The trial was approaching and my mind was numb from trying to figure out how to save the Landwalker ... How to save Eroh. If father does not accept the plan to kill the Sqek, I'm afraid they'll execute him.
I paced my room, back and forth, rubbing my chin to make sense of ... anything. Why did he help me when I attacked him? Why am I helping him? We were taught for so long to fear each other, yet now we are here helping one another. Our parents are too old in their ways. Uncle Malos was right ... if we align with LandWalkers we could defeat the Sqek. But if they do attack, we can take their power and use it against them.
"I need to read something," I thought. It was the only way to clear my head. Reading has always cleared my head.
I looked at that shelf that filled with books and dust. Too many books. Ones that I'd intended to read when I had time. Unfortunately, I never had the time anymore. I was too busy trying to assassinate young chiefs and then free them ... I shook my head.
My fingertip glided across the books, trying to find something that could shut my mind off. If only for an hour. Thirty minutes. Ten minutes. I would do anything to get it to shut off, and to stop thinking about that boy. I pulled book after book from the shelves. Read a page then tossing it aside. So many interesting books, yet none of them drew my interests. Why? I've always loved to read ... why no is it so hard to pick one up?
After I'd gone through a book on alchemy and charms, two books on herbal medicines of ArkiLa, a book on the lakes, rivers, and oceans of Oqabhar, three books on sword combat, and a book on Skin Armours. I was defeated. A pile of empty books at my back.
I was about to give up when something caught my eye towards that back of the shelf. There was another book hidden behind the rest. What was it doing there? Who hid it? Was is you, sister? Did you hide his book? I slid my hand around until my fingers grabbed the book. I yanked it from the shelf, gazing upon its beauty. The binding was made of worn leather. I opened it to find pages filled with neat handwriting.
"You were never a reader, sister ... you were a writer." I whispered, eyes wide with curiosity. "Maybe we weren't so different after all."
I turned to the first page that caught my eye:
Landwalkers,
I believe that landwalkers exist. Grouper and I were hunting in the woods (without father's consent) when I saw a strange track in the dirt. Grouper assured me it was one of them - one of the walkers - and for some reason I believed him.
Why can't there be Landwalkers? We are ocean dwellers. Is it so hard to believe that something intelligent could live on the soil? I've heard strange things in the woods. There has to be something out there ...
I flipped a few pages.
Grouper,
He and I were in the woods when we discovered their camp ... the LandWalker. There must've been at least twenty of them. I was scared, but I was drawn by the red, raging fire they sat around. I could not understand their words, but I understood the sound of laughter and song.
Are they really monsters?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath through my nostrils. I'm wondering the same thing, sister. Then flipped through the pages.
Elior,
I was in the woods when one of them saw me. I tried to run away, but my legs are not as strong as theirs ... my legs are not even as strong as Aqules. He caught up to me. I thought he was going to kill, but he didn't. He was kind and asked if I was lost.
I was afraid until I gazed into his beautiful, sky-blue eyes. Full of life. Full of curiosity. Full of beauty. I got lost in his eyes, and for a moment felt like I was flying. The fear in my heart lifted, leaving a warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest.
My name is Elior. What's your name?
I gasped. Could hardly find my tongue before I answered ...
The next page read:
Kiss,
Grouper kissed me today, then he confessed his love. I knew he always liked me. He followed me around like a stray seal pup. It was cute when I was young, but now that I'm older, I only see him as a friend. I told him that and he got angry. Grouper has a temper, but he's good at heart. Maybe Aqule can learn to love him-
I read the sentence over twice and gagged, shaking my head. "Um, No ..."
He would make a good husband to any lucky Coralantian. He is the son of Lord after all. Sadly for him, my heart belongs to another. Elior and I have gotten close. We kissed ... its true ... I kissed a LandWalker. And the way I felt with him was much greater than the way I felt with Grouper. I felt connected to him. That our souls bound to each other in that moment.
