*****
Those we love never truly leave us. There are things that death cannot touch."
*****
Death. Something so natural yet no one is ever ready to embrace it. The old, as much as the young, dread its presence. But as nature would have it, everyone must face death once in their lives, whether it is at their old age, in their youth or some seconds after being born. Death is death, and its greatest consequence is the woe that is left behind to the loved ones of the dead.
Sharleen stood some centimeters near the grave. A grave that ironically is supposed to house her husband, the man she was supposed to love for rich and for poor, in sickness and in health, the man that she had shared with her bed for the past two years!
Nicole stood next to Sharleen watching her friend like a hawk. Her eyes never wavering from Sharleen's body. Sharleen really looked like she was about to faint any minute. Her red puffy eyes, her tear stained cheeks and her running nose was making Nicole really really worried.
It was not Nicole alone that was worried though. Sharleen's parents were also making frequent sideway glances to their daughter, her mother more frequent than her father. If it were not for Sharleen's father holding onto his wife's hand, she would have a long time ago left his presence and joined her daughter.
All the others who attended the funeral just stood a few feet behind, watching the casket while shaking their heads silently. In their minds they pitied the short life lived by the one that was lifeless in the casket and pitied more the young wife that he had left behind.
The pastor read a few verses from the bible he had on his hands and when he was done, he spoke some words of encouragement to friends and relatives and prayed for the soul of the deceased to rest in peace.
All that followed was like a dream to Sharleen. Six gigantic men, of course Devlin included, carried the casket to their shoulders like it was nothing and headed to the grave. Women who still had the energy cried their voices out, while those who did not just let their tears flow silently. The men consoled their wives while trying their best to fight their own tears and children just stood awkwardly watching the grown ups acting all weird.
Sharleen did not shed any tear as she watched the casket descending slowly down the grave. The process was so slow that she thought it was that way to mock or torture her shattered heart. No sound escaped her mouth though. Not even a whimper. How could she when her throat was so dry that it could anytime crack? How could she when her body was too tired that she could not even lift a finger?
"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust." The pastor said simply as though he was talking about food. If it were another day Sharleen would have scoffed or even giggled at his nonchalant nature.
The pastor did not waste any time and grabbed the spade, scooped some soil and directed it to the grave. Sharleen was next according to the traditions. Because she did not have the strength of balancing a spade in her small hands, she bent down, picked a handful of soil in her delicate fingers and threw to grave. Goodbye Kevin, her heart screamed what the mouth could not.
The function went on pretty fast after that. People paid their last respects and soon enough the spades were the only things that did the talking. People watched as the grave was filled until it formed a bump. Then one by one people started departing, everyone retiring to their homes, until it was only a handful left.
After sometime, Sharleen looked around. Her eyes landed on Devlin some feet away. His eyes were glued to the bump on the grave but as if sensing her eyes he looked towards her and their eyes locked. Devlin gave her a sad smile and Sharleen nodded. That was the most she could do. If she were to try a smile she was sure it would look like a grimace.
Sharleen unlocked her eyes from Devlin when she saw her parents coming to where she was. The pitiful and worried look that her mother was giving her made her want to close herself in a room and sleep herself away from reality. Her father though looked at her with an encouraging smile that she replied with nodding.
"Hey baby." Her mother started. "We as your parents really feel your pain." Not really, you don't. "We will be here with you every step. Anything that we might help, don't hesitate to ask. Family sticks together, right?" Her mum asks slowly.
Sharleen could only nod her head.
"My daughter," Her father cleared his throat. "God is always watching and everything he does is for a reason. Maybe Kevin was too good for this sinful world that God wanted him on the other side or maybe God wanted to avoid a worse scenario in future. All in all have faith in the Lord my girl and he will give you the comfort that not even any of us can." Nelson concluded his speech.
Sharleen just nodded.
The couple hugged their daughter. Tears streaming freely from mother's eyes to her daughter's back. The father just sighed and hugged his daughter tighter while the daughter awkwardly stood there, in the embrace of her parents while her eyes glued to the freshly filled grave.
