A/N: Finally a Kakashi lemon! It took me so long to write for unknown reasons. I love him so much (who doesn't) and nothing I write makes justice. Maybe I do better next time.
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You were jumping over the trees carefully, to not get spotted by the group of ninjas you were following. They definitely were rogue given the slashed out symbols on their headbands. You hide behind a tree and carefully assess the situation. You see them joining at least ten more of them.
"How big of an army do they have?", you think to yourself. You step a little ahead to get a better view of the abandoned building they were going in. You didn't need to be here, you should've gone your way. You had many other things to take care of before you go back to the Leaf village. You sigh thinking about it. It has been thirteen years since you have been there, and now that Lord Third is gone who was the only one to know about your mission, you need to turn in to the Fifth Hokage Lady Tsunade with the findings. You are pretty far away from the building but notice a visible commotion which pulls your attention back to the task at hand.
The night is quiet except the clanks of swords and kunai echoing. "To investigate or not investigate", you think to yourself before you hear the sound of a thousand birds in the still of the night. It almost feels like the lightening has passed through you. Even if its been thirteen years, there is no way you are going to forget that sound. The sound of chidori. But even though he was an excellent shinobi then and probably even more so now, taking on a whole group of people with chidori wasn't really practical, since it was a pin point attack. It had been a while since Kakashi left ANBU, where he could destroy an army with just his sword. You climb higher in the tree to stay hidden and get even better view but it is impossible to see inside the building. You leave your kunai on the branch and creep up to the back entrance and swiftly climb to the roof that had been broken in due to severe damage. It was a very cliché setting for criminal activity but all you could think of was what was he doing here and was he alone? You couldn't make out from the other noises and none of them seem to be working with him. You take a peek a inside to confirm your suspicions. He is alone against about twenty or so rogue ninjas. "He can handle this", you think but it is impossible not to watch.
The moon keeps passing in and out the clouds making it difficult to track the fight for you. Kakashi is doing okay with his Sharingan but these are no ordinary ninjas, they all are banished from their villages for being extreme and are excellent shinobis themselves. You can see Kakashi's stamina running down and his reflexes slower than before, even though he is still faster than the others. But one wrong move and an older looking ninja stabs Kakashi with his sword till the hilt and pulls it out of him like slicing meat, leaving him with a deep wound that was now oozing out blood everywhere. He still manages to stand but since he was rapidly losing blood, it seems more and more difficult for him to continue to fight the remaining four ninjas. He stumbles upon the bodies of the other fallen ninja and comes out the building for more advantage. Before they can follow him out, you jump down, pick him up and teleport to the tree you had left your kunai in. You take the kunai out of the tree and place it in your pocket. "Go further away and patch yourself, I ll take care of the rest. Do you need them?", you ask and he shakes his head to say yes. "The tallest guy", he says quietly and you jump away from him to defeat the remaining guys. You tie the tallest one in such a way that he cant preform any hand signs and Kakashi soon joins you after patching his shoulder. "He is all yours", you say and stand away from them, still listening in case this was somehow connected to the terrorist organization you were researching about.After the interrogation and getting the information he needed, Kakashi knocks him out. You give him a bow and start to leave since you got everything you needed too.
"Wait", he says but you knew there was no point in waiting. He would recognize you in an instant if you stopped. You were not supposed to be there in the first place. But as quickly as you go and as much as he is injured he does catch up with you. Not because of his speed but because you almost fall in his trap, since you let your guard down.
"Damn it, not now", you almost curse under your mask as he ties a string around your body and around the tree you were on. You try to struggle but no use, he is pretty intelligent even when injured. You were so afraid he would catch up to you, you didn't check all your directions before making a move.
"Is this a way to greet someone who saved you?", you ask, not directly looking at him.
"I am sorry, you wouldn't wait", he said panting. He sits down on one knee on the branch of the tree in front of you still tied.
"But if I leave you, you'll take off again", he adds.
"So you are going to interrogate me as well?", you ask from under your mask.
"Yes. Who are you?"
