{ A song has been linked above to make thing's much worse for yourself (: }
"Are you sure you want me to drive?" Kenma asked, holding up the keys to Kuroo's car, other hand on his hip. Kenma driving was a rarity, he hadn't even bothered to buy a car at any point, opting to catch a train wherever he needed to go, or ask Kuroo to drive him if he could. Kuroo enjoyed driving, or at least, always claimed to. That was what made the occurrence of Kuroo asking Kenma to drive so strange.
Kuroo opened the door of the passenger side. "Since it is my birthday, I make the rules. You're driving." He stuck out his tongue at Kenma in a mature conclusion, and got into the car, placing their picnic basket onto his lap, closing the door before Kenma had a chance to question the erratic behaviour.
Shaking his head, Kenma got into the driver's seat, and turned on the ignition. "Don't make fun of my driving." Sure, Kenma wasn't Japan's greatest driver, but Kenma was sure that he wasn't as bad as Kuroo often exaggerated. It just wasn't as easy as it was in video games.
"As long as you don't drive like you're trying to win Mario Kart, my lips are sealed." He then began to change the radio station at least fifteen times before Kenma even managed to get out of their apartment building's garage.
"You haven't told me where we're going," Kenma asked once they got to the first intersection. "Which way am I going?"
"Ken, you're supposed to ask that before you start the car," Kuroo said in a mocking tone.
Kenma shot him a retaliating glare. "Don't patronise me."
"Aww, you trusted me to just get in the car, that's so cute."
"Does your car come with an ejector seat button? Because I'm tempted to launch myself at this point."
Before Kuroo had a chance to answer, the traffic light turned green. "Left! Go left."
Kenma huffed, turning the wheel, and sending a short prayer that he wasn't about to get booked for not using his indicators. "And then where?"
"You know where Mizumoto Park is? Go there."
"Okay," Kenma said, now wholly focused on the road. They drove in silence for a while, the only sound from the radio that Kuroo kept insistently changing the stations of.
Once they had reached the main stretch of road, Kenma finally tore his eyes away from the windshield, sparing a quick glance in Kuroo's direction. He was quiet, lips pursed together and eyes looking out the window as though he were contemplating the meaning of life itself. The dark circles under his eyes had darkened, a sign of the late nights he'd been pulling lately accompanied by the tossing and turning once he finally did get to bed, which only ever subsided when Kenma pinned him down by laying on him. Kenma bit his lip in concern. He took one hand off of the wheel to instead reach over and grab Kuroo's hand, running circles over his palm with his thumb. "What're you thinking about?"
That snapped Kuroo out of his thoughts, he gave Kenma's hand a squeeze. "Nothing much. Just how lucky I am to have a soulmate like you."
Kenma rolled his eyes. He was almost certain that was a lie, but he didn't want to press it, not today. They were supposed to be celebrating Kuroo's birthday. If Kuroo wanted to tell him what was really on his mind, he would.
"You're alright too, I guess."
"How could you say something like that on my birthday ?" Kuroo lifted one hand to his forehead. "I don't think I can go on like this."
"It must be so tiring being that dramatic every single day," Kenma deadpanned.
"It's more tiring having a soulmate who doesn't love me as much as I love them."
"Are you being serious?" Kenma quirked an eyebrow. Surely, he was joking.
Kuroo, however, shrugged. "I don't know."
"Kuro, I will pull this car over right now. Are you serious?" After so many years, Kenma thought he'd bypassed any situation like this. It was true, he wasn't as verbal or as physical with his affection as Kuroo, but he thought there was an unspoken understanding that it was just how Kenma was, he showed his affection much like a cat, just content existing in the same space.
Perhaps he should have made it a spoken understanding. He still wasn't sure how serious Kuroo was being, not willing to take his eyes off of the road to properly analyse his expression. If it was true, Kenma didn't want to know how long Kuroo had felt like this. He had to focus instead on how to fix it.
"Don't pull over the car, it's not a big deal."
"Of course it's a big deal." Kenma tried to keep his tone devoid of any negative emotion. Was this why Kuroo had been acting so strange and distant lately? Kenma's heart throbbed, his hand becoming sweaty over the wheel.
Kuroo released Kenma's hand. "It's just... I don't know how to explain. You haven't done anything wrong, I've just been stuck in my own head a little lately."
"You mean everything to me," Kenma blurted out, not sure where the words had even come from in his jumbled thoughts. "I'm not as good at saying and showing it as you are, I don't think I ever will be. But I mean it. I can't picture my life without you." Kenma wanted to tell him he loved him, but his own rules forbid him.
Kuroo sniffled beside him before replying. "That means a lot," Kuroo replied, voice soft. Kenma took his hand into his own again. "Sorry I made you go out of your comfort zone there."
Kenma lightly shook his head. "I'll tell you a million times, as often as you need to hear it. You can talk to me."
"You really are the best soulmate ever." Kuroo leant across to place a soft kiss on Kenma's cheek. "Thank you."
