After a long night of slumber, I was feeling refreshed and brand new. Last night had been such a new experience. There was so much to unpack and I still had to call Harry at some point to go pick up my car.
I crawled out of bed, making my way to the kitchen to make breakfast, or more like brunch considering the time. I made oatmeal with banana slices and sat at the bar to eat, unable to shake my thoughts from the previous night.
I replayed the night in my mind, focusing on each crazy thing I'd done. The first being my first real conversation with Harry ended with me oversharing and him completely understanding. It was already confusing that I'd open up to someone so quickly, but his response was even more confusing. I wasn't used to people giving a shit about me.
Of course there was Isabel, but I didn't have anyone other than her. My parents loved me, sure, but they didn't care enough about me to listen to anything I'd ever have to say. I was so open with Harry after spending years of my life building up walls and he had been just as vulnerable with me.
I also couldn't believe I had agreed to let him take me home, let alone the fact that I'd drank so much somewhere other than home or Isabel's. Not only did I drink somewhere I wasn't familiar with, but I'd done it in front of people I'd just met. It was so hard for me to understand why I'd done any of the things I'd done last night, but I chalked it up to a psychotic break. It wasn't like me. At all.
I usually had an unshakable craving for control and I didn't feel right if I weren't the one holding the reigns. I didn't go out often because I couldn't control who would be there and I couldn't control what they'd think of me. I didn't drink on the occasion that I did go out so I could leave on my own time and when I was ready.
I lived alone so I didn't have to share my space with anyone else, and I definitely didn't want to rely on anyone else to get things done for me. I loved animals, but I didn't want to own a pet, because it was too much of a hassle to try to take care of an animal when they can be so unpredictable.
It was hard to imagine myself letting go, which is exactly what I'd done last night. I threw every instinct I had out the window. And even though it may have been fun for the night, it wasn't something I could do often. It just wasn't me.
Thinking about my unprecedented behavior was giving me a bit of a stomachache, and I was debating on going ahead and calling Harry so I could at least have my car in my possession.
I washed my bowl and headed into my room, grabbing my phone and searching though my contacts to find Harry's number. The phone dialed as I waited for him to answer. Just as I thought I was about to reach his voicemail, he picked up.
"Hello?" he answered, sounding a bit confused.
"Would've been smart to get my number as well last night, so you'd know who was calling," I responded, chuckling at his confusion.
"Sorry, I took so long to answer," he laughed. "I was playing and thought maybe it was a telemarketer or something, but then I remembered you and your car."
"Am I interrupting? It's okay if you need to call back la-"
"No, it's fine, I was just writing a little something. It was good that you called because I was just starting to get stuck. Maybe our ride will give me a bit of inspiration," he quipped, dissolving my worries.
"Okay, good. I was thinking you could swing by here in maybe thirty minutes? Just to give me time to get ready, last night was a bit wild for me," I chirped nervously, not really wanting to revisit the details of last night.
"Sure thing," he agreed. "I'll see you then."
"See you then," I responded, promptly hanging up the phone.
The conversation had actually gone a lot better than I'd expected. I was honestly scared he would be regretting his decision to help me out, but he still seemed as calm and collected as last night. Still, it felt weird to rely on someone other than Isabel for something like this.
I walked into my closet, picking out some loose mom jeans, and a tight striped shirt that I tucked in. I slipped on a belt and white vans, making my way to the dining room to do some painting while I waited for Harry.
I gazed at the painting, staring at the field with the wildflowers and grass. Even with the sun on the horizon, there was still something missing. I grabbed the yellow paint, adding a bit to my palette. I added some orange, a bit of brown, and a tiny dot of green. I began painting with one of the smallest brushes, making sure to focus on the details.
After a while of painting, I took a few steps back to look at the finished project, proud of my work. In the middle of the green field with blue and purple wildflowers stood a single sunflower, reaching desperately toward the sun.
