I gulped.
She looked at me, bewildered. We stared at each other for full 7 seconds before she looked away with a blush.
I licked my lips. She started tampering with her duppatta, refusing to look anywhere but the ground.
"I was just passing by" I said quickly, trying to avoid any misunderstanding, even though it would not be a misunderstanding at all. She hummed in agreement.
"I just heard the song" I persisted stupidly "it was so beautiful, I was drawn to it, I had no idea-" I continued to ramble trying to cook up anything which will convince her that I wasn't a creep, that I wasn't sneaking up on her. She laughed then.
I stopped short at the sound, and stared at her. She looked at me with a smile. And I blushed. I immediately looked at the ground as though it held the most fascinating mysteries.
"Zahir ji," she called me. I was preparing for it, her rough words and rebuttal...... Her rejection. And it wasn't a secret that the feelings I was harbouring for her was a blasphemy in our religion, for both of us. But it wasn't a secret that the part of Kashmir we lived in, death stalked us every moment. Me, because I was an army officer and her, because she was a hindu.
This put me in endless loop of nightmares, failing me from getting a full night's sleep. And then, in a place, where your life and death are an uncertainty, how much thought can you spare to the society leaving out your loved ones.
The thought tortured me.
"Come" she said in her light, airy voice. "Sit here," she said patting to the space beside her, on the rock placed near the edge of the cliff upon the mountain. "If you don't mind" she added, when I didn't move.
I gazed at her, feeling light headed.
'for real? She is inviting me to sit beside her? For.....real?!' I shook myself awake from my thoughts as she continued to look at me.
I smiled as I stepped towards her. Celebrating and kissing my brother on the inside. If not for him, why would I have found this place anyway.
I sat beside her, her warmth hitting me right through several layers of clothing, as though feeling her touch. I blushed.
She smiled and I smiled back.
He next words though, made me choke.
"How many times have you passed by here?"
I stared at her incredulously and she smiled.
"Not many- no, I mean, this is the first time, no, I-I mean, i-its not the way-" I struggled to explain but she cut me off with her laughter.
And then she looked at me, as though peering at my soul. And then looked at the vast spread of nature below us. The beautiful gorge, the large expanse of jungle, the river which snared inwards towards the city outskirts and beyond.
It was the treacherous territory which hid our enemies, but also the companion which hid us when needed. I had mixed opinion about it.
"Intimidating, isn't it?" She asked as she stared at the scenery below. I smiled.
"Not particularly" I said, humourous.
"Nothing is scary for an army man?" She joked and I laughed.
"What do you think?" I asked, rhetorical.
Her gaze deepened and her smile faltered. I gazed back. My smile too, no longer there.
"I think there are things which scare them too" she said, her voice low, but enigmatic. As though it hid a lot of secrets. Which I guessed she did.
"Hmm?" I hummed, puzzled.
She smiled, melancholic, and looked back towards the scenery.
"I was waiting today" her voice was cold, esoteric as she said these words. But they hit me in different ways. A warmth, the cold and finally the shock.
She knew? I stared at her as she hummed her Lullaby. She knew and that's what made her sad.
Something inside me was happy, very happy, jubilant! But I was afraid too, afraid to act upon whatever we had.
We sat there for a long time.
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