"Not important, I can't tell you"
"Why were you there? Were you interested in the rogue organization too?"
"I was yes"
"How did you teleport? That was Minato Namikaze's jutsu."
"I'll not confirm nor deny"
"What do you mean by that? Did you know Minato sensei?"
"I'll not confirm nor deny"
"I demand an answer", he says and comes closer. You move back to get away from him pushing back against the bark of the tree nowhere else to go. Your hands are stuck in an awkward angle because of the string. You shuffle to try to break away from it which causes your shirt to move and expose your neck which in turn exposes the distinctly curved scar on your skin. The moon is out from the clouds now flooding the scene with light, so every detail is visible.
"Who are you, tell me right now", Kakashi says with his voice quavering. He had already guessed it, guessed it right, but he couldn't believe it. You see it in his eyes that he has recognized you and there is no mistaking, no point in running anymore. You have been caught.
"Guess you already know", you say looking into his eyes. He gasps for a moment and continues to stare at you.
"I wont run, please let me out", you say and he obeys. You sink against the bark of the tree you were tied against and sit down and take your mask off.
"You...", Kakashi starts but doesn't complete. He opens his mouth but words don't come out. You continue to look at him, his confused face, his sharp features, the air of confidence he had around him shattering, his pristine silver hair shining against the moonlight.
"I can explain", you say and sigh not sure how to meet a person who didn't know you still existed.
"You were supposed to be dead, they told me you were dead", Kakashi finally said, his voice laced with anger.
"That was the plan", you reply calmly, unsure how this conversation is going to go.
"What plan? With whom?"
"Lord Third. Now that he is gone, I have to come back to the leaf", you mutter. He looks at you and leaves, alone through the dark.
"Hey wait for me", you say and follow him back to the gate of the leaf.
You weren't far away, it is about half a day worth of journey but Kakashi doesn't talk to you at all, not a single word, no question. He looks pissed, and he has every right to, you think to yourself. He stops just when you start seeing the gate from the distance.
"You okay?", you ask him to make sure he is, he was injured and had lost a lot of blood already.
"That is how you teleported."
"Yeah, I practiced it with brother, but I was very weak back then. I finally perfected it. Why?"
"How are you still alive?"
"Long story, but I didn't really die on that mission."
"Sensei did, though, that day."
"I know. That is why Lord Third it would be the best."
"And he thought it was okay to leave Naruto alone like that?"
"It was my idea. Not about Naruto but about the mission. I really f*cked up there though, he must be so alone."
"You voluntarily gave your life for this? You told him you wanted to act dead?", he blurts heartbroken more than anything else.
"I.. I thought it would be the best. If no one knows and that everyone thinks I am dead. I did what I had to do to gather intel", you say looking at the ground and avoiding his gaze.
"Fair enough", Kakashi replies and turns around to leave.
"I am sorry."
"You were following orders."
"I was following orders."
He opens his mouth to talk but closes it and walks away.
"I know this came as a shock but I didn't expect you to be this mad, Kashi", you say, calling him by his old nickname. The one he hasn't been called by in thirteen years.
His eyes snap open to look at you.
"Do not call me by that name", he snarls and turns to take off but you are quick enough to move forward and stop him.
"Hey", you look at him but there is no expression in his eye, it is just blank.
"Can we just talk before we go in?", you ask him. The last time you talked to him was the eve of the fateful night. Before the nine tails attack on the village. You had told him he meant more to you. More than a friend you would occasionally spar with, more than her brother's student, more than a comrade. He had looked at you with the same blank expression even then, the one he is looking at you now with.
"Y/N Namikaze, why didn't you just stay dead", he says and leaves you there alone.
You look at the empty space where he was standing, trying to rewind the moment to make sure he had said what you had heard. Your feet give in and you fall down on the ground knees first. You feel a hole in your heart, like nothing else mattered. You consider turning away before even entering the leaf, you still can, he is already gone. But you owe Naruto the truth, you think to yourself. You shouldn't have left your infant nephew like that, that night. The problem of being a spy for this long, being constantly vigilant for so long is that you cannot feel your own emotions. You can cry at a drop of a hat if you needed it in the act but when you feel like someone ripped your heart out, you cant cry, the tears would not come easily.
