Jin's breathing was caught in his throat, staring at the Doctor with horror. Somehow, through his panic, he found his voice, "W-what are you talking ab-about?"
Doctor Shin took a deep breath, "When you were brought in, we had to check you. We found some...bruises and marks. We then analyzed your scars and thin figure, even more, finding more and more bruises. After some conclusions, we figured out you had been...raped,"
Jin looked away. For the first time in months, he didn't have a lie. Nothing to say to deny it. Contradicting feels blossomed inside him, fear and.....relief. Relief that someone, someone, knew how much he was suffering.
"Jin, can you answer my previous question?" Doctor Shin spoke calmly.
"Do they know?" Jin felt himself deadpan, ignoring the question.
"Who?"
"Anyone...does anyone else know what happened to me..?"
Doctor Shin paused and Jin glanced at him fearfully. The male shook his head, "No, not yet. But someone has to know,"
Jin swallowed, "No, I'll be fine. I've grown used to being a whore,"
Doctor Shin frowned painfully, "Jin...what else did your rapist do?"
Jin bit his lip, before closing his eyes, "H-he told me I w-was lacking. Th-the truth I had refused to acknowledge. I w-was too fat for a visual. I c-can barely dance...and m-my voice? It's a backup vocal. I'm n-no idol, let alone a member of BTS. T-thats what he revealed to me,"
Doctor Shin's frown turned even sadder, but Jin paid no attention as he opened his dull brown eyes.
"As much as his words...and actions, hurt me. He helped me. He introduced me to this diet during my break. He told me that as long I was good, everything would be okay. As long as I did as told, no one hurt me....and he's been right..." The idol spoke blankly, "T-the ra-rape, feels h-horrible. Th-the abuse hurts so much. B-but he still helps me. he only ever hurt me because I lacked. Lacked, and he said I b-belong to him,"
Doctor Shin was quick to write down everything. Frowning deeper he asked, "Jin I need his name, I have to call the poli-"
"NO!!!" Jin screamed, before his voice dropped to a beg, "You can't...he'll hurt them,"
Doctor Shin frowned, "Jin, this isn't good. What he's doing is wrong!"
"But the pain blocks out the voices!!! The pain feels good!! Yes, the sex is something I hate! It's something that makes me feel disgusting, but all the bruises he causes by punches and kicks, Hyung, it feels so right," Jin shook his head, "I deserve it...all of it. And as long as everyone remains safe, who cares?"
Doctor Shin shook his head, "Jin I'm going to go give this information to our specialists so I can get proper diagnostics on you..."
Jin grabbed his wrist. A ferocious gaze was in his eyes, "Do not tell my dongsaengs,"
"Jin-"
"Please," Jin's voice cracked.
Doctor Shin clenched his jaw before sighing and nodding. He wouldn't tell the dongsaengs. Leaving the room, Doctor Shin had a solemn face. Walking out, he gained the attention of the six idols and manager.
Licking his lips, he hung his head.
"What happened?" Sejin asked worriedly.
"I'm going to get some diagnostics done...but...I suspect, Jin has an...eating disorder," Doctor Shin said looking at them. He was well aware of the pain that ran through all seven faces. He knew the history with Jimin. He knew why they looked broken. Sighing, he added, "Anorexia? I'm not completely sure, but it's leaning in that direction,"
"How bad is it?" Jimin choked out.
Doctor Shin bit his lip, the shock of how light the 179cm (5' 10.5) tall idol.
"Hyung- how much does Jin hyung weigh?" Hoseok asked, voice shaking at the expression on the doctor's face.
With a deep sigh, Doctor Shin uttered, "58.5kg(128.9lbs),"
There was a moment of silence.
"T-that's....that's impossible- I know he's light!!! But 58 kilograms?!?!" Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, "That's lighter than Jimin right now!"
Taehyung looked painful, "How long has he been on a diet?"
"One month,"
The idols turned to the Doctor with even more horror.
"What?!" They all hissed.
"He was 70 kilos at the beginning of October. He's been on a diet since then, which consisted of....nothing but lunch," Doctor Shin informed, "He told me- with reluctance, about his diet...Also, those days before he fainted, he told me he didn't eat a thing,"
Namjoon lost his patience again. Turning on his heel the rapper opened Jin's room door, walking in. Shin nodded to the other idols, who raced in after. Stopping Sejin, he grabbed the manager's arm. With a frown, he muttered, "There's something else he doesn't want the team to know...."
And as he spoke, the color slowly drained from the manager's face.
