CHAPTER SIX │ NIGHTMARE
SCARLETT DEL GATO
My eyelids felt heavy tonight but despite the exhaustion I felt from not sleeping a lot in the last couple of days, I couldn’t get myself to actually close my eyes. My eyes kept shutting involuntary, though, even when I didn’t want them to.
I didn’t want to risk falling asleep. Not while they were in this house with me.
I was in the same environment as the same people who murdered my brother and I didn’t trust Giovanni one bit. He won’t hesitate to kill me in my sleep as soon as I drift off, so I kept them wide open, slapping myself awake every so often to keep myself from actually drifting off to sleep.
When I glanced at myself in the full-length mirror the other day in the bathroom, my eyes were red-rimmed and I had dark bags underneath my eyes.
The thick comforter was draped over my chest and the rest of my body and it rested right underneath my chin to keep me warm inside the numbingly cold room. As I was laying in the bed, I stared at the ceiling fan and the blades as they kept going around and around in circles, but it was a mistake, because once I focused on the blades going around in circles, my eyelids started to flutter, and then they closed.
The fight to stay awake was lost and I felt myself being pulled into the darkness.
• • •
“Please.” I pleaded. I don’t know who I was pleading to, but I pleaded nonetheless. “Please don’t shoot him.”
There was a dark figuring looming over my brother’s bloodied and bruised up frame. He was leaning in the stool, trying to keep himself upright but at the same time trying hard not to totter over.
The dark figure didn’t turn around when he started to speak.
“Take her to her room. We don’t want her to see this, now do we?”
Someone snaked their hands around my body and caged me inside their arms as I was being pulled out of the kitchen.
I tried to grab hold of the wall, but my fingers barely grazed it and I stopped trying to escape the figure who had their arms wrapped around my torso.
It was a lost cause.
I let the figure drag me away.
I should’ve fought harder to stay in the kitchen.
I should’ve helped my brother, but the figure and his grip were too strong.
The figure kept me in place. I could barely move. I could barely breathe.
I looked down at the arm around my torso and saw a white pistol tattooed onto the figure’s his wrist. The figure must’ve seen me looking at the tattoo, because his grip around my torso started to tighten. I couldn’t breathe, but the more I think about it, the more I started to realise that I was being choked—my lungs couldn’t get any air and every time I exhaled, the figure’s grip tightened. It was like a snake had wrapped its body around mine, and the grip kept tightening.
A gunshot goes off.
I realise my brother is dead.
And they were going to kill me too.
• • •
I jolt awake to the sound of rain pitter-pattering against the window of my room. The leaves were rustling when a breeze fluttered through them.
But that wasn’t the only thing I noticed when I woke up. I was struggling to breathe. Thinking it was just the comforter suffocating me, I pull it off, but my hand brushes over my pair of jeans instead. The comforter was lying on the floor right beside my bed. There was nothing trying to suffocate me. It was me.
I was having a panic attack.
I catapult out of bed and stumble toward the door, feeling my lungs squeeze with effort into trying to get air into them. Swinging the door open, I feel tears brim my eyes as my own breathing became more and more difficult by the second.
My chest feels tight. My mouth was dry. My limbs were numb. Black dots started to cloud my vision, but that didn’t stop me from stumbling like a drunken person down the hallway to find someone who can help me.
I knock on the first door I find.
I knock again when no one answered the first time.
I try to inhale deeply, but no air enters my lungs.
My heart was beating rapidly and it felt as if my legs wanted to give in.
Please. Open the door. Please.
I knock again but right before my fist connected with the wooden door, the door flies open and Giovanni who looked tired and angry at the same time locks eyes with me.
I tap my chest repeatedly. “I. Can’t. Breathe.” I say in between uneven breaths.
My legs finally gave out and all I could remember was that the darkness won.
GIOVANNI CASTIGLIONE
My desk was covered with unusual supplies—from a phone, pens without caps, a coffee mug filled with coffee to the rim, and ornaments that didn’t really have any value, they were just resting on my desk to give it a homey feeling.