You drag your feet in to enter the gate of the village and after a low key welcome parade you finally get to go to the Hokage's office. Shizune arranges for you to stay at a small lodge so you can get back and settle in again but not before you have a long meeting with Lady Tsunade. You are in her office the whole day, bringing her up to speed with everything that happened throughout this time. By the time you are in bed it is already 2 am. You barely take your shoes off before crashing in the bed.
The next day goes by hazily, barely waking up, Asuma, Guy, Kurenai coming to meet you, followed by Genma and Kotetsu. There are a lot of hugs and talking and laughing going around but obviously the one face you want to see is missing.
You replay his dialogue in your head again and sigh. He had broken your heart all those years ago and even today he had the power to break your heart. "Maybe he was with someone, and didn't want me to complicate things? Maybe he didn't know how to react after all this while, I should cut him some slack, but he still wished I was dead, that is no excuse", you keep thinking when Kurenai snaps her fingers in front of you.
"We heard Kakashi was the one that found you, did something happen?", she asks quietly when nobody was paying attention to you. You sigh again. "He said I should've stayed dead", you mutter pain searing through your chest again. "He spends too much time with the memorial stone, going over his regrets. He doesn't know how to be with the living. He ll come around, you know how he is", she says giving you a hug. "That doesn't mean you weren't alone all this while either", she says. You feel better, better to have someone to talk to, someone to be there for you. It has been too long, you think.
Next day morning you had a meeting with Lady Tsunade, Master Jiraiya, Kakashi and Iruka about Naruto. They all think it is better to not tell him anything till he comes back from his training. You are livid at their decision but they knew him more than you did and you decided to follow their advice. To add to that, Kakashi excuses himself earlier from the meeting citing some stupid reason, maybe in order to avoid talking to you later. You are really pissed off at everything since you are back.
"Two reasons I was happy to be back for, both are taken away from me", you think to yourself. You angrily go shopping instead since you have literally no clothes to wear since forever. You change into some new clothes while carrying the rest with you and start going towards your house but turn around to go to the library instead. You wanted to read up the records on what happened that day, about the attack, about some of the missions that were accepted, the events in the village. You needed to know everything there was to know about Minato and Kushina and the attack. You have your clearance back so you get the documents and sit in the smallest section of the library instead of sitting in the main hall so that nobody is around you. This secluded part of the library was always your favorite, not many came all the way down the hall in the room and you could study without any disturbance. You smile thinking about how many days you and Kakashi spent here. You let out a groan thinking about him. "Well, he clearly didn't want to see me again, so I rather continue what I came here for", you say to yourself and open the reports you had in your hand and soon forget all about everything else.
You look outside after what feels like hours with files and books and scrolls stacked on your table. The sun had already set and you can see the pink and orange remainders of the dusk. You had your jacket off and wore a soft white blouse underneath, making you shudder at the evening chill. You get up and stretch your body stiff from sitting still all this while. You pack up the papers in front of you cleaning up the mess and make a mental note of which reports are to be returned to which desk.
Someone clears their throat behind you and you take a kunai out of your pouch and aim it at them in an instant.
"Woah", Kakashi says putting his hands up in the air surrendering.
You don't lower it though.
"Its just me", he says waving his hands at you.
"Cannot take any chance since you prefer me being dead", you say still pointing at him.
"Y/N", he says and looks at you.
You slowly lower your kunai and keep it back in your pouch while still holding sly eye contact with him before turning around to continue clearing your table.
Kakashi takes a step forward, "We have to talk".
You turn around and face him, this day was definitely not going the way you wanted it to go.
"What do we have left to talk, Kakashi? I think you had made it pretty clear."
"I.. I didn't mean it like that. I was shocked you are alive. I have been mourning you for the last thirteen years."
