Dedicating this chapter to @Kira-Senju because she's reread this book like four times while waiting for me to update. SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, this isn't a real chapter, SUPER SORRY!!! But I missed this story and really wanted to write something for you guys so here's a high school au one-shot!!
Also, I have no idea where to go from this point on in the story send help!!!!!!!!!!! I literally love when y'all give me suggestions so help me figure out where to go for the next chapter at least, I don't want to make Hashirama find him at the Uchiha compound too fast but I also don't know how to let Tobirama chill with Madara without making it super angsty and him seeming really pitiful and self-depreciating tbh.
Izuna was officially the worst best friend ever.
On your average Friday night, Tobirama could usually be found home in bed, snuggled up in a blanket, book in hand. He liked his peaceful nights, so he was against it right off the bat when Izuna decided he wanted to throw a party. With his parents out of town for the weekend on "important business", it was deemed the perfect opportunity for them to have a little fun before graduation. The issue was that Izuna's and his definitions of fun were vastly different.
However, against his better judgement, he agreed to help Izuna with his party (he never could resist those puppy dog eyes, damn him). So there he was, spending his Friday night hot, irritated, and surrounded by people he could not give less of a crap about. The house was packed well past its limits with nearly every other student in their grade. Unlike him, Izuna was a social butterfly who flourished as the center of attention, so people tended to flock around the boy. It was a mystery why he continued hanging around Tobirama, who hated just about everyone and never left his house unless absolutely necessary. Their friendship consisted mostly of Izuna dragging him out and fueling all their conversations, while Tobirama pretended he hated the chatty companionship (though he secretly loved Izuna to death, and did not know what he would do without him).
The plan for the night was for Tobirama to stick to his friend's side like usual, using him as his extrovert shield to keep others from speaking to him, but Izuna was dragged off by the boys of the football team for shots nearly an hour ago and never returned. Tobirama waited for him near the kitchen for a while, but the large group of people that had swarmed the area in search of jungle juice sent him off searching for a quiet place to hide away until his good-for-nothing best friend turned up again (probably wasted, since the football team had a tradition of chain shots until someone passed out).
His search sent him upstairs toward the bedrooms, which were locked to keep people from breaking anything valuable. Since he wasn't a drinker, Izuna gave him the key, so it wouldn't get lost. Izuna's bedroom would be calm, quiet, and familiar, so that was his destination. He had to pass by several drunk couples (whose hands were wandering and lips were locked) to get to the door, which he passed by disdainfully. When he pulled forth the key to get into Izuna's room, he had to shoot one couple a dirty look to keep them from trying to get in. He nearly collapsed with relief against the door once inside, and shut his eyes for a minute to take in a deep breath. He truly hated parties.
"Why hello there."
The deep voice startled him so much, he couldn't stop the squeak that passed through his lips. In the corner of the room sat one very amused looking Uchiha, wearing a smug smile.
Madara Uchiha. Izuna's very attractive, very smart, asshole of an older brother, and the bane of Tobirama's existence. Since their fathers were old friends, they practically grew up together. He was two years older than Tobirama, and spent the entirety of their childhood annoying him. He was now a sophomore in college, and Tobirama hadn't seen him since before leaving his freshman year.
"What are you doing here, Mada? Shouldn't you be at school?" Pretending he didn't just squeal like a little girl, Tobirama made his way to the bed and flopped down onto it. It was much easier to talk to Madara without having to look at his annoyingly smug face.
"My parents asked me to come home and babysit Izu while they were gone. I didn't expect you to be here though, Tobi-chan."
There it was. The infuriating nickname Madara had called him since childhood. He had nearly forgotten it in the past two years since Madara left, but hearing it again brought back memories he had wished would never resurface. Memories of childhood arguments, pre-teen insecurity... and of teenage longing. Tobirama smashed his face into one of Izuna's pillows (this one smelled like lavender, the same as Madara always did).
"Couldn't you babysit him from your own bedroom? I came to Izuna's room to escape the crowd, not to spend my night with an ass." He curled into himself, hugging the pillow into his chest and peeking over the top at Madara. He found those dark eyes staring right back from the floor, and prayed that the pillow would hide the blush bubbling to the surface of his cheeks.
Madara rose from the windowsill he had been perched on and instead settled himself at the edge of the bed. "Well," he started. "My room is a bit occupied, you see. Mito had a few too many drinks, so your brother and she are in there calming down together. I wasn't going to stay for that. God knows what Hashi might try to pull, so I came to hide in here. Wasn't expecting to find you here though."