⚞☽☆☾⚟
Namjoon walked in, not caring about the hurt in his expression or the tears of frustration filling his eyes. No, all he cared about was his boyfriend. Walking in, he stormed forward, shocking, Jin who was sitting on the edge of the bed.
Upon seeing his face, the older paled, "W-why do you look like-"
"58 Kilograms?!??!" Namjoon screamed, Jin freezing in place, "In a fucking month, you dropped from 70 kilograms to 58?!?!?"
Jin's eyes widened as he saw the others enter, similar expression of pain. Not able to stop his mouth, his fear spoke for him, "I c-can lose more, N-namjoon..it'll b-be no problem..."
"Lose more!?!??!" Jungkook shrieked, "YOU ARE THE WEIGHT OF A FUCKING TEENAGE GIRL AND YOU WANT TO LOSE MORE?!?!?!?!"
Jin gulped.
angry.
angry.
they're angry.
they're upset.
at you!!!
at me-
Jin flinched back as Jimin stormed forward, scrambling back, he curled up, "I'm sorry! I'll fix it! J-just don't h-hurt me!!!"
A pin-drop silence. Hands grabbed his wrists, pulling his arms away from his face. Jin hung his head, shutting his eyes and waiting for an impact. But instead, he got a sob.
Looking up, he saw Jimin crying, "W-what happened to you?"
Jin didn't answer. He couldn't answer.
"Hurt you? You think we're going to hurt you?" Yoongi whispered painfully.
Jin didn't answer again. Instead, he looked down, "W-why are you upset? With my we-weight?"
"Because you're light as fuck!" Taehyung exclaimed, "Hyung- do you even realize how thin you are? That we can trace every bone? That your full cheeks are gone? That every muscle you built was gone?! Do you even realize what you did to yourself?"
"I lost weight...I lost fat," Jin answered like a robot, "I got thinner,"
"No, No, you didn't!" Hoseok shook his head, "The only thing you did was welcome death! What more were you going to lose? Until you died??? Until you didn't wake up in the morning? Until you were a skeleton?!!??! How much more!??!?!"
Jin looked down. Slowly he pulled his hands away from Jimin. Reaching up, he pinched his cheeks, only to realize there was barely anything to pinch. Gulping, he traced his jawline, then down his neck to where his collar bones border a cavern.
Going down his body, he felt every bump of his ribs as he cascaded down, feeling every curve of his hipbones, before resting his arm on his thigh...his thighs that had a large gap in between.
And he recited Hoseok's words.
Until you died? Until you didn't wake in the morning?
Fear gripped him. Not because of them knowing- but because for the first time in a while, he was reunited with his fear of leaving.
"I-I d-didn't ha-have a choice," Jin choked out, "I didn't real-realize..."
He sucked in a breath. Then, looking at his boyfriend, silently calling for help, "H-he made me...I h-had too,"
And for a second, they didn't understand. But Namjoon understood, by the alarming gaze. A second later, he was holding a shaking Jin, tightly, anger and resentment causing his teeth to grit, "I'll kill him Jinnie. Give me his name, I don't care if I get hurt. I'll kill him!!!!"
Jin whimpered, "B-but then you'd be hurt...and it's all my f-"
"It wouldn't your fault," Namjoon denied strongly, looking right into Jin's eyes, "It would be that motherfucker who hurt you,"
Jin sniffled. The couple only pulled apart when the door slammed open. Everyone looked at their manager who had a fire in his eyes. But the second he saw Jin, they parted for pain, "Kim fucking Seokjin, how fucking long!?!?!"
Jin knitted his eyes brows confused. But he paled once Sejin growled, "Shin told me everything,"
"h-hyung," Jin's voice cracked.
Shaking his head, Sejin walked into the room, his rage diminishing into just pain, "How long Seokjin!!?!?!!"
Jin looked away, beginning to cry.
"Seokjin!! Please!" Sejin begged him.
"End of August..." Jin muttered, barely, turning back with tears streaming down his face, "That was the first,"
And Sejin stared at him, before walking over and giving the idol a tight hug, "Idiot! Seokjin, you should have told someone!!!!!"
The other six exchanged confused glances. Jimin frowned, "What're you talking about manager-nim?"
Sejin pulled back. With a regretful sigh, he said, "Unfourntely, you six are not authorized to know,"
"WHAT?!?!?!!" They all screamed.
"It's okay," Jin shook his head with a fake smile.
"Trust me, it's nothing"
[I'm feeling giddy because of everything going on in the book and of whats to come]