Tonight's the night we find the gold. We all pile into John B's van headed for the Crain house.
"You got rope?" John B asks.
"Got it," Pope states.
"Grappling hook?" John B asks.
"We don't have a grappling hook. We're not Batman," I tell him.
"Pulley?" John B asks.
"Check," Kie tells him.
"Dark Clothes?" John B asks.
"Got it," Sarah tells him.
"Flashlights?" John B asks.
"Check," JJ replies.
"All right, good. We're ready," John B states.
"Lets go," Kie says.
"Let's go get rich, guys," JJ offers.
"Yeah. Hell, yeah," I agree.
"Go, boys," Sarah says.
"And girls," Kie adds.
John B opens the side door to the van.
"Let's go," Pope says.
"Let's roll," JJ states.
"Right on," I say.
We start to get out of the van but John B stops us, "Wait, wait. I wanna say thank you, guys. Seriously. It means a lot to me that you're here tonight."
"Always," Kie tells him.
"Of course, man," Pope says.
He and John B do their handshake. "My man."
"All right, we done with the circle jerk? Can we go do this?" JJ asks.
"Yep," I say.
"Let's get that wheat in the water," Pope says.
"Weed? I'm up for weed," JJ says.
"Wheat. I said wheat," Pope tells him.
"After you," Kie tells Sarah.
Sarah starts to climb the stone wall. "Ladies first."
"Alley-oop," I tell her.
We walk through the yard the same way we did the other day. We stop in front of the house and a porch light comes one.
"Shit!" I say.
"Oh, shit! Go, go, go, go," John B says.
We hide behind the bushes trying to figure out our next move.
"Flashlights!" Kie warns.
"It's on strobe!" JJ says before getting his flashlight to switch off.
John B holds his finger to his mouth. "Shh!"
"Okay... Okay, so she has motion sensor lights," Pope states.
"We could, uh... move really slowly, maybe?" JJ offers.
"What?" Sarah asks.
"Yeah that's not how it works," Pope explains.
"Oh, shit. Let's throw a rock at it," John B offers.
"What?" I ask.
"That's a really good idea. Let the axe murderer know that we're here," Kie taunts.
"Throw a rock at it?" Pope questions.
"Okay you guys have a better idea?" John B asks.
"Literally anything but that," Kie counters.
"What about the breaker?" Sarah asks.
"In the circuit box on the porch," I state.
Sarah smiles. "We used to play hide-and-seek here as kids. And if we were brave enough, we'd go all the way up to the porch. I've seen it."
"No, no. You're not going in the house alone," John B protests.
"Watch me," Sarah challenges.
"Crain chops people into pieces," JJ states.
"If you believe that, but she's like what, 85?" Sarah offers.
"Yeah, somethin' like that," JJ agrees.
"She's probably barely still kicking," Sarah reasons.
"Here. I'll go with you," Kie offers.
Sarah nods. "Yeah."
"We'll wait for your signal," I tell them.
"Okay, cool," Sarah says.
"Hey! Be safe," John B tells her.
"We will," Sarah assures.
JJ grabs Pope's face. "Hey. Be safe."
"I'll be so safe." Pope grabs JJ. "I'll be safe for you."
"Can you guys stop? Stop!" John B tells them. "I'm gonna kill you."
"But how would that keep us safe?" Pope taunts.
"They said when Hollis disappeared that..." JJ starts.
"That you should shut the eff up!" Pope tells him.
JJ whistles as I put my hand on his back. We wait for the light to go out and it's only a few minutes before it does.
"They did it. Go time," John B states.
"So, let's do it," I tell him.
John B holds up his fingers. "Three, two..." Pope, JJ, and I get up. "Just... just... just go."
We head into the basement the same way we did last time.
"Holy crap, you know what this is? It just hit me. Ash, look." JJ hands Pope one end of the rope. "This is C.H.U.D. Full C.H.U.D."
"What is he talking about?" John B asks.
"Cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers?" JJ states. John B just looks at him. "Have you guys not seen that film?"
"No," John B replies.
"Can't say I have, no," Pope tells him.
