Jason and Theo started arguing as soon as we'd got Maia patched up and asleep in Abi's empty bed. I could hear them from where I was sitting — next to Maia who was sleeping peacefully.
"It had to have been an Alpha!" Theo hissed at Jason.
"I know that!" Jason growled back at him. "Because if it was a normal werewolf, they wouldn't have just bitten her, they would've torn her apart."
"What the hell is she even doing here?" Theo exclaimed exasperatedly.
"I don't know. But we need to find out who that Alpha is," Jason replied, voice quiet.
Sensing that Maia wasn't going to be waking up any time soon, I stood up and headed to where Jason and Theo were arguing — Jason's room.
Ryder was down in the cellar watching Jade; he'd volunteered to go down there so that Jason could come up and decide what the hell to do about Maia showing up out of the blue with a werewolf bite on her leg.
Hovering outside Jason's room, I shivered and pulled my cardigan tighter around me.
"I didn't know that there was another Alpha around here," I spoke up, surprising both Jason and Theo.
"Yeah, well." Jason shrugged and glanced across at Theo. "We've not exactly been super territorial recently, so it's possible that another Alpha, or a whole other pack, is intruding on our territory."
Not understanding even half of that, I blinked.
"Do you need me to go out and have a look around?" Theo stepped forward to Jason. "I could see if there have been any 'animal' attack reports recently."
"I need you to stay here." Jason placed a hand on Theo's shoulder. "I need to keep you safe." He looked across at me. "All of you."
And there's the Alpha... But since when am I Jason's concern as well?
Jason turned back to Theo. "Theo, do you think that you could go and watch Jade? Ryder's been down there a while, and I don't want to push him for too long."
"Sure," Theo agreed instantly. "I've not had a shift for a while, so it's only fair."
"What do you want me to do?" I questioned, fidgeting slightly as Jason's powerful gaze turned to me.
"There's not much point in you watching Maia; she'll be out for a while — that relaxant Ryder gave her does its job well. And I wouldn't dream of putting you in charge of watching Jade after what she did to you," Jason explained, "So, I don't really know if there's anything that you can do..."
"I want to help," I insisted, sounding annoying and pathetic beyond belief.
Theo was at the doorway now, beside me, and his mere closeness was making me hot down under and a little lightheaded.
I didn't know what I'd been doing around him recently, from admitting my extremely private dreams to him to kissing him in a supplies room — I just kept throwing myself at him, hoping that he would catch me.
And he did keep catching me, which was why I needed to stop throwing myself. I needed to back off him, cool it down, and take a step back. The only way I could do that was to be as cold towards him as possible.
Which hurt.
So bad.
I swallowed; mouth dry. "Just give me something to do, Jason."
"Are you sure?" He asked, voice filled with concern.
"Positive." I nodded.
"Okay... I guess you could go and gather some firewood from the forest," he suggested. "We're running low, and it gives you something to do. I'll send Ryder out once Theo's down there, so you've got a little protection."
"I can protect myself," I declared — not realising that Jason was only concerned for me.
"I'll send him out anyway." Jason nodded, which I guessed meant I could go but I hovered for a moment longer all the same.
"I know that this probably isn't the best timing, considering everything that's going on..." I chewed my lip. "But do you think that you'll use the cure that Chris gave me?"
"I don't know, Ember." He shook his head. "Though I'm beginning to think we should just use it in the off-chance that it'll help here... She's already dying, and day by day, you can see the life draining out of her."
"You can smell it too," Theo added, not noticing the forlorn shadow that passed over Jason's face.
"Okay... Well, that was all I wanted to say — so, I'll go now," I stuttered then left the doorway.
Aware that Theo was walking right behind me, I quickly walked out of the ranch.
"Are you okay?" Theo asked.
"Yeah, I think so." I shrugged, not looking at him. "I told you something wasn't right about today."
"I thought you said your Sight was gone?" The frown in his voice was evident; disbelief blatant in his tone.
"I did," I admitted, with a little pang in my heart; Wednesday gave me my Sight, and now it's gone, it feels like I've lost part of myself. "But I can still get hunches about things."
"I guess so." Theo shrugged as he stepped out of the ranch with me.
"Aren't you going down to the cellar?" I frowned at him.
"Yeah, but I just wanted to make sure that you're okay." He hesitated.
"Theo, I'm fine — really," I told him. "I mean... Maia will be okay, right?"
"I don't know," he admitted honestly. "But... Are you okay about what happened in the storage closet?"
Ah... I was wondering when he'd want to talk about that.
