Mirha was writing down the answer to the question Hadi had asked, with several other thoughts brimming in her mind.
There was so much in her life to worry about. Her aunt at home whose condition was worsening every day, even though her uncle had taken her to the hospital paying the charges from the money Mirha had sent from her first month's salary.
Then there was this damned job she was forced to go to. Even though she didn't have to face any such thing in the next couple of days, she knew workplace harassment was something she had to bear with as long as she wanted to get paid. There really was nothing she could do about it for filing a complaint was not even an option, especially in the absence of a suspect.
Then there was this end of the module exam she had been dreading from the very beginning, which was now next week. She didn't want to let Hadi down and disappoint him, she didn't want to let all his hard work over her be all in vain. Mirha wanted to prove to all the professors that she had potential.
And then finally there was her newfound feelings for Hadi, if she called it that, that surged extreme frustration in her whenever she was alone and found herself thinking about him. Embarrassed, she would jerk her mind off, reprimanding herself for having such thoughts.
To put a stop to it, though, her life itself was giving her a chance. Once getting done with the exam she'd immediately be gettin back to her village to spend the one week break, with a promise that for the next module she'd study herself, following the teaching methods of Hadi. The only way to get rid of the feelings she can't explain even to herself.
Right now as her hand moved over the paper, she could feel his eyes boring into her, but no matter how many times she shifted in her seat his gaze just wouldn't let her go. Willing for the heat to not rise to her face and neck, she simply refused to look at him.
"Feeling any better?" She heard him ask and made go with just a nod and a hum, knowing that he was mentioning that incident in the mall.
"Good."
Then after a short pause. "Why don't you have any friends?"
"Because I'm not like the girls in my class." She said quietly and bit down on her lower lip as she came to the end of the answer, racking her mind desperately for something else to write.
"So?"
"So I don't understand the stuff they're talking about, and-"
"And?"
"I don't have anything to say to start a conversation."
"Well, you seem to have a lot to say to me."
Her heart thudded inside her chest. Mirha shrugged lightly. "Because you listen. They don't want to know about my life in the village."
Silence stretched. Mirha tried to think something to get a few extra words for the answer.
"Done?" Hadi finally said.
"What?" She looked up.
"Your answer," he said looking pointedly at her notebook, "is it done?"
"Yes." Nodding, she slid the book in his direction and waited as he read down the page.
Hadi looked up, the corners of his lips curled to shape a smile on his face. "Good. I must say I'm impressed."
She blushed. "Thank you."
"I'm sure you'd do great in the exam."
"I hope." Mirha grinned sheepishly. "Thank you Hadi, I can never be grateful enough."
He shrugged, his smile stretching up a little. "Not a problem at all."
"In the next module I'll apply all your methods myself, see where I can get myself to."
His eyebrows furrowed. "You won't be needing stc any more?"
Mirha shook her head. "No, I want to try myself."
"And notes?"
She thought for a moment, wondering if asking for his notes again would raise people's suspicions any more, for by now she was made aware that Hadi wasn't one to help someone that easily. And if he was helping her, people were bound to talk, much less of what they were already doing. "No." She finally said.
"Any special reason behind that decision. Apart from that, I-want-to-try-myself shit?"
She stared at him surprised and shook her head once again.
Hadi let loose a soft laugh. "Come on, Mirha. I know you're lying. Plus as much as I know you do need stc, I enjoy teaching you. It's a fun experience. It's my last year anyway, might as well do something while I'm free."
He had a point there, and not knowing how to object to that she blurted out and immediately regretted later. "It's also because people are talking."
Hadi frowned. "Talking about what?"
Mirha averted her gaze.
"Mirha?"
"They're throwing false accusations at me. That I have something going on with you because you're helping me out. And it's suspicious because you're apparently not that kind and helpful." She rushed with the words and sighed immediately after, heaving a long breath.
"And why am I so bad to be associated with?"
"Huh?" Looking up at Hadi, Mirha saw that he had his eyes trained on her, wearing a flat expression on his face. "No no no. I meant with anybody. You know I'm not-"
"Right." He interjected. "Did Sasha say something to you?"
"Who?" She raised her eyebrows, blankly, recalling nobody of that name she knew.
"Never mind." He said, "Though if what people are saying is not true, then why do you care. I mean, let them talk."
No! Definitely it's not true. "Yeah." Mirha mused. She added after a pause. "You're right.
"Cool." Hadi smiled faintly. "Then, am I seeing you later for the next module?"
Mirha grinned. "Yes. Thank you."
---
It was Tuesday. All the freshmen from the Computer Science department milled around the Examination Hall, talking in urgent, anxious tones. Everyone was here before time not wanting to be even a millisecond late and get excluded from the exam as a consequence.
Mirha among them, with a rapidly beating heart, said every prayer she could come up with, refusing to let anything regarding algorithms come to her mind, not until she had the question paper in front of her, lest she forgot whatever she'd learnt, everything disappearing with a puff. Wringing her fingers, she squeezed her eyes shut leaning against the wall and heaved a long breath.
"It's time!" A girl squealed to her right.
Opening her eyes, Mirha strode towards the glass door to get to the examination hall, with confident steps, amongst her batch mates.
---
Unable to help but smile at every question as the answers rushed to her brain, supplying with the image of the pages of the textbook, Mirha's hand moved rapidly across the question booklet.
Exhilarated, proud, floating on cloud nine, she exited the hall with other students talking among themselves. Stopping a little distance away from the glass double doors, she waited for the girl in her class she'd talked to a dozen of times, wanting desperately to share her answers with someone.
Only a moment later she caught a glimpse of the girl with shoulder length hair, bangs of which were falling down to her eyes. Mirha waved.
Grinning, the girl approached her and asked, her voice high pitched, "How did you do, Mirha?"
"For the first time, actually amazing!" Mirha replied grinning back, unable to contain the giddiness.
"Great! What about that optimization question, huh? What answer did you get?" Tucking a wisp of hair behind her ear, the girl asked, digging a hand in her bag as she looked for something.
Mirha got the impression that she was deliberately avoiding her eye as if embarrassed for doubting her own answer. Particularly confident about this question, some of Mirha's excitement dimmed as she peered at her unsurely. "5.80909."
"What?" She frowned. "No. Blekh, that even sounds so wrong. Mine was 58, Mirha. I think-" she turned around as her friend appeared from behind her and immediately forgetting about Mirha spoke excitedly with the other girl.
Dispirited, Mirha sighed, and averting her gaze stared at blind spot past the pillar.
"See you later Mirha." The two girls said and sauntered off.
With heavy steps, she made her way back to the hostel to get her luggage she'd packed at night. She kept thinking about the same question, beginning to doubt the remaining as well. A lump formed in her throat, the need to discuss the paper with someone was growing impatient in her heart. She wanted to talk to somebody, somebody who'd be ready to listen until she ran out of words.
---