darkness. everything was dark. where am i? i looked around me, but was unable to move. everything was dark. i began to feel rising panic build up in my chest, i felt trapped. i tried to scream for help, but no words came out. suddenly, i felt someone grasp my arm. it hurt, so bad, however i still couldn't move, or say anything. all i felt was pain, and i couldn't escape.
*buzz*
my phone alarm went off beside me, startling me awake. i could actually breathe and move again. i sat and stared at the ceiling, then looked around. i was in a room? oh right! it's my new room. last thing i could remember was lion king with someone. with clay. shoot! did he have to carry me to my room when i fell asleep? my face felt hot with embarrassment at the thought. i'm so heavy oh no. i pulled myself out of bed reluctantly, i had to go shopping for myself today. it seemed abnormally dark for being 9 am. i checked out my big window, and saw heavy gray clouds hanging over us. it was probably going to be a stormy day.
i loved rain, always made me feel at peace with the world. it wasn't so blindingly bright, but it also wasn't dark. it was a perfect, peaceful gray, water pattering the windows along with it. i thought about my dream. i guess i shouldn't call it a dream, it seemed more like a nightmare. the arm that grabbed me scared me. i still felt shook up, and gently touched my arm where i was grabbed in my nightmare. i took a deep breath and decided to get on with my day. i was probably overthinking it, i needed to get moving and grab something to eat.
i tiptoed out my room, trying to be as quiet as possible in case clay was still asleep, however as soon as i stepped into the kitchen i was struck with the fragrant, cozy smell of bacon. there he was, his back turned to me over the stove, humming while he stirred together bacon and eggs. i sat there for a moment, smiling. he was so adorable. wait, what? i shook my head and cleared my throat, "AYE!" i yelled, walking out, up to the counter. he jumped, and turned to me, "y/n you're awakee!!" he laughed, turning off the stove and carrying the pan to the counter. "i made food, i hope you like bacon and eggs." he told me, ignoring the fact that i just made him startle. "of course i do, oh my gosh." i breathed in the smell of the breakfast, reaching for a clean plate. "yo clay," i paused, looking up at him, "did i fall asleep last night during the movie?" he chuckled, and smirked at me with a nod. "and you said you loveeeedd the lion king." he teased, sitting down next to me with a plate. i rolled my eyes at him, stuffing a forkful of breakfast into my mouth. "i do!" i argued, punching his arm. he chuckled, punching my arm back, it was such a gentle, playful punch, however i gasped and flinched. i immediately was brought back to my nightmare, the cold, harsh grasping of my arm, me being unable to scream or move.
clay's pov:
i laughed, playfully punching y/n back. though, she flinched harshly, fear striking through face. oh god, i hurt her! i could be such a clutz. i need to be more careful, i can't believe i just hurt her. "hey.." i said softly, with a worried look. she looked frozen, it was scary. i didn't ever want to do that to her, i couldn't believe myself. "y/n i'm so so sorry, is it okay? oh my gosh i'm so sorry." i stared at her. she blinked and shook her head, as though she just came back to reality. "what? oh.. no clay i'm sorry you didn't hurt me i uh.." her voice was shaky. did something happen? trauma? i didn't understand it. "i had a bad dream last night that's all, i'm just a bit touchy, haha." she shrugged, casually taking another bite of food. "are you sure you're okay?" i looked at her. i didn't want to be inviting people to live with me, and beating them up the day after they settle in.
y/n's pov:
i felt horrible. he sat there taking slow bites of his breakfast, eyeing me to check if i was still okay. i didn't mean for that to happen, i don't understand how it happened. it was literally just a touch on my arm and i was sent back to the memories of my nightmare. i sighed, i wasn't hungry anymore. i stood up and put my plate in the sink, by now, rain was sprinkling lightly on the windows. i smiled, i hoped it would pour. "hey clay," i called with my back turned from him, looking out the window. "i'm going to head to the store today, do you need anything?" i could hear him put his plate into the sink behind me, "no i think i'm good. but be careful out there, it's probably going to start raining soon." i smiled. he was so sweet.. i turned around and headed to my room to change, "alright i will." i headed to my room, slipping on dark sweatpants and a dark green crewneck, grabbed my keys, and headed out.
