
"So... you're gay?" Karlie hesitantly asks. There's nothing sour in her voice, thank god, only pure curiosity and maybe a hint of astonishment. But to be fair, realizing that Taylor Swift is anything but straight could be a little weird– she's been dubbed a "man-eater" and other similar things after all.
Taylor swallows thickly before answering, "Uh, no. I'm bi." She just barely tilts her head to the side to see Karlie nod neutrally, donning a blank face. She doesn't know whether to be relieved or scared at the model's reaction. But what had she been hoping for? Karlie to suddenly come out too? Only in her craziest dreams, it looks like.
"That's cool," Karlie finally says, still no emotion (or anything remotely telling of her thoughts) showing.
To break up the awkward silence, the singer allows herself to lightly chuckle. "I guess, yeah. At least there's more of a selection, right?"
Karlie thankfully laughs as well, ending the painfully strained tension they both dread. Taylor breathes out a short, relieved sigh and continues her story, her voice slightly stronger.
"So, yeah, I loved her and then I found out she had feelings for me too. It was supposed to be a secret at first, mainly because I wasn't sure how my family would react, but my mom somehow found out, then the rest of my family did. They were all really accepting but told me I shouldn't tell my label and management, because who's ever heard of a queer teenage country singer?" Taylor smirks to herself.
"So you had to hide it?"
"Yeah," she answers, pursing her lips at the memory. "I did for a while, and it wasn't easy, but I couldn't let them know. Though it was really perfect for a long time, and I was so in love."
Karlie smiles charmingly at this, brightening up the whole room, and Taylor has no choice but to helplessly stare at her lips instead of talk.
But she forces herself to tear her eyes away, scolding herself, and continues. "It was great. But then... god, I was so stupid... my manager walked in on us together. I should've locked the door or something but I let it slide that one time and... yeah, he found out and told my label."
"Oh no," Karlie comments softly as if she's watching a movie.
Taylor cracks a smile, but it's bitter and lathered with regret. "So the head of my label– who will remain nameless, but you'll get an answer if you Google it–" Karle chuckles at this part "– he gave me two choices: my girlfriend would either be fired from the band and I'd have to keep everything a secret, or he would just drop me from the label."
"Oh god," Karlie puts in, seemingly shocked at the options. "That's– that's terrible. I'm so sorry."
"It gets worse," she sighs, a frown forming on her face. Here comes the hard part. "She begged me to stay with her... we were in love then... but I couldn't leave Big Machine. Not after everything I'd worked for, after all that rejection and songwriting, I didn't want to lose it. So I chose my career over her and she was kicked off."
Taylor closes her eyes for a brief moment, hoping not to view Karlie's reaction to that piece of the awful story.
"I'm sorry," the model repeats, quiet and tentative.
Taylor simply shrugs, not knowing how to respond. "I mean, it worked out for the best anyway. She went to law school, something she always wanted to do, and she's married now from what I know. So yeah. That's who I fell in love with. Her name was Emily."
Karlie quickly starts apologizing after the sentence ends. "I... Taylor, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have made you answer that if I knew you weren't comfortable–"
"Hey, it's okay," Taylor interrupts, waving her off. "You were going to find out one way or another. And we're friends, right? You should know about my deepest darkest secrets." Karlie smiles at this and thankfully halts her apology. Right now, Taylor is just glad Karlie isn't looking down on her from that story. She wouldn't want Karlie's opinion of her to change from something that happened years ago.
The rest of their night is spent finishing 20 questions and retelling old stories until they realize it's past 2 A.M. and Karlie says she really should be going home. Half of Taylor wants to ask if she could spend the night in the hotel room, but the more rational half tells herself to let Karlie go. Knowing herself, she'd probably mess everything up with some stupid comment or another accidental flirt. And she does not want to ruin her friendship with Karlie, no matter how perfect she is.
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A/N: Thanks for reading :) Comments and votes are appreciated!!!!