"Come on, lets take you home." Nicole, who was silent near her friend said once the parents have had a moment with their daughter. Sharleen nodded once again and allowed her friend to lead her home.
In her mind though Sharleen knew her home would never be the same again. In fact the place would not be a home anymore but a house. Kevin was her home, and now her home was six feet under.
The walk home was quiet. The harsh and cold wind greeted Sharleen's exposed skin, not that she complained. She even hoped that the cold could numb her feelings even even it was for seconds but sadly the feeling were like tattoos on her heart and not on her skin.
They reached home after some thirty minutes. Opening the door, Sharleen was surprised to see people feasting. Food and beverages filled the tables around the house like crazy. People were talking and laughing with each other with food in their mouths like they were here for a reunion party and not a funeral!
But Sharleen could do nothing. It was tradition. Feasting after a funeral service was a norm in their community. Never had a practice disgust her as this one did right now!
Sharleen stormed away from the place, straight to hers and her husband's bedroom, well her bedroom now. Nicole on her toes careful that nothing should happen to her best friend. The sweet aroma of different kinds of food terrorised their noses but instead of wanting to inhale more, Sharleen felt like puking her guts out with every inhale.
Reaching her room, Sharleen dived in the bed and curled herself on her husbands side of the bed. The sheets still smelled like him, hell, the entire room did.
Sharleen remembered the first days into their marriage how Kevin was patient with her. For a month after the wedding Kevin had converted a sofa in the living room to his personal bed, letting her have the whole bedroom to herself.
She remembered how he tried his best to woo her. Every morning he would prepare her breakfast in bed and every night he would join her with popcorns to watch her favourite show. He would always complement on how beautiful she was even if it was when she had just woken up and had her pyjamas on!
Needless to say, as days passed, she started warming up to him. She even found herself anticipating for his return every time he went to work. She found herself blushing at his complements and even enjoying the meals he cooked more than her own!
Even though her heart longed for Devlin sometimes, she decided to give Kevin a chance and it was a decision she would never regret. In the two years she got a taste of how a perfect gentleman treats his woman. Kevin surely knew his way to a woman's heart. When she was around him she was either laughing at his lame jokes, blushing at his sexual complements or smiling at his gentle treatment as though she was glass that would break any moment.
"Sharleen, would you mind anything to eat? I am starving!" Nicole, who was silent for some minutes besides her friend asked. Nicole was not hungry though, she was just worried that her friend had not taken any food or drink since the sun was up.
Sharleen just shakes her head no.
"Fine, what about fruits, ha? You love apples! I am going to bring apples. You just wait here a minute." Nicole said and stormed off before her friend could shake her head again.
Sharleen just sighed. She was not hungry but tired. Her friend could not understand that. Nicole was a good friend though, she was her comfort whenever the pain was too much and also her only link to reality when all this felt like a dream.
"Am back. Here are the apples. Take this one." Nicole shoved one of the apples from the plate she came with to Sharleen's right hand.
Sharleen looked at her friend with a scowl but decided to have a taste of the yummy looking apple. She took a bite, a bigger bite, and crushed the content with her teeth while her taste buds savoured the sweet taste.
Like it was too good to be true, the once sweet taste changed from its sweet like honey to bitter like acid, forcing Sharleen to spit off the content on the floor. Nicole was quickly by her side offering comforting words.
That was not all though. Nicole felt like the contents in her stomach wanted out, and the only way was through the mouth. She quickly rushed to the bathroom, her friend not leaving her side, and started puking all over the sink.
Puking when there is no food in the stomach is a really painful process and Sharleen experienced it first hand. She felt as if her intestines too wanted to be puked.
In that painful process, Sharleen was in thoughts. Her body had been behaving differently for the last few days. Her constant loss of appetite, her mood less nature, puking all over... It all adds up to one thing.
She might be pregnant.
She puked again.
*****