Tobirama sat himself straight up in the bed and tucked his knees in (to get more comfortable, obviously not because Madara was getting too close). He had thought it was suspicious when Hashirama came home from school for the weekend all of a sudden. Of course he should've put the clues together! The Uchiha parents were out of town, Izuna was throwing a party, and Hashirama came home without being asked-- of course he was here to see Madara! Not to mention his girlfriend Mito, who still lived in town. He sighed, knowing that he couldn't argue and send Madara back to his own bedroom. Tobirama himself had suffered through enough of Mito's sleepovers when their parents were gone, and he wouldn't force anyone else to endure that, no matter how much he disliked them. He figured he would have to accept his fate and suffer through the night with Madara.
He decided the conversation was over (too much time talking with Madara stirred up feelings he wished he could forget) so he searched the room for a distraction. He found one in the form of a hand-bound mythology book tucked into Izuna's nightstand-- one Tobirama must have left there the last time he spent the night, since he could not remember the last time Izuna willingly touched a book. He scanned the table of contents for a moment, and settled on Narcissus and Echo. The familiar story was enough to soothe his unease, and he found himself absorbed in the book very quickly. He had forgotten all about Madara until he felt the bed shift and a warm arm pressed against his own.
"What are you doing, Mada?" He dared not look away from the pages of his book, knowing Madara was probably staring straight at him.
"I'm reading the story, obviously. I'm just as bored of this party as you are, and need a good distraction." Tobirama could feel Madara shift closer, and nudged him back a bit with his elbow. Much like Izuna, he did not know the meaning of personal space. To keep him at bay, he moved the book in between them, so that Madara could read it more easily.
Some time passed like that, with the two of them enjoying a rare moment of silence between them. Most of their time together growing up had been spent arguing, or with Madara teasing him. Tobirama could not remember many times when they had simply sat together like this. Though, now that he thought about it, they had always been fine when it was just the two of them. Anytime Hashirama or Izuna had been thrown into the mix, the two of them went for each other's throats. But alone, Madara had always been much like Tobirama himself. They were both quieter-- introverts using the other's brother as an extrovert shield. But Madara was also very similar to Hashirama, and that was what built up that distance between them. He was quick tempered yet passionate, definitely a fighter. And Tobirama wasn't, which made him an easy target for Madara's taunting.
"What a douchebag."
Tobirama was so caught off guard that he couldn't control the laugh that tore from his throat. He laughed so hard his gut ached, and found himself forgetting how miserable he had been at the party just a few minutes ago. When he calmed himself down and wiped the small tears from his eyes, Tobirama turned his attention back to the book. It was turned to the last page of their story, and on the page was a drawing of Narcissus staring longingly at his reflection.
"That's funny, coming from a man who spends several hours staring into the mirror combing his hair everyday, and who rejected every girl who came his way in high school because they couldn't meet his standards. This story might as well be about you. Careful, or you might waste away in front of the mirror just like him."
"You jerk!" Madara's laugh rang low and smooth, like a fine-tuned instrument. Tobirama had always found it lovely. "And for the record, my hair only takes one hour, thank you."
The two of them laughed together, and Tobirama found himself leaning against Madara for support. It was nice, joking around together like this. Despite knowing each other their entire lives, they had never had such fun moments together. At some point, Madara's chin dropped to lean against Tobirama's head, and they sat there like that a long while, even after they had stopped laughing.
Tobirama was surrounded by the familiar scent of lavender. When Madara first started growing out his hair, he had no idea how to take care of it. It was often dry, tangled, and brittle, so Tobirama had bought him a lavender scented hair care set for his birthday. After that, he had to show Madara how to keep his hair moisturized and how to detangle it, which had been annoying at the time, but grew to be a fond memory as they grew older. The frustration on little middle school Madara's face was something he would always remember.
At some point, Madara sat up straight and Tobirama shuffled away awkwardly. He hid his embarrassment behind the book while Madara scooted off the bed and walked over to the windowsill to collect his bag. From inside, he produced two large bottles of Malibu. "Want a drink?"
Though not usually a drinker, he did not want to sit there sober while Madara drank alone. So he nodded, and Madara left the room after telling him to wait. Since the door was unlocked, a few couples poked their heads into the room, but left quickly after seeing Tobirama. When Madara returned, he had two glasses and a bottle of pineapple juice.
"The kids can have their jungle juice in solo cups," Madara said. "But we get to use the nice wine glasses." For the first time that night, Tobirama really looked at Madara. In their two years apart, Madara had changed a bit. He had grown a few inches, and his hair was significantly longer. His face had matured, and he was growing much more handsome (though he hated to admit it). But even though he had changed physically, Tobirama could tell he was the same old Madara. The same Cheshire grin, confident stance, and dark eyes. The same suave voice and melodic laugh. As he settled back on the bed and the two clinked their glasses together, Tobirama felt the same warmth radiating from him. Yes, he was still the same Madara.