Spotting the steaming hot cup of coffee I almost forgot about, I reach my hand out toward it and take it into my hand. I lift the mug to my lips to take a sip but a knock at my door startled me, making me spill coffee onto the papers I had lying on my desk.
I curse under my breath and set the cup of coffee down.
I wipe my hand against my black pants.
I wanted to grab a tissue from the tissue box to wipe the coffee from the papers even though it was already ruined with black coffee stains, but a knock at my door makes me curse under my breath yet again.
I rise from my chair, making my way to the door.
I fling the door open and see Scarlett in front of me.
Her eyes were red from crying and her hand was shaking at her side.
“I. Can’t. Breathe.” She says in between breaths.
Before I could respond, her legs give out from underneath her.
I catch her just in time before she could fall to the floor and I scoop her up into my arms. I stomp down the hall, calling out to Kallie despite it being late at night. She was still here though, I just don’t know where she was. “Kallie!” I call out again, seeing her rushing out of the infirmary, looking alarmed.
“What happened, Mr Castiglione?” She asks, looking at me with a frown between her eyebrows. Of course she blamed me.
“She said she couldn’t breathe.” I tell her. “I don’t know what happened to her.”
Kallie looks at me like she doesn’t believe me, but she steps out of the way so that I could enter the infirmary.
I carry Scarlett to the bed and set her down gently onto it. Her hair tumbles over the plain white pillow, smelling like coconuts and a hint of strawberries.
Kallie pushes me out of the way so she could tend to her, but I decided to let it go. Scarlett needed her help and if Kallie don’t manage to help her, Vito might gut me down and he will blame me for this if Scarlett doesn’t make it out alive.
Kallie places an oxygen mask over Scarlett’s face.
I waited in anticipation for Scarlett to breathe again.
I started to panic when Scarlett’s chest didn’t rise, but after a few excruciating seconds, her breathing was back to normal. Well, it looked normal from my point of view, at least. She had air in her lungs and that’s all that mattered.
Kallie turns to look at me. She looked at me like I was about to get reprimanded. “She will be fine, Mr Castiglione.” She says, looking over at Scarlett’s sleeping figure before she looked at me again. “She had a panic attack.”
“A panic attack?”
“Yes.” Kallie says, nodding. “But stressing her out isn’t going to help her condition so try not to be so… rude… around her, Mr Castiglione.”
Kallie walks over to the sink, opening the tap so she could wash her hands. “I understand that this situation is out of your control, but keeping her here isn’t going to help. You need to let her go, Mr Castiglione.” She says, looking at me over her shoulder.
I nod once, looking at the pale white walls around me. Kallie had a point, but there was no way I was going to let Scarlett go. I was going to keep her here until I can figure out what to do with her. But letting her leave wasn’t an option.
“But she’s fine though right?” I ask Kallie, looking at her.
Kallie nods, but her lips were set in a tight and firm line. “But she won’t be if this keeps up, Mr Castiglione.” She says, jerking her toward Scarlett who stirred a bit but didn’t wake up to the sound of our voices. “What would’ve happened if you didn’t find her, Mr Castiglione? Her condition could have been worse.”
I tasted something bitter in my mouth and I didn’t know if it was because Scarlett really could’ve died tonight if she didn’t knock on my office door or if it was the smell of bitter antiseptic and hand sanitizer around me.
I swallow hard, raking my fingers through my hair. My hair was completely damp and I felt a prickle of sweat running down my forehead. Was I really that worried to have realised that Scarlett could have died today, and not by my hands this time?
“Mr Castiglione.” Kallie interrupts my thoughts.
I shake my head, focusing on her. “Yes?”
“Why do you care so much about this girl?” She asks me.
“What do you mean?” I chuckle humourlessly. “I don’t care about her.”
Kallie looks at me like she doesn’t believe me.
I had to look away, afraid she might’ve read my thoughts or something. I picked a piece of lint from my sleeve, anything to avoid Kallie’s piercing gaze.
