My lovely friend Lynda thought it would be a good idea to take my mind off things. I didn't know what it was until she pulled me along to a bonfire party. Lynda grins at me as she offers a cup; I stare at it for a moment but eventually, I grab it.
Then gaze over the fire, feeling the warmth of it. They made it so high that the flames are flying in every direction on top. Good thing the snow has settled nicely onto the ground.
"Come on, smile a little," My friend said, and I did as she bumped her shoulder onto mine.
"There it is," She said happily; someone has a car playing music from the stereo in the background. There are a lot of unfamiliar faces. A few I know from school, though, and they always great when they see us.
A few guys are trying to climb up this tree with no branches; it's a challenge. You have to be able to reach the top. Only a couple of people has done it through the years. At least, that was what Lynda told me. I take a few stips from my cup and almost spit it back out.
"What is this?" I asked my friend.
"Vodka," She chuckles at my facial expression.
"Yeah, I know that, but it's so strong," I say as my throat is burning. It's not often I drink, but I can tell the difference.
"Don't worry, you will be fine," She waves, but then Anna and Johanna from the team appear, and I listen to their random conversation about guys they like and shouldn't. I'm not very interested, but I kept drinking in boredom as they won't stop talking.
I was about to take another slurp but realized my cup was empty. I asked Lynda to fill it up and pointed in the direction of a camping table where many bottles are standing. I filled my cup almost to the rime but compared to Lynda, I mixed it out.
"Hi, number ten," I shifted in my spot as I was about to drink, and I spilled half of it on my jacket. I turn with a frown, and she looks down at me.
"I'm sorry," Nico said, wrinkling her nose.
"It's fine," I brush the liquid off me and place the cup on the table.
"What are you doing here?" I question.
"I'm here with a couple of friends, who seem to have left me for someone else," She laughs, and I nod because I have been there. Nico straightened her beanie as she looked around herself. It's weird how The Howlers and The Griffiths can go along at a party. But if we were in town, it would have all been different. Perhaps it has something to with the lack of places to go and drink. I don't think I will ever know the answer to that. She gives me an awkward smile as the silence has found its place between us.
"Are you cold?" I wonder as she hugged herself.
"Yeah, it's a bit cold here. Why I came here in the first place is beyond me. I am not used to the cold," Nico grins at me, and for the first time in a month, I smile, a proper one.
"I have a blanket in the truck," I offered; luckily, Lynda knows how to drive that old thing when needed. She bites her lower lip as she is considering it but then gazes around in worry.
"I don't think I should," She said and took a step back. I nod as I take the hint.
"Well, I will see you around," I was about to leave but braked in my steps as I forget my cup.
"Kind need this," I lift my cup in the air lightly, and Nico smiles at me one last time as I made my way back to my friend. Lynda folded her arms over her chest when she saw me.
"What now?" I ask as I take a sip of my drink; it's defiantly better now.
"You shouldn't interact with her if you are not going to do anything about it," She tells me, and her whole face softened.
"I'm fine," I tell her with a broad grin, and it only made her roll her eyes at me.
"Wilder, give it a shot, please," She begs me.
"You told me the first time that it would be my destruction if I went for her," I remind my friend.
"Yeah, well," She bites her lip, not sure to say what is on her mind.
"I think you have already self-destructed yourself, Wilder," Lynda said, and I l clenched my jaw at her words, staring down at the snow that is resting on the cold ground.
"Yeah, probably," I sigh, handing over my cup to her.
"I'm just going to sit in the car for a little bit," I tell her, and she nods, understanding I need a moment for myself.
"I have the key, but your car is open," She said.
"Okay," I replied. After stumbling through the snow and the rocks, I finally found the truck in the end. Luckily I did it before the alcohol started to kick in. I had to pull out the blanket from the bag to keep myself warm.
I stare into the dark of the night, falling into my abyss. A place I should call home by now. It's never-ending. I have tried every direction, but I can't find a way out of my black hole.
A light knock on the window made me open my eyes. Nico smiles lightly at me, and I indicate that she can get in. She closes the door behind her as she sat down in the driver's seat, and I noticed she was shaking rapidly.
"Here," I say, lending her the blanket.
"No, it's okay," She smiled while quivering. I roll my eyes as I threw it all over her.
"If I had the keys, I would have turned the warmth on," I apologized.
"It's okay. Your friend, Lynda, sent me here," She said and held out the key to my truck.
"Okay," I have no idea why she would do that. She knows very well that I'm trying not to be around her, and now Lynda sends her my way.
"She wanted me to take you home," She smiles at me.
"How is she going to get home?"
"She was going with someone named Anna," Nico said, unsurely if she said the right name.
"I can take you home, Wilder, I don't mind. I would do anything to get away from here, and I can always ask one of my parents to pick me up at your place," She shivered severely.
"Sure," I shrug, and she starts the truck.
"You have winter tires, right?" She asks me in a hurry, seemingly worried.
"Yes," I roll my eyes, and she relaxed back into the seat and started to take us away from this place. As we made it back to the main road, the car began to warm up.
"Wow," Nico said as we both felt the back tire slide a bit to the side.
"I don't trust your car," She told me, and I raised my eyebrows.
"You know what I meant, and I have no experience when it comes to driving in the snow," She tells me, and I can see how tense she is sitting, holding onto the steering wheel tighter than usual.
"I think you are doing well," I tell her calmly because she is; the truck tends to slide at times. My words earned me a smile from her.
It might have felt like forever, but she parks the car in the empty driveway. Dad always goes to my grandparents when he knows I'm out. Nico takes a deep breath as she slides down in her seat.
"I don't think I have ever seen you scared," I mock her, and she frowned at me.
