Chapter 33
[Harry's POV] *surprise*
Stained my shirt this morning with my breakfast burrito. Obviously, as stubborn as I fucking am, I haven't brought enough shirts to change many times during the day and now I'm stuck with a bright red stain on my white shirt. What I don't understand is that Zayn always brings his Tide-To-Go and the only time anyone of us would need to borrow it, he doesn't have it. Guys don't usually use that kind of shit and I've always wondered why he had it. Now I know why. Great.
Louis glares at me when he sees me picking at the stain again, my finger covered in saliva trying to at least rub the excess sauce. Not only is there a massive wet spot on the shirt, but the sauce spread even more. Fucking great.
It's already been five days and I'm running out of clothes. My trousers smell and my shirts are all stained or wrinkled. The crew brought us to a restaurant last night so I wore my nice button down shirt; just as I sat at the table, one bottom popped and half an hour through the meal, I dropped ketchup on it. If it hadn't been for the restrooms to have great soap, I would've looked like an idiot with pictures of me with a stain on my shirt all over the internet. I'm happy Elena can't go online, she'd rub it in my face and tell me Lou was right, and she'd laugh. I love it when she laughs.
I left post-its in the house for her to find. Some of them have clues on where to find the others, and some only have sweet little words for her to smile in the morning. Hopefully she didn't find them all in one day, then my plan would be fucked. I made some harder to find to keep her busy, there must be around a hundred around the entire house. When Lou let her phone me yesterday, she didn't mention them. I figured she was embarrassed or shy in front of Lou to talk about what some of the papers said. I would be too, having to read out loud how much I want to fuck her. And sadly, I haven't been able to make it to the house once.
Lou did say Elena look tired. She told me that she was eating properly since the fridge was almost empty when she went, but she said her skin was pale and she had these bags under her eyes. I have matching bags caused by the lack of sleep and the worry. I keep telling myself that she's fine, but I wish I could talk to her more often. Zayn confirmed Lou's statement about Elena's physical state; he'd gone to see her once and I wanted to kill him for it. I managed to push my jealousy aside and ask him if she mentioned me at all, which she did, and I was happy about it.
The studio is small and we sit on sofas while someone records and we give our approval or disapproval. We don't get to decide much but if none of us like something, we can decide against it. While Zayn is recording a part, Louis and I wait patiently on the sofa. Liam and Niall have gone back to the hotel since they're done for the night. I still have a chorus to record. Over the last few days, I got a new tattoo that says 'E' on my upper arm amongst all the other tattoos. The writing is an old font that I picked on the internet and I can't wait for Elena to see it. Hopefully she'll be as thrilled am.
Louis glares at me again when I take out my phone. Every time I feel it vibrate, I think it's her sending me a message. Then I remember that it will never be her and that I'll have to learn to live with her being so far away without any contact whatsoever. How the fuck am I going to live without knowing if she's fine every second of the day?
"Mate, you're whipped," Louis hisses as he shakes his head disapprovingly.
My eyes widen at his statement, though I know it's sort of true. But I would never admit that. "Excuse me?"
He barks a bitter chuckle and looks away from me, shaking his head once more. "You're falling for her, aren't you?"
Louis is my best mate. He's been there through my ups and downs and has dealt with my worst behaviours, but even if we've been through so much together, I'm not ready to admit to him that I'm falling in love with the person he hates the most right now. "Fuck off, mate. You've got no clue what you're talking about."
"Then please, Haz, enlighten me." Clenching my jaw, I look around to make sure that our conversation hasn't been attracting everyone's attention, but Louis just goes on. "I warned you, mate. I told you not to fall for that bird."
"She ain't just a bird," I snap, getting up and running my hands through my hair. The music director turns around from his seat but I ignore him. "Can we please not have this conversation here?"
Louis angrily gets off the couch, pushing the cushions off of it at the same time, and storms out of the room. I hadn't planned on having this conversation with him now. When I told him not to have it here, I thought he'd at least wait until tonight. I follow him outside the studio and into the living room/lobby area of the building, which is decorated like a very cozy living room. Since we spend full days here, and most artists do as well, there's a television with videogames, a kitchen, a living room, just to make us feel at home. Louis is already sat on the leather couch with his legs shaking angrily.
I don't want to lie to him and tell him I have no feelings for Elena. Because truth is, I do. But he doesn't have to know how deep I've fallen for her and how much it hurts to be so far away. He'd pull out the tour card, saying that in six weeks we'd be off to different places and countries around the world and I wouldn't see her. He'd force me to choose between letting her go or leaving her in the house, and even though I said before that I'd take her on tour with us like Eleanor and Danielle do, he wouldn't even consider it.
Pacing back and forth in the middle of the room, I wait for him to speak first but he never does. One of us has to, so I do. "What are you a complete wanker to her anyway?"
His bitter laugh is starting to fucking piss me off. I'd love to clutch him from the collar and throw a punch in his face but I would never forgive myself for it, so I walk in circles a little faster to ease off. "She's ruining our fucking career, mate. She's gonna ruin everything and you're blinded. Can't even stop checking your phone every minute even if you know perfectly she won't be texting you anytime soon."
He's right. I wish I could trust her enough to give her a phone, just so I could get in touch with her once in a while and tell her how much I miss her, and see if she's fine. I had been strict with her in Holmes Chapel, I had to give her a lesson. However, she hadn't run away. I'd left her all night free in the woods and she'd stayed with me. I couldn't just ignore that.
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Chapter end notes:
Surprise, surprise what do you think Will happen?
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