Jordan sighed as she worked on cleaning up the living room, picking up the crumbs from the chips and the stray popcorn that littered the floor from when Jungkook threw it at her.
She immediately set the empty bowls back on the table when she heard a knock at her door, rushing to open it for her boyfriend.
The smile on her face dropped when she noticed his serious expression. She felt her heart beat just a little faster as her hands slightly shook, feeling nervous about having this conversation.
"Hey," she said, her voice small as she mustered up a smile.
"Hey," he replied, his voice slightly tense as he stared at her, trying to figure out where to even begin.
He followed her into the living room and sat down on the couch, glancing around the room before trying to figure out how to start this conversation. As he sat there, he couldn't help but think about how, not too long ago, there were two other men here, two idols from one of the biggest bands in the world, sitting with her watching Netflix. His insecurities immediately kicked in and he couldn't help but let his thoughts get to him.
She mentioned earlier that Jungkook had been there too, a name he was all too familiar with considering that he was one who always seemed to be texting her along with Namjoon. Sure, there were other names that would pop up on her screen, but those were the two that were always blowing up her phone and he couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy by it.
She could fall for any of them, and he was sure they could easily fall for her... I mean, how could they not? She was a beautiful woman who was smart and caring, many positive attributes that could make any man develop a liking towards her.
As his eyes roamed around the room, they stopped on the painting hanging on her wall, his jaw clenching slightly as he felt irritated knowing that it was a gift from one of the guys.
Jordan noticed his gaze resting on the painting and sighed heavily before sitting next to him on the couch. Her hand lightly brushed against his jaw, pulling his attention back to her as she looked at him sadly, wishing that she knew how to take his insecurities away. No matter how many times they had this conversation and how many times she reassured him that she loved him, he still had his doubts.
"You're upset," she stated, observing the way his eyes avoided hers. He felt ashamed about his behavior and didn't know how to talk to her about it either.
She leaned in, her lips lightly brushing against his as she lifted his head up, a soft kiss placed on his lips. He sighed and tightly shut his eyes, reaching out for her hips as he held onto her tightly, trying to hold onto this moment for just a little bit longer.
She smiled into the kiss as she felt his touch, bringing about a sense of comfort and security since that's the effect that he had on her. With him, she felt safe and loved, she just wished that she had that same effect on him.
It wasn't easy for him to pull away, but he had to. The internal struggle and the pain he was feeling was clearly written on his expression, his eyes staring deeply into hers.
"You've been spending a lot of time with the guys lately and I don't feel comfortable with that," he mumbled, trying to figure out how to express his concerns without sounding like a complete ass right now.
"I wouldn't say it's a lot," she replied, her voice inaudible as she spoke. "It's only once a week for game night, what's wrong with that?" she asked, feeling this gnawing feeling of guilt in her stomach, but she didn't know why. Why should I feel guilty for hanging out with my friends? Why is he making me feel bad about it?
"But they're constantly texting you too, and then there's the movie nights and going out to cafes," he argued, feeling exasperated as he hoped that she would understand why this was a problem. He felt like the more time she spent with them, the further away he got from her.
"That's what you do with your friends, right? You hang out and play games and spend time together. Why are you so bothered by this? Even if I hang out with them, I still make sure to make time for you, for us," she reasoned.
"I know you do baby, but... Why is it always them? Can't you try to find some new friends?" he asked, silently pleading with her to not be around the guys as much.
"Why? Because they're guys? I've told you before, I'm not interested," she reassured, tired of having the same fight lately.
"I know you're not baby, but-"
"No buts," she interrupted. "If you trust me, this wouldn't be a problem," she argued, feeling frustrated herself about this whole situation.
"I do trust you Jordan, I really do. I just... I feel like you've been spending so much time with them, and then you have them constantly texting you... I just want you to myself sometimes, and I feel like I don't get that time lately. I know that it sounds selfish and childish, but I don't want to have to compete for your attention," he told her.
"You don't have to do that though," she replied. "I love you and only you, why can't you see that?"
"I know you do, and I love you too baby, but I need you to understand where I'm coming from," he said.
"So what do you want me to do? Just cut them off completely?" she asked, feeling the anger bubbling within. He hesitated, avoiding her gaze while she scoffed at his lack of verbal response. "You're kidding me, right?"
"Like I said, I don't want to have to fight for your attention Jordan," he said. "If you want to keep seeing them and hanging around them, then that's fine, but you need to know that I can't sit by and watch anymore. You have to make a choice, me or them," he said, presenting her with an ultimatum.