Kenma thought that if he was the best soulmate ever, they wouldn't have had to have that conversation in the first place, but he couldn't change the past. He'd just be more conscious of it in the future.
They reached the park a few moments later, Kuroo wrapping a scarf around Kenma's neck before they got out of their car. In turn, Kenma pulled out the earmuffs he kept in the car's glovebox and slipped them over Kuroo's head, flattening out his permanent bed hair. Kuroo carried their basket and led Kenma by the hand around the park until he finally picked a spot by a lake, pulling their rug from on top of the basket and setting it down before they began to eat in a comfortable silence.
It was beautiful. The day was perfect, not a single cloud overhead, just an expanse of blue that seemed to go infinitely in all directions. Oak trees lined the park, their leaves shades of warm golds and bright reds, signs that Winter was on its way. Kenma tilted his head up and closed his eyes, enjoying the sun's warmth tickling his face
"This is a good place," Kuroo mused, looking out over the lake, sandwich in hand. "I like it here."
Kenma made a 'hmm' around his sandwich. It was a very pretty spot that Kuroo had brought them to. "How'd you find it?"
Kuroo's lips quirked up. "It's where Bo is gonna propose to Akaashi in a few weeks, I thought we should scout it out. Oh, don't tell him."
There wasn't anything Kenma could do to suppress his own smile at the thought. He knew Akaashi would say yes, they'd both been on the path of marriage for a while. "I won't tell him. When's he going to do it?"
"About a week from now, I think. I went with him to pick out a ring. I wonder if he's going to be able to actually keep it hidden from Keiji though, you know what he's like."
Kenma nodded. Akaashi was extremely observant, especially when it came to matters of his heart (being Bokuto). And Bokuto was far from subtle. "I'm happy for them."
"Me too! Bo's ecstatic about the whole thing. Talks about it every day." Kuroo ran a hand through his hair. "I wonder when their wedding is gonna be."
"Probably in two Springs from now, knowing Akaashi. Bokuto's favourite season is Spring, but next Spring doesn't give them enough time to plan. So it'll be the next one."
There was something distant in Kuroo's smile at that, his eyes downturned. "Long time away."
"I guess."
They lapsed back into silence, finishing their sandwiches while looking over the lake. Eventually, Kenma suggested cutting the small cake they'd bought. Kuroo hummed in agreement.
Kenma dug through the bag until he had procured the cake, the candle and some matches, setting it up and lighting the flame, pushing it towards Kuroo before the wind had a chance to blow out.
Kuroo promptly scrunched his eyes together, something he did every year while making his birthday wish, and blew out the candle.
Kenma shuffled over on the rug until he was pressed against Kuroo, and leant up to press a kiss to his jaw. "Happy 24th birthday, Kuro."
"Thank you, kitten." Kuroo moved around, organising himself so that Kenma was seated between his legs, so close that their chests were almost pressed together, cake seemingly forgotten. "You wanna know what I wished for?"
"Okay," Kenma replied, hooking his legs around his boyfriend's waist so they were intertwined.
"Kenma," Kuroo droned. "The correct response is 'no, because it won't come true if you say it'. Not 'okay'. Jeez." He poked at Kenma's sides.
"I'm nosey."
Kuroo shook his head. "I can't believe you." He leant forward to kiss Kenma's nose. "I wished that I'd get to spend forever with you."
"That's a dumb wish," Kenma deadpanned, lifting his hands to thumb over Kuroo's brows, trying to smooth out the crease his words had created.
Kuroo's mouth gaped open anyway. "Why is that a dumb wish? What the fuck, Kenma."
Kenma chuckled. "Because we have that anyway."
Though perhaps a trick of the reflection of the lake, Kenma could have sworn that Kuroo's eyes became glassy. "Oh my god," Kuroo repeated a few times while pressing a barrage of kisses all over Kenma's face, starting at his chin, his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, and finally his lips. "You're not good for my heart."
Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma's waist, and pulled him down so they were laying on the ground, Kenma's head on Kuroo's chest. He lifted one hand, tracing over the Bouncing Ball logo on Kuroo's shirt with one finger. It was awfully endearing that Kuroo had made Kenma's merchandise part of his everyday wardrobe.
No words were spoken between them, both perfectly content to just be in each other's company, Kuroo threading his hands through Kenma's hair, and Kenma occasionally shifting to place a kiss against Kuroo's chest.
After an indeterminate amount of time passed, Kenma began to feel Kuroo slightly tremble underneath him. Kenma's brows thread together; it wasn't that cold.
He lifted his head. Kuroo wasn't laughing or crying, and his lips weren't inged purple from the cold. Kenma tilted his head to the side. "Are you alright?"
Kuroo only looked back at him in confusion. "Yeah? What's up?"
Kenma shrugged. "Nothing." Perhaps he had been imagining it, Kuroo seemed fine now, at least.
With that, Kenma lay his head back down on Kuroo's chest, Kuroo holding him there even tighter than before.