Madara drank quietly while Tobirama read the book out loud for them. Two glasses in, and he started to make the occasional joke about the stories. After they were about four glasses in, they abandoned the book altogether and talked quietly. Madara told him all about college and how things had been since leaving. Apparently school had been fun thus far, but his classes kept him pretty busy, so he didn't really have a whole lot of friends. Tobirama told him about how his senior year was going, and how Izuna was still pretty much his only friend. It surprised them both to realize they were pretty much in the same boat. Seven glasses in, and they moved passed the pleasant chats and into more deep conversations. When Izuna came up, Tobirama went quiet.
"Tobi-chan?" Madara turned to look his way, but he refused to make eye contact. He knew he would only start crying. "To... Tobirama, are you alright? Did something happen between you two?" Madara reached out to grab his hand, but found it snatched away quickly. He laid there silent for a long while, watching to Tobirama try to steady his breathing and choke back tears. It seemed there was something going on.
"I..." Tobirama closed his eyes. It would be easier to talk if he couldn't see Madara's concerned eyes boring into him. "Izuna is everything to me. He's been there for me our entire lives. We've known each other forever. He's been there to lift me up when I'm down, to patch me up when I'm broken. And I appreciate everything he's done for me." A tear escaped his closed eye, and he swiped at it quickly.
"I've lived so long with Izuna that I don't think I even know what to do without him. I'm... nothing without him."
Now more tears were streaming down his face. He sat up and turned his back to Madara, trying not to let him watch him cry. Damn Madara for getting him drunk, and damn him for being so easy to talk to! Tobirama had never told anyone how he felt, not even Izuna who knew everything there was to know about him. And now that he'd said it, he realized just how true it all was. He truly wasn't anything without Izuna. Without him, Tobirama was just another antisocial jerk with no friends and no redeeming qualities. He was rude, kept everyone at a distance, and he couldn't even be nice to the few people who managed to stick with him despite all that.
"God, I really am pathetic, aren't I?" Tobirama let out a mirthless laugh. It was a hard truth that came crashing down on him all at once.
While he scrubbed furiously at all the tears that refused to stop, he felt warm hands wrap around his waist, and pull him back into a warm chest. In Madara's comforting arms, he let himself fall apart. He cried and cried until every tear in his eyes had dried up. He cried over how pathetic he felt, and all the years of miserableness he'd endure. He cried over how lonely he truly was and how lonely he knew he would always be. And all the while, Madara combed gentle fingers through his hair and whispered reassurances in his ear. Even when the tears had stopped, Madara held him close until his body stopped shaking.
"I'm sorry, Mada. I didn't want you to see me like this." Tobirama sniffled a bit and curled into himself, embarrassed that he'd just cried so hard in front of Madara. He had never wanted to show that side of himself to anyone, but now Madara had witnessed his self-loathing firsthand, in all its glory.
"What are you apologizing for?" Tobirama felt hands cupping his cheeks, and found himself face to face with one beautiful Uchiha, wearing the softest, most beautiful smile he could have imagined. "This is the most real I've ever seen you, Tobirama. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to show me." He swiped his thumb over a stray tear, then pulled Tobirama to lay back down on the bed. They faced each other on their sides this time, with Madara stroking that tear streaked face and Tobirama staring on in confusion.
After taking a long while to organize his thoughts, Madara spoke again.
"I don't think you realize just how amazing you are, Tobira." Tobirama stayed silent, surprised both by the kind words and the new nickname. "You are strong, intelligent. You're kind. For every bit you think you rely on Izuna, he relies on you just as much. He may not always say it, but my brother loves you more than life itself. You're his rock, the one who supports him no matter what. You were the only reason he's become who he is today. You were there, encouraging him to do his best no matter what. You were the one who corrected him when he was wrong, and who helped him to fix every stupid mistake he made. When he fell apart, you were there to piece him back together again. I think neither of you can exist without the other. And no matter how you look at it, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with having someone you can rely on. It's not a weakness, nor is it a curse. It's a blessing that the two of you have each other in your lives.
"And even if you don't have Izuna, you're plenty amazing on your own. I've been watching you our entire lives, and I've seen just what kind of person you are. You're the smartest person I've ever met. You're kind, and patient. God knows you had to be in order to survive both Izuna and Hashirama." At that, Tobirama couldn't help but laugh. It was true, the two of them were pains in his ass, but he loved them dearly. "There's plenty good in you, with or without my brother. In all our lives, I've never found a single thing about you that wasn't wonderful."