"I know, and I said I am sorry. The third thought it would be the best. You think I didn't want to come back? For the village? For Naruto?", you say angrily absentmindedly taking a couple of steps towards him.
"For you?", you add softly almost mumbling but enough for him to hear.
Kakashi closes the distance between you two and pulls you in a hug shocking you but you push him away and glare at him with your face flustered and tears threatening to fall to your own surprise.
You didn't get tears that easily but you were angry and heartbroken at his initial reaction. Not like you hadn't expected it but if he was alone all this while, so were you.
"If there was someone who didn't care, it was you
""Y/N, you know that is not true."
"Okay I am sorry. You were too much of a coward to show you cared."
"Minato was my sensei. It would've been wrong."
"How was it wrong? What was so wrong in it? He loved you, I lov--", you stop midsentence.
"Then you should've given me time to come around."
"I gave myself to you on a silver platter. What else did you want me to do?"
"That was selfish and you know it. You were leaving for nothing short of a suicide mission. What was I suppose to say? I had told you not to take it in the first place, it was hasty and nobody had planned for it. It was one thing if Minato sensei went on that mission, but it was different if it was you."
You knew he was right.
"I ..", you start, stuttering. "I was afraid. I delayed it, and when I reached there, they were all dead. I didn't want brother to leave Kushina that night, but I was late and they were all gone. I had to find out more and when I came back to the leaf, the attack....", your voice breaks and a couple of tears run down your cheek. You wipe them off quickly and gaze down for a moment before meeting his eyes again.
"I get it, I disrupted whatever was going on with your life and I am sorry. I didn't do this all those years ago but this time I'll definitely mind my own business. You have no obligation towards me. All I care about is Naruto right now, so if you excuse me, I need to go check up on him", you say and turn around to get to the table and your things but he holds your hand and pulls you close before you can get out of the aisle you were currently in.
"You are going to let me talk now", he says calmly looking at you. You take a step back but reach the shelf instead and he places both his hands on your waist and pins you against it.
"What do you think you are doing?", you say slowly avoiding his gaze.
"Not being a coward", he whispers in your ear.
Your heart was already racing since he came to see you and now you can barely hold a thought in your head given how close he is. You can feel his warm breath on your skin, you can smell his faint perfume mixed with a hint of his manly scent. It sends a bunch of tingles down your spine, familiar memories from what felt like your past life. He hasn't changed, you think. His fingers on your waist move an inch and it hitches your breathing. His finger grazes against your bare skin where your blouse is shorter and you can hear your heart pounding in your chest.
"What?", you manage to say through your parched throat. He moves his lips closer to your neck without actually touching but it makes you open your lips and sigh.
"Stop, Kakashi", you say pushing him away with your fingertips. That was all the resolve you had.
"I don't think you want me to stop Y/N", he says, every word like honey in your ears. He kisses your neck softly that elicits a sharp exhale from you.
"We..we shouldn't", you say and try to push him away weakly. Your entire body was at his mercy and he knew it.
"Why?", he asks between kisses.
"Because, I have to be at Naruto's", you say.
"He is with Iruka after the training. I think he ll be alright", Kakashi says.
"I don't know what changed in the last thirteen years", you sigh.
He kisses the crook of your neck and gets rewarded with a moan.
"Aahh Kakashi, we shouldn't", you moan and finally manage to push him away a little.
He looks in your eyes to find his answer if you really want him to stop.
"We don't know, I just came back, I don't want to be another one of your regrets", you say pushing him away.
He holds your wrist and yanks you towards him holding you in a tight grip.
"What did you just say?", he snarls.
"You said it yourself thirteen years ago, 'Don't make me regret this'", you say repeating his words.
"I don't want to be one of your regrets", you add.