“If you didn’t care about her, why did you bring her here to get help, Mr Castiglione?”
“She couldn’t breathe, Kallie.” I tell her, flicking the lint I picked from my sleeve away. “What should I have done? Left her in the hallway while she struggled to breathe? I’m not fucking heartless, Kallie. I might be an asshole, but I still have a heart in this ribcage of mine.”
Woah.
What the actual fuck?
“I repeat, keeping her here isn’t going to help, Mr Castiglione.” She says, looking at me through her thin eyelashes. “Just let her go before you’re going to be the death of her.”
I rub my eyes with the base of my palms, feeling a pulsating headache starting to evolve inside my head. “I can’t let her go, Kallie. She knows too much.”
She steps closer to me and places her hand on my shoulder—the hand that always used to stitch me up when I would end up in this room. “I know you’re not heartless. I’ve known you since you were a little boy.” She says, smiling at me, but it disappears just as quickly as it came. “But your father is going to kill her when he finds out about her. You know that just as much as I do.”
I couldn’t say a thing to her because what she said was true. My father was going to kill her himself if he finds out that she was related to Antonio—my friend who betrayed me. He’s not going to kill her just because she’s related to him, he’s going to kill her because she knows too much, because she is a danger to us now if she opens her mouth.
I taste the bitterness again and realise that it was because I started to worry for her. I know I despise her, but in the end what Vito said was right: she was a harmless girl, and if my dad gets his hands on her…she’ll be a dead one.
Kallie pats my shoulder. “Make the right choice, Mr Castiglione.”
With that, Kallie leaves me alone in the infirmary with Scarlett.
She looked just like him in every way. She had the same brown hair as him. She had the same smile. Her eyelashes were long, caressing her cheek when it fluttered as she dreamt. Her cheekbones were thin and she had a dusting of freckles on her cheeks. She looked just like him. She looked like Antonio.
If she looked like him, why couldn’t I bring myself to pull the trigger?
It felt as if though the phone resting in my hand weighed a million ton. I scanned the picture on my phone, squeezing my phone until my knuckles turned white against it. Traitor. My mind screamed. Betrayer.
Looking at Scarlett lying on the infirmary bed only made me think about him tonight. I was supposed to be asleep already seeing that the clock was nearing twelve, but I went to my office instead and now I’m sitting here, looking at the picture on my phone. Of him. Antonio. My best friend who betrayed me.
I scoff at the thought. A best friend would never betray his friend, but Antonio did and it made me question if he really saw me as a brother to him. It made me question his loyalty, but he made the word meaningless.
He betrayed me.
I took him in when his parents died all those years ago. I took care of him like he was my own brother, but he didn’t miss the chance to turn against me like he was one of my enemies. He misused our oath. He made everything we stood for, meaningless.
I scoff. I should’ve known there was a snake in the grass when it came to trusting people, especially someone like Antonio. He saw a chance to stab me in the back and he didn’t hesitate to take it.
I open my drawer, throwing my phone inside of it after I turned my phone off. I shook my head, feeling my nose flaring and my hands clenching into fists.
Mikael rushes into my office, panting.
“What is it?” I ask him, swiping my hand across my face.
“It’s the girl, Boss.” He says through uneven breaths.
I rise from my seat in a matter of seconds, following him to the infirmary.
When I enter the imfirmary, Scarlett was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed. She was clearly fine and definitely not on the verge of dying like I thought she was when Mikael came rushing into my office.
I turn to look at him, anger washing over my features. “What about the girl, Mikael?”
Mikael was still a panting mess, but he managed to jerk his head toward Scarlett again.
I release a breath, looking at Scarlett again, or more so, examining her.
Right when I wanted to ask him what was wrong with her, I spotted a bottle of open pills in Scarlett’s hand. She looked about ready to swallow it all.
“I’ll handle this.” I tell Mikael without looking at him. I had my gaze locked on the bottle of pills inside Scarlett’s hand. “You can leave now and close the door behind you, please.”
