Life #5000
"Nearly there!" Naruto proclaimed, all but skipping along at her side as they ventured onwards. The weather was growing colder with what felt like every step northward they took. "I'm gonna be part of the advance party," he said, smiling no doubt at the thought of possibly encountering their third team member from their previous life. Well, Naruto's previous life. Sakura had no idea which cycle that was for her, if she had indeed even been present. There were far too many spent as Naruto's teammate, and her dear blonde friend was too similar for most of those lives.
"I will be following up after you then," Sakura remarked, wondering what sort of frozen hell awaited them as the chilly winds nipped at her nose and fingertips yet again. Sometimes she really wished she could use her chakra without speeding up her demise. Cursed mortal bodies, and her cursed strength of soul which always wore out the forms in that world which she wore after Life Three-Thousand and its tragic ending. "Do not let your guard down though, Naruto," she warned, feeling a terrible sense of foreboding and, alarmingly enough, familiarity the further north they ventured.
Because the northernmost lands were under dragon rule, infested with descendants of those who had lived in the duration of both Life Two-Thousand and Three-Thousand. She had defied time and space there, by being born in her three-thousandth cycle before she had died in her two-thousandth. Though she hadn't dared to find her other self, knowing already that her past self would only care about death and killing. Sakura wasn't delusional enough to have believed she would have been capable of listening to such a tale as her own in Life Two-Thousand. It was odd what hindsight was capable of. And all the regrets it brought to the table.
"I'll be fine, Sakura!" he said, and she could only sigh at the name she had borne for so many lifetimes other than the one she was in. There she was Lothien, though Lothien wasn't all that she outwardly seemed. "You know what I'm capable of now – I was Hokage!"
"Indeed you were," she murmured, thinking back on those many lifetimes where Naruto had achieved his lifelong dream. And then promptly realised that paperwork was the bane of his existence. A fond smile curved at her lips, the ghosts of a chuckle escaping her then, and she could only turn to the sun, not wanting Naruto to see as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. She was so very tired, and so very old. Truly, she was weary of the world, tired of gaining everything only to lose it when the cycle came to an end. Naruto was but a child compared to her, and she reminded herself to be careful of sounding too condescending when trying to rein her dear friend in. He didn't know that world like she did.
She had seen that world at its worst, when blood had been spilt, and she had been on the side of the enemy in her reckless hate which had long since subsided. Naruto had arrived in that world in a relatively tame time compared to the First Age, when dragons and balrogs had been the chief threats. That battle was long passed though, on lands sunk under waves, not to be seen again until the alleged final days were upon them.
Knowing her luck, and how her lives had gone so far, she would likely exist beyond that time, when everyone she had come to love was lost. She thought of golden hair, she thought of her sister and her father. Both the father of Telpeniel and the father of Moriel. Her heart panged at the thought, and Sakura rubbed at the spot, pausing there for a few moments before she continued walking.
"What's the matter?" Naruto peered over at her, concern marring his expression, and she shook her head then.
"Nothing to worry over," she said, sighing softly as she wondered just what she was heading towards. Was there really anything but pain on the path she was travelling down? Was there even an ending to the road laid out before her? Sakura could only hope, but her hope, as proven over numerous lifetimes, was a precious, fragile, little thing. It was a wonder it had survived so long, but Sakura knew what it was like to be without hope. And so she wholeheartedly preferred to cling to that fragile blossom of hope.
Naruto didn't look convinced, but then again he hadn't believed her when she told him she had lived five thousand lives. She could hardly explain herself without involving the matter of her being a centuries old being who viewed him and his tendencies with a fondness reminiscent of a grandparent watching over their grandchild. She chuckled at the comparison, smiling then as the worry seemingly fled from his face.
In fact, her worry for him was probably more of a pressing concern, all things considered. After all, he was to be the one who ventured off before her – where she couldn't protect him. Then again, he was old enough by mortal standards to be responsible for his own safety. Sakura couldn't help but worry though, given how she truly did want to enjoy this latest cycle to the fullest. And what better way to distract herself from her love for a certain golden-haired elf than to think and build on a friendship with a blonde boy who had lived twice. "I would be far more concerned for your own safety," she remarked, bringing back some life to the quiet which had settled down between them. Like there was an insurmountable distance between them all of a sudden. In a way, Sakura supposed that was a rather accurate view. There was a distance between them, compared to her very first life, where they had both been so innocent and naïve.