A blush rose in my cheeks and forehead – why my forehead?!
I shrugged, stealing his signature move. "I'm okay."
I did kiss him first, but still, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. He was just there — freaking out and about to shift in the middle of school. I couldn't just do nothing, could I?
Kissing him was better than burning him would've been. Not that I could summon the fire so easily anymore.
"You should go," I told him bluntly, before turning towards the forest and leaving him speechless on the doorstep.
Despite me telling Jason that I could protect myself, I was desperate for Ryder to get out there with me; the forest was surprisingly dark for late-afternoon spring.
I started bundling up some fallen branches and twigs before I heard a stick snap.
"Who's there?" I questioned the silence before I had a chance to think.
"It's just me, hot stuff." Ryder stepped toward me. "Chill out; there's not supposed to be anyone around here for miles."
"That doesn't make me feel any better."
"How are you, with Maia and everything?" He asked, beginning to gather up firewood as well.
"I've been better," I confessed, "I mean, Maia's not supposed to be here. And as far as I can tell, she knows nothing about the supernatural world."
"I remember when I found out about the supernatural." Ryder nodded slowly. "I was 12."
"What happened?" I asked gently, noticing how sad he'd become.
"My mom died — cancer," he explained, eyes shiny. "I saw her ghost."
"I'm so sorry, Ryder..." I breathed.
"It's okay." He shrugged. "It was a long time ago, but my point is that as soon as I saw her ghost, I began researching everything I could about the supernatural, so it might be karma that I'm a werewolf," he joked, but I could tell that he was still upset.
I bit my lip. "What happened after your mum died?"
"My dad started abusing me. He said it was my fault that Mom died." Ryder shook his head, shagging hair flopping over his head a little as he did so. "It took me two and a half years before I grew a pair and ran away from home, and away from my dad."
Continuing to collect branches, I didn't say anything, sensing that he wasn't done.
"So, I left California, and headed up to Oregon." He blinked back some tears. "That's where I met Hayden — and I'd never felt so complete in my life. Even after the both of us were accidentally turned, left for dead at the side of a road, we were together. And I thought that we always would be... Until those bastard hunters took her from me. I'll never forgive myself for letting them test the 'cure' on her."
"It's not your fault," I told Ryder, dropping my wood and wrapping my arms around him.
"You don't know that." He sniffed but hugged me back.
I glanced up at the rapidly darkening sky, blinking back my own tears, trying to be strong for Ryder, for Hayden and for myself. "We should get back to the ranch."
"You're right." Ryder rubbed his face and picked up his pile of branches.
"D'you think that you could ever love again, after Hayden?" I asked cautiously, aware that I might be overstepping just a little too far. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to—"
"No, it's fine," he assured. "I think I could — because I know that Hayden would want me to be happy, even if it was without her. But I don't know who I would love; Hayden was my mate, and I don't know if werewolves are supposed to have more than one mate or partner."
"I think that you'll find someone," I reassured him.
"I think I might've already." He glanced rapidly across at me, before looking away. "But I can't be sure."
Me? It can't be me, can it?
My cheeks warmed up considerably, and we dropped into silence, though not awkward, or uncomfortable — a natural silence.
We were about halfway back to the ranch when Ryder stopped stock-still, and it was like his ears literally pricked up.
"What is it?" I whispered to him.
But he didn't need to reply, because out of nowhere, a massive brown bear came charging through the forest towards us.
God, why can't anything go right today? I dropped my bundle of firewood, and so did Ryder.
"Hit the deck!" Ryder shouted.
Not understanding his instruction, I stupidly whirled around to see the bear charging closer and closer to us.
"Damn it, Ember!" Ryder exclaimed, and dragged me down to the floor, before covering my body with his.
"Erm... Ryder?" I asked with a muffled voice. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Protecting you, duh! Theo will have my guts if you get hurt whilst I'm with you." He replied, whispering in my ear — inadvertently sending hot rushes through my body.
We waited a couple more minutes in silence, listening to the bear stampeding around, almost pointlessly.
"Is it gone?" I questioned, right before the bear jumped over our heads.
Ryder's hand quickly stifled the scream that was about to exit my mouth. A single tear tracked down my cheek, landing on his thumb. My body shook a little with fear — though I couldn't understand why I was so afraid.
"Ember, are you okay?" Ryder asked, with his voice filled with concern, as I numbly brushed away that single tear.
His blonde hair had flopped over his face again, and his dark green eyes seemed to have become a shade lighter.