A tear rolled down my cheek as my throat tightened. "That's beautiful, sister," I smiled.
Love,
Elior confessed that he loved me today. It was the happiest day of my life. He told me that he wanted to runaway together ... that we could runaway together. That we would be happy. That we wouldn't have to live by the rules of our tribes. That we could marry.
I didn't want to leave at first, but when he told me that his father and my father would never agree to our union, I disagreed. That's when he told me. He told me that he was bound to another ... that he was being forced to marry a girl from another tribe. One he didn't love.
I told him I loved him and that I'd go with him ... He told me we would go after he has reached his manhood.
The next entry wrote:
Abandoned,
What has happened to my love? What has happened to my Eilor? I cry myself to sleep, dreaming of him. I can't eat. I can't think. I've lost weight. Where has he gone after so long? He has abandoned me. He said he never would, but he has. Why? Am I not good enough for him ...
The day of his Manhood Hunt has come and gone and he is nowhere to be found ... what has happened to my love? I've confided in Grouper. He seemed ... oddly unsurprised. I was thankful he listened. I even kissed his cheek. I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea.
My lip trembled, and I tried to fight back the tears that rolled down my face. "I had no idea ..." I whispered.
I flipped the page, but it was missing. Page after page was torn. What happened to them? Where did these pages go? I found the last page in the book, the last page that was written. I read:
The Loch,
Today Grouper and I are going to the Loch. I've heard LandWalkers are in the area. It's been three years since last I saw Elior, but maybe today I can find him. Maybe today I can ask him why he left me ... why he abandoned me. Was it because he married the other woman? Or was there another reason? Why? I must know. I can't go on living with this question on my mind.
I pray to the Gods that will not bring my people trouble ...
I closed the book and clutched it. The tears fell, and I sobbed, holding the book close to heart, and squeezing with all my might. It was the most tragic story I'd ever read ... How could this have happened to you, sister? You were the bravest woman I knew ... and your bravery, and your love, was shown in your words.
I looked in the mirror across the room, gazing at My short, golden hair that was a mess. My ocean blue eyes that were glossy from tears. And my pale skin that was now cold. 'Who are you trying to be?" I asked. "Marina or Aqule? You can't be both ... and one name doesn't belong to you ..."
I must tell father ...
I rose to my feet, threw on my robe and headed for the door. I opened it and screamed, looking upon the large boy with cold blue eyes, and shaggy golden, blonde hair.
"Grouper? What are you doing here?"
"I came to find you ..." He said, raising a half-smile. "Were you talking to somebody?"
"Only myself ..." My eyebrows furrowed. "What do you want?
He scratched his head. " I've been thinking about what you said ... And I want to apologize ... I was a coward. I shouldn't have fled when Aqule was killed."
My tongue felt heavy and I couldn't find my voice.
Grouper grabbed my hands and said, "I've loved you since the moment I could. You know that, ever since the day we shared that kiss. Forgive me. I thought it was you who was shot ... not Aqule. And I fled because I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry ..."
My eyebrows raised, and I suddenly understood. I wanted to feel sorry for him, but I only felt hot with anger. "Because you thought it was me, you would've abandoned Aqule?"
He shot up like he'd got stung by a ray. "No," he shook his head. "T-that's not what I mean ..."
"The what?" I yelled. "What do you mean, Grouper? You're a coward! And I want nothing to do with you."
My words penetrated. He took a step back. "What do you mean-"
"I think I made myself clear." I grabbed his robe and shook. "Leave me alone!"
He stood frozen, then woke to life, clenching his jaw and fists. He glared at me. Nose wrinkled. Eyes red. "Your LandWalker can't save you ... You best learn to respect me." He snapped. "Because your heart belongs to me ... nobody else ... only me." He turned on his heel, gave me one last glare, then left without another word.
I trembled gazing down the hall thinking, my LandWalker who needed to be saved ... not I.