"Sakura!" he groaned, pouting then, and Sakura could only snigger at the urge to poke those whiskered cheeks she knew so well. "We can still use chakra," he said, heedless of the way she stiffened at those words, because she couldn't. She was incapable of using chakra if she wanted to live to a decent age. "And I don't think the rest of these people here can so—"
"Chakra doesn't make you invincible here," she warned, dark eyes clashing with the sky blue ones. "Do not make that mistake."
"I know." Naruto rolled his eyes at that, no doubt used to lectures from Kakashi on that very subject. After he had become Hokage, or so Sakura vaguely recalled – she had watched him lecture too many times to be unable to dredge up such a memory. "But those orc creatures are super weak, so long as there aren't too many of them."
"There are other creatures, Anorion," she cautioned, voice losing its playful edge, and she stared at her dear friend with the weight of her five thousand cycles behind her. "Older creatures from an age long past. Creatures whose strengths are on another plane compared to orcs." Like dragons, like balrogs, though the latter were fortunately gone from Arda. "You would do well to heed this warning – do not walk into the pass unaware of what could bear down upon you, else doom will befall you and all hope will be lost."
"Sakura?" Naruto stared at her then, a hesitant smile upon his lips, and Sakura felt dread weigh down upon her gut. She wasn't an elf then, so surely it wasn't possible for her to speak of prophecies. She was mortal, and it was just those worries which had come across in that confusing formal speech.
"Worry not about my words," she mumbled, shoulders sinking. "Just be cautious when you venture ahead of me, so that we might meet again."
"Neh, Sakura, is it me, or are you getting more funny with your words?" he asked, and Sakura laughed. Truly she had lived far too many lifetimes speaking as a feudal princess would. She'd had far too few elven life cycles. She wouldn't have minded a few more. But then, she supposed, the pain of leaving would only become that much greater.
::
Life #7000
She eventually walked into Imladris under her own steam, all the while cursing her big mouth as she wished the earth would just swallow her up already and free her from the intense grey-eyed scrutiny she had been under for the many days it had taken for them to reach that particular elven realm. The fire she had played with was on a course to burn her, and Sakura could only bemoan her lack of restraint when it came to the focus of her affections.
Not that he would know of it, if she had any say in the matter. It was cruel, no matter the depth of her feelings there, because she would leave him eventually – and elves only married once. Finwë was an exception. And so she couldn't be selfish, and she couldn't cling to him when only death after death awaited her in those lands and many others.
Familiar, distinct elvish architecture met her gaze as she entered the valley, hairs on the back of her neck still determinedly up on end as grey eyes remained fixed on them. Aravir at her side, she remained silent as the Lord of Imladris bade them welcome. And the Lord of Imladris was unnervingly familiar to her, despite not having interacted much with the fellow before. Sakura didn't understand why, nor, frankly, did she want to.
Really, she wanted nothing more than to vanish on the spot – to disappear into the wilds with her chieftain at her side, but life was a cruel thing, or so she learnt as Elrond turned to Aravir and said, "Lady Galadriel heard of your coming here, and bade me to ask if your young companion would meet with her."
Aravir blinked then. "Lady Galadriel is here?"
"Indeed." He inclined his head, and Sakura barely concealed the flinch as yet another pair of elven eyes fixed upon her. There was curiosity in those eerily familiar eyes – where had she seen them before?
"What business might she have with Glosuien?" Aravir asked, and Sakura remained gloriously blank-faced – the way only an elf usually could after years upon years of practice. It made it excellent fun when someone unaware of that fact challenged her to a game of poker. Dimly, Sakura wondered whether they had gotten around to inventing that game there as of yet. She didn't recall ever having a game there, but then perhaps she had been too busy mooning over her ill-fated crush.
