~•Y/n First Person POV•~
I woke up to my alarm going off. How did I end up in my bed? I groaned as I turned it off. I got out of bed and started to get ready. When I was done putting my uniform on, I did my hair. I noticed my room was messier than usual. Oh, right. I didn't clean it last night. I couldn't bring myself to do it after our fight.
I sighed and grabbed my bag to go to school. I waited for Kageyama in my normal spot, but he never showed up. When I realized he wasn't coming, I brought myself to leave.
I walked up the dreadful hill and into the building. First period was a drag, as always. I was drained and I wasn't in the mindset to pay attention. When the bell finally rang, I got up to go to my next class. Okay, this is where we typically pass each other in the hallway. I didn't see him.
It's not like he's a difficult person to spot. He is six foot and has this angered aura around him as he walks to class. Is he avoiding me? If that's the case, then I really should stop expecting to see him like normal. If he is avoiding me, I understand why. He's pretty stubborn.
The rest of the day dragged on. I began walking home and saw Mina running my way. "Hey!" she chirped.
"Hey," I said back.
"Why do you sound sad?" she asked.
"Just tired," I lied. "Long day."
"I don't have practice today," she tried cheering me up. "Maybe we could do something?"
"I really just want to lay down," I said, feeling guilty.
"Oh, okay. Yeah, whatever you want to do," she smiled.
"I'm sorry," I apologized.
"It's okay! We all have days when we're tired!" she told me. "Is it okay if we stop by the vending machine first? I've been thirsty since the beginning of last period." I nodded and we went to the typical vending machine. You know, the vending machine right outside of the gym. Knowing this, it was no surprise when I saw Kageyama walk up to us. He was walking slow. Very slow. "Oh, look." Mina pointed. "It's your boyfriend~"
I cleared my throat to hold back a cry. "Can we just go?"
She nearly dropped her drink. "Are you two okay? Did you break up?"
"No," I said. "I mean, I don't think so. Argument. So can we just leave?" She nodded.
As we crossed paths, I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I just closed my eyes as we passed each other by. He probably wasn't even looking in my direction anyway. When we began our descend down the school hill, she asked me what happened. I just told her that he found out about the Oikawa thing.
"Are you serious? Did you tell him that you were drunk? That Oikawa practically forced himself onto y-"
"I did. Not the last part, but I told him the truth. I'm not mad at him for it though. I understand why he's mad. That's his biggest rival. Someone he's looked up to, but also hated." I gasped when I realized what I said. "Don't tell him or anyone that I said Tobio looks up to Oikawa. It'd upset him further."
"I won't," she agreed. "That really sucks though. I'm sorry. I wish I could help fix this."
"It's fine." I smiled. "We'll figure it out."
"You always do." She stopped walking.
I stopped walking when I was a few feet ahead of her. She wouldn't budge. "What?" I asked.
She then walked over and gave me a hug. "I wish I could be a better friend," Mina admitted. "You're always helping me out with things. I wish I could do the same for you."
"You are helping me!" I informed her. "You are! Just by listening, you've helped out a lot."
"Still," she said. "I wish I could do more."
I pulled away from her. "Trust me when I say, you've done more than enough," I said.
"If you ever need anything, tell me right away, okay?" she asked. I nodded.
We both went home by ourselves that night. I got no call from Kageyama. We didn't get to talk tonight like we usually do. I miss your voice.
The next day wasn't any better. In fact, I think it might have been worse. This time, he wasn't avoiding me in the halls. We passed each other, but he didn't acknowledge me. He blatantly ignored me. I didn't think my heart could hurt more. Twang . . . Snap . . Twang.
At lunch, I decided to go outside. I didn't want to be in the school anymore. I found and bench and sat there. Soon after, Hinata ended up joining me. We started talking about school and volleyball. It felt normal; it actually started to cheer me up.
"Will you set to me?" begged Hinata.
"Sure!" I agreed. Before we got up, we both saw Kageyama walk passed us. Hinata grimaced as he passed. Absolutely not. "On second thought, Hinata, I think it's better if we have some space," I spoke up.
"What? Why?" He tilted his head.
"I think it'll be good for all of us if I just put some distance between me and the team," I tried explaining. "I'm sorry. I'll see you around."
I stood up and began walking away, but stopped when I heard Hinata mutter, "I don't get it. It's Kageyama's fault that you two are fighting anyway."
I turned around and walked toward him. "Hinata, no. That is completely wrong," I scolded. "Do not ever say that again. Okay? Don't even think it."
"He hurt you! He said bad things to you!" he exclaimed.
"That doesn't matter, Hinata," I shot back. "I messed up. He messed up. We both hit each other where it hurts. We just need some time apart. This is normal. Friends fight and then they make up, but there needs to be some space in between. I can't give Kageyama that space if I'm hanging around his team."
"But you're our friend! This isn't fair!" he reasoned.
"Hinata, listen to me," I tried soothing his outburst. "You're his teammate and friend before you are mine. You all are. That's just how it is. That doesn't mean I don't care about you guys. I don't want to do this. It won't last forever. I just need time." I paused. "This is on me. This is my decision."
"Okay, but when you're done having your time, you come back right away." He teared up.
"I will." I smiled. "Don't be mad at him, please. Remember, I said some pretty mean things too." He nodded. I smiled one last time, then left.
I know what I said hurt Hinata. I feel bad, I truly do, but this is necessary for us all. I meant every word I said. This will be good for them. I hope.
I didn't stop thinking about that interaction until I went home that night. I wish it didn't have to be like this.
The day after that was like the day before it. He continued to walk past me in the halls and he continued to do so while ignoring me. I sat outside on my lunch break again. I was joined by someone again. I wasn't expecting to see the face I did. "Tobio?" I questioned.
"What did you do to Hinata?" he asked.
"What? Nothing," I replied.
"He's starting to mess up a lot and he snapped at me," he said.
"Don't you two always banter?" I asked.
"Yeah, we banter. We don't snap," he said, coldly.
"Well, I didn't do anything," I partially lied. "He's your teammate and friend. Maybe you should be nice to him." He looked away when I said that. "We haven't talked in days. Is that all you have to say?"
"Yeah," he answered.
"Okay." I got up and left.
If I stayed, I probably would have started to cry or scream or both. I walked past Tanaka and Noya. They were about to greet me, but stopped when I rushed past them, not giving them a chance to talk to me. I know I probably should have said something to them, but facing them right now seemed impossible.
Kageyama must've said something to them because they both approached me after school, asking what was wrong. They didn't believe me when I told them I was fine.
"Why are you ignoring us? Because you're arguing with him? It doesn't make sense," Tanaka asked. "Poor Hinata seemed down at practice yesterday."
"Listen, I appreciate you guys approaching me, but don't waste your time. Really. Just like I said to Hinata, I think it's best if I put space between us," I said.
"Better for who? You? Kageyama? We miss you, Y/n!" Noya said.
"It doesn't seem like you want to do this, so why do it?" Tanaka questioned.
"Guys, please try to understand where I'm coming from," I begged.
"We do understand-"
"So just give me the time I'm asking for, please," I requested. "You can't change my mind. Just let me sort some things out.
They exchanged looks. Whenever they did that, I knew they were having a telepathic conversation. In the amount of time I've spent with them, I have never picked up on a word they were thinking. I think that's one of the things that's going to remain between Noya and Tanaka.
They nodded in understanding. They departed after saying our goodbyes.
I just want to do what's best for everyone. I'm trying so hard to fix these problems that I've created by lying for years. I'm starting to think I'm just creating more issues than I'm fixing.