Jordan felt her eyes well up as she stared at the man in front of her, feeling her heart slowly tearing as she tried to process his words. "I though you loved me," she whispered, her voice fragile and broken as she felt the tears streaming down her face.
He glanced up at her, his heart dropping in his stomach at the sight of her tears. He didn't mean to make her cry, but he didn't know what else to do. He wasn't going to feel at ease until she stopped seeing them and she needed to know that. "I do love you Jordan, and if you love me, then this should be an easy decision to make," he said.
"I can't do that," she replied, sniffling as she stared at him, hoping that maybe she can figure out a way to make it work and show him that he didn't have to worry about the other guys. He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to her lips before standing up.
"Then I can't stay. I'm sorry Jordan," he breathed out, dragging his feet as he left her apartment. She bit her lip as she tried to suppress a sob, falling back onto the couch and curling up into a ball as the tears streamed down her face. Her arms wrapped around her legs, holding on tightly as she finally cried, feeling empty and heartbroken.
-♛-
Namjoon's hand was wrapped around Jordan's wrist as he dragged her to the entrance of the dorm, an angry pout on her face as she wore one of her ex's large shirts that he had left behind, paired with a pair of ripped jeans.
Namjoon had barged into her apartment this morning, insisting that she stop moping around as he refused to let her waste another weekend wallowing in self pity. She had managed to go through the motions of her work and school routine throughout the past two weeks, but ignored text messages and calls from the guys.
Her closest friend, being concerned about her well being, stopped by quite a few times over the past two weeks, a couple of times after their concerts in Seoul and once on his day off to check up on her. Namjoon was worried about Jordan, especially after he got her text letting him know that she had broken up with her boyfriend without much explanation.
The only reason why he was finally able to get her out of the apartment was because she had ordered food to be delivered for breakfast that morning and made the mistake of opening the door without checking to see who it was.
Her food arrived while she was getting dressed for the day, but it was left abandoned on her kitchen counter since Namjoon immediately led her out of the apartment, insisting that she could use some fresh air and that there would be food at the dorm.
Walking through the door she was eagerly greeted by Hoseok and Jimin, both of them pulling her into a comforting hug as a small smile made it's way to her lips, enjoying the affectionate gesture. Jimin held on a few seconds longer, telling her how much they missed her.
"You've missed out on quite a lot! Taehyung's gotten better at Uno," Jimin joked, causing Jordan to let out a light chuckle. A sincere smile formed on her lips as Jimin easily distracted her, sharing more about all the other stuff she's missed out on from the past two weeks.
The four of them headed towards the dining room, a nice spread of various food laid out for breakfast. Some of the other men were already seated, filling up their plates when they looked up and cheered as they greeted their guest.
"Where's Jungkook and Yoongi?" Namjoon asked, glancing around to notice two members missing.
"Yoongi's been locked away in his studio working on some new stuff and refuses to come out, Jungkook should be down shortly," Jin said, offering Jordan a warm smile as she sat next to him.
She glanced around the table, reaching for a piece of toast and settling on spreading some jam on it before taking a small bite, not saying much as some of the others worriedly glanced at her.
-♛-
That evening, there was a lot of drinking for game night. Jimin was the one who actually suggested opening up a bottle of Soju, an idea that Jordan eagerly agreed to. She had downed her second shot for the evening, a lopsided grin on her features as she glanced at the cards in her hands.
"Slow down," Joon whispered, trying not to draw too much attention to them as he nervously glanced at his friend. He'd been cautiously observing her all day, trying to make sure that Jordan was okay since she wasn't her usual, bubbly self earlier. It appeared that the alcohol was slowly starting to change that though as she giggled at his words.
"Stop worrying so much Joonie! I'm fine," she reassured, smile widening as she turned her attention back towards the game, excitedly putting down a card since it was her turn. "Uno!" she shouted, jumping in her seat as she tightly held onto the last card.
Jungkook had also been watching her all day, hoping that she was okay. He felt a bit guilty for feeling so damn happy to hear that she was no longer with her boyfriend and tried to push aside the fantasies in his head of starting something with her. Now's not the time for that, she's still upset about her break-up.
"Uno!" Taehyung shouted, pulling Jungkook out of yet another daydream as he glanced down at his own set of cards, realizing he still had five left. He'd been off his game and distracted the whole evening, he was just glad that no one really questioned it. Instead, they settled on teasing him, which he didn't mind at all.
Namjoon watched as his friend poured yet another shot, letting out a small sigh before he took the glass away from her just as the rim of it touched her lips.
"Hey!" she exclaimed, a small pout forming as she glared at him.
