You were anxious to find out why he wanted to meet up at a diner. His message seemed so urgent, like he wanted to tell you something, or maybe just shout at you like you did to him.
You checked the weather on your phone- 56 degrees- so you threw on a knit sweater and a pair of dark washed mom jeans, completing the outfit with your white high top converse.
You left your hair as is, letting your it fall over your shoulders. You opted for simple makeup, not wanting to apply much at ten in the morning.
You applied mascara onto your lashes and brushed on a small amount of blush onto your cheeks, running mint lip balm over your lips.
You grabbed your bag and keys and walked out of the door, locking it behind you. It was 9:40 and the diner was 15 minutes away. Perfect.
You got into your car and turned it on, driving out of the parking lot and onto the road. You grew nervous as the time passed by, the clock ticking closer and closer to 10 o'clock.
It was difficult to read Spencer, he was private and remained to himself, but yet again you were the same way. The team always wondered why you didn't understand him, why a genius couldn't connect with another genius, but that was simply not how it worked.
You gripped the steering wheel as you turned into the parking lot, your knuckles turning white. You parked in the far corner of the diner so you could give yourself time to calm down.
You unbuckled your seatbelt and grabbed your bag, taking in a shaky breath. You opened the car door and walked out, the cold air hitting your face like a bus.
You rethought your choice as you walked up to the entrance, a tall man holding the door open for you. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to immediately give in, but you just wanted to hear what he had to say.
The smell of breakfast foods filled your nose, the clattering of silverware against plates booming in your ears. You spotted Reid towards the back of the diner, sitting in a small booth, his hands set out in front of him.
You slowly paced over to him, feeling your legs wobble. You tapped the table lightly, catching his attention as you scooted into the booth.
"Are you hungry?"
You shook your head, "I'm fine," you pursed your lips, placing your hands on the table, beginning to pick at your cuticles again.
"Those are your favorite words." He said, his shoulders sagging, "You've said them seven hundred and thirty times since you joined the BAU."
"You actually pay attention," you stated in a monotone voice.
"I always do."
I always do? You thought, knitting your eyebrows together in a lack of understanding. Did he pay attention to you because he wanted to fire back any chance he got or because he was genuinely interested in you?
"Do you need anything?" you broke the silence, your eyes glancing down at Reid who was in a navy blue crew neck, his hair disheveled, like he just woke up.
"I can't have breakfast with you?"
You rolled your eyes, "You hate me Reid."
"No I don't." He grinned as he took a sip from his coffee. You wanted to knock that devilish grin from his face- the way his lips turned up to the point where he looked just like the grinch.
"You know- if you want me to leave, I will. I'll ask Prentiss for the resignation papers on Monday." You breathed out.
You were exhausted from arguing back and forth, the constant retaliation between you every single day, even if there wasn't a case. It kept you on your toes but as time passed by, it only crushed you further into dust.
"That's not what I want."
"Then i'll leave," you pressed your lips into a thin line, noticing the change in expression on Reid's face as you got up from the booth.
You walked out of the diner in a hurry and raced to your car, being stopped by a rough grip on your wrist. You swiftly turned over to face Reid, his eyes turning a color you hadn't seen in a long time.
"Look, I don't want to argue with you so i'll tell you this," You gazed down to his lips, quivering in what was either nervousness or anger, "I have looked into your eyes every single day since I joined the team and they have gotten darker and darker to the point where I can't even read you anymore." Your eyes traveled down to his hand, his grip still tight around your wrist.
"And i've tried to help you, but you've shut me out. I don't know if it's because of Cat or.... whatever, but i'm not Cat. So Spencer, you think about what you want and you tell me when you're ready, m'kay?" you stepped back and took one last look at him, his body lurching forward into yours, your hands hovering over his body for a short moment.
You were in shock. He was in pain and as much you didn't fully understand why, you didn't bother to ruin the moment. You didn't need him to give you an answer, it was obvious by the way he squeezed you tightly.
He pulled away after a long minute, his eyes bouncing to the trees behind you in awkwardness. "Sorry."
You shook your head, pivoting on the balls of your feet as you intertwined your hands in front of yourself. A new feeling emerged in your stomach; it wasn't butterflies, it wasn't a feeling you would cry from, it was a happy feeling. You were glad he hugged you. You were exhilarated.
"Still hate you a little," you laughed, shaking the awkward tension to the side.
"Don't worry I do too." He mirrored your smile, the corner of his lips turning up to show his small dimple.
"You need a ride?"
"No- No I drove here."
You knitted your eyebrows, a laugh jumping from your throat, "You drove here? Spencer Reid can drive?"