"You know what I do regret? What I have been thinking about for the last thirteen years? That I shouldn't have let you go alone on that goddamn mission. How foolish are you? I kept thinking you would come back and I'll tell you, I'll deal with my feelings for you, but you never came back. I spent the last thirteen years in what ifs, and this is what you think?", he says bitterly his voice laced with anger as well as sadness. You hold his vest with your remaining free hand and pull him towards you glaring in his eyes. He leaves your wrist and you use both your hands to hold his vest. "Show me then, show me how much you missed me. Show it to me, maybe then I'll apologize to you for being gone", you say challenging him. You wanted him to love you with all his heart but you weren't sure of it then, and you aren't sure of it now.
He pushes you against the shelf behind you and crashes his lips against yours to kiss you roughly like a possessed man. He bites your lower lip and thrusts his tongue inside your mouth to explore the entire territory and claim it as his. You hold his shirt tightly to maintain your balance. His hands slip under your blouse and rest on your bare skin caressing your curves. Your hands leave his shirt and you entangle them in his gravity defying silver hair pulling him closer for the kiss. You take his headband off and run your fingers through his hair unrestricted and give it a tug. You break the kiss for air and you both look at each other panting. He leans in to kiss and nibble on your neck but he goes to your soft spot and bites hard enough to make you moan. "Unhh Kashi, that ll make a mark", you say still panting. "I don't care, let me show you how much I missed you. How I missed hearing my name from your lips. How dare you leave me alone for this long?", he says and continues nibbling as much bare skin he can find littering it with marks.
"Kashi?", you say more of a moan than a question. "I don't care if it wasn't your fault, I had lost every single one", he says looking at you followed by a harsh kiss. Your heart melts at his honest confession but before you could say anything he roughly takes your blouse off and throws it on the floor next to you and comes in to kiss your neck again. His route from your jaw to your cleavage is unrestricted now and he plants harsh kisses littering it with red bruises.
"Kakashi please. Not in the library", you moan holding his head and arching into him. "Like we didn't spend all that time studying here before", he says and looks at you. He looked mad, his eyes dark and full of lust. Hungry, for a very specific person. He takes his vest off and you help him unbutton his shirt but he stops you and focuses on you instead. He leans in and kisses you hard holding your hair and tugging on it harshly.
"Mmmgghh", you moan into his mouth but he doesn't let you off. Instead, he puts his hand under your skirt and moves your panties to insert a finger into your slick folds. You grab his shoulders for stability and leave the kiss to moan loudly. He thrusts his finger in and out of you slowly, feeling your delicate slippery walls coating his finger with your juices when inside. "Aahhh", is all you manage to say before he claims your lips again tugging at your hair. You rest your feet on the mostly empty shelf behind him instead of on the floor to give him more space to enter you.
He inserts two fingers in and pinches your bud sending shocks throughout your body. "Ngghh Kashi, your fingers feel so good", you moan and every single one of his thrust is met with a scream from you following that. "You are too loud for your own good", Kakashi says, feeling his pants getting tighter with you screaming his name and becoming a putty in his hands. "You are the one making me scream", you pant thrusting hips to meet the onslaught of three of his fingers now. He pulls your hair making your bend your head back, "Do you rather I stop?", he asks pulling his fingers out of you. 'God please don't stop now Kakashi", you look at him your voice begging.
You were so close and the sudden lack of friction from his nimble fingers thrusting inside you before make you feel lonely in your core. "Lick", he says and inserts his three fingers coated with your juices into your mouth. You hungrily take it in and clean it sucking on his fingers. He takes it out and kisses your lips, sucking on your tongue and tasting your juices on you. "Mmm you taste good", he growls in your ear and suck on your earlobe. He takes off your bra and pinches both your nipples simultaneously eliciting another scream from you. "Someone will come to check in on us if you keep being this loud", he says casually taking a nipple in his mouth and biting lightly on it. "Stop teasing me, Kakashi aaahh", you moan hugging his face while he sucks on your soft fleshy mounds. Your nipples are hard and super sensitive now and any touch of his teeth makes the pool between your thighs larger and larger. His face feels flushed and hot on your otherwise cold chest making goosebumps rise on your skin. "You said you didn't want to do it here", he says looking at you while playing with another n*pple.
