Joey trailed over sadly as he knocked on the door.
He felt he shouldnt be here. He didnt really know him.
But the guy was never judgemental. He was so soft spoken. Joey needed that.
Everyone thought he was a dick.
The argument with corey had plagued him.
It was just so simple to pretend Corey was a liar than believe him. Why? Why even was that? Joey didn't understand. His mom always said men couldnt be victims but as a gay man he never believed that fully. But he guessed when he had seen all the women when he occasionally went in with his mom. Corey acted nothing like that.
Joey was the worst at showing compassion at the worst of times. If he could take it back in a heart beat he so would.
He shouldnt have reacted the way he did. But hes never physically met someone like that.
He saw the women. Never met them.
He didnt know what to say.
And now.. corey was gone. he had no idea where. Corey was gone and Joey was no longer apart of slipknot.
He waited in the rain for them to awsner. It had been raining a lot over the past few days. And Joey was over it.
He missed corey so much it was starting to hurt everytime his heart beat.
He cared..he really did care. Oh why did he have to fuck everything up? Why couldnt he have just believed him.
He had a sudden thought.
And he wasnt happy in the slightest.
He was out here worried about Corey but where was Corey and what was he doing?
What if...corey was cheating?
Joey would say he deserved it, but hed still kill him.
The door slowly opened as Joey looked up at him.
"....hi?"
"Hi.."
"Uh..." he placed a hand behind the back of his neck "what are you doing here?"
"I needed to talk to someone...I've been so lonely. Everyone hates me. I hate me. I shouldn't have said what I did...I regret It every waking moment." Joey said "and you've always been so kind and non judgemental so i thought I'd come talk to you."
"You...you cant come in..."
Joey frowned "why not?"
"Oh...uh...my dog."
"Itll be fine." Joey said stepping forward and into the house.
"Seriously you dont want to come in." He warned
"I do." Joey said looking down the hall "can I sit In the living room?"
"Well Steve's in there and I-"
"Come on. I'll be nice." Joey smiled walking in
His eyes trailed to the dog as he faked a smile. He still hated dogs. But hed try.
He looked up and he sighed as he sat down.
There was bedding on the sofa which Joey thought was werid.
But he shrugged it off. Jim was allowed one night stands. Sluts and whores who had nothing better to do in Joey's opinion anyway.
Then again he used to live with one and Joey wouldn't say corey was like that. But hell it stung knowing corey had, had so much more sex than he ever did. So much.
His boyfriend, had been fucking people since the age of eleven starting with in Corey's words his fit baby sitter. And holy shit Joey was jealous. He had to wait until he was seventeen to fuck someone. And it wasnt al that great. He wasnt attracted to girls. And after he blew his load In a few he was done. And so he left. It wasnt until he slept with a guy he thought sex was brilliant.
Sex with Corey had been amazing. It was raw, passionate, full of love, but also care. Joey was in high bliss and it ment everything.
But he had lost it.
Joey watched him nervously sit on the sofa. Looking behind him and out the door.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing..."
"Look I know about your one night stand so if she is still here dont worry about it. I'm not judging." Joey said
"Uh..." he raised an eyebrow.
Joey smiled softly "sorry to be a pain but can I have sone coffee."
"Hey jim have you seen-"
Joey gasped as he walked in.
He had been here all along?
Jim went red slowly.
Corey looked less than happy.
"What are you doing here?" Corey asked
"I." Joey felt a little anger rise in him "I could ask you the same thing."
"Fine." Corey said "I'm here because someone I fucking trusted broke my heart. And i didnt want to be in the same room as them. Does the answer your question?"
Joey looked down "yeah...I suppose it does."
"Now what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted some company." Joey said "considering everyone hates me because of you." Joey suddenly snapped.
"Woah woah woah?" Corey said "because of me..what have I done?"
Joey glared "because of what I accidentally responded to you with everyone hates me."
Corey was silent until suddenly it dawned upon him "wait a minute. They wouldnt hate you...unless you told them! Joey dont tell me. Do not tell me you told everyone about the argument. Dont tell me what you told everyone the argument was about..."
"I...well I did...I was pissed corey what do you expect me to do?"
Corey felt his eyes well with tears as he bit his lip "so....so now everyone knows. Everyone knows I'm this pathetic dirty slut. Everyone knows I'm a whore? Is that what you're telling me?"
Joey blinked in suprise
"Corey...youre none of those things." Jim said
Joey felt a pit of jealously as he looked between them.
"I fucking cant believe you!" Corey yelled.
"Well it's not my fault you came here to sleep with jim!"
Corey stared at him "sleep with him what?"
"Do you love him more than me?"
Corey looked at jim as Jim stared back up at him. Both confused.
"I'm allowed friends Joey? I'm allowed them! I'm a free living person..I'm allowed friends. You...you cant try say that. I could ask the same thing about paul." Corey blinked "are you trying to say I'm a slut?"
"Yeah well you being friends with jim makes me uncomfortable." Joey looked down "and I guess so."
"I don't give a single shit." Corey hissed
Joey blinked in suprise.
