So many thoughts had coursed through my mind all in one moment, coming at me like violent waves crashing down upon jagged rocks, roaring violently. These first thoughts came into mind:
How could I have not known? He was gone so early in the morning. I thought he went home to change or something. How the hell did he end up near Fairview Road?
That was a whole hour and a half walk.
… Raymond Diederich age 16. A male, white, five feet eleven inches…
I check my phone. Thirteen missed calls from this morning, all from Raymond. I never bothered to check.
… Last seen on Fairview Rd. on Wednesday, July 12th at 6:45 AM…
“Zora…?” You touched my shoulder gently and I flinched immensely. You frowned deeply, concern etched in your furrowed brows. “Are you okay?”
Thirteen calls.
“Thirteen calls… Thirteen missed calls…” I began to space out, but the police officer in front of me kept me from doing so completely.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.
“Zora Montero? I’d like to ask you a few questions about Raymond if you don’t mind…”
You blinked, and that’s when you understood. “You knew him? Was he your boyfriend?”
“No!” I snapped at him viciously, calming myself down shortly after. “Raymond was my best guy friend…”
“When did you last see him Miss Montero?” Officer Brown asked, holding a small notepad in his right hand, a cheap ballpoint pen in his left.
I spaced out for a couple of minutes, lost in my own thoughts before I finally managed to drag myself back to reality and I answered the man. “Last night. We were camping out in my backyard, our usual Friday night plans during the summer. When I woke up, he was gone. I thought he went back home to get dressed or something. He’s usually an early bird, you know? Likes to go out for his jogs sometimes.”
“Before his disappearance did you have any contact with him?”
“He called me,” I said slowly, trying to choose the right words, “thirteen times.”
“Did he leave a voicemail?”
“No sir,” I lied. “These calls all happened around 6:30-6:45 this morning, around the time when he disappeared.. It would have been wise if he did, but I guess he had no time to.”
“Thank you.” Officer Brown tipped his hat in gratitude then went back to across the street; before he could go, I took a hold of his wrist.
“Please find him officer—he’s the only friend I have left.” I looked at him with pleading eyes and he rested his chubby hand against my shoulder.
“We’re going to do the best we can do.” He gave me a reassuring smile before walking off down the street. I saw news reporters begin to swarm the house like an insect manifestation.
You touched my shoulder and I tensed slightly. “Zora… I’m sorry…”
I started to space off again. I just kept praying in my head, saying that this was just a dream. It was just a dream and when I’d wake, he’d be next to me, in the tent, safe and sound.
“Let me sit you down… you’re in great shock right now.” You led me inside my house, away from the swarm and you sat me down on my couch. Nobody else was home. I was the only one here besides you.
I was staring up at the ceiling. You watched me for a long time before squatting down. With a soft sigh, you patted my head. “I’m sorry…”
I jerked myself away from you and ran off to my bedroom. I slammed the door shut so it won’t be opened. My fists were banging against the walls—items were being thrown across the floor and everything breakable was broken. I had my music blasting so loud that I couldn’t even hear my own cries. My mind was completely empty and my hands were stained in blood and shards of glass that managed to wedge in between the slits.
I was on the floor, sobbing and shaking, and that’s when you knocked on the door. I jumped back slightly as reality entered my system again. My eyes went wide and you knocked again, your tone emotionless as you spoke. “Are you done now?”
My lips parted on soft, uneasy breaths. I nodded, but then I remembered, you couldn’t see that through a door.
You were no Superman after all.
You walked in, looked around the room, turned off the radio, and then looked at me, repeating your question. “So are you done now?”
My lips moved to say “Yes”. No sound escaped my lips, but you knew my answer. I could never find the right letters to put together. I could never find the right words to string together and create a sentence with. Your emotionless eyes looked into mine and I couldn’t help but to look away, hugging my stuffed lion, Rey. I didn’t want to look into your eyes again.
I was too scared and too ashamed.
You stood me up and put my mattress back where it belonged, sitting me down, careful not to step on any of the glass. You left for a brief moment and I stared at the curtains, looking for shapes in between the chandeliers.
You came back with a first aid kit and tended to my wounds, taking out the glass with extra care, cleaning my hands, disinfecting them, wrapping them. I watched you with great intensity and I listened to your soft voice. “Maybe this will teach you what not to do next time something goes wrong… You know… worrying about somebody is a waste of time, because you’re doing absolutely nothing about it except for think. You only think about it and nothing more.”
You sat the kit aside and I watched you play with your fingers. You seemed… upset. Hurt even. I wanted to ask you why, but I was afraid that I was going to be the cause of the answer.
“Where’s your family?” you finally asked, voice a hushed whisper.
