I looked at the children around me with uncertainty. Either they were crying or looking at someone else crying. I was amongst the second lot. If no one turns up in this room, I am planning to join the first lot. Mummy was forced to leave my hand at the huge gate. Some ladies, standing near the gate, were distributing children in the groups.
On top of the uniform that we were wearing, Mummy had pinned some long string. It's when I went to the class, I saw everyone wearing the same colour long string. I flexed my arm as the lady who put me in this group stretched my hand like it was some elastic bands.
"Supriya! This is your class. Check if everyone has orange ribbons on their uniform," some lady screamed. I caught a glimpse of the lady and I was sure to be scared for rest of my life. She had painted her eyelids, lips and parting of her hair. Between her eyebrows started a long bhindi which almost went till her hair parting. Her dress was reflecting light. It would take me years to understand that this was her 'Komolika' look but this lady had started it before the actual Komolika could.
The lady who was left in-charge, smiled warmly at us. "Good morning children! I am your teacher, Supriya ma'am. Let's introduce yourselves."
She opened a book and started calling out names of children seated and crying. When she called out my name, I stood up and looked at her. She asked, "Are you Anika Reddy?"
I nodded. She instructed me to sit down. I duly sat down and looked at the girl sitting next to me. I was so focused on listening my name that I had no clue whether her name was called or not. Still, I asked her, "What name?"
She looked at me suspiciously. I tried smiling but she turned her face away. Even I turned my face angrily. After sometime, Sujata ma'am made two lines of girls and boys. She took the girls' line to the washroom to wash our hands. The same was done for the boys' line. When everybody was seated, she said, "Okay children, now it's break time. Open your tiffin boxes and eat carefully, without spilling."
I knew what to do. Mummy had taught me that I must eat by myself because in big schools nobody cares if I've finished my tiffin box or not. I am not sure about what has to be taken care of. I opened my tiffin box to see white idlis in it. In another small container, there was green chutney. As I touched the idli to take a bite, I felt them cold. Ignoring it, I took a bite anyways.
Why is it this cold? It is not nice. I remembered Mummy's words, 'If you don't eat your food, you're a bad girl'. I knew what it meant. I had to eat no matter what. I can't go back home with idlis. I saw the girl next to me eyeing at the lunch box. I saw hers; it was some chapatti rolled. I had no mood to eat mine. I pushed my box and asked, "You want?"
She replied, "Yes."
I pushed it little more. "Eat it."
She tore a piece and ate it. She looked at me and said, "It good."
It tastes better when warm. I asked her, "What name?"
She replied, "Shalvali Patil."
Shalvali . . . it is a big name to remember. I hope she won't be sad if I just called her Shalvali. She asked for mine. I replied, "Anika Deddy."
Sujata Ma'am came over to our bench and exclaimed, "Sharvari and Anika! You two girls are fast! Already became friends and sharing food."
I kind of got that she was appreciating us but I had no idea for what. After eating Shalvali ate my tiffin box, everyone was given a sheet of paper with a circle in it and a crayon. After colouring it, we were asked to take our bags and make a line.
We were walked to a different gate and there I saw Mummy standing. I was about to run when Sujata Ma'am stopped me. She screamed, "Please children, wait here. I want either your parents or drivers to come to us teachers and personally take the students."
After a long wait, Mummy was allowed from the gate. She called out my name and Sujata Ma'am allowed me to go. I held Mummy's hand firmly. Guiding me out of the crowded gate, we walked to the society. Mummy asked, "How was the first day in the big school?"
"Good."
"Good? What happened to Anu? Tired?"
I answered, "Hungly."
"Anu is hungry? Did you eat the idlis I had packed?"
I didn't answer. She sighed. "Did you make any new friends?"
I replied, excitedly, "Yes Mummy. Hel name is Shalvali."
"Shalvali? You mean Sharvari?"
"No," I shook my head. "Hel name is Shalvali."
Upon reaching the home, she checked my box. She found it was half-empty. She looked happy. "Good girl. If you would have eaten both the idlis, you wouldn't have felt this hungry."
*
The normal school routine on for almost everyday except two days where I wasn't supposed to go. Since I had liking going to school, I would cry to go. To this Mummy would say, "There won't be a single soul! What would you do there?"
Though I hadn't understood the first sentence, I would answer to the question she had asked. "Play with fliends," I would reply.
"When there won't be anyone in school, with whom would you play?"
"My fliends!"
Mummy would sigh. "I give up."
But on the days where I would have school, Daddy would drop me on his scooter. He would make me stand in the gap between the seat and front part. He had explained that it was to keep his foot while he was driving. On the first day, I was very scared but Daddy drove very slowly to make me feel comfortable.
