If Lee didn't like going to 12 Grimmauld place for Order meetings, she truly despised living there.
Molly had finally convinced them to move in a few days after Lee returned to work.
It was safer, she had reasoned.
It was also a hell of a lot closer to torture.
The place was dark and dingy and Lee was about to steal a time turner to go back and stab Walburga Black herself.
She had never been called a 'filthy mudblood' so many times in her life. Lee was losing her patience with the bigoted portrait.
"Are you sure there's no way to get it off?" Lee had asked Sirius, after almost a day of the woman screaming.
And when Walburga screamed, Ozzie joined.
"I would have ages ago, but the bitch stuck herself to the wall."
"I'm about to blast the bloody wall down," Lee frowned.
"Now where was that idea six months ago, kid?"
Lee rolled her eyes.
"Didn't live here six months ago," she reminded.
"Merlin, I wish I could say the same."
Lee liked Sirius. He was funny and slightly bitter. And he drank with her.
That was a habit she had picked back up. It hadn't been so compelling until they had moved into the dark prison of Sirius Black. But combine the depressing nature of Grimmauld Place with trauma and it just begs for alcohol.
She would find herself nursing a bottle of Ogden's finest when her nightmares became all too real. When she could feel the hot knives of the cruciatus and when her stomach throbbed with ghost pains.
She didn't tell Percy. He didnt need to worry about that. All that mattered right now was Ozzie.
She hoped that they would go away. Drinking seemed to help with that.
"When you get cleared, we can wreck this place until there's nothing left," Lee promised. "The most noble and ancient house can get fucked."
"Cheers to that."
They clinked glasses, each taking a long drink of firewhiskey.
As Lee set down her glass, the silence of the house was broken. A few floors up, Lee heard Ozzie's cries. With a groan she stood up.
"Duty calls."
"Good luck," Sirius chuckled. "And try to get some sleep, you really look like shite."
She gave him a very loving middle finger salute.
"Fuck off, all new parents are like that."
"You're a different breed, kid," he smirked.
Lee left him with that, climbing up the stairs. She entered the room, only to find Percy bending over the cradle.
He turned around with the crying child, slightly jumping when he saw her.
"You weren't in bed," he said.
"I was getting a drink," she replied. Technically true.
Percy didnt dispute this, focusing back on Oz.
It seemed he was unable to assess the situation, as after several minutes, he looked back up.
"Let me try," she held her arms out.
"He doesn't need changed or fed," Percy frowned, handing the baby over.
"Yes I saw," Lee remarked.
She rocked Oz back and forth. She hummed softly, trying to get him to calm down.
It was working.
"Okay, that is annoying," Percy huffed.
"Now you know how I felt," Lee smirked. "Soon enough I'll be the favourite."
"Yeah, okay."
"Please, we both know that I'm going to be the fun parent."
Percy shrugged, his scowl finally breaking.
"Yeah, I sort of figured that," he agreed. "One of us has to set the rules, and knowing you, it had to be me."
Lee kissed his cheek as she moved back towards the cradle. Ozzie had drifted back to sleep. He looked so sweet and peaceful when he wasnt putting banshees to shame.
Lee gently placed him back in bed.
"Where were you really?"
The question hurt more than it should have. He doubted her first response. He thought she was keeping something from him.
The guilt of Percy being right hurt more.
"I was getting a drink in the kitchen," she repeated, walking out of the room.
He quietly followed her back to their room.
"You were gone for an hour," he spoke softly, almost inaudible.
Lee could hear the pain in his voice.
"What do you want me to say, Perce?" She sighed.
They were in their room now. Lee frowned as he cast a silencing spell over the room.
"Just tell me whats wrong," he said. "And don't tell me its nothing. I've noticed these things you do-"
"Like what?" She snapped.
"Like jumping everytime someone calls your name," Percy supplied. "You dont sleep, at least, not enough. You get this absent look in your eyes, like your mind is somewhere else."
"So what, I'm acting a little weird," she defended. "Why are you making it such a big deal."
"You're not as good at covering up the smell of firewhiskey as you think you are."
Lee didn't have a response. She met the accusation with a challenging silence.
"You," he broke off. "You aren't yourself, Lee. You used to have so much energy for life. You were happy and now its rare to see you smile. At first I thought it was something about me. I first noticed how you had distanced yourself from me. I mean, we rarely talk about something other than Ozzie.
"But its not me, is it?"
He stared at her expectantly.
"Of course not," she replied.
"Then tell me what it is," Percy begged.
Lee bit her lip, pushing away the tears that were climbing up her throat.
"I dont know," she choked.
Lee took a moment to collect herself. She wiped the stray tear that had breached her defenses, and swalled the lump in her throat. Percy waited patiently.
"I-I've been having nightmares," she said slowly. "About that night. I dont like sleeping because they're always there. And I can feel it sometimes."
Lee hadn't told Percy what had happened. All he knew was what her mother had told him.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really," she shook her head. "It still hurts. It still terrifies me. Its like I can't get rid of that fucking night."
She couldnt help but cry now. It was the most intense emotions she had felt in weeks. Fear, sadness, anger, and grief all bundled up and exploding in her chest.
"They ruined his fucking birthday, Perce," she cried. "Every year all I will think about is that night. What a fucking buzzkill I'll be."
She probably would have laughed at her poor excuse for a joke. Had the situation been different.
"It won't always be like that," Percy argued. "It'll get better."
"I fucking hope so," she mumbled as Percy pulled her into a tight hug. "Because I'm so goddamn tired of feeling so numb."
Percy rubbed her back comforting.
"I'm here," he whispered into her hair. "I'll always be here."
And she knew it was true.
a/n: hello again, ik authors notes are pretty boring but i like talking to you all :). its nice to not just talk into the void sometimes..
i just finished my first semester in college (scary) so i actually have some time to write, so hopefully i can get another chapter done sometime relatively soon... hopefully.
and some of y'alls comments are too funny, leave some room for the rest of us dang...