take your photograph
you look so good when you laugh
you can take the last drag
xxx
"woah, it's..."
"beautiful? yeah, i know. though you haven't even seen the best part yet."
i open the trunk to get a blanket and the bags full of food and snacks. nick gasps upon seeing what i've brought, as if a picnic is something to be so excited about.
"clay! oh my god!" he exclaims, jumping up and down.
"chill out," i wheeze, "it's just a little midnight snack."
"you didn't have to!"
"but i want to. cause you mean the world to me and i love spending time with you."
he leans forward to peck my cheek as a thank you. i can't help but blush from the appreciation. it's insane how i'm usually so cold and void of emotion, yet nick somehow manages to lure out such a sensitive and passionate side of me.
it's almost like all my love was trapped deep inside, and is only now pouring out. never ever have i wanted to be so intimate with anyone. my heart has never fluttered so wildly from seeing someone else, touching them, holding them.
never ever have i loved another person like this.
cause i love you, nick.
he helps me carry the stuff as i lock the car and lead the way to my special spot. we struggle our way through thick bushes, thorns threatening to poke our legs. i almost drop a bottle of coke into the pits of hell, growing right beside the narrow path we're walking on.
"where does this thing lead to?" nick whines as he ducks under twigs and branches.
"you'll see soon, i promise it's worth it."
when the vegetation starts becoming less and less annoying, the dirt path wider and wider, i know we're getting close. a clearing appears in front of us, streaks of moonlight grazing the flat piece of land. it only goes on for about ten yards before it ends in a steep cliffside, quietly looming in the darkness. if you weren't careful you might've missed it.
in the open valley below lies our hometown, so wonderfully ominous at this hour. long rows of houses, apartments and commercial buildings stretch for miles ahead. cars drive along the otherwise peaceful streets, their bright headlights the only sign of their existence. it's strange how such a shitty place can look so nice from a distance.
"holy shit..."
nick holds onto my hand as we admire the view together.
"you really weren't lying when you said it'd be worth it."
"told you," i chuckle, caressing his knuckles with my thumb.
"how'd you know about this place?"
"my dad took me for a hike up here when i was a kid. it's been my safe space for years now. no one ever really comes here, except for the occasional dog walker."
he nods, and i let go of his hand against my will to unfold the picnic blanket. it falls smoothly onto the dry ground. we place the food in the middle so we can pick and choose what we want. i sigh as i sink down on the thin fabric, motioning for nick to do the same. he doesn't lie down fully like me, instead just sitting with his chin resting on his knees.
"i hate this fucking town so much," he mumbles, "i just wanna get out."
"do it. what's stopping you?"
"oh you know, it's not like i have extremely controlling parents who barely lets me go outside the house or anything."
"if you just book it, how can they stop you?" i point out, grabbing a brownie and taking a bite.
"but i need money, i need a place to stay, i need plans.. there are so many things chaining me to this hellhole. i have friends here, other family members, old classmates. everything i know is here. this is where i grew up, this is where all of us grew up. how are we meant to live anywhere else?"
i turn to him, pulling him down so he can't look at the buildings below us anymore.
"that's a toxic mindset, honey. you can escape, and you will, one day. you're not destined to die here, okay? trust me."
he smiles faintly as i give him a quick kiss.
"sometimes i just wish i wasn't a valley kid, you know? i wish i could be from up here. they have it so much better than us."
"they're probably just as edgy and sad as us. money doesn't equal happiness. their cribs might seem fancy but that doesn't mean they've got it any better," i reassure him.
"maybe you're right," he sighs, mouth full of bread.
"when am i not?"
we try to keep our laughter in.
"i'm sorry but," nick snorts, "you're like the dumbest smart person i know."
"what does that even mean?"
"shut up, i don't know!"
god, he's cute when he laughs.
as he huddles closer to me i notice goosebumps have started to form all over his bare arms. admittedly it is a little chilly out tonight, despite it being late may.
"where's your hoodie?" i ask, scanning the blanket for any sign of it.
"i left it in the car."
automatically i take off my dark green college jacket, handing it over to nick like it's an instinct of mine.
"aww, you're too damn good to me," he giggles, sliding it on.
my breathing hitches when i see him wearing my absolute favorite piece of clothing. i got it from a vintage store a while ago, and it sure as hell wasn't cheap with its leather arms and nice branding. though it is a little oversized on him, he looks so fucking hot.
"you don't need to give it back," i abruptly say, "i-i want you to have it."
"no, it's yours! why?"
cause i love you, dumbass.
"to be completely honest, you look really hot right now. and i also want you to have something that reminds you of me."
"isn't there anything else you can give me, if you have to give me stuff?"
i huff, "well, i'd give you the moon if i could. seems simple enough."
"was there weed in those brownies?" he jokingly wonders.
"i'm not kidding dude!"
i smack his arm and he pokes my side where i'm ticklish. this midnight picnic was supposed to be calm, refreshing and relaxing but those terms don't seem to exist in our stupid little world. he keeps on tickling me now that he's found my weak spot, and i can't do anything but fight back. i try some foul play by kicking at his feet and legs, but he's surprisingly stubborn.
his face is so close to mine that despite this torture he's putting me through, i'm still feeling a strong urge to just connect our lips. the wild expression he's displaying only makes it worse. or better, depending on how you see it. i guess it's better. yeah, it's better. definitely better.
just fucking kiss me already.
"p-please! i can't- i can't breathe!" i exclaim amidst the chaos.
"okay, okay! i'll stop."
his mouth is already slightly open, lips pink and coated with saliva. the disheveled hair is just the cherry on top of the pie at this point. he sits in between my spread legs, blushing furiously as he presses up against me. i smirk at him, knowing exactly what the both of us want.
my fingers soon tangle into his light brown strands, forcefully pulling him down even further. his tongue is wet, exploring every part of my mouth with a burning desire. i've barely got time to breathe, but it's perfect. he's perfect.
we make out for what feels like hours, hours of pure bliss. it's so hot that i just can't get enough. his hands are everywhere, running all over my skin. i bite his bottom lip in a lust-filled haze, and he loudly moans into the kiss. my body tingles upon hearing his desperate sounds. i need to bless him once more tonight. i need to.
his half-lidded eyes look at me so dreamily, like he's completely out of it.
"fuck this, wanna go back to my place?"
xxx
but you look pretty cute
smoking in the living room