I'd almost crashed the truck into parked traffic at a traffic light when Ember said that Chris Woodman — the son of a hunter — saved her life in Lake Oldoy. After she'd dropped that bombshell, we'd spent the rest of the ride back to the ranch in silence, not exchanging any words.
It was late by the time we arrived back at the ranch, so I skipped dinner and headed straight for a shower, all too aware of my sticky, sweaty body.
As hot water poured down on me, Ember's words reverberated around my head: Chris saved my life.
Sounding like some sort of essay, my brain was filled with the questions: who, what, where, when, why, how?
What Ember had told me made zero sense; how, why did Chris Woodman, the son of a fricking hunter, save her life? When did her life even need saving back in Lake Oldoy?
Then it hit me: the fire at the warehouse. What if Chris was there? What if he saw what happened, saw what Ember did?
That has to be it, I convinced myself as I scrunched shampoo into my hair; that has to be it.
Chris probably saw what Ember was doing, and maybe caused some sort of distraction so that the other hunters wouldn't go after her.
Probably, maybe. No, definitely; nothing was certain. Not in my mind, anyhow.
By the time I'd finished my extremely long shower, Ember was already in bed, and appeared to be asleep. Facing away from her in my room, I quickly pulled on a pair of comfy, grey jogging bottoms, and a loose vest, lazily discarding my towel on the floor.
I watched Ember for a minute or two. I watched her deep, steady breathing — ensuring that she was actually asleep, before I collapsed into my uncomfortable armchair.
Instead of sleep beginning to droop my eyelids, worry was beginning to gnaw at my insides. Though not about Ember, or Chris. No; this worry was about Abi and Storm and Zack. Abi and Storm had been gone for a couple of weeks now, and we still hadn't heard anything from them: no calls, no texts, no emails, no letters, no postcards, no nightmarish messages from Storm transmitted to us via sleep.
I know Ember told me that I should give myself a break, cut myself some slack or whatever, but the lack of knowledge about where Abi, Storm and Zack were or weren't was irritating me.
When sleep finally reached me, it was a harsh and brutal sleep, filled to the brim with a twisted mix of my darkest dreads, deepest desires, and deadliest delusions.
Tears were streaming freely down my face (shut up) and I had no idea why — until I looked down and saw Ember's broken body lying in my arms like a limp rag doll. Her eyes shut, a trickle of blood coming down her face from the side of her temple... And she was cold, so, so cold. Too cold — almost like she was dea—
No, I can't think like that.
"Ember?" I tried to shake her awake. "Ember, wake up!"
Desperation and anxiety filled me as she lay oblivious to my efforts. Those beautiful blue eyes remained shut.
Rapidly, I looked around me, to see if anyone was around. But it was dark, and it felt like I was in the middle of a forest.
"Somebody, please! Help me!" I called out into the woods, not thinking straight. I stood up with Ember securely in my arms. "Please wake up," I murmured to her, before pressing a gentle kiss on her cheek.
I need her to wake up.
"Theo..." My name echoed eerily through the trees. "Theo...Theo..."
"Who's there?" My guard instantly flew up, before I remembered I needed to help Ember. "I need help!"
"Didn't you say you'd rather burn with her than die alone?" The voice mocked, relaying my own words back to me.
"Not like this." I wept (shut up) a little more, glancing down at a lifeless Ember... A dying Ember... "Never... never like this."
"What's it going to be then, Theo?" The voice questioned. "Will you die with her or die alone?"
"I don't want her to die," I whispered, not even answering the question. I realised as I spoke, "I'd rather I die and she live..."
"Fine," the voice snapped.
In an instant, Ember's body caught fire in my arms and I was forced to gently drop her to the ground before my arms started to blister from the flames. She kept on burning and there was nothing I could do, until her body fully disintegrated into a pile of smouldering ash and smoke.
"No...!" I tried to grasp at the smoke and ash, but it fell through my fingers, "Wh-what happened?"
The voice laughed mercilessly. "You chose to die alone."
And then I was falling into the darkness, the voice's laughter still ringing in my ears, tears dried onto my cheeks.