"Be grateful," She slaps my arm lightly, and it made me laugh so hard it hurt my stomach.
"Who said I wasn't," I smile, and we remain quiet as we gaze at each other. I could never get enough of looking at her; there is always something new to explore. A unique trait or feature that I'm frightened I would overlook.
"I think I should call my dad," She said, pushing herself up.
"You can stay over if you want to," I offered without looking at her, too embarrassed that I did that.
"It would save me from potential shouting and the need for an explanation on why I'm not at the sleepover with my friends," She chuckles.
"Is that a yes or a no?" I smile, but then she avoided my gaze by looking down at her hands.
"I should probably not," Nico said, and I nodded, knowing that she is right.
"Well, you can come in and wait until someone picks you up," I offered but stumbled out the door on the way to the house.
"Nico!" I turned as I felt something hard hit the back of my head, and my entire body shivered as the snow found its way down my neck. She is laughing her head off, frowning I pick up some snow. As I chase after her, I threw the ball and hit her in the leg. We continue to fire a few more but miss a couple of times.
"Ouch!" I shouted as she hit me in the eye.
"Are you okay?" She asked while I was blinking, feeling it sting. Before I could answer her, she placed her hand on my cheek.
"You are a bit red," She told me, sorry. When she touched me, it felt like a burn on my flesh. A spark that unfroze the winter that I have created. The ice melted from my bones, and the snow vanished, allowing blood to flow through my veins and straight back to my heart. It's like the sun shined on me for the very first time.
"Are you okay down there?" Nico smiled as she brushed my hair behind my ear. I parted my lips, remembering that she said that to me the first time we met.
"Are you okay up there?" I ask in return, and she grinned, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
"I don't get why you have to be so tall, though," I frowned, but she only bit her lower lip.
"I think it is because" She leans forward, and I close my eyes to the touch of her lips on my forehead. The goosebumps rushed through my skin, like the speed of lightning.
"So I can do that," She whispered, her breath warm on my skin. I can see the longing in her eyes. The same thing I have felt since the day I met her.
"I can't do this, Wilder," She said, and I took a step back because it felt like my heart had frozen over again.
"No," Nico closed her eyes for a moment but then found her way back to me.
"What I mean is that," She takes a deep breath.
"I can't seem to find my happiness and my love for the things that mattered since we kissed. I think you stole everything away from me, but when I am around you, I can feel it all. It's as if you pulled it out of me and took it," She explained to me, and I'm not sure how to respond to that.
"I can't stay away from you, and I want to know you more than I do now," She added, which feels like a huge relief because I can't take the distance anymore.
As Nico shivered, I decided to pull her into the house. She followed me upstairs to my bedroom, but she wouldn't stop trembling.
"You can lie down," I pointed at my bed in the corner, and with no hesitation, she slipped underneath the duvet. Stunned, my belly tickled by the view of how adorable she looks, holding onto the duvet as her head is resting on my pillow.
"Come here," She said, and I couldn't stop my eyes from widening. I think she knocked the air out of my lungs. Nico is the only one that has made my body turn against me. I can't control any emotions that she creates. The worst part is that they come out to show at times.
"Are you sleeping number ten?" She chuckles, waking me up from thoughts.
"No," I frowned as I went to turn off the light. Nico turned on the lamp on the nightstand and pushed herself further into the bed. She held up the duvet to invite me in, and I gladly accepted, even though I could feel everything in me shake to the very core.
I am met with a smile as I laid on the side. The green in her eyes is dominating the brown. No matter how many times I look into them, it's enchanting. As if they could cast a spell, and I would follow each command.
Those lips which are mocking me, telling me that I shouldn't kiss her. Yet I know now how they feel and how they taste. Perhaps that is the worst part. Once you have made that step, you can't go back. I put my foot through the crack of the door, and that was enough.
It all went so fast; is that how it is supposed to be? Do you just know right away when you like someone more than you should? Is it normal? I have no idea how can I? I'm seventeen and never felt anything like this before.
Nico's cold fingertips are trailing on my cheek, her mouth partly opened as she is so concentrated on the movement.
"Where did you get that?" I asked as I touched the scar on her cheek.
"Oh," She shook her head as if she woke up from a dreamful sleep.
"Soccer, you know," She grinned.
"It's the perks of being a goalkeeper. I mean, the clash with you and I left me with a few bruises," She wrinkled her nose all so cutely.
"But it seems like you are going to have that for a while," She placed her thumb over the scar on my eyebrow.
"I don't mind," I told her, and a smile of relief came onto her lips.
"Wilder?" She whispered; a blast of warmth found its way into my chest as my name left her mouth. I have heard it a million times before, but the way she says it is something quite else. As if it was only meant for her to use it.
"Yeah?" I whispered back and waited patiently on what she wanted to say. Nico bites her lower lip, gazing around as if what she wants to say is far too stuck to come out.
"Can I kiss you?" She asked, and my lips parted.
"What makes you think you have to ask?" I wondered.
"Because I feel like I have to," She said and laid her thumb on my bottom lip.
"Why?" I whispered.
"I'm scared you won't let me if I don't," She answered, and it sounded as if she was afraid that I would reject her.
"That would never happen," I said, not believing my ears as I dashed forward. My lips crashing on hers, and like the first time, it's pulling me through areas that I have never been before. Emotions that I have never experienced, and my body tingling in places it shouldn't. But I can't stop it. She just tastes that good, and her lips are softer than any cloud could ever be.
Nico let go slowly but remains so close, the warmth of her breath is hitting my mouth as we both lie in silence. Probably the most comfortable quietness I have ever had. I closed my eyes and tangled our legs together, hoping she will remain until the morning.