He rolled his eyes, stepping back slowly, "I can. You wanna see my license?" he shoved his hand in his pocket, taking his wallet out.
"Go. Don't kill any kids on the road."
You grabbed your own keys and opened your car door, stepping in and turning it on, checking to see if Reid had left before leaving yourself.
It was weird to see him treat you any different than sour and belligerent. You weren't complaining, but the wave of kindness that just hit you came out of the blue. No one would believe his change in attitude, including the team.
+++
"So you aren't talking to Luke anymore?" popped Penelope, taking a sip from the margarita Tara made for her.
You poured yourself a glass of white wine, your face scrunching up in confusion towards her remark. "I never talked to him. We kissed once."
The girls jaws dropped, their eyes opening wide, JJ almost spitting out her drink.
"Oh my god how was it? Was it good?" Penelope continued, leaning forward, her drink swishing in her glass.
"Besides the fact that I cried, it was good," you took a sip from the drink in your glass, everyone's eyes popping out from their sockets by now. You looked around at them, pursing your lips as you realized they couldn't read your mind.
"Spencer."
"Ah." They spoke in sync, Penelope's mouth opening up like she was going to ask more questions about the kiss. After all, she did spend the time you would hangout in her cave talking about how sexy and toned he was and how he was an "angel sent from heaven."
"Have you figured out why he's been acting like such a bitch-boy since you joined the team?" Emily queried, pinning her hair up into a messy bun.
"No. But I feel like I know why."
"Well... good." She smiled, her stare more calming and nurturing.
It was your first time in a month that you hung out with the girls and you almost forgot how many questions they asked. You felt bad for not being able to explain to them about the situation, but it was between you and Reid, not you and half of the team.
You reached down and pulled out one of the drawers, taking out a huge bag of gummy worms and throwing them onto the counter for everyone to see.
Penelope reached out and grabbed it, opening it and and taking a handful of gummy worms. "You're a queen Doctor Y/L/N, a queen!"
You all fell into a misfit of laughs and giggles, Penelope's tipsy-ness slowly coming in, becoming more noticeable.
The room quieted down and everyone's face grew serious, interested in you. Your eyes bounced on each one of their faces, slowly picking up a gummy worm and stuffing it in your mouth.
"Yes?"
"You don't look excited," JJ stated, digging her hand into the cheeto bag in her lap.
You shrugged, pressing your lips together, "He's hurt. I can tell."
You were especially amazing in reading people- how they acted, how they moved, how their facial expressions changed in difficult situations- and when you saw Reid's this morning, it was filled with pain and the desperate call for touch.
Tara frowned, her eyes downcast as you walked over to your spot on the floor, sitting down in front of Penelope. They must have noticed his change over the course of the year by the way the corner of their lips sagged, their shoulders sagging.
"I want to help him."
"You want to what? I'm not trying to judge, but he was an ass to you since you got here," JJ exclaimed, leaning her forearms on her knees.
You knitted your eyebrows, ashamed of what JJ had just said. "JJ you can't be the one to talk, you sent him to therapy."
Penelope covered her mouth, her eyes widening under her bright yellow glasses. A muffled laugh exited her mouth, a sudden wave of regret rushing through your body as you registered what you had just sputtered.
JJ nodded, herself regretting her past acts. "You're right. But be careful Y/N, he's had it rough."
You swallowed the lump in your throat and drowned out the feelings of pricking needles on your skin from the embarrassment with a shot Prentiss handed you. You wouldn't be drinking much, but you needed something to make you forget about Reid temporarily.
+++
"Bye Em!" you shouted at Emily as you got into your car, your teeth chattering from the coldness radiating inside the vehicle.
You turned your car on and drove onto the road, almost every style of music ringing in your ears as you drove by multiple restaurants.
You looked down at your phone to check the time- 10:30pm- but as you checked, a message from Reid was visible. He never texted you, but the message was from over an hour ago, so you turned your phone back off and returned your eyes back to the road.
After a few minutes, you reached your apartment building and parked into your spot, turning off your car and stepping out. You opened the door to the building and walked inside, slightly jogging up the stairs to your floor.
You reached your floor and turned the corner at the end of the hallway, seeing a tall man standing in front of your door. You slowly made your way closer to him, your eyes beginning to make out who that person was.
"Reid?"
"Hi," he said in a low register, pivoting on the heels of his feet, "Luke wasn't available and Matt was taking care of his kids. And Rossi....I just want to talk to you."
You felt like he was moving too fast-no one would ever let their guard down after such a fight, their hate for you would only grow stronger.
You began to wonder if this was even Reid...If someone just took him and replaced him with a clone.
No one should be complaining at such a thing, but you were. It was mind boggling. It was weird.