Quick Message: I just wanna say I'm so sorry for taking so long with this ep! Most of you don't follow my art book, but about 2 months ago I mentioned that my phone schedule has been shortened by a lot.
I'm doing all I can to keep posting for you guys, but it's been difficult. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!
~~~~~~~~~Your POV~~~~~~~~~
The day had been like any other. The gift shop had just closed and I was behind the counter managing a few things in the cash register as Wendy sat next to me doing Wendy things, Dipper reading his journal, and Leo cleaning some shelves.
That's when Mabel came in skipping through while singing. "La la la la la- AH!!!" We all looked up startled when she began to scream, seeing her stick the the front door. "Bracers!!!! Bracers caught in the screen door!!! Someone dictate my will!!! I'm giving it all to Waddles!!!"
That's when Soon walked over with a screwdriver. "Say 'ah', girl dude."
"Ahhhhhh." He untangled her bracers, and she turned to him with a smile. "Soos, you saved me!"
He let out a chuckle. "Just doing my job, hambone. I'll see you dudes tomorrow."
"Bye, Soos!"
"Later, Soos!"
"Night, Soos."
He left the shack, and Mabel tilted her head in curiosity as she stared at the door. "You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?"
"No."
"Not really."
"Not even once."
Not gonna lie, the fact none of us have thought about it is just plain sad.
The next day, I was working on cash register duty as usual. There was a young kid, he looked about seven to eight years old. He was flipping a nickel around in his hand, and of course Stan wanted it.
I, however, was focused on Soos, who was acting weirder than he normally did. it.
"A woman!" He gasped before hiding behind the rack of clothes. I tapped Pinetree's shoulder before pointing at Soos, and he looked over as Soos peeked up at the woman. "Your face is good!!! I'm a Soos!!!"
She screamed in bloody murder before running out of the gift shop, and we shared a glance of confusion before walking over.
"Soos? What was that about?" I tilted my head.
He fiddled around a bit nervously. "I-... I think that was flirting? But I'm not sure.."
That's when Mabel popped her head out of the barrel she was hiding in with a wide smile. "Did someone say flirting?!?"
"Well, I sorta promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before!" Soos took the Out of Order sign from the nearby vending machine and placed it on him. "You belong on me, Out Of Order sign..."
"Finally, my prayers for a chance to matchmake this summer have been answered!!!"
We all then turned to Stan as he spoke. "Soos, a little advice: you need to get rich! Or lie about being rich. Outside of that I don't like your chances."
I rolled my eyes. "Ignore him, Soos. You're an awesome guy! Stable job, great personality, you've got nothing to worry about!"
"Soos, you help us so much that it's time we help you, dude! We're gonna get you that date!" Dipper added with a smile.
Mabel placed her hands on her hips. "We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die!0
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"To the mall!!!" Mabel yelled as she spread her arms, Dipper, Leo, and I standing beside Soos who looked around a bit nervously.
Stan looked to the side. "I'm gonna go find a replacement for old Goldie, babysit Soos while I'm gone."
Mabel looked around. "Alright, Soos, are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor unsuspecting ladies?!?"
"Uh, but what if I embarrass myself again?!"
"Don't worry, Soos, we'll be with you every step of the way! And besides, if Dipper can get a girl, then so can you!"
"Yeah! Wait, wha..?" Leo and I both snickered at Dipper's reaction.
I walked over and placed kiss on his cheek. "Nah, he did good."
He smiled, his cheeks a bit pink.
You: *snort holding a laugh*
Mabel then blew her whistle. "And..... FLIRT!!!"
The four of us spend hours helping Soos try and flirt with women, but no matter what he tried nothing seemed to work. It was actually pretty sad, I felt bad for him.
After a while, we decided to take a break. We sat down in front of the Beebly Blop's video game store, keeping an eye out.
Mabel opened a little ball from the surprise machine. "Don't worry, Soos, you'll find the right girl! You just need to..." She showed him the little sticker she got. "Stick with it!"
She laughed at the pun, but Soos only sighed. "Could this day get any worse...?"