"I can hazard a guess," Sakura said, feeling completely done with subtlety at that point. Most things involving Galadriel were anything but, prideful and headstrong as her sister was. "Might I ask where she is waiting?" she asked, staring pointedly at the dark-haired elf before her, studiously ignoring the blonde one still at her other side whose gaze was still boring daggers into her. "I do not wish to keep her waiting too long." She knew she would only get more of an earful if she kept her 'elder' sister waiting too long. Which was part of the reason she was acquiescing to her sister's demand so easily. And make no mistake it was a demand. Sakura barely contained the eyeroll, the events of their last meeting still so very vivid in her memories despite the numerous years passed.
She stepped forwards then, and Elrond fell in step with her, leading the way to where her last family on that side of the Belegaer waited. Silently, she followed the dark-haired elf, grateful to leave behind the other elf she could never have, along with his discerning stare. Truthfully, she was grateful for the lack of conversation, caught up in the haze of worries and wonderings about what her sister wanted of her.
Probably to get her on a ship to Valinor, but that was a bit of a moot point by that time. Her body wouldn't last much longer at all. In fact, she would probably be lucky to get out of Imladris before she turned to ash, and that would be it. Though it meant at least there would be no curious elves asking why she had burst into flames like Fëanor. The one whose orders had resulted in her death in the kinslaying. Her lip curled as she followed Elrond up the stairs, and into a large office – where a familiar figure waited.
She wore white, as she had so often, but rather than the tunic and pants she had favoured while exploring the many places of Aman with her, she was dressed in a long flowing dress instead. But her sister suited anything, much to her annoyance. Sakura, herself, had never managed to pull the same look off. The red colour she had once loved so much no longer suited her original appearance in that world. Though she didn't half look dashing in it in her current form – a bold splash of colour amidst the monochrome style she had going on.
"Well," Sakura drawled before Elrond could even speak a single word in greeting, raising an eyebrow at her last piece of family in those lands as she stepped further into the room. But it wasn't as though she was in those lands waiting for her, rather she enjoyed ruling over her golden wood far too much. "You called?"
Familiar silvery grey eyes fixed upon her. Her own eyes should have been an even brighter silver. "There are ships waiting in the bay of Mithlond—"
"Are we really having this conversation here?" Sakura asked, cutting off her sister, earning a raised and slightly alarmed eyebrow from the dark-haired elf who lingered in the doorway. "Are you so eager as to have me banned from another elven realm when our tempers inevitably flare?"
There was a sliver of a wince which soon flashed upon her sister's face, and Sakura delighted in it. Truly, they both knew the best way to get under each other's skin – part of the package and parcel of being siblings. "If you would recall, you threatened to burn my wood to the ground," Galadriel said, neither of them paying attention to the elf behind them who was growing steadily more alarmed and confused as their conversation continued. Though really, Sakura mused, who wouldn't be confused by their conversation without the context? She was Laethiel, Galadriel's lost little sister, and it was that bond between them which always enabled her elder sister to find her when she incarnated there. Though admittedly, there were plenty of lives where they hadn't encountered each other properly. Life Two Thousand being chief amongst them, considering her sister hadn't been burnt to a crisp. "And we both know you are capable of burning trees down to cinder."
It was Sakura's turn to wince, what with Life Two Thousand being a painful blight upon her record. "We both know that remark was said only in anger, just as your declaration to ban me forevermore from your wood was," she said, running a hand through her hair then. "Though what you inevitably seem to forget is that I cannot simply venture to Mithlond and request passage – or do you forget I am mortal now?"
"Indeed, it is a rather difficult fact for one to miss," her sister said, and Sakura gritted her teeth at the insult almost hidden within that statement. "All the more reason for you to beg for aid, lest you wish to vanish once more from this world as you so often do."
"My," Sakura spat back. "It almost sounds as though you wish for me to move on yet again. Such cruel words for you to say, or perchance have you forgotten that I would be your dearest younger sister? Perhaps the effect of your age, or mayhap your inflated sense of pride is clouding your vision so?"
"Your tongue is as poisonous as ever, I hear," Galadriel said, an equal amount of venom layered on the words there. She knew Life Two Thousand was a terrible sore spot. "Tell me, how do your other kin fare in the lands north?"
"Sister," she spoke, a terrible fake smile which could put Sai's to shame resting on her lips in that instant. "Do you really wish to talk about kinslayings?"
Silence fell between them, heavy and tense, and dimly, Sakura wondered when things had really started going wrong between her and her dearest sister. Probably around the time she threatened to burn her sister's home to the ground, but that was said and done. Yet another something she could regret and nonetheless never take back.