3:00 PM
i sighed. my legs hurt, i had 3 bags full of clothes, and one tiny bag with a few good smelling candles. the shopping day seemed pretty successful, i now had a good enough amount of clothes to wear. by now, it was raining pretty hard. i absolutely loved it, i was at an outdoor mall, therefore i had to go out in the rain to get from store to store, however i didn't mind. ever since i was little, i loved the rain; i would go out and run in it with just a tank top and shorts, it gave me energy. i walked briskly towards my car, not wanting to get my new clothes wet. i was halfway there when i came to an abrupt stop. what the hell? there he stood, the biggest regret of my life. what is he doing here? how does he know i'm here? he probably didn't, but he knew what my car looked like. he must've seen me standing there staring at him, because he stood up from leaning on my car, and turned facing me. i clenched my fist around my bags, and walked straight up to him. "mike what the hell are you doing here?" i burst out, my voice was like and shaky but i didn't care. he smirked at me and took a step closer to me, "glad to see me aye?" he said in his stupid menacing voice. i ignored him, and pushed aside. "get off my car." i muttered, trying to pull open my door. he grabbed my wrist, "that's not a very nice greeting." he said in his soft 'sweet' voice.
"i don't want to talk to you. why are you even here?" i said, trying to act unbothered, but my palms started to sweat, and i kept eyeing the grasp he had on my wrist. "just shopping like you, beautiful." he breathed with a grin, leaning closer to me. i was done with this. i stomped on his foot, alarming him and making him release his grip. "hey!" he barked, but i swung open my door and jumped in as fast as i could. "leave me alone or i swear to god mike i will call the cops on you!" i said at practically a scream. he held his hands up and laughed, turning away. my throat burned. my hands were shaking. he finally left out of eyesight. i got him to leave. i took a deep shaky breath, i felt like bawling. i couldn't though, i had to be strong. i turned on the car and drove quickly back to the apartment.
i finally got home, and just parked and sat there. my throat burned with emotion the entire time, by now, i finally started to feel the pain in my wrist. he really did have a hold of me, i was too focused on the moment though, that i didn't even realize how tight it was. i looked down and stared at my red arm. i finally couldn't help but cry. why do bad things always happen to me? this was a good cry, i don't know if it was the music playing, or the calming rain pattering, but it felt so nice to finally let some sort of emotion out.
*ding*
(text from clay) "hey, you on your way? i'm making macaroniiii!!!!!!!!!!!"
i laughed through the tears, and responded honestly.
"yeah, actually i'm in the parking lot lol. something happened at the store, i'll be in in a bit.."
i hope that didn't scare him. he seemed to care a lot for my safety.. it felt nice. especially because he hasn't even known me for long. he was a kind guy. he started typing, but then stopped. "arcade" started playing on the radio. my favorite song. the parking lot was pretty empty, it was nice to sit here having it to myself just with rain pattering on my window. suddenly i saw the tall, blonde-haired man pop out of nowhere. oh god, of course. i quickly wiped my face, and cleared my throat; my eyes were still red and puffy.
"what happened?" he called out to me as i opened my door, i didn't turn off my car, i loved this song i wanted to get through it. i waited for him to get up to me before explaining everything. i've learned that honesty is the best, most of the time. but this time, i really just wanted him to know. i wanted him to know about my past with my ex, mike, and the impact it has had on me. i don't know if it was exactly an abusive relationship.. i hated that word. abusive. but he was very over-controlling, and touchy. i did get out of it, but he appears every once in a while, acting as if we were still "in love." clay listened to every word of my story eagerly, nodding with the sweetest concern in his eyes. when i finished, i wiped my eyes again. it was good to get all of that off my chest, i haven't told many people about it. without a word, he held out his hand, which i took willingly.
he pulled me out into the rain gently, my mood was immediately lifted when i felt the cold drops hit my skin. "i love this song, do you mind?" he asked, reaching in to turn it up. i nodded for him to go ahead. he turned back towards me with a smile. he took my hand and spun me, laughing. "dancing lifts the mood." he said with the purest smile. we bounced around and sang stupidly in the rain, all the bad weight from the day lifted from my shoulders, i felt so happy now. it was so cliche, but being right here in the moment, just dancing in the rain to my favorite song, with someone who cared about me felt perfect. a perfect moment.
he pulled me into a hug, and we sat there as the song ended. we were soaked to the core, dripping, and should've been freezing, but i felt warm right there. he pulled away with a smile, turning off the car for me. "now are you hungry because i literally have a whole pot of mac n cheese waiting and i don't normally eat that much by myself." i laughed, and followed him inside with my bags.