I bit my lip and looked away from him hovering over my body; I was attracted to him so much that I'd started burning up for him and his touch. This feeling was new to me: wanting someone other than Theo when I'd wanted Theo for what felt like so long.
From nowhere, a snippet of a conversation I'd had with Wednesday and some of her prophetic words about the future resonated in my head:
"We, Ember Hestia Milburn and Wednesday Mortelle are going to live our lives freely whilst we can."
My face scrunched up. "That sounds ominous."
"It is; I've seen it — and no, I'm not telling you — so that's why we need to live now!" She declared, pulling me up from the ground and linking her arm through mine. "We're going to make the most of who we are right now, instead of worrying about the past or dreading the future. Live in the moment. Carpe diem, Ember Milburn! Carpe diem!"
Was this memory telling me to embrace how I was feeling about Ryder — the best friend, almost brother, of my ex-boyfriend?
I inwardly shuddered; I didn't like thinking about Theo as my ex.
Right then, I didn't like thinking about Theo at all.
Ryder was still hovering over me, clearly caught in the same internal battle that I was; after all, I was the ex-girlfriend of his best friend, almost brother. God this is complicated as hell.
"Ryder..." I breathed, all the while wondering what the hell I'm about to start.
"Yeah, sorry, I'll get off you." He misinterpreted and began to move off me.
"NO!" I shouted unexpectedly, startling the both of us. "No... I want you."
"You want me to what?" His eyes searched my face desperately.
"I want you to... to do what — what you... want to do to me," I stammered out, confusing even myself. "If that makes sense...?"
Eagerly, his hands pushed back my hair from the sides of my face, and just before he lowered his lips onto mine, he whispered, "That makes perfect sense, hot stuff."
Then he kissed me, soft and forceful at the same time, his tongue gently coaxing my mouth open; it was almost like I'd forgotten how to kiss.
His body wasn't hovering over me anymore; instead, he was pressed up right against me, driving my back into the pine needles of the forest floor — but I treasured it. It was refreshing how much he wanted me, and how he wasn't afraid to show it.
But being like this with Ryder wasn't just sexually refreshing; it was also emotionally refreshing — he'd talked to me about his parents, his childhood, his past... Something that Theo had never ever done.
"You're not just doing this because you're horny, are you?" I questioned when Ryder moved his kiss down my throat, sucking lightly on my skin, aware of the still healing strangle marks that Jade gifted me with.
"I'm doing this because I like you, Ember," he growled softly against my flesh, pressing his body harder against mine. His words and his actions sent another hot rush down my skin, and I found myself breathing faster.
What the fuck am I doing?
I closed my eyes in pure ecstasy as Ryder's hands worked their way up my hoodie and the vest I was wearing beneath, caressing the skin on my stomach.
"Holy shit, Ember," Ryder swore bluntly, ruining the moment as my eyes sprung open. "I can feel your ribcage."
Speedily, I sat up and pushed my clothes down, dragging myself away from Ryder. I wrapped my arms around my drawn-up knees, leaning against a tree.
"Hey," he began, moving closer toward me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I..." I swallowed. "I did a lot of training on Svalbard."
"If you want to talk about it, or about anything really, I'm here." Ryder eyed me, before wrapping his arms around me, also leaning on the same tree.
That's also new — someone who doesn't push me to say everything straight away, and instead lets me tell them in my own sweet time.
"Thank you," I murmured as he placed a kiss on my forehead.
Needing to feel wanted again, I turned my head to Ryder and pushed my lips against his. It wasn't long before I crawled onto his lap, his back pressed against the tree.
"What the hell are we doing here, Ryder?" I wondered aloud, while Ryder began unzipping my hoodie.
"We're just... embracing how we feel about each other." He replied, eyes raking my body — my vest had wriggled down, leaving my bra semi-exposed.
"Do you promise not to judge my body too much?" I asked, feeling self-conscious. "It's been a while since anybody has — you know — seen me like this, and my body has changed quite a bit since then..."
"I promise." His gorgeous green eyes made contact with my own blue ones.
Arching my back, I accidentally grinded against Ryder's crotch, causing him to groan.
"Ugh... Ember." His hands clasped onto his waist, before taunting daringly, "Do that again, hot stuff."
I moved my body again, trying not to be too stiff or halting, trying to please Ryder as much as possible. The fact that we were in the middle of a forest had slipped my mind — and that darkness was now surrounded us. He groaned again and pressed my crotch closer to his, using his grip on my waist.
"Sh-i-it..." I couldn't help but moan.