"Sure," said Tobirama, laughing softly to himself. "Says the boy the teased me our entire lives."
Madara smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "None of what I ever said was true."
"Oh really?" Now, Tobirama sat up. "What about all the times you picked on me for being too quiet."
"Tobi-chan, I'm just as quiet as you are most of the time. I was just being a kid."
Now Tobirama was getting a bit peeved. "Well, what about that?" He felt his face getting a bit red. Whether it was from the alcohol or the rising temper, he didn't know. "That, that wretched nickname! 'Tobi-chan, Tobi-chan'! Our entire lives."
Madara pushed himself up too, so that they were again sitting face to face. "It was funny watching my little Tobi-chan getting all worked up." That shit-eating grin only pissed Tobirama off even more.
"What about when you read my journal?"
"I was a nosy kid."
"And when you and Hashirama would tear apart my drawings?"
"Hashirama was a terrible influence."
"What about all those times you made me feel terrible about myself for how I looked? When you told me I was much too pale, and that having white hair was weird. What about all those times, Madara?" Tobirama had been sensitive nearly his entire life because of that taunting. He'd tried at first to keep it dyed, but no color ever seemed to be compatible with his pale skin, and instead made him stick out even more.
Madara reached out and rolled a pale strand between his fingers. He had an odd smile, one that Tobirama couldn't quite place. It made his heart flutter just a bit.
"Do you really want to know why I teased you? For all those years?" Madara's eyes now stared deeply into his own, and his heart pounded.
"I do."
Madara stared for a while, seeming deep in thought. Then his face scrunched up into something akin to frustration, and he shrugged his shoulders and turned away. "Too bad," he said, reaching for the book. "That's a secret I'll never tell." He nonchalantly flipped the pages like he was searching for something, then flopped onto his back to read.
This cracked Tobirama's composure. He pounced onto Madara, screaming for him to tell him the truth. Madara pushed him away one-handed, still reading and pretending to not notice. That made him even more upset, and he tried everything to get Madara to spill. He kicked and screamed to no avail. He laid on top of him, trying to smother him. Finally, he snatched the book from his hands so that he'd have nothing else to look at.
"Tell me."
"Now, now, Tobi-chan. I was reading that." He held his hands out, like he expected Tobirama to hand it back over.
He grunted unhappily and pulled the book closer to himself. "No. It's my book anyway. Tell me."
Madara ignored him, instead focused on recovering the book he'd been trying to read. "Come on, Tobi-chan. I was in the middle of my story."
Pushing him back with one leg, Tobirama spared a glance at the book. It was flipped back to Narcissus and Echo. "We read this one earlier, didn't we?"
"So what?"
"So, why are you rereading it?" Tobirama pulled his leg back in and stroked over the pages. It was flipped on the last page of the story again, the one with the drawing of Narcissus at the river.
Madara was quiet at first, but then sighed defeatedly. "Because you said something to me earlier about it. You said I was like Narcissus, remember?"
Setting the book next to him, Tobirama looked into Madara's face. He had that odd smile again, and his heart pounded harder. He nodded. "What about it?"
Slowly, Madara shifted closer. "You said I rejected every girl who ever came after me. Because they didn't 'meet my standards'. I'm guessing that's the reason Hashirama gave you." Again, Tobirama nodded. His brother had told him on many occasions that Madara never found a girl to his liking. That they must have not been pretty enough, or not smart enough. That Madara's standards must have been ridiculously high.
Again, Madara shifted closer. They were now sitting so close their legs were touching, and it took all of Tobirama's self control not to throw himself backwards and away from him. He was not used to having people that close, especially not people as beautiful as Madara.
"I guess," Madara started. "In a way, Hashirama was right. They didn't meet my standards. There was no way they could have." He reached out to tuck a stray white hair back behind Tobirama's ear. "All my life, I've only ever wanted one person. No one else could light a candle to them, so I never dated any of the girls that wanted me. It would have been cruel of me to lead them on, knowing they would never be the one I wanted." When their eyes met, Madara's stare was intense. Like he was trying to tell Tobirama something.
"While I'm answering questions, I might as well tell you why I made fun of you so long, Tobi-chan." Madara's fingers were still stroking at the pale strands of hair. "I still remember the first time I ever teased you about it. You'd asked me why I was staring, and, without any idea how to get out of the question, I told you it was because you were too pale. That it was strange, and that it made you look odd. I instantly regretted it. After that, you caught me staring often, and it was the only cover up I could think of. Even though I felt terrible saying it, I was afraid to tell you the truth of what I was thinking back then. I'm sorry, Tobira."
