"Good bye, Jazen." I said then I left him alone, sitting on the couch. Dating him again is a once in a million opportunity but dating him once again is like deepening the wound. I don't know anymore. Nasanay ko na yung sarili ko na wala siya sa buhay ko. Minsan ko na siyang nasaktan at ayoko nang maulit muli 'yon.
Paglabas ko sa hospital ay naabutan ko si Jian na nakatayo sa gilid. Tinawag ko ang pangalan niya para malaman niyang nandito na ako sa labas. Nagpaalam siya sa akin na kukunin niya muna yung kotse kaya hinintay ko siya sa gilid kung saan niya ako hinintay kanina.
"How was it?" he asked while he's driving.
"How was what?" I asked.
"Talking to your ex?" ani Jian.
"Great." I said. "Not until he told me to date him again."
"Oh, what's the problem?" asked Jian. "Why don't you give it a try? Again?"
"Why would I?" I asked out of confusion. "I once hurt him. I don't want that to happen again."
"Bakit mo kasi pinapangunahan ng negativity?" tanong ni Jian. "Come on, Ara. Look on the positive side."
Nanatili akong tahimik dahil sa sinabi ni Jian. Jian asked me if I wanna have a coffee and I said yes. Napagdesisyonan namin ni Jian na huminto sa isang coffee shop. He want a good and proper talk for me. That's what he said and I agreed. He ordered a frappe for me. Nang makaorder na si Jian ay bumalik na siya siya sa table namin at hinintay nalang namin na dumating yung order.
"Going back to the topic. Don't be too negative, Ara." Jian said. "Hindi ka ba naniniwala sa love is sweeter the second time around?"
"Ampochi, ang corny mo naman, Jian." natatawa kong sabi kay Jian.
"Loko, seryoso 'yon." sabi ni Jian at natawa din siya. "Alam mo, wala namang mawawala kung bibigyan niyo ulit ng isa pang pagkakataon yung kayo. Except sa pride mong bruha ka."
"Hindi ko na talaga alam kung seryoso ka ba sa mga sinasabi mo o ano eh." sabi ko. "Inaamin ko, mapride ako. Pero wala namang mali sa ayaw ko siyang masaktan diba?"
"Oo nga. Pero kakambal ng magmahal ang masaktan. Ang mahalaga, mahal mo. Pag mahal mo, iiwasan mo yung mga bagay na magiging dahilan para masaktan siya." ani Jian.
"Eh bakit ko piniling iwan siya kahit mahal ko siya?" naguguluhan kong tanong.
"Hindi talaga mawawala yung ganyang sitwasyon. Life will let you choose but with two difficult choices." said Jian. "Wag mong pigilan yung sarili mo sa mga bagay na mahal mo. Alam kong alam mo sa sarili mo na si Jazen pa rin. All these years, walang bago. Siya pa rin. Tama ba?"
"You got it right, Ji." I said.
"You're done chasing and choosing your dreams." said Jian. "Now, it's time to choose Jazen."
"Thank you, Jian." I said as I wiped these tears off of my face. "I'm not yet done chasing my dreams. He's the dream I wanna chase over and over again."
Nang makuha na namin ang order namin ay napagdesisyunan na naming umuwi ni Jian. He told me to give myself some time to think about things. A week later, I've decided to pay a visit at the hospital where my Mom's having her check up. I told Jian about this and he even offered a ride but I refuse to accept his offer.
"Hello, excuse me." sabi ko sa isang nurse.
"Good morning, Attorney Gonzales!" the nurse greeted which made me smile. Kilala na niya ako dahil madalas kami ni Mommy dito. "May appointment po ba kayo today with Doc Santiago?"
"No, wala." I said. "I'm actually looking for Doctor Falcon."
"I heard someone mentioned my surname." someone behind me said. "What's the matter, Attorney?"
"Hey." I said then I smiled stupidly without knowing why. "Can we talk?"
"We're already talking, Attorney." he said.
"Whatever. I'm leaving." I said at akma akong maglalakad palayo nang hawakan niya ako sa palapulsuhan ko.
"Hey!" Jazen called the attention of a nurse. "If someone's looking for me, tell them I'm on a date." he said then he winked.