"You like that, hot stuff?" Ryder teased, caressing my boobs through my bra, squeezing ever so slightly, but still not enough — no way near enough.
"Yes," I panted, biting my bottom lip hard.
"Imagine what would happen if we weren't wearing any clothes..." He tormented me with my own imaginings of his naked body.
"Ryder! Ember!" A voice yelled loudly from the ranch.
"Coming!" Ryder yelled back, lifting me out of his lap.
"Shit." I cursed, looking around us. "It's pitch-black out now... I don't want to go back yet." I pouted like a child.
"Neither do I, hot stuff." He helped me to my feet and did my hoodie back up, after one last look at my boobs.
I clasped my hand in his as he began leading us out of the woods — I trusted him; he'd probably been through them a hundred times.
"Where the hell have you been?" Jason exclaimed angrily once we returned to the ranch.
"Collecting firewood," I stated, before looking down at Ryder's empty arms and my own empty arms that held no firewood.
"Uh-huh." Jason raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed.
"There was a bear." Ryder explained, "And we dropped all of our firewood trying to outrun it. We had to double back along the fire road to make sure that it didn't follow us home."
"How's Maia?" I questioned worriedly.
"No change." Jason brushed off my change in subject. "Do you know how long you two have been out there? I was worried sick that you were in danger."
"I'm sorry, Jason," Ryder apologised instantly.
"Yeah." I nodded. "Me too."
Jason dipped his head, "Just don't do it again. I've gotta go for my shift with Jade, so you two can make dinner for the both of you and Theo."
Ah... Theo.
"Sure." Ryder plastered a smile on his face.
Jason left and Ryder and I walked into the kitchen.
"So, Chef Ryder, what delicacy will we be having for dinner tonight?" I joked as I hoisted myself up onto the kitchen counter.
"Hmm, how about sandwiches?" He grinned, joking back. "After all, the only thing we've got in the cupboards is bread."
I laughed. "Works with me!"
After grabbing the bread out of the basically empty cupboard, Ryder came to stand between my legs and ran his hands along my thighs. "Do you regret what happened earlier, in the forest?"
"Not one bit." I leaned down and kissed his lips briefly before sliding off the countertop. "Is there any point in making Maia something?"
"Nope, that relaxant will keep her happily asleep until the morning," he replied.
Theo then walked into the kitchen, looking knackered.
"How was finding firewood?" He asked groggily.
"Oh, yeah," Ryder smirked. "Just great. Apart from the fact that we were chased by a bear and ended up dropping all those branches that we'd picked up."
"A bear?" Theo threw a frown at Ryder, before rushing over to me and placing his hands on my arms. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I step back from him, feeling odd around him. Maybe I was feeling a little bit guilty about kissing Ryder, but maybe I just didn't want Theo touching me.
"How did you get that collecting firewood?" Theo poked the side of my neck viciously.
"Get what?" I frown, slapping my hand to my neck, figuring out pretty quick what it was. Whilst sucking my neck, Ryder had given me a hickey.
I guess he was sucking my skin harder than I thought.
I blushed; I'd never been given a hickey before — not even from Theo. Again, I felt that refreshing feeling of how much Ryder wanted me.
"What the hell did you do to her?" Theo growled at Ryder, turning on him.
"Theo, stop!" I yelled at him before he could even start on Ryder.
Theo stopped instantly, backing off and glaring at both of us, especially Ryder.
"Just drop it," I told him as Theo opened his mouth to say something to us.
"Unbelievable." He shook his head, walking out of the kitchen. "Fricking unbelievable."
"Well, that's gonna be fun to try and explain to him." Ryder sighed, looping his arm around my waist and pulling me to his side.
"Maybe we don't have to explain it." I shrugged. "I mean, why should we?"
"Because we live in the same house as him." He laughed back.
Shrugging again, I just leaned against him more.
"You know, Ember?" Ryder addressed me again, "We're already living together and we've not even had sex yet."
I hit him in the chest. "You're impossible, Ryder."
"Hey, I said 'yet'!" He protested as I stepped away from him.
"Exactly." I rolled my eyes.
I still didn't really know what I was doing — getting involved with Ryder like that, especially when Maia was lying in Abi's bed with a huge Alpha werewolf bite on her right leg, and we didn't even know if she was gonna make it or not — or would what happen if she were to make it.
Needing some comfort, I turned back to Ryder and wrapped my arms around him, to which he instantly responded.
I might not know what I'm getting myself into, but Ryder's damn good at providing me with some comfort, I thought, enclosed in his arms.