"I wish I could say the same," I remark.
"It's actually a good film," JJ states. I roll my eyes. "It's about cannibals that live in the sewers and under New York City, and it's like..."
"Shut up! Shut up!" John B tells him. "All right. How deep do you think this is, Pope?"
Pope sighs. "I don't know."
We set up the rig and JJ and Pope start to slowly lower John B into the well.
"Hey, boys. I have one request," John B states.
"Yeah?" Pope and JJ ask in unison.
"Don't drop me," John B states.
Like truly good friends Pope and JJ pretend to drop John B.
"Whoa!" JJ says.
"Okay... You're gonna die first, for sure," John B threatens.
"Got ya," JJ tells him.
"All right, just keep payin' it out nice and slow like that," Pope instructs.
"Here we go. Keep goin'," John B says.
JJ and Pope grunt as they hold onto the ropes.
"Keep goin'," John B tells them.
"Wait, hold on one second. I'm gonna get situated," JJ says.
"JJ, you good?" I ask him.
Suddenly JJ slips. "Oh, my..." The ropes start to slip and John B starts to fall.
"Oh, shit! John, shit!" Pope shouts.
"Whoa! What..." John B starts.
Pope grabs a hold of the rope and stops John B from falling.
"Jesus!" JJ shouts.
I grab a hold of the rope helping them out.
"John B!" JJ says.
"I told you not to drop me!" John B shouts.
"You good, man?" I ask.
"What the hell was that?" John B asks.
"Little technical difficulties," Pope tells him.
"Keep going, slow!" John B instructs.
"Okay, we're gonna start paying you out again, all right?" Pope tells him.
"Okay. Okay. All right, keep goin'." John B grunts. "All right. Keep it comin'."
JJ and Pope groan as they keep lowering John B.
"Hey. Hey, we got 15 feet left. Are you getting close to the bottom?" I ask John B.
"I can't tell," John B replies. "Just... just keep goin'."
Pope turns to JJ. "Give me more."
JJ grunts. "Yeah."
"Whoa! Stop!" John B shouts. "I'm hangin' over some sewage-water lookin' shit."
"You want back up?" Pope asks.
"Keep goin', I guess..." John B tells us.
"Nice and slow," JJ states.
"Okay, okay! I'm at bottom," John B tells us.
"How is it down there?" Pope asks.
"It's worse than I thought," John B confesses.
"You find any gold?" JJ asks.
"Uh, nothin' yet," John B replies. JJ and I look at each other unsure if this is going to work. "Wait. I think I felt something with my foot. Here goes nothin'."
I hear the water splashing. I make a face in disgust. I don't even want to think about what John B is swimming in.
"JJ! Hey, pull me up! Pull me up! Come on, man! Go!" John B shouts.
"Pull him up! Come on, pull him up!" Pope shouts.
"Go! Come on! Pull me up! Come on! Pull me up! Pull me up! Come on!" John B shouts.
JJ and Pope start pulling on the rope bringing him up.
I hear bricks tumbling and then John B, "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait! Hey, I think I found something."
"Hey, John B!" JJ says.
"What'd you say?" I ask.
"Just give me a minute. Hold on," John B tells us.
"John B, you okay?" I ask.
"Any dead bodies?" Pope questions.
I give him a look. "You need to cool it with the dead body talk for right now, please."
Suddenly Sarah and Kie come running into the basement. "Guys!"
"Whoa. What's going on?" Pope asks.
"Mrs. Crain! She's up there!" Sarah shouts.
"She tried to kill us with a fire poker," Kie tells us. "We gotta get the fuck out of here."
"We locked her in the parlor, but we gotta go," Sarah warns.
"Okay, code red," JJ states.
"We have to go!" Sarah shouts.
"Let's go. John B! Get back on, man!" JJ shouts.
"JJ! Hold on, man! I'm comin'!" John B tells us.
"Come on!" Sarah yells.
"Three, two, one, pull!" Pope instructs.
We all pull on the rope trying to get John B up. Suddenly we all go flying backwards.
"Where the hell is he?" I ask.
"John B!" JJ shouts.