As his words left his mouth, he saw a man and woman who were walking through the mall, his eyes widening in fear. "Oh no, cousin Reggie!! He can't see me like this, I gotta hide!!" And then ran inside the video game store.
Leo let out a sigh. "Damm, poor Soos.."
"There's gotta be a way to help him get a date by the end of the week." Dipper added as he looked down in thought.
Mabel thought about it too, and ran inside the store, the three of us following. We saw Soos laying against an isle with a game on his hands. This one had a picture of an anime girl with bright pink hair, a massive bow, and a school uniform; I could tell it was some anime dating sim.
"Virtually improve your dating skills!!! Nine out of ten basic dwellers recommend!!! This is perfect!!!" He read.
I have a shrug. "Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting."
Mabel smiled brightly. "Anything to get you out there, Soos!!!"
"Uh, I don't recommend buying that game." We all turned to the worker as she spoke with a serious tone. "This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says 'Destroy at all cost'."
"So hey there, what's your deal? Like a-" He poked the woman cardboard cutout, making it fall over. "Oh, she's dead!!!"
"... We'll take our chances." Mabel replied.
I won't lie, something definitely felt off about that game, and I could tell Leo sensed it to. Not to mention we already had bad luck with another video game not earlier this summer.
He took it home anyways, but I couldn't help the bad feeling that formed in the pit of my stomach..
The next day I was free from work, Wendy had the shift the rest of the day. Apparently Stan wanted to buy some animatronic badger thing, said they'd help him gain more customers.
Eesh, I've always hated those things. They creep me out.
We had been looking for Soos since we were heading to the mall again. However, he was nowhere to be seen.
Strange, he has never missed a day if work.
We ended up going to his house, and his grandma told us he was in his room. He was stuck to his chair, laughing at his computer, eyes frozen wide. It was a scary sight to see, like someone who had just found a new addiction.
"So that's basically my entire life story! Now you tell me a thing about you!" He smiled at his computer, where the girl from the video game cover stood.
"Every time you compliment me, I get another highlight in my eyes!"
"Uh, you're pretty! And pixel-y!! And so agreeable!!!"
The girl gasped each time as more highlights appeared in her eyes, soon lowering a fist in accomplishment. "Yes!!!"
Mabel tilted her head. "Uh.. Soos?"
He finally turned to us. "Oh hey, dudes, come in!!! This game is amazing!!! I'm making eye contact, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for thirteen hours!!!"
Dipper kicked a small can that was by the door in disgust, and Leo crossed his arms. "Well, if that's the case, maybe it's time you use these skills on, you know, real women."
"But I'm about to meet her parents!!!" He leaned closer to us, whispering. "Her dad is an octopus man!!!"
I rolled my eyes, walking over and opening the curtains, letting in the sunlight. He screamed and hiss, as if he were a cat who just touched water, hiding under his desk.
Dipper pulled him out by his arm. "We're going back to the mall, man! You need to unplug!" And continued to drag Soos to the door.
Soos kept yelling at his computer in sadness. "I'll see you later, •GIFfany!!! I'll be back, I swear!!!"
Mabel let out a laugh. "Soos, you don't have to wish her goodbye, it's just a game! It's not like it's going anywhere!"
I gave one last glance at the game before closing the door, following the others. Have all of you forgotten what happened with Rumble McSkirmish?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mabel looked around with a glare. "Dang, where are all them sweet honeys at?!? (y/n), let's check the ladies bathroom!!!"
Without waiting for my reply, she ran into the bathroom and yelled with a megaphone. "IT'S LOVE TIME, GIRLS, GET OUT THERE!!! NO TIME TO WATCH YOUR HAND!!! DATE!!! DATE!!! DATE!!!"
All the women ran out screaming in terror, the rest of us standing there, praying no one knew we knew this girl.
What Leo sees in her, I will never know.
Dipper let out a sigh. "And here comes security." He turned to Soos. "We'll deal with this, you stay here and and practice on some real women."
After we finally calmed things down with the police, I noticed Soos driving a little kid train, the ones that move when you place quarters in them, laughing.
He then turned when he heard a woman let out a soft laugh, who froze a bit. "Oh! Sorry." She walked over to him. "Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that! You're totally like owning it!"