I began to stroke my feet, watching your fingers fidget with one another. “Not here. My sister… she had a big softball tournament and I told my parents that I would be going camping with Raymond for a couple weeks. Usually they don’t let me do stuff like that, but this time they said yes. So they left me here.” I poked at my bandage, feeling the cold area where I had been bleeding. It wasn’t bad, but it would definitely take a couple days for it to recover well enough up to the point where I wouldn’t have to wear it anymore.
I bit my lip gently, voice growing soft. “Thank you… for everything you did today…”
You shook your head. “Don’t thank me.”
“But I want to…” I frowned slightly before resting my cheek on my knee. “I’m sorry for keeping you here… You should get home.”
You got up, looked at the ceiling, and started walking out. I watched you for a moment before looking down. I couldn’t hear your footsteps anymore. You must have stopped. I looked up to see you, hand hovering over the knob before you dug in your pocket, taking out your cell phone. You dialed somebody’s number and pressed it to your ear, waiting for the ringing to stop.
“Hello? Eric? Yeah, it’s me. Can you get my all my stuff? I’m gonna be staying here for a while. The address?” You sat the phone down for a moment and looked at me as if to ask what it was. I told you and you informed Eric, or whatever his name was.
“Why did you say you were going to stay here a while?” I asked.
“Because that’s what I’m going to do. You can’t just stay here by yourself. Look at what you just did to your room. Imagine what the house would be like if you were all by yourself. Nuh uh.” You wagged your finger at me, “There is no way in hell that that’s going to happen.”
I rubbed my arm and we both waited for Eric to arrive. It didn’t take him long for him to bring you your stuff. You didn’t have much with you. There were only a couple of bags with you. You must not be a shopping type of person, or you just didn’t care to buy lots of extra clothing.
“Yeah, I know, I don’t have a whole lotta stuff. Truth is, I like to pack light. Ever since I was a kid I tended to move around a lot. Went from state to state, house to house, I didn’t really stay in one place a whole lot.” I blinked and looked around before looking at you. You were talking to me. You were actually telling me something about your life. I was rather shocked at this.
“Really…? Where have you lived?” I hugged my knees, trying my best not to pick touchy subjects. My eyes were fixated on the oddly shaped pendant you had and the silver ring that both hung around your long necklace.
“It’s okay to ask questions.” You sat down next to me, your bags piled on top of one another on the floor. “I’ve lived in quite a few states actually… Florida, Illinois, Texas, Washington, and then here, California. My father’s in the navy, so we moved around a lot.” Your gaze started to grow hazy for a moment, like you were lost in a sweet memory before you shook it away. “Now tell me Miss Montero, how old are you exactly?”
“S-Sixteen.” I stammered, “I was born May 2. And how old are you?”
“Eighteen right now. I’ll be nineteen October 1.” I looked at you. You didn’t look like you were eighteen—but at the same time, you looked different from all the other guys I met and knew.
Your skin was so dark, as if you sat in the Californian sun all day, gazing up at the clouds, daydreaming of God knows what. You had the eyes of an adventurer—a man who wanted to see it all. Yet… at the same time your eyes held something locked inside. So dark and rich, like sweet Belgian chocolate they make in Germany. If I could, I would look at them all day long.
Besides the fact—it felt nice—to talk to you, even if it was just for that moment. It felt nice to have somebody here for me when I needed it the most.
“Do you have… any love interests?” I bit my lip, hoping I didn’t say anything wrong.
You rubbed the back of your neck, stretching a little. “I did for a while. I was just… tired of waiting for her. There was nothing there—a meaningless relationship.” Your fingers were playing with the ring on your necklace.
“Did she get you that?” I asked.
“No.” You said, moving your hand back down, “I think you should go to bed.” You mumbled.
I pouted slightly and nodded, holding out a pillow and blanket for you. “Goodnight then,” I whispered.
“Sleep tight, Zora.” You stroked my cheek gently in one swift move before clearing your throat, taking the pillow and blanket in gratitude, and finally you walked off. I blushed, touching my cheek gently as you walked over to the living room to make yourself comfortable on the couch.
I wanted to learn so much more about you, but there was still the invisible wall in between us, keeping me from going any further than the wall would allow me.
Dressing myself in an oversized shirt and my panties, I nestled myself in my sheets and I shut my eyes tightly. I tried everything I could do to sleep. I did everything I could to dream a good dream. For once, I wanted to dream a good dream.
When I wake up I’ll be okay and Raymond will be the one in the living room. When I wake up, everything will be back to what it once was. When I wake up, my sanity will return to me.
Everything would be okay is what I told myself. I was so stupid.