"You cant control me Joey. You cant say me having friends makes you uncomfortable. When you called me a liar. Week. Said I deserved it. Dont you know how that feels. That's what everyone tells me. I used to believe it. I was a fucking ten year old joey. A ten year old child. He was sixteen. Much stronger. Much smarter. Way more aggressive. Joey he tried to fucking kill me." Corey sniffed "he tried to fucking kill me. And you looked me in the eyes said if I really was in that situation I should have fought him off. Do you not realise that equates to you deserved it?"
"I wasnt trying to upset you...I just was telling a truth. I guess..."
"You still believe it's my fault?" Corey said biting his nails "that I deserve it?"
"No I dont i-"
"Fuck you. Fuck you!" Corey yelled "fuck you!!"
Joey flinched
Corey felt extremely angry. He couldnt believe him.
"Just go away Joey." Corey snapped "go away! You're such a cunt!"
Joey felt his heart chip..it was such a harsh word. Why? He wasnt that! He felt the tears spill out his eyes and roll down his face.
That was way to harsh.
"Why are you crying?" Corey asked
"That hurt!" Joey said "that really fucking hurt why are you surprised?"
Corey let out a angry scream which even scared jim.
"Corey?" Jim asked softly
"I." He screamed again "I'm fucking leaving."
"Corey no please." Jim asked
"Fuck it!"
He walked out and moments later they heard the door slam.
Jim sighed
"Why does he get to cry but I cant?!" Joey complained
"I think...to him." Jim sighed "you were suprised when he cried when you said that what happened was his fault. And you didnt believe him. He called you one word out of frustration and you cried and told him it hurt. Has it ever consider to you. That's how he felt?"
Joey looked down "I...i guess not.. "
"Look. Joey I know you love him. I do. I can see that. But hes, well hes hurting." Jim sighed "what you said. It bought back a lot to him. Hes been struggling. Hes had a lot of flashbacks. It hasnt been nice to watch. Hes angry. Yes. But deep down hes reall really hurt."
Joey bit his lip
"He told me that what you said...was the same thing his mother did. And I'm aware they dont have the best relationship. You killed him."
"I dont know why I said what I did...I guess I thought I was going off what I know. By denying him I thought we could brush It under the carpet ignore it. I dont know how to make it better. I cant recommend my mom. She doesnt believe in male victims."
Jim cringed.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah.." Jim sighed "it's what your mother said. That's. That's quite untrue."
Joey didn't know why he felt he had to ask It but he did. "Have you ever been in that situation?"
"Almost." Jim eventually replied.
"I'm so sorry to hear that." Joey nodded "that must have been hard."
Jim blinked in shock. "Why are you saying this to me?"
"Because it's true?"
"But you didnt say it to corey?"
"I know."
"I think that's low Joey."
"I know." Joey sighed "everyone does."
Jim nodded "as they should."
"Okay. Jesus." Joey snapped
"I think-"
"I dont get why he has to be so overdramtic though. He was so rude to me for being here. I didnt even do anything. Its been a week. I feel awful and so apologetic. But hes choosing to hold on to it and drag it out. I love him. Its hurting me..I'm hurting." Joey ranted
"I appreciate that Joey.. it would hurt. I'm glad it does it shows you really do care for him."
Joey glared at jim but didnt say what he wanted to.
"But hes hurt to."
"So? Hes not even trying to make it better at this point. Hes to blinded by his anger to see I'm really sorry."
"You havent even said sorry. You never acted it."
"I...still I never came here to fight."
"He wont see it that way."
"Jim! Stop acting like you know my boyfriend better than me!"
"He tried to kill himself because of you!" Jim yelled
Joey's eyes went wide as he felt his heart drop quickly.
"W-what?"
"A few days ago. He got back from the hospital yesterday. He chased down a bunch of pills with a bottle of vodka."
"I...why?" Joey felt his eyes well up with tears again.
"Because of you. that's how much you've hurt him. He somehow still loves you. But you've hurt him servely. So severely he tried to take his life. And the first thing you are to him is so aggressive. No wonder he fucking left."
Joey sobbed "no. I. Corey.."
"Itll be okay Joey. He might forgive you. But you better work on actually acting like you care instead of being aggressive."
"He was too!"
"I know." Jim said. " i know."
"I just wish he were here now. Forgiven me. In my arms where I could tell him. Hes so amazing. And how I should have treated him right. God i still love him so much."
Jim nodded "i think he loves you too. He just needs to hurt a little more before he can see that."
"But I want him to see that now."
"Hes sensitive. It wouldnt work. Not like it may normally."
Joey sighed "I'm so pathetic."
"You made a big mistake." Jim sighed "but it's still a mistake."
Joey blinked "you're one of the first people. Who hasnt treated me like a big dick for this."
"You are a dick." jim smiled "but look. I appreciate it was a mistake. I can see you still care. But Joey, Corey wont. Not for a while and not until you actually try and apolgies."
"I.." joey thought "can I have some paper and a pen?"
Jim raised an eyebrow yet got it for him.
"Thank you." Joey nodded as he began to write.
"I'll leave you to it." Jim smiled awkwardly as he walked out.