"Just take me like you mean it", you beg closing your eyes and arching into him. He unzips his pants and shoves it down along with his underwear to expose a large hard cock. Your heart jumps at the sight and you can feel your stomach turn. He pulls your panties down and rips it off throwing it over your abandoned shirt. He keeps your right leg on the shelf behind him while rubbing the tip of his c*ck on your entrance. He pushes it in and you squeeze your eyes close, your tight p*ssy swallowing every inch.
"Arghh you are so tight Y/N", he pants in your ear. He takes his c*ck out and thrusts it in again a couple of times till the movement isn't awkward. He then makes you straddle him and thrusts his hips to f*ck you deep. "Ahhh Kakashi, you are huge", you moan holding on to him for dear life. You move your hips to meet his thrusts and you are both in a rhythmic sensual dance of your own. He kisses you swallowing all your moans while every drive of his onslaught sends shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body. You move your hands over his tight chest and abdomen and hold on to his muscled shoulders. You are already close from him playing with you. He pins you against the shelf and bites your neck hard, making the pressure in you release as you start to c*m all over his c*ck. "F*ck Kashi, faster", you moan and he picks up his pace to get you over the edge completely. Your convulsing p*ssy keeps clenching around his c*ck while you come undone, making him growl from his chest. He puts your legs down but your knees buckle and you fall into him. He holds your waist and makes you turn around and stand with the support of the shelf. He hugs your waist with one hand and inserts his c*ck into you from behind. "Dammit Kakashi", you say and involuntarily arch your back into him. He pinches and squeezes your breast with his free hand as he hit deeper inside you. He was hitting all the right spots making your body shudder and your trembling walls were the proof of it.
"Can you feel ~~ how much ~~ I missed you?", he says between thrusts.
He lightly holds your throat enough to make you gasp but not enough to choke you.
"Yes, I can", you whimper.
"Are you~ sorry ~ yet? Are you sorry ~ you left me~ alone?", he continues.
"Yes, I am", you reply holding on to the shelf for dear life.
The pressure starts building inside you for the second time and the fact that you are in a goddamn library makes you feel even hotter. "Look at you all wet and squishy ready to c*m for me again", he says in your ear licking the outer rim of it followed by dark purplish marks on your shoulder. "Nghhh please, faster. Don't you want everyone to know whom I belong to even after all these years?", you add cheekily making him pound you. He growls at your lewd words and sounds that you were making just for him. He holds your waist tightly and thrusts harder into you, his own org*sm close because of the way your pulsating p*ssy was clenching all over his c*ck. "F*ck I am close, Y/N", he groans and you feel his cock twitch. One of his hands comes down to graze over your cl*t and you felt although the elastic band that had been stretched for far too long had broken inside you just by that single touch. You arch your back completely and lean onto him while he hugs your waist and empties himself. Your p*ssy washes his c*ck with your juices while you can feel his warm seed gushing inside you . He keeps thrusting slowly while your p*ssy milks his throbbing c*ck till its last drop. You can feel your mixed juices running down your thigh but you are too spent to bother. He turns you around and hugs your barely clothed body and kisses your shoulder softly.
"I am sorry", you whisper your voice raspy.
"Me too", he says hugging you tighter.
You stay like that breathing hard in each other arms for a few minutes before you gather your breath and your clothes to get dressed. Thank God you had gone shopping that day and had your new clothes on you to change, otherwise it would've been difficult to get out of there with whatever was left of your clothing. You get dressed while Kakashi makes the library a little more "study worthy" again.
He comes to you and holds your face in his palm.
He moves your hair away from your face and kisses your forehead softly looking at you, taking all of you in after so many years.
"I missed you Y/N", he says his voice breaking. "I.. missed you so much. Every single day", he says caressing your face with his thumb.
"I missed you too, Kakashi", you say cupping his face in your hands.
"I am thankful you are alive and unharmed. Please don't leave me again", he says.
"I won't. I still love you", you say smiling a little at him.
"And I have always loved you", he replies hugging you tightly and smiling back at you.
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A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Please vote if you did. Thanks!