Mikael bows down, walking out of the room before he leaves the infirmary.
The door clicks shut behind him.
That’s when I rushed to her side.
As I was standing over Scarlett, she didn’t even notice me. She was looking directly in front of her, at the painting mounted to the wall above. Her cheeks were tear-stained and more tears filled her eyes as the seconds passed. Her hand was shaking as she held onto the bottle of pills.
I crouch down to the floor beside her.
“I have nothing left in this world.” She says, still not looking at me. “You took everything from me.”
A tear runs down her cheeks and she tilts her head backward so she was staring at the ceiling above her. She lifts the bottle of pills to her lips but before she could tilt the bottle of pills into her mouth, I grab it out of her grasp.
I see the cap of the bottle and twisted it shut.
I hide the bottle of pills behind my back, out of her reach, so she won’t try to swallow them again. She has to go through me, literally, to get to the pills.
She drops her chin, looking at the floor now. “I thought you wanted me dead.” She says, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “Wouldn’t this have been easier for you? I would kill myself and then you wouldn’t have any blood on your hands.”
I gritted my teeth so hard, my jaw started to ache. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Yes, I might’ve lost my temper a few times but would I really have killed her if I got the chance? She was just a girl and I wouldn’t have hurt her. I also threatened her a few times, but I wouldn’t have physically harmed her.
I would never admit it, but when I pulled my gun on her back at her house a few days ago, I didn’t think about shooting her. I was angry that Antonio betrayed me, but I wasn’t that angry to have hurt her too. Like I told Kallie, I was an asshole—no doubt—but I wasn’t heartless.
“You should’ve pulled the trigger.” Scarlett says, inhaling deeply.
She closes her eyes as more tears run down her already tear-stained cheeks.
“If I wanted you dead, you would’ve already been dead.”
“Is keeping me alive some sort of punishment towards me?” She asks, swiping her hand across her face angrily. “Are you keeping me here because you want me to be reminded of my brother?”
I open my mouth to say something, but she beats me to it again.
“Because every time I see your face, I see his face, but not like I used to see his face. I see his bloodied and bruised face. I don’t see his gentle smile or his caring eyes anymore. I see them filled with tears and his smile turned into this painful one.”
I swallow hard, falling into a sitting position beside her.
“When I sleep, I am reminded of his last moments before you took him away from me. When I look at you, I see his bloodied and bruised face. When I look at you, I see your remorseless face as I begged you over and over again to let him go.”
A pained looked marred my face, because every time I look at her, I see him too, but I remember the good times we had before he betrayed me.
Now she was looking at me, her green eyes just like his filled with unshed tears. “Did you even feel anything when you pulled the trigger? Did you feel anything at all?”
I don’t answer her. I couldn’t because I did feel something when I pulled the trigger. I know I hesitated, but I pulled the trigger anyways. My hands were shaking and I remember squeezing the trigger and then a gunshot went off right after. I felt everything. I felt the pain. I felt the pain of losing a brother.
“Don’t worry.” She says before I could say something. “I know you felt something. You’re just too proud to admit it. I just wanted to see if you would admit it. I just want you to understand why you did what you did.”
“Understand this,” I start, “my best friend betrayed me. He broke our oath. And not only did he break our oath, he also broke my loyalty.”
She turns to the front again, avoiding my icy gaze.
“But to answer your question, I didn’t feel a damn thing when I pulled the trigger. I killed him like I would’ve killed anyone else: without remorse and without regret.”
I rise from my seating position, taking the bottle of pills with me.
“Liar.” She mutters under her breath.
I leave the room.
I spot Kallie in the hallway and I beckon for her to come over. When she was standing in front of me, I hand her the bottle of pills Scarlett tried to swallow a few minutes ago.
“She tried to swallow these.” I tell her. “Sedate her please. She keeps complaining about headaches. She needs a good night’s sleep.”
Kallie nods once. “Yes, Mr Castiglione.”