Flustered by the intense look in those eyes, Tobirama cast his eyes down to his hands, which were picking at the seams of his sleeve. "I don't want your apologies, Madara. I want to know the truth. What were you so afraid to tell me?"
Fingers wrapped around his chin and forced him to look up. Those dark eyes were still intense, but he now saw in them something strange. Something he could not place.
"Tobira..." Madara's hands moved to his cheeks, fingers stroking gently along his cheekbones. "Back then, all those years ago... we were still children. I was afraid not only of what you would think if I told you, but also of the strange feelings rising up within myself." His eyes darted to the side, and Tobirama knew then what that strange look had been. It was longing. "All those times you caught me looking at you, it was never because I thought you were strange. All those times, I was admiring you. Despite how afraid I was, I couldn't help but to watch you. Because even back then, well over a decade ago, when I knew nothing of what those feelings would become. I thought you were beautiful."
Every bone in Tobirama's body shook. With that confession, memories flashed through his mind, some long forgotten. Memories of long, dark hair and gorgeous smiles. Memories of stolen touches, and memories of forbidden love. Tobirama had spent his entire life longing after Madara-- wanted him more than anything. He had lived his entire life loving a boy who he thought hated him, until he finally forced those feelings deep down where he'd hoped they'd never return. But now, now, his love was being returned. After countless nights hurting, crying by himself because of a boy he thought would never return his feelings, he was being told all of that was for nothing. That the love he'd been hiding for so long in fear of rejection and of further pain could become something real.
"You idiot."
Before Madara knew what was happening, he was on his back, with a body pressed against him, and warm lips moving gently across his own. It took a moment for everything to register-- to realize that it really was white hair and pale skin and the scent of rosehips surrounding him-- before he surrendered himself entirely. Both of them were crying, but neither of them cared. They had waited far too long for this moment. They had each spent the past decade pining after each other, and they were damn sure going to enjoy this moment now that it had finally arrived.
Hands buried themselves in long locks, fingers stroked against damp cheeks. The two of them caressed each other with the gentleness of lovers. The loud music booming from the party downstairs and cheers from the high schoolers were nothing but background noise. The two of them were in their own little world, one filled with nothing but love and happy tears and relief that their feelings were being returned. Even when they stopped to breathe, they stroked along skin and smiled lovingly at each other. Finally, when the fatigue from crying and liquor and wild emotions hit them, they fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next morning, Izuna awoke in a daze. He was on the couch, several other teenagers passed out of the floor around him, and the memories hit him hard, along with one massive hangover. He had passed out late the previous night after taking shots with the football team, then partaking in several drinking contests. He searched the room with his eyes, not knowing what he was looking for. His mind was telling him that something was missing, something important, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. As he stood on shaking legs, he made his way into the kitchen for several Tylenol and a glass of water. He regretted the idea to have a party. Though it was fun while it lasted, it was not worth the pounding headache he was left with the next morning. He wished someone had told him this was a bad idea.
....
Well Tobirama had.
...
Oh..
Oh, crap!
"Fuck, Tobi!" His sudden shout rewarded him with several frustrated groans from the sleeping partygoers in the living room, but he was too busy running up the stairs in search of Tobirama (he was too out of it to really run, so it was more of a brisk walk while he tried not to topple over). By the time he made it upstairs, he was already figuring out ways to apologize, praying he wouldn't get too bad of a beating. But when he made it to his bedroom, an unlikely guest was waiting for him in the doorway.
"Hashi?"
The boy started at the calling of his name, and shushed him quickly. He waved Izuna over to the doorway, shuffling over so that he could peek inside.
Madara and Tobirama were in his bed, still sleeping. They were wrapped up tightly in each other's arms and snuggled up so close there was hardly any room between them. With arms and legs tangled together, it was almost as if they were afraid to let go.
"I guess the two of them finally confessed, huh?" Izuna started, which made his head pound painfully.
"I thought you didn't know, Hashirama? Tobi said he never told you anything, so I figured you were kind of oblivious." Izuna spared him a glance, and found an offended expression across Hashirama's face.
"Well, Tobirama is my little brother. If I didn't know I'd be a poor excuse of a sibling. And Madara and I have been best friends practically since birth, so of course he told me."
The two of them stood quietly, glancing back into the bedroom at their sleeping siblings. When Tobirama shifted and Madara instinctively pulled him closer, they both cooed at how adorable they were.
"So, they obviously didn't do anything last night," said Izuna. "So wanna make a bet?"
"We betting on who's top?"
"Obviously."
"I'm in."