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm like if it's fun uh, do it, you know?"
"Exactly! Being an adult is the worst! Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills, I just want to ride tiny trains all day!"
"Well, at least you get to work at Meat-Cute, extreme lunch meat are the food of the future!"
"I feel the same way! I'm Melody, by the way." She offered to shake his hand, gently which he did.
"Oh, I'm Soos! I tell you, if you like robots for kids you should check out the best restaurant of all time."
"You mean-"
"Hoo-ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!!!" They both exclaimed in synch. Oh my God, they were both adorable dorks!
The woman called Melody fiddled with her ponytail. "What?! You've heard of Hoo-ha Owl's?! I loved that place when I was a kid!!"
"Oh, yeah, dude! There's one right in this mall! I should show you some times!"
"I'm... free around eight..!"
"Boom, done!"
"Perfect! I'll see you then!" She gave Soos two quarters for the train and waves goodbye before leaving.
Soos waved back with a smile. "What a nice lady! Well, back to riding this tiny train for children!"
Mabel immediately tackled Soos to the ground as we all ran over. "WOO!!! SOOS!!!"
Dipper smiled brightly. "We saw the whole thing, Soos!!!"
"That was amazing!!! You talked to a real girl!!!" I exclaimed.
Leo gave him a thumbs up. "And you got a date!!!"
"I did?"
"AH, AH!!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!" She yelled before falling unto the floor.
"You were in the zone, you made eye contact, it was like you've done this a million times before!" Dipper added.
"I guess that game really worked!"
"Yeah, you don't need it anymore!" I added to Leo's sentence.
Mabel adding to mine. "Yeah, you can toss it out!"
"Toss it?!?" Soos stood up, his expression saddened. "But I like •GIFfany, she's good to me!!! She's predictable!!!"
Leo let out a sigh, looking at him serious. "Soos, can a computer game go to Reggie's engagement party with you?"
That seemed to get to him, and he decided to throw out the game. Later on, we decided to go to Hoo-ha Owl's with Soos, you know, just to make sure everything went okay. We were outside the restaurant 'helping' Soos.
Mabel stared at him with a glare and a smile. "You can do it, Soos! Just remember what your love crew taught you! How does she look?!"
"Nice!!!"
"What are her stories?!"
"Interesting!!!"
"And who's gonna pay for dinner?!"
"Soos is!!!"
"Now... date!!!" Dipper yelled as Mabel blew an airhorn, Soos running into the restaurant.
We all followed him inside and sat on a table near the one Soos and Melody were at. We needed to see what happened, just incase anything got out of hand.
Melody looked around. "Man, I could go for some complimentary breadsticks right now!"
Soos laughed a bit. "Um, one time I was so hungry I ate the decorational bamboo sticks at a Chinese restaurant. ... Like a big old panda." He sang as he pat his stomach.
Melody laughed. "You are hilarious!"
"Well, you know, I just sorta say whatever pops into my uh..." He then looked at at something in the distance, which made him spit out his water in shock, coughing.
"Soos, are you okay?" Melody asked in concern.
"No! I-I'm fine, everything's fine!" He looked at the monitors above Melody, his face showing panic.
"Are you sure? You're spitting an awful lot!"
"Uh, could you sit tight? I have to go to the bathroom for a long time! Not in a weird way!!" He then ran over and sat on our table, wiping his sweat away as he let out a heavy sigh.
I raised an eyebrow. "Soos? Why are you here?"
"Yeah, you should be over there!!!" Mabel yelled.
Soos looked at us in terror. "I got a big problem, guys!!! I'm being stalked by •GIFfany!!!"
"•GIFfany?!?"
"Or maybe it's pronounced •JIFfany? I was never really sure."
Leo let out a sigh. "Soos, get a grip on yourself. •GIFfany can't stalk you because she's not real."
"Guys...?" I pointed at the monitors above us, where •GIFfany stared at us with an innocent look, though it sent chills up our spines.
"Uh-oh."
Dipper looked at Soos. "Take it from someone who brought an arcade game to life, this will not end well."
"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she's stuck on tv screens." Soos replied, not so confident about it.