"Guys. Sh!" Kie tells us.
"Guys, I found the gold!" John B yells.
"What's he saying?" JJ asks.
"JJ! Pope! Kie! Ash!" John B shouts.
"Yo, he's drowning! We gotta pull him up!" Kie says.
"Hey, John B! Get back on the rope. We're gonna pull you back up, okay, buddy?" Pope tells him.
"Come on!" Kie shouts.
"Come on! Pull!" Sarah shouts.
"Come on!" I yell.
"Okay, everybody, help!" JJ says.
"Okay, I'm on!" John B tells us.
"Yeah! Yeah!" Sarah says.
"Let's go," Pope instructs.
We all start pulling on the rope again. This time John B starts to come with it.
"Come on!" Pope shouts.
Suddenly a gunshot goes off.
"Shit!" Kie screams.
"Jesus!" JJ shouts.
"Pope! JJ! What the hell?" John B asks.
"Climb up! Help me! Hang on!" JJ shouts.
Pope groans. "Tie it up now, man!"
"Pope, hide!" I tell him.
JJ grabs me and pushes me to the ground. Mrs. Crain is walking around with a shotgun. Ready to kill us all.
"She can't aim for shit," Kie states.
"She can't see. She's blind," Sarah states.
She shots again and Kie screams, "Shit! Go! Go, Sarah!"
She fires again. Pope, JJ, and I stumble to our feet.
"Go! Go!" I shout.
"I don't care if she is, that's buckshot!" JJ yells.
We rush out of the house and I hear another gun shoot. We rush to the van.
"Can we go now?" JJ asks.
"Get into the car!" Sarah shouts.
"Come on!" I yell.
JJ gets in the driver's seat and I get in the passenger's seat. Everyone else piles in the back.
"Where is he?" Kie asks.
"Come on, start the car. Go!" Pope shouts.
"John B!" Kie shouts.
"Why are we always getting shot at?" Pope asks.
"Come on! John B, run!" Kie yells at him.
"Come on! Come on!" Sarah shouts.
"Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!" Pope yells as John B runs to the van.
"Get in!" Kie shouts.
John B jumps into the back of the van covered in god only knows what.
"Oh, shit!" Kie says.
"Oh, my God!" Pope yells.
"JJ, drive!" Sarah shots.
"Go, JJ!" I yell.
JJ looks back at John B and laughs. "Oh, my God!"
I rest my head back in the seat. "God!"
"Are you okay? Are you shot?" JJ asks.
"No," John B tells him.
"You good?" Kie asks.
"Yeah, yeah," John B assures.
"I think I'd know if I was shot, right?" Kie asks.
I turn around and look at John B. I scrunch my nose in disgust. "What are you covered in?"
"God, you smell like ass," Kie tells him.
"What the hell just happened?" Sarah asks.
"All-time Pogue Hall of Fame, baby," JJ comments.
"Hell, yeah," I shout.
"That bitch is possessed," Kie states.
"That bitch can't aim," Sarah adds.
"How does she move that fast?" Pope asks.
"She's possessed," Kie states.
"I don't get it," Pope says.
"She's blind," Kie explains.
"Like Master Yoda," JJ states.
"It makes no sense, scientifically," Pope states.
"She does yoga. Pilates," Kie offers.
"What is that?" Kie asks.
I see what looks like gold in John B's hand. "Are you kidding?"
"No, you didn't!" Sarah shouts.
"We did it, baby!" John B yells.
"No, you didn't!" Sarah says.
"I did it!" John B shouts.
"Oh, my God!" JJ yells.
We all scream in excitement. We found what people have been looking for, for a hundred years. A bunch of high schoolers found the gold from the wreck of the Merchant. We actually did it. We found buried treasure.
"That's gold!" JJ shouts as he pounds the roof of the van.
"Oh my god!" I shout.
"Wait! Wait!" Kie yells.
"Holy shit!" John B shouts.
"You guys, we're gonna be rich," Kie yells.
"Full Kook!" John B shouts.
We all start chanting, "Full Kook! Full Kook! Full Kook! Full Kook! Full Kook! Full Kook!"