The exams are finally over, and I know my grades will be excellent.
As I am gathering my textbooks after our last period, two things are on my mind — my recent chat with Brian's mom and the last couple of nights Brian spent in my bed.
Since the day he brought the test results, he's been sleeping with me every night, leaving my bedroom through the window at dawn.
"Leah."
Awareness shoots through me when I hear Gavin's voice, followed by his tight grip on my forearm.
I manage to break free from Gavin's grasp and take a step back, rubbing the spot where his fingers dug into my skin.
"What do you want?" I snarl.
Gavin's eyes narrow at me. Anger distorts his face, making him lose the good boy mask he's used to wearing.
"Tell your loser of a boyfriend not to stick his nose into my father's business."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I mutter as I grab my things, desperate to get out of the classroom.
"He knows," Gavin smirks. "My father has been working hard on his campaign. He's the one who deserves to be the Mayor, not the good-for-nothing fool your boyfriend has been helping."
"If you have a problem with Brian, have the guts to talk to him. I'm not your messenger," I say over my shoulder and don't stay to wait for Gavin's reply.
Annie is waiting for me at the school entrance. She had to talk to our tutor, and we agreed to meet there afterward.
"How did it go?" I ask.
Annie smiles. "Great. She just wanted to congratulate me on my good results this term. I'm glad studying paid off, not gonna lie."
"I told you it would." I rest my purse on the ground and start to put on my jacket.
Annie opens her mouth to reply, but then her eyes zero in on my forearm. She touches it and looks at me. "Leah? You didn't have this before."
A bruise is starting to form where Gavin grabbed me, and the sight of it makes me nauseous.
"It was Gavin," I say. "He's pissed at Brian because of I don't know what regarding the mayoral elections."
"And he just goes and puts his dirty paws on you? Wait till Brian sees it. Gavin is dead."
"Brian doesn't need problems, Annie. He won't leave it alone, and I'm sure Gavin did it on purpose."
"Piece of crap," Annie says, shaking her head. "I see why Bella and Gavin are together. They are a match made in heaven."
"I don't care. I only want to see Brian. Talk to you later?"
Annie kisses my cheek. "Bye. And you should probably tell Brian what happened, Leah."
I say goodbye to Annie and walk home, deciding to stop by the garage first.
Brian is washing his hands when I make my way inside.
"Kitten." His lips curve upright when he spots me at the entrance. "I was about to go home to have lunch. Will you join me?"
I nod and kiss Brian on the lips. "Sure."
We walk to Brian's house, and as soon as we're in the kitchen, Brian heats up the food — roast meat and baked potatoes. The smell makes my mouth water, and the taste is so good we hardly speak while we eat.
"Mom said you talked to her," Brian tells me later when we sit on the couch with mugs in our hands.
"I did. Your mom helped me with some college stuff."
Brian smiles. "It's amazing. She told me you're thinking about studying in the city where Jim lives."
"The college is one of the best, and I might be able to afford it if they give me the grant without having to take out a loan."
"I'm proud of you. I think the degree you've chosen is something you'll enjoy."
"Thanks," I say, taking a sip of my coffee. Then, I study Brian's face and add, "It's not definite, though. We can look at other options and other colleges."
"It's your decision and your future, Kitten. I'll accept whatever you choose to do."
Brian's words make me uneasy. I peer at him again. He looks nonchalant as he sips his drink, leaning against the back of the couch.
"It's your future too, Brian." I hear myself say.
"I decided not to go to college years back, Kitten. I told you it wasn't for me."
"That was before."
"Nothing changed. I still think I'm better where I am now. I love my job, and I make good money. It's way more exciting than being a student."
"But what about-"
Brian studies my face. "What about what?"
"Me," I say meekly. "Us."
"What does it have to do with college? We're good, aren't we?"
"It has everything to do, Brian. What if I don't get accepted here and have to move away?"
Brian shrugs. "I would visit you. I have money; I would travel. If you think I will tell you to stay here for me, it ain't gonna happen. I'm not a selfish prick. It's your dream, and you should go for it."
