The puck bounced off the edge of the air hockey table, banging against the side and then gliding across the table. Luckily I stopped Jordan from scoring a goal with my striker just in time.
"Ahh, that was just luck." He teased disappointedly.
I chewed the inside of my cheek as I mentally prepared myself to get this out in the open.
"I'm going to ask Olivia to be my girlfriend." I said nervously as I pushed on the puck with my striker. Jordan's mouth fell open slightly and my puck glided through his fingers with complete ease. He looked down at the air hockey table with a disheartened expression.
"Was that a distraction tactic or are you being serious?" He asked with a know-it-all voice.
"I'm being serious. I need your help." I admitted. Jordan threw down his striker and walked over to me, assessing my face for any sign that I'm not being truthful. Then he nodded, accepting my words. "I'm gonna need loads of candles and roses. Oh and your boat." He still stood looking a little flabbergasted by my admittance so I snapped my fingers a few times in front of his face to shake him out of it.
"You've really grown up Liam, it was only a few weeks ago I was telling her you probably would never ask her." He looked me up and down suspiciously.
"What? ... When did you? ... why did you?" I stuttered out hopelessly.
"It doesn't matter now, we had a little chat the night of the Harry Potter marathon, that's all. She's expecting an invite to prom by the way."
He smiled slyly, relishing in knowing something that I didn't and it drove me crazy. I haven't seen Olivia much since that night because her parents have been home but she never mentioned her conversation with Jordan.
"I hope you didn't say anything incriminating."
I hope she didn't say anything private.
"You know I did bro." Jordan teased.
***
We stood in the secluded cave just over the water from the dock. It was basically just rocks that formed a tunnel but I knew I could make it look beautiful. Jordan came with platters of food cooked by his chef, he threw a red blanket down and started setting up the food picnic style. Zak helped me scatter roses and light candles.
"This is a really big deal Liam." Zak cooed.
"Oh you have no idea." I replied, adding more red roses to the rocks.
And they didn't have any idea. Tonight I'm going to something I've wanted to do for a while. Tonight I'm going to let her in completely. I'm terrified but I'm ready.
"What you want writing with the petals? Will you be my girlfriend?" Jordan asked.
I thought about it but knowing that question was sitting waiting for her on a plate I would probably back out of bringing her here.
"No. Just write Prom?" I said straightly. "I'll ask her that myself." I added.
Once we were done setting up the caves we stood at the entrance of our rose petal path and gave one last lingering look around. It looked magical, romantic and perfect.
"This is some girly shit, the pair of you utter a word to anyone about this I'm gonna kill you." Jordan teased, slapping me on the back playfully. I flinched.
"So you know what do now? I'm going to get her out the house and you go to her house and do the same to the bed." I muttered out as soon as I swallowed down my darkness.
"Yes we know, make it look so good you get laid. We've done this before." Zak said adding a wink that made my eyes roll.
"And you're good with the locks?" The butterflies inside of me were starting to wake up and I could feel flutter of nerves running through me.
"Liam, we've picked plenty of locks. Getting into her house won't be a problem." Jordan said with a disinterested tone. I nodded my head accepting that the whole plan is going to come together ... as long as I don't chicken out.
We headed back to the dock on Jordan's boat, sailing across the calm waters causing small ripples across the water. The serene water was a complete contrast to what I was feeling inside. Nervousness crashed through my body in waves breaking against my bones, it was destroying me but I was determined not to be weak and succumb to it. I wiped my sweaty palms away and breathed the sea air into my lungs, hoping it would settle my heart rate.
***
Her hands clung to the cold leather that kept my darkness captured tightly inside of me, right now it was keeping a lot in. I had made my decision and I was going to follow through with it, providing she wanted to. I halted my bike at the side of the dock and helped her climb off as she looked around with in awe.
"What are we doing here?" She asked curiously.
"I rented a boat." She looked momentarily surprised until I pointed at the small speed boat bobbing up and on the surface of the water. "Have you ever been on the other side of the river?" She shook her head, still taken aback by the boat I think. Hopefully that's a good thing and she's not disappointed. "It's beautiful." I reassured.
"How do you know how to drive the boat?" She settled herself down on the white leather seating and strapped her life jacket on.
I glanced around the boat quickly, reliving all of the memories. The times we would escape onto the river for hours fishing or drinking in the sun. Away from the main island. Away from Jax and all the shit that goes back on at home. There wasn't any fights, no girls allowed. Just my friends, me and peacefulness of the water.
"It's Jordan's boat, we use it alot." I answered vaguely.
We pulled up along the cave, from the outside it just looked like rocks but my heart fluttered in anticipation and I silently prayed she liked what I had planned. Grasping onto her hand I helped her climb out the boat and kept our hands interlocked as I led her towards the cave.
I nervously allowed my eyes a second contact with her face, assessing her reaction and determining if I needed to prepare for rejection of some sort. But the candle light flickered on her beautiful face and all I could see was wonderment and admiration.
Relax Liam, it's fine.
"Liam, this is beautiful." She said slowly, not taking her eyes away from her surroundings.
"I told you." I said with the widest of smiles. I hit play on my phone, letting 'Live your story by Auley Cravello' started playing on a low volume that distracted from the caves natural echo.
We walked through the cave allowing the candles and roses to lead our pathway. Once we got to the red blanket in the middle I released her hand and took a seat. Olivia didn't speak much and I could feel my nerves returning.
"Jordans chef made the food so it's gonna taste good." I tried to engage her in some spoken conversation, wanting reassurance that she didn't think this was dumb.
"This is amazing, I can't believe you did all of this." Her face beamed as I pulled more food items out of a woven basket. Her words were enough to relax my nerves a little but not enough because I knew the hardest part of my battle was to come.
We made small conversation, I hate small conversation but I couldn't focus on anything major right now and I felt like my body was leaking water through the palms of my hands, enough to flood the cave.
"You seem nervous?" She broke my lack of concentration by pointing out the obvious.
Shit.
"Am I that obvious?"
"Only to me." She said with a nod.
I dug into the wicker basket one more time, bringing out a round silver plate with a lid hiding the contents. Maybe this will throw her off the scent a little and give me time to rein back my nerves, or hide them better. She looked confused as I set the clough down in front of her.
"You ready?" I asked her but secretly I was asking myself and I didn't know the answer.
She nodded her head and slowly lifted off the lid, hoping Jordan didn't mess up the lettering. I sighed with relief when the word 'Prom?' sat in rose petals center to the platter.
Olivia was clearly pleased to receive my promposal, did she honestly think I would take anyone else?
"This is why you're so nervous? Of course I'll go to prom with you!" She blurted out excitedly, instantly pulling me into a hug. I drunk in her tropical scent, reminding myself how much I wanted this. How much I wanted her. With her body this close to mine it seemed easy, within arms reach but then when things got real shit got hard.
We continued our picnic, making plans about prom, I even agreed to travel with her friends ... including Harris. But honestly the whole time I was with her I spent telling my brain to behave and not chicken out. I gave myself harsh pep talks that were anything but encouraging or peppy. In fact, I spent an hour and a half insulting myself and throwing verbal abuse around my subconscious.
"Thank you for this date, it was perfect." She said as she exited the boat.
"It's not over yet, there's one more surprise." I wished my voice came out more confident than it sounded but it betrayed me in every way.
This was it.
The moment I've feared my whole life.
Intimacy. Closeness. Love.