"No," her sister murmured, eyes haunted, and Sakura found herself wondering just how deeply her death and disappearance had affected her family. "I do not."
Anger drained from her like a plug had been pulled, chakra surging beneath her skin, thrumming and on the verge of bursting out. Her time was near. She had enough regrets from her last conversation with her sister – though it really was more of Galadriel demanding that she head on to Aman, and her being obstinate and refusing. Because she couldn't sail. It was not her fate to dwell in those blessed lands. She somewhat doubted it would ever be her fate to dwell peacefully in her once-homeland. "Tell me," she mumbled, a soft, fond smile pulling at her lips then. "Did you ever figure out the answer to that riddle I asked of you so long ago?" she questioned, having never been able to forget that hint she had given to her second favourite sibling. Finrod would forever be her favourite, what with her many memories of him tucking her in when bedtime came about for the young elf she had once been. He had sung when the nightmares and bad memories came, and often driven them off.
"No," she replied, the anger having drained from her own voice too. "I never could quite work that one out. Truly, it seems that riddle is beyond me..."
A ghost of a chuckle left her lips. "Then let there be another hint," she said, eyes glimmering with mischief and sorrow. "Though you were born before me, I am infinitely older, and each time I perish in this world, when I return, the disparity between our ages will only have grown larger."
"Why must you always enjoy speaking in riddles?" Galadriel asked, and Sakura knew her sister well enough to discern she was rather tired of that matter. Not to mention the enjoyment of such riddles was rather telling of the creature she had been in Life Two Thousand – and she doubted either of them wished to dwell on the memories involving that. Sakura had ventured into her sister's realm – she had seen the large painting depicting her slaying all those many moons ago.
"Because, dearest sister," she murmured, hating the tears she could feel biting at the corners of her eyes as she recalled everything before Life One Thousand, and the beginning of everything. "Sometimes the truth is far too painful to be told plainly."
"You do enjoy being so terribly difficult at times, do you not?" her sister muttered, shaking her head then. "Will you not go to Mithlond then – even if I plead and beg this of you?"
Sakura shook her head. It was already far too late to try any of that. A wry smile curved her lips. "It would be terribly unsightly of you, and terribly out of character too, for you to beg and plead, sister. Your pride would not allow it so, and neither do I wish to see such a sight, as amusing as it might be."
"Is it wrong for me to wish you safe?" Galadriel asked, and Sakura could only sigh once more as the circular argument began once more.
"My hair is dyed black along with my eyes," Sakura muttered, closing her eyes to avoid the accusing stare which bore into her so. "You know why this is so, and you know why I cannot return to Aman with this blight still upon me."
Her eyes widened then. "You know of your Doom?"
Sakura could only blink. She had a Doom set upon her? Her throat was dry then, and she swallowed. "No," she declared, shaking her head. "I do not think I would wish to—"
"There may be leniency should you decide to wait there until your Hour comes," Galadriel said, stepping forwards then, fingers curling around her shoulders as Sakura only stared up at her in blatant confusion. She hated being mortal and short. "It cannot hurt for you to ask this..."
"Even if I was to sail there would be no point," Sakura grumbled, so beyond done with trying to explain things to her obstinate yet concerned relative. Her hands grasped at the ones upon her shoulders, gently pushing them away back towards their owner. "I am dying, sister, and not the way mortals often do."
A crack snaked its way up from her collar, dark lines branching over her skin as she burnt from inside out, skin finally giving out under the weight of her soul as it was wont to do. It always onset so suddenly, though given her recent burst of chakra use she could hardly be too surprised at the end result. She wouldn't be making it out from Imladris before her untimely demise then, or so it seemed. Sakura only sighed, shoulders sinking then.
"This body cannot contain my power so," she said, gaze flickering to the floor. She didn't want to see horror nor worry upon her sister's face as she crumbled to ash yet again. "None of them can."
Fire flickered out from one of the cracks set upon her skin, a roaring inferno burning in her ears.
"Until next time, sister," she murmured, bursting into flames, silently lamenting the fact that the elves would have to clean up her remains desecrating the pristine office.
And then, rather abruptly, it was onto Life Number Seven Thousand and One.