It took me a while to get over the stupefied staring and the loss of words. I was more than aware of the way I must have looked like: the entangled hair, flushed cheeks and a wrinkled shirt. Joakim wasn't looking much better, when he stood behind me.
"I'm Daniel and, um, I guess I'm your roommate", I mumbled.
"That's just great", the golden eyed stranger sighed and turned away, as if to tell me the conversation was over.
That was nothing like I had imagined meeting my new roommate would be. I had a feeling this was going to be difficult or at the very least painfully awkward.
I think Joakim estimated the situation likewise, because he backed away silently. His expression was apologetic when our eyes met right before he shut the door behind him. Then it was just me and my new roommate in the flat.
"Sorry, that won't happen again. I didn't know anyone would be here", I tried to explain, just to break the awkward silence. The golden eyed stranger only snorted at me, still looking away.
"You're not very talkative", I pointed out.
"I wonder why.. I'm taking a shower", the golden eyed stranger snapped at me. He scowled at me angrily before storming to the bathroom.
It wasn't like I had done anything wrong, because this was my room, I was free to kiss whoever I wanted, and I didn't even know I had a roommate whose feelings I should have taken into account. So why was I so nervous?
The golden eyed stranger stayed in the shower for an eternity. I was starting to worry if he had found a secret passage to Narnia or gotten some sort of a seizure, when the bathroom door finally opened.
The golden eyed stranger took his time to open his bag and arranging some clothes and a book on his bed before turning to me. The look in his eyes wasn't angry, but somehow pensive and indifferent.
"I'm Kuisma", he blurted out still gazing at me. Before I had time to say anything, he slumped on his bed, got under a blanket and turned his back to me. For a while I just sat there staring at Kuisma's back abashedly, and when I finally recovered from my daze I got up to turn off the light and went to bed.
Only so that I could stare at the ceiling and listen to music from my ear buds. I wasn't tired anymore, so laying in bed in the dark room only made me frustrated.
My mind had been so occupyed with the new roommate, that I had completely forgot the fact Joakim had kissed me. We had barely gotten to know each other, yet we had nearly ended up in bed. That was quite something.
***
I woke up to a loud slam and it took me a moment before I located the noise to the kitchen. The flat basked in a bright light from the open blinds and the ceiling lights. I pressed my eyes shut and tried to go back to sleep.
Another loud knock, this time from a sideboard door. I glimpsed at the time from my cell phone. 5 am. I wanted to snap at Kuisma, but instead I just rolled over and covered my face with a pillow. Maybe he was still angry and I shouldn't make him any angrier.
It was quiet when I woke up for the next time. 6.20 am. It was still early and I was compeletely drained, but I couldn't fall back asleep. I got up and made a bucketful of coffee instead.
Most of the time I didn't mind waking up early, if I had nowhere to go and I just happened to wake up in the small hours, but waking up way too early while feeling tired.. that's just torture.
I was vexed and hungry. Of course I had only noodles and cereals, and the grocery store wouldn't open for at least an hour. So I had two bowls of cereal and browsed through Instagram and Twitter.
After that, and copious amount of coffee, I was just vexed. And maybe a little bit nauseated as well. It was still too early to go to school. I tried to take a nap, like I do every morning, but I couldn't fall asleep. After that I was so frustrated I had to get out of the flat.
I crammed my feet in shoes, snatched my bag and a flanel shirt from a coat rack before storming out. I nearly ran down the stairs and off the dormitory.
I started walking on the driveway off the school yard. I didn't know the first thing about my surroundings, but somehow my feet knew where to go.
Or maybe they didn't, and I ended up to a small beach by accident. It was just a tiny shred of sand, but the view was incredible. Still water, an islet not far away from the strand, tall hay on one side of the shore and trees on the other.
I sat on the ground, trying not to mind about the fact the sand was chilly and damp. I was a bit cold, so I put on the flanel shirt, and then I just sat there.
It's been said that spending 30 minutes outdoors reduces stress and increases the amount of leukocytes to boost the immune system. I don't know about the white blood cells, but I definitely wasn't getting any less anxious. In fact, I was about to get seriously pissed off.