"No, I'm cutting you off. I understand you're feeling down, but I'm not going to sit here and watch you get shit-faced so you can deal with whatever it is that you're going through," he told her. The room went really quiet as they glanced at the two, noticing the evident tension between them as Jordan glared at Namjoon, who continued to stand his ground.
"I understand that you're hurting, but how long are you going to put yourself through this? How long are you going to cry over that asshole? Break-ups happen, you learn from it and move on," he told her, voice harsher than he intended it to be.
"Fuck you," she muttered, her eyes welling up as she continued to glare at him. "You don't know anything about it. I know that you want to believe that he was a bad guy, but I loved him. He made me feel safe and made me laugh and took care of me. So yes, I'm hurt and I'm sad, but I think that I'm allowed to choose how I cope with it without you judging me for it," she replied, throwing her card on the table before rushing out of the room, heading towards the bathroom in order to hide as she felt embarrassed for being treated like a child in front of everyone.
Namjoon called her name, immediately regretting his choice of words but she was already out of sight. She rushed into the bathroom and closed the door, not even bothering to lock it as she leaned against the wall, feeling her chest tighten as tears started streaming down her face. She let out a small sob, sinking to the ground as she wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her head in her arms.
She heard a knock at the door and glanced up, wiping her tears before clearing her throat. "Go away," she croaked out.
As much as Jungkook wanted to respect her privacy and leave her alone, he was still worried and figured he would at least try and talk to her. "It's me," he said, hoping that she would open the door for him.
"Look, I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone Jungkook," she replied, her voice slightly broken.
He let out a small sigh as he grabbed the door handle, surprised that it was unlocked as it opened. "I know you're upset, but I'm coming in," he said,entering the bathroom before closing the door behind him, taking a seat in front of her as his doe eyes met her puffy, red ones. "You okay?" he asked before realizing how stupid it was to ask her that. She's obviously not okay you dumbass.
"Why are you here Jungkook?" she asked, wiping away her tears as she stared at him.
"To make sure you're okay," he replied, a soft smile on his lips as his gaze remained locked onto hers. "You're always there for me when I have a tough time, so I want you to know that I'm here for you too, whatever you need," he sincerely told her.
She pouted, touched by his kindness and his sweet words. "You're a good friend Kookie," she said, grinning while his smile faltered slightly, feeling his stomach clench at the thought that that's probably all she'll ever see him as.
"Yeah," he muttered, trying not to dwell on the effect that one little sentence had on his mood. "Well, whenever you're ready to go back down, Namjoon hyung would like to talk to you," he told her while she pouted again, crossing her arms as she childishly shook her head.
"I'm not talking to that jerk," she replied, causing Jungkook to giggle at her behavior.
"I think you should at least give him a chance. He feels really bad about what happened and would like to apologize," Jungkook admitted. After she had walked away, Namjoon knew he had messed up and immediately felt bad for what he said, realizing that he probably should've chosen his words more carefully instead of recklessly blurting things out.
He wanted to go after her, but Jin and Yoongi suggested he stay put and give her some space for now, which is when Jungkook volunteered to go check on her.
Jungkook watched as she pondered the idea before letting out a small sigh. "I guess I should give him a chance to at least apologize," she mumbled while Jungkook nodded, standing up before holding out his hand, which Jordan took as he helped her up.
As soon as she was on her feet, she couldn't stop herself as she impulsively leaned into him, her lips softly meeting his. Jungkook's hands remained at his sides, clenched tightly into fists while she continued to kiss him, her arms wrapping around his waist.
It took Jungkook a few seconds to wrap his head around what was happening before responding to the kiss, his hands eagerly resting on her hips as he pulled her a bit closer, her chest pressing against his. When her tongue touched his bottom lip, he seemed to come out of his trance, pulling away before glancing down at her.
He felt slightly guilty for selfishly getting carried away. She had been drinking and was getting over a break-up, this was not the time for him to be taking advantage of her vulnerability. "Jordan," he breathed out while she grinned, amused by his stunned reaction. "We shouldn't, you're drunk," he added while she simply shook her head.
"I'm a big girl Kook, I know what I'm doing. I may have had a few shots, but I'm not that drunk," she admitted.
To be honest, she didn't know what came over her when she decided to kiss him... maybe it had to do with the fact that he was genuinely a nice guy, or maybe it was because of the way she liked having his attention and how he wanted to take care of her. Regardless of the reason, she knew one thing for sure: she sure as hell enjoyed that kiss more than she thought she would and wished she could kiss him again.
A/N: Hello!! Sorry for the long chapter, I honestly feel like this book is going to be longer than I planned... but, I was eager to share another chapter so I hope you liked it!
Let me know your thoughts so far!
-Em