Sitting at a table in Brian's back yard, I'm watching him talk to his brother, dad, and grandparents. A broad, genuine smile is pasted on Brian's face, and he looks even more handsome than usual.
Too busy ogling my boyfriend, I miss the moment when Brian's mom sits on a chair next to me.
"It's hard to believe he's already nineteen," Aria says, nodding toward Brian. "Coffee?"
"Yes, please," I say with a smile and accept a mug from Aria's hands.
"I wanted to thank you, Leah. It's been a while since I last saw my son so happy, and I know meeting you had a lot to do with it."
"I did nothing," I say and try to hide my blush as I take a sip from the mug.
Aria laughs. "Nonsense! Of course, you did something. You support him and ground him and put up with him. I gave birth to that big baby. I know he's not the easiest boy to be with. Brian has a big heart, but I'd lie if I said he isn't maddeningly stubborn sometimes. God knows we fought quite a lot some years ago."
I look at Brian's mom. "Yeah, he told me."
The look on Aria's face is one of utter disbelief. "He did?"
"Yeah. He told me all about it. About being gifted and living in the city."
Aria rubs my forearm. "See? And you say you did nothing. It's very uncommon for Brian to open up. As soon as you try to talk about something serious with him, he jests and laughs and changes the topic."
"Do you think he's happy?" I ask Brian's mom. "I know that he loves his job at the garage, and he is good with bikes, but after he told me about being different, I can't help wondering if what he does is enough. I would hate it if he settled for less out of fear."
"I lost that battle," says Aria, sighing as she twists the bracelet on her wrist. "It's what Brian wants, and although I don't understand his reluctance to go to college, I learned to accept his decisions. I'd love to believe he's happy, Leah. On days like today, when I see him smile, I think he is."
I am quiet, and Aria speaks again. "You were asking because it's time to think about college, right?"
"Yeah." I nod. "I'd love to study for a degree."
"Anything in mind?"
My eyes travel to Brian's tall, lean frame. In my heart, I know it's way more than physical attraction. We have complicity and chemistry, and I feel that he understands me better than anyone I know.
"I thought about psychology," I say to Aria. "But there is no way I can afford it if I don't get a grant; that's why I have to study hard now."
What I don't say is that my choice isn't random. Brian did inspire me and made me want to become someone who could help people with their issues.
"It's a great choice." Aria beams at me. "I could help you with your college applications. I work in education, and the topic is more than familiar."
"It would be amazing. Thank you."
"Not at all. Let me know when you have some colleges in mind. We can sit down and look at the options together."
"I will," I promise, and focus my attention on Brian again. My eyes meet his, and he smirks before winking at me. And I know I'm past pretending that he doesn't affect me.
***
I spend the following days slaving over my textbooks, studying for my exams. The conversation with Brian's mom pushed me to get focused and try to improve my already good grades. Brian is busy at the garage, and we couldn't see each other.
It's no different tonight. I close my textbooks and sigh, looking at Brian's dark window. It's way past ten, and he isn't home yet. Although I can go to the garage, I decide against it and go to bed instead. My phone buzzes when I get under the comforter.
"Hey, girlfriend," I say to Annie.
Her laughter down the line makes me smile. "What's up, nerd?"
"Hey!" I laugh. "Look who's talking."
"Another nerd." My friend sighs. "Kenzie is the only happy person in our house. I want the exams to be over so that I can do something more exciting, but that's not why I called."
"What's up?"
"Have you seen Brian's Instagram?" asks Annie.
I avoided Brian's social media, afraid of finding another reason to be upset.
"No," I say to Annie.
"Well, you should see it. I said nothing. Happy snooping. Bye."
I laugh, but Annie has already hung up, and against my better judgment, my finger presses on the app icon.
Heat rises to my cheeks as soon as I see Brian's profile. The first photo on his feed is a picture of us. I am sleeping in Brian's arms with my face buried in the crook of his neck, and his lips are pressed to my forehead. The caption under the photo reads My calm. I know he took the picture on the night of his birthday.
The second photo is of the ring on Brian's finger — the ring I'd given him. He named the picture Hers, and I swoon, scrolling through the comments section.
Dakota left red hearts under both pictures, and there's a comment from Mac, saying, "Thought I wouldn't see the day."
I rest the phone on the nightstand and smile into the darkness of my bedroom. A light tap on the glass makes me swivel my head toward the curtains. I jump off the bed and open the window to let Brian in.
"Hey," I whisper as soon as he lands on my carpet, hardly making any noises.
"Hey." Brian smiles, wrapping me in his arms. His cold lips brush against mine, and I caress his face when I notice the tiredness etched into his expression.