"I thought we would go to college together."
"You should have asked me, Kitten. I told you the whole story. My experience with studies wasn't good. I don't wanna go through the same shit again. I'm okay for the first time in ages. I love this town and my friends."
"And me?" I ask, regretting it instantly.
Brian is quiet for several heartbeats. He doesn't look at me. His eyes are downcast, and he studies the contents of his mug, frowning.
He does everything but talk, and I know the answer to my stupid question is no. No, he doesn't love me. He loves his family, his friends, and this town, but not me.
"Leah, I- Shit. I wasn't expecting the question. Do you?"
I swallow, but my throat feels dry, regardless. "Do I what?"
"Do you love me?"
"I don't think that's the question you should ask me."
Brian shrugs. "You did."
"It was a mistake."
A cloud of awkwardness hovers over our heads. We don't know what to say to each other. I finish my coffee and stalk to the sink to rinse the mug off.
Brian doesn't move from his position on the couch. I am afraid to look at him and find pity in his hazel eyes. I don't want to feel more humiliated than I already do.
"Many couples do the long-distance relationship, Leah," Brian says, breaking the quiet. "I trust you, and if you trust me too, it shouldn't be an issue."
"You don't see your future with me," I say, mustering the courage to look at him.
Brian groans and then laughs. "Didn't you hear me?"
"You've always known college was important for me. You are smart, and you could study whatever you choose. You simply don't want to do it."
"Yes. I don't want to, and I've always been honest about it. You remind me of my mom now, insisting on the same thing despite what I say. You should learn to listen, Kitten. Then this convo wouldn't have happened."
My eyes meet Brian's. His stare is serious, and there isn't a trace of amusement on his face.
"What am I to you, Brian? Just a pastime? Someone to have fun with while it lasts?"
Brian shakes his head. "Seriously, Leah? Is that what you think? Is that the conclusion you make based on what I've told you?"
The feeling of helplessness seizes my insides. This isn't going anywhere, and if I stay, I will say something I will regret even more.
I clear my throat and say, "I have to go home. I need to talk to Mom before she goes to work. Thanks for lunch."
Brian says nothing. He's studying his now empty hands while I'm picking up my stuff, and the only word he utters is a quiet bye when I'm about to leave his house.
Brian doesn't stop me, and I cannot stop the tears from falling once I enter my empty house and trudge up the stairs to my room.
I get in bed and sob freely, letting my misery cover me as my old comforter does. My heart aches because it knows.
It knows that Brian isn't something temporary for me. I am awash with the realization that although he doesn't feel this way about me, I am in love with him, and I can't do anything to get rid of the feeling.
It bloomed against all odds without caring about our differences, and now I've made a fool out of myself, almost confessing my feelings to the guy who doesn't share them.
I stare at the ceiling through the moisture in my eyes, hoping that Brian will appear in my room to kiss me and hug me and tell me he overreacted and made a mistake.
He never does. Hours pass, and I let the sadness swallow me whole until I cannot stand it anymore.
I leave the bed and walk up to the window. Brian's house is dark, and so is the night sky.
I know I won't be able to sleep. The need to busy myself with something is stronger than ever, and I find myself in my mom's room.
I do what I've never done before. I open her closet and go through her things, searching for something that would shed some light on my past and my family history. Nothing can make this awful day worse. Whatever I find won't make my heart ache as much as Brian's rejection did.
My search is fruitless, and I am about to give up on the whole idea when I spot something under my mom's underwear in one of the drawers.
It's a manila envelope. Carefully, I take it out and peer inside, spotting some pictures.
I lower myself onto the old carpet and retrieve the photos.
My hand flies to my mouth when I see a beautiful, smiling girl next to a bike.
It's my mom.
There isn't an ounce of bitterness in her expression. She isn't frowning or scowling. She looks happy.
She looks even happier in the next pictures. She isn't alone in them. A tall, handsome man has his arms around her. He is looking at my mom with adoration in his eyes and a grin on his lips.
I spot the date on the picture of the happy young couple.
That's how I know the dark-haired guy is my dad.