It didn't matter how angry I had made my new roommate, he didn't have the right to wake me up that early. I was supposed to be the one who had no social skills, but I still knew to get up quietly if I woke up at 5 am. Maybe I just needed to bring it up peaseably? Maybe we could talk things through and get a fresh start. Could it really be as easy as that?
I could tell you something poetic about the rest of my trip to the beach. Like that a beautiful sparrow landed on my palm and sang to me and suddenly all my anxiety was gone. But let's be real, no one would believe that. Instead I just sat there looking at the lake until the draught made me shiver. There was a Mallard, though, but it didn't take away my anxious thoughts and it's quacking was hardly singing.
I couldn't shake the feeling of irritation as I trudged back to the school, but I did feel more collected now that I had a plan. I was going to talk with Kuisma this evening. Even if he didn't feel like talking, I was going to make him.
First thing I did back at school was getting a big cup of coffee from the mess hall. Of course I could have made some in my flat and save money, but I just couldn't be bothered. It turned out the coffee tasted bitter, so I could have saved money and protect my tastebuds, but frankly I was too tired to care.
When I went down to the classroom, I could hear my steps echoing in the deserted basement. It was still almost half an hour before the class would start. So I decided to lie on a couch by the classroom just for a minute.
I placed my coffee on a table next to the couch and shut my eyes. It wasn't exactly a comfortable place to rest, but I was so tired anywhere was good enough. I know what you're thinking: that's a horrible idea, you're going to fall asleep, but that wasn't going —
This time no one rattled anything, on the contrary it was rather quiet, but I knew I wasn't alone even with my eyes shut. I opened them slowly and stared directly at the pale blue eyes that were only inches away from my face.
"So your new roommate kicked you out?" Joakim murmured.
"What? No, of course not."
"So you fought the entire night and you came here to sleep before class?" Joakim continued.
"No, it's not that either", I shook my heard and began getting up from the couch.
Joakim gently pushed me back on the couch. He was sitting on the edge of the couch as he bent over me his hand still on my shoulder.
"What about our kiss? Any regrets about that?" Joakim breathed in my ear. I shook my head again.
This time it was me who kissed him. I cupped his face with my hands and pulled him closer. It was like Joakim's body melted against mine as he answered the kiss eagerly. I let my fingers wander to his neck before I withdrew from the kiss. Then I pushed him away.
"What time is it?"
"Five to nine", Joakim answered as soon as he had gotten his phone from his backpack. I couldn't tell if he was disappointed or irritated.
"Great, so the class is about to start." That was actually the main reason I had pushed him away.
I had nothing against quick approach in relationships, but three days was a whole nother thing. If we were about to continue at that rate, we would be married by the end of the month.. So yeah, things needed to cool down a bit.
We were still painting with tempera paints and this time we made self-portraits. Before that there was a lesson about portrait painting and during thar I finished the rest of my tepid coffee.
By the time of lunch I was already so worn out I barely had energy to chew anything from my plate let alone be social. I was, again, sharing the table with Joakim, Fareed and Viljo.
"Wanna join us this evening? We're watching that serie again", Fareed asked.
"No", I blurted out, "I just want to sleep."
"Cranky much?" Fareed sneered.
"No, just tired", I sighed without looking up from my plate.
"Maybe you should skip the rest of the classes and go get some sleep?"
"Maybe I just need coffee", I said and got up determinedly: "I'm getting coffee."
I heard Fareed saying something like "he's so weird sometimes", but I was already on my way to the counter.
I bought a huge cup of coffee and sipped it on our way back to the classroom. I'm not sure if the coffee made me any less tired, but at least I was well caffeinated.
I can't remember much from the rest of the classes. Well, except that the teacher sent me home early, because I kept dozing off. So I went to my flat and slept. On top of the counterpane still wearing jeans, socks and all.
There was just one tiny problem: when I woke up it was already late and Kuisma was sleeping soundly.
***
*Edit: Ugh, I can't believe I used to write such long chapters.. It's going to take forever to edit these.