"Yes, doc." the nurse answered.
"Where are we going, lady?" asked Jazen.
"Sa dulo ng walang hanggan." I said. Sinama ko siya sa parking kung saan ko ipinark ang kotse ko tsaka ko siya pinasakay sa kotse ko. Nagtaka pa siya nang magdrive ako.
"So, saan nga tayo pupunta, Madam?" he asked dahil nagtataka pa rin siya.
"You said you want me to date you again." I said. "Let's date then."
Nanatili kaming tahimik hanggang sa makarating kami sa lugar kung saan ko siya gustong dalhin. Nakita ko pa ang gulat niyang reaksiyon nang makita niya kung nasaan kami.
"What are we doing here?" he asked. "Ililibing mo na ba 'ko ng buhay? Yun ba ibig sabihin ng dulo ng walang hanggan mo? Kaya tayo nandito sa sementeryo?" sunod sunod niyang tanong. I laughed.
"We're here." I said nang makapagpark na ako. "Baba na. Di kita ililibing, trust me."
"Ara.." gulat na sabi ni Jazen. "Bakit 'di mo sinabi?"
"I'm sorry. We kept it private. I told my mom to keep it private." I said.
"Alam ba 'to nila Ali?" he asked and I nodded. "How about Allen and Kio?" he asked at umiling ako.
"The truth is, we weren't able to leave the country." I said. "Kaya eto, abogado ako ngayon."
"What happened?" asked Jazen.
"Dad was sick. Hindi niya na piniling lumaban." I said. "He chose to rest."
"I'm sorry, Ara." he said. "I'm sorry I wasn't by your side during those painful days of yours."
"It's fine." sabi ko. "I chose to be alone that's why I asked Mom to keep it private."
"I'm sorry.." Jazen said.
"Don't be, Jazen." I said. "Ang mahalaga, kasama kita ngayon."
"Ara.." he called my name pero hindi ko siya nilingon dahil umupo ako sa damuhan para sindihan ang kandila ng Daddy.
"Hi, Daddy!" nakangiti kong sabi habang nilalapag ko ang dala kong bulaklak. "I know you've already met Jazen, but I want you to meet him again now pero as a doctor. Dad, this man standing next to me, this is the man I wanna marry."
"Ara.." I heard Jazen called my name again kaya tumayo na ako tsaka ko pinagpag ang tuhod ko.
"Yep, you've heard it right." I said. "I know, I know. I should be over all these butterflies, but i'm still into you." Nagulat ako nang bigla niyang hawakan ang kamay ko dahilan upang humarap ako sa kanya.
"If I were asked who I want to be with forever, my answer will always be you." he said and I couldn't help but to cry. "Ilang taon man ang lumipas, wala pa ring magbabago. Ikaw pa rin ang gusto ko."
"Jazen.." ang tangi kong nasabi kasabay ng pagpatak ng luha mula sa mga mata ko.
"We can never tell where destiny will take us, but if we ended up again, being not together, the spot here in my heart will remain yours, forever." he said. I remained standing as I listened to his words. "I love you, Ara, always and forever."
"The words, Jazen, you took them away from me." I said. "There's nothing more I could say than I love you too, and I always do. I'm still that lady scorpion who shouts your name the loudest during your games. And I will always be your lady scorpion."
"Will you be mine again, Ara?" Jazen asked and that made me cry again.
"No will never be an answer, Mon Amour." I said then he hugged me.
"I would always want to spend eternity with you." ani Jazen. Muli kong naramdaman yung pakiramdam na matagal ko nang hinihintay nang maramdaman ko ang labi niya sa labi ko. This moment tastes like forever. I wouldn't trade this moment for anything.
I will never get tired of taking the path going back to this man. This story was filled with love and tears. They said that 'there's always a rainbow after the rain,' but for me, choose to love again after the pain. Chances does not exist just to be a word. Chances exist to be given even a million times. I realized that life will lead us to the right person at the wrong moment, but everything will fall in place in His time.
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The virtue of love I once found in Mendiola, now can be seen in the eyes of my king scorpion.
Always,
Atty. Arabella Courtney Gonzales & Dr. Jazen Clyde Falcon
END.