"•GIFfany then passed through many arcade game screens, defeating a few other characters, and going behind the stage curtains through an electric current.
"Oh boy." Soos quickly hurried over to Melody. "So hey, anyway, you wanna move this date into the forest far away from all electronics and people?"
"What? But the floor show's about to start!"
The lights had turned off at that point, and the curtains opened to reveal many animatronics robot. Everything seemed normal, even with the already terrifying animatronics, until the leader, Hoo-ha the Owl, was turned off.
Electricity went from him to the girl chipmunk in the back. Her eyes were now glowing red, and that's when things started to get really out of hand....
"Hello, friends!!! Hoo-ha the Owl is dead!" She spoke in a cutesy voice, people starting to grow nervous. She then pointed at Soos. "This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos!"
Melody turned to him. "Soos, what's going on?"
"No time to explain, we gotta get out of here!!!" He grabbed Melody's wrist, starting to run away with her as we followed, many people leaving the restaurant. However, as we were about to leave, the doors closed and locked on us, trapping us inside.
•GIFfany smiled. "Sorry, Soos, you can't run away from our relationship!" She zapped a machine, which started throwing balls in our direction. Leo and I quickly formed some shields, but from all the hits they were getting, they started to break.
Hey, I'm only 13, I'm doing the best I can here!
Soos quickly tilted over an arcade machine, letting us hide behind it before our shields broke, and I could already sense Melody's shock before Soos turned to her. "So about all this, I may have purchased a dating simulator that obtained sentient and went crazy."
"Oh, I am crazy! Crazy for you, Soos!" •GIFfany began walking over, throwing electricity.
I had already started forming fireballs for the battle, and Leo had a black aura around him.
Melody let out a scream as her hair caught a bit of fire, Soos quickly patting it out. "Oh no!!! I'm so sorry, Melody!!! I'll fix this, it's me that she wants!!! I'll distract her while the others keep you safe!!! It's the only way!!!"
"Soos, these are children!"
"The only wayyyyy!!!" He climbed over the machine, running past •GIFfany as the balls hit him. "Over here, •GIFfany!!!"
"Stop!!!"
We lost track of him, and Dipper turned to us. "On three we split! One, two, -!"
One of the robots slashed the arcade machine in half, and we all ran off our separate ways. We all did our best to fight them off, I even came up with a spell to quickly disassemble them, but one of them ended up taping my mouth shut, and tying us up against the wall.
We could see Soos panicking, not knowing what to do, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I could see Soos throwing stuff at •GIFfany, who avoided them with ease.
That's when Soos grabbed the disc and burned it in the oven, making •GIFfany disappear and the robot she used as a body melt down. The robots who kept watch of us deactivated and, and we all fell into the ball pit.
I took off the tape, looking around.!The place was a complete disaster! But hey, at least we were all okay.
Sort of.
Soos and Melody sat on a couch as we were close by, and he let out a sigh. "I'm sorry for all this, I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid."
"Believe it or not, I've been on worse dates."
"Really?"
She looked at him with a serious expression. "Never date a magician."
"Ew, why would I?"
She playfully slapped Soos's arm, both of them laughing, and then his eyes lit up. "Oh hey, you wouldn't maybe be interested in coming to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers!"
"Yeah, I'll still be in town then!"
"Still be in town?"
"I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks, but we can video chat if that's okay with you."
"A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer; sounds perfect!"
We all smiled, and Mabel raised her arms in a cheer. "Spirit of love, we did it!!!"
That's when Soos's grandma popped up beside us, making us jump a bit. "Yes, yes, I am so happy!"
Leo raised an eyebrow. "Have you been following us all day?"
"Soos's life is my soap opera."
After that, we all decided to head back home. However, as I started walking away, Dipper took my hand, making me look back in confusion.
"Hey, uh.. (y/n)..?"
"What's up?"
"There's.. um.. w-well.."
I waited for whatever he wanted to say. But he let go, giving a sheepish smile. "I-it's nothing, I'll see you at work tomorrow."
"Um, okay..?" I placed a kiss on his cheek. "See ya."
What was it he wanted to tell me..?
Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!
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