It stood tall in comparison to the other, smaller flowers and was in the center of the canvas. I wasn't quite sure what possessed me to add it, but it completed the painting. Somehow I was already excited to start another.
The knock at the door startled me so much, I nearly dropped the paint palette on the wooden floor beneath me. I set everything down on the messy table and made my way to the door. I peeked through the peephole, somehow forgetting I was expecting a visitor.
"Sorry, I totally forgot you were coming," I panted, still trying to catch my breath from being scared half to death.
"You called me twenty minutes ago," Harry laughed. "I'm a bit hurt, I didn't realize I was so forgettable," he joked as I grabbed my bag from the hook next to the door.
"As if. I was just lost in thought, that's all." I reassured him, locking the door and turning to meet his gaze. I noticed a familiar curl falling onto his forehead and reminded myself to keep myself under control during this car ride, unlike last night.
We both made our way to his car and climbed in. He let me control the music again, which I appreciated. Isabel would never let me, she hated my music and avoided it at all costs.
Harry rolled down the windows, just like last night. I put on a familiar song that I hadn't listened to in a while, but was written by one of my favorite artists.
[song: Vanessa - Del Water Gap]
I sang along as we drove, noticing Harry glance over at me every once in a while. I didn't point it out, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but I definitely noticed. I was really appreciative of him doing this favor for me, but I was a bit scared that his intentions were much different from mine.
I really didn't want a relationship and I was kind of hoping Isabel had made that obvious before she had introduced me. Harry was really nice and seemed different, but it wouldn't be the first time Isabel introduced me to a 'friend' that just wanted to get in my pants.
I know I wasn't worried about all of the details mine and Harry's relationship last night, but that was a different circumstance. I actually let myself have fun for once, and now I was dealing with the consequences. Maybe I'd given him the wrong idea by letting him bring me home?
"We're here," he interrupted my seemingly never ending thoughts and I realized that we'd already made it back to the bar. I turned to him, noticing his smile. "Sorry to have to bring you back from wherever you were," he added and I laughed.
"Its probably a good thing that you did," I sighed, grabbing my things and opening the car door.
"Hey, I really liked hanging out with you, it was a lot of fun last night. Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" He asked, and I instantly regretted letting him talk me into this entire situation last night. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to have this conversation with him.
"Look, Harry. You're really nice, but I'm not dating right now. I don't have the time or the energy for a relationship and I'm warning you now, I'm not the type of person you want to-"
"Slow down, that wasn't what I was implying," he interrupted, making me realize I'd made a complete fool out of myself. "I'm flattered, but I'm in the same boat as you. I just wanted to hang out with a friend," he laughed. I was relieved that he wasn't trying to go out on a date with me, yet mortified that I'd just rejected him for no reason.
"Oh, well. Um, okay. Yeah it'd be nice to hang out today, I don't have plans. That is, if you still want to after I just made a fool out of myself." We both laughed, but I was still flustered. "What did you have in mind?"
"First, lunch. I'm so hungry right now," he laughed. "And I don't know about the rest. We can just see where the day takes us." He suggested, and I immediately agreed, although I wasn't quite sure why I had.
"Okay, where to for lunch?" I asked. What happened to being in control? If it were up to me, we'd spend lunch creating a detailed itinerary for the rest of the day. Harry made one suggestion, and I was agreeing like I didn't care at all.
"Hmm, it's a surprise. Just follow me and I'll get you there"
I desperately needed to gain control of the situation, but I didn't know how. Before I knew it, I was in my car, following him to some unknown location for the sake of a stupid surprise. It couldn't be that important, it was just lunch and I could've just asked him where we were going.
But I didn't.
••••••
Bit of a shorter chapter, but I have lots of fun things planned for the next chapter :)
I was thinking of maybe making a playlist of all the songs that are played throughout this fic, either at a show or in the car just to encapsulate the music of the story, which is kind of an important theme. So, let me know what you think!
Also, things are about to pick up a little bit, so I'm excited!
Thank you so much for reading!! :)