I was still scared because I always had this fear of falling off from the scooter. Daddy says that if we have balance, there's no need to worry. I don't know what's balance either. Like every other day when I go to school, I describe everything that has happened in the class.
Today, again, I was narrating, ". . . then it was tiffin box time, I opened my box and gave it to Shalvali. Then Nikhil also wanted . . ."
"Nikhil?"
"My new fliend, Daddy. Shalvali and Nikhil are Anika fliends."
"But you said some other person . . . Manoj was your friend."
I cried, "Oho! I told that Manoj tore colouling paper."
"Which paper?"
"Colouling paper."
"What's that?"
"Sujata Ma'am gives clayon and we coloul it . . "
"Arre baap re! You are talking about colouring paper and crayons!"
I nodded. He finally understood! Continuing, "After colouling, Ma'am told put bag, go home."
He stopped in front of the gate and said, "Now Anika has to go to school."
I nodded with a beaming face. Waving a bye, I went inside the gate. The class was similar routine which, I felt, got over very quickly. This time when I came out of the gate, Mummy looked little angry. She asked me, "Anu, tell me whether you eat your tiffin or give it to your friends?"
"I give fliends," I confessed in low voice.
"No wonder you would be hungry by the time you reached home. Why didn't you eat your tiffin?"
I looked at her. "It not nice."
"Not nice? With such difficulty I cook food. Do you even know how much food you waste?"
I looked at her as she handed me a biscuit. "Eat this. It's not good to starve yourself."
As I ate and ambled, I noticed that a puppy was walking next to me. I took another biscuit from Mummy. I had seen some big people throwing biscuits at puppies and big puppies. I did the same. It gobbled up the biscuit within seconds. I clapped my hands with happiness.
This puppy-biscuit thing continued for a long time. It seemed after every few days, a puppy was added. Mummy was annoyed but I guess now she is used to it. They sniff my legs which I find ticklish. I think I love animals. But on that fateful day, everything changed.
It was raining heavily that day when Mummy and I were walking from home. Mummy held the umbrella yet I felt some raindrops falling on me. I saw some puppies running towards us. Grabbing a few biscuits from small box which Mummy was carrying, I threw towards them.
Usually, after eating the biscuits, the puppies would scamper away. This time, they didn't. All of them were trying to fit inside the umbrella. In fear that they might scratch me, Mummy lifted me and walked swiftly.
She mumbled along, "See, this is why I told you not to feed them regularly. If either of them scratches you, you will fourteen injections! You can't even stand one. Hopefully they will stop following us after we reach the apartment. It will be dry over there."
As soon as we reached the ground floor of the apartment, the puppies looked at each other. Mummy folded the umbrella and started climbing the stairs. Some of them started jumping on us. Mummy tried calming them but they looked more excited.
We reached our floor when Iyer Aunty was standing there with a stick. No sooner did Mummy unlocked the door, we dashed through the door. Iyer Aunty was chasing them away by simply waving the stick. They were frightened and ran away.
I was so scared by the turn of incidents that I started crying. There was a huge battle of words between Iyer Aunty and Mummy. I sobbed until I was exhausted. I heard Mummy say, "I don't want her to face the same fear that I had faced when I was a kid. I dreaded the animals. I thought maybe Anika can overcome it."
She didn't know that I was very scared. Scared to an extent that sight of puppies and other animals would make me tense.
***
References:
Komolika: Complete name – Komolika Majumdar. Popular character from a Hindi daily soap, 'Kasautii Zindagii Kay' (2001 - 2008).
I swear to have come across many women who kind of were inspired from this 'Komolika' look. I have seen it in Parents Teachers Meetings especially. Since this chapter is in 2000 where this particular daily soap hadn't launched. But it was this character was introduced later in 2001 (Wikipedia says so). I have assumed that this might have been the character's style previously which got refined on launch of the daily soap.
***
Hey guys! Hope you all are safe. Happy Dassera/Dussehra to all the readers!
I know I had just disappeared. Lately, a lot of things had happened in my life, including falling sick, loosing one of my grandparents and then graduating from engineering. Amidst all this, I was drowned in self-doubt to an extent that I stared at the blank Word document for hours. This went on for a week, making me more miserable. I have taken part in the Inktober 2020 challenge and art has been a great medium for me to remove my doubts. After two weeks into it, I saw better thoughts forming and here I am with this chapter.
Phew! That was a long rant. Trust me, I am feeling great. But the process takes time. I am sharing this just in case someone is facing similar, just trust the process and yourself.
Thank you for reading.