"Too much work?" I whisper. "Mom is at home, and I'm afraid to wake her up. We have to be quiet."
"Way too much work, Kitten," says Brian before pressing his lips to mine once again. "I missed you and wanted to see you."
"I missed you too," I say. My hands don't ask for permission when they push Brian's leather jacket off his shoulders. Brian throws it to the chair by my desk and takes off his boots.
"Get in bed with me," I say, taking Brian's hand in mine.
He smiles just barely but doesn't move. "Wait, Kitten. I need to give you something."
Brian takes a step toward my desk and pulls an envelope out of the pocket of his jacket. He shifts on his feet as he hands the white rectangle to me. That gesture alone makes me apprehensive.
"What is it?" I ask.
This time, Brian is the one to take my hand in his and lead me to my bed. We sit side by side, and he caresses my cheek with his slightly calloused palm when he says, "I did some tests, and I brought you the results."
I frown. "Tests?"
Brian nods. "To show you that I'm clean. And before you say something, yes. Yes, it was necessary. I always used protection, but I guess one can never be a hundred percent sure. I wouldn't forgive myself if I harmed you in any way. And please, don't take it for what it's not. There's no rush to take the next step, okay? But I'd rather you knew you have nothing to worry about before it happens. After that night at my house, I thought it was the right time to do it."
I don't open the envelope and put it on the nightstand. Instead, I draw my arms around Brian and kiss him on the lips once. We lie down on my bed, and he hugs me to him, saying nothing.
"I trust you," I whisper.
Brian caresses the side of my face with the back of his hand. "I know. But you're my naive, little Kitten, and you shouldn't trust a dude blindly, not even me."
"You didn't give me a reason not to trust, Brian."
"I sure as fuck hope so," he says, chuckling. Then, Brian is serious again. "I missed you," he whispers as his lips inch toward mine and touch them when I edge forward and eliminate the little distance between us.
He kisses me slowly and tenderly, barely applying pressure until I open my mouth, and my tongue darts out to meet Brian's.
Brian makes me lie on my back and kisses me much harder, positioning his hard body between my legs. His mouth devours mine, and I slide my hands under his shirt, desperate to feel the heat of Brian's skin on mine.
We get under the covers. Now shirtless, Brian places wet kisses along the column of my neck. His hand moves under my top and comes to rest on my bare breast.
"Baby..." he whispers, lifting the soft fabric and then lowering his head to my chest. Brian's wet lips kiss my nipple, and I have to remind myself we're not alone.
"So good," I whisper, closing my eyes.
Brian gets rid of the top and rains tender kisses over my breasts, licking my skin and biting me softly when I whimper and lean into him. My clumsy fingers undo the button on Brian's jeans. Somehow, I manage to take them off. Brian stops kissing me to toss the jeans aside and returns to his previous position between my legs. It's only my shorts and Brian's underwear. I feel his heat and his hardness against me as Brian kisses my lips again.
He presses his forehead to mine and cups my cheek with one of his hands. Then, Brian moves just barely, and our bodies touch everywhere. We fit together perfectly, and the jolt of pleasure when Brian grinds against me is another proof of that.
"When I make love to you, I will move like this," Brian whispers, moving his hips, making me feel him. "And I will kiss every inch of you, from your toes to your lips, making you moan my name."
"Brian," I whisper, smiling against his mouth.
"That's right, baby," Brian says, moving faster. His mouth covers mine, and his sleek, wet tongue slips inside. I can't get enough of the kiss, but Brian breaks it and drags his lips down my neck to my chest to kiss and lick and bite my nipples again.
I caress Brian's back and lift my hips off the mattress. The fast pace of Brian's kisses paired with the way his hard length touches my center brings me to the edge.
The tip of Brian's tongue teases the sensitive peaks, and I cannot hold it in anymore. I bite my bottom lip as my body starts shaking.
"God," Brian whispers before kissing me on the lips again while I feel the pleasure, and his heat, and his tender touch.
Resting his forehead against my shoulder, Brian groans and stills. I feel his chest rise and fall fast. My fingers get tangled in his dark strands, and I toy with Brian's hair while he tries to slow down his breathing.
"I love being with you." I hear Brian say. He smiles, looking at me. Then, I am in his arms with my bare chest against his.
"Me too," I say. "So much."
I feel Brian smile, and snuggle into him even more. The picture of our future together in front of my eyes is vivid when I close them.
I can see us going to college and sharing an apartment, spending nights in each other's arms, and enjoying our new, exciting life.
And I hope with all my heart that Brian and I want the same thing.