Falling...
Falling...
Falling...
It felt as if there were no end to the pit of desperation into which I was falling.
I can't imagine a world without Ember, the thought ricocheted around my head, not even realising that this was just a dream, just a nightmare. Just a night terror.
I have to wake up, I knew the fact, but I was still falling, cartwheeling through dark, empty space.
I could've been in a black hole for all I knew; after all, there was no time, no light, and no particles... Nothing apart from me falling.
But it didn't even feel like I was falling to my death, or into anything at all. I could've been falling upwards, as opposed to downwards — that's how disorientated and confused I was.
What felt like an eternity later, my body hit the floor... Or some floor at least, and I was able to get to my feet — I wasn't dead yet.
I looked around me, and suddenly wherever I was, was flooded with light — bright and brilliant sunlight. The sight of it caused me to shield my eyes. As the dark had been so dark, the light was almost too much.
What the hell is this?
Jade was suddenly by my side, standing next to me, looking out across the mountains — hang on; where did the mountains come from?
"So, you chose to die alone," she stated blankly.
"I chose to die to save Ember," I stated back, not looking at her, knowing somewhere deep down that she wasn't actually Jade, merely some figment of my twisted imagination.
The girl scoffed incredulously, "You know she can resurrect herself, right?"
"No, I didn't." I frowned, half believing the words coming out of Jade's mouth; isn't part of the Phoenix legend the fact that they can regenerate, be born again — rise from the ashes?
Jade shrugged, before also disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"Great. Now I'm on my own again." I rolled my eyes sarcastically.
"Not quite alone," a guy's voice said, and stepped out in front of me, holding something out in front of him.
What now?
"Chris?" I realised as my eyes focused on him. Why is Chris Woodman here?
"I'm here to hunt you, Theo," he responded to my unaired question.
My eyes focused in more, as it had become misty, to see that the thing he was carrying in front of him was a crossbow — with an arrow, coated in wolfsbane and forged from silver, ready to fire, aimed at my heart.
I couldn't even blink before the arrow hit me in my chest, sending me thudding heavily to the ground.
"What... did... I ever do — to... you?" I spluttered out, blood pouring out of my mouth and out of my chest, where the arrowhead was buried either near my heart or directly in it.
"Your Alpha." Chris spat out as he sunk down to his knees behind me. "Your Alpha did it."
He viciously grabbed hold of the arrow in my chest and pushed it further down in my body, causing me to cry out in agony.
"Your Alpha killed one of us." Chris narrowed his eyes at me.
"You've killed... hundreds... of... us!" I somehow found the strength to speak.
"That's because it's our job..." Chris was fading away now, or maybe I was the one fading away — it was hard to tell.
What if I'm dying?
"It's our job to kill you, and protect people..." Chris sounded far away now, "Whereas your kind... You have no purpose. None at all. You're worthless, Theo Aquila... Theo..." Chris then spoke my real surname with a bitter laugh. "I bet you don't even know the truth about your parents."
Everything faded into a bright white light, leaving me alone again.
I woke up gasping, hands clawing desperately at my chest to pull the arrow out.
With a lurch, I realised that I was in my room, in my armchair, with Ember lying peacefully asleep in my bed.
Her heartbeat sounded strong and steady.
I swallowed several lungsful of air as I tried to calm myself the hell down; none of my night terrors had ever been like that before.
Still paranoid about the arrow that had been lodged in my torso, I tore my vest off, in order to inspect where the arrow had been in my night terror. There was no arrow there, but just over my heart, was a tiny little nick that was healing rapidly — a minuscule incision, in the shape of an arrowhead.
I leapt to my feet and rushed to the window and listened. But there was nobody around for miles. In the ranch, I could hear Ryder snoring softly, meaning that Jason was back and downstairs in the cellar with Jade.
And Ember's fine.
Thank God; Ember's fine.
I don't know what I'd have done if she wasn't... if she was actually dea—. But it was just a dream.
Right?
Breathing heavily, I lowered myself back into my armchair. There was no way on earth I was going back to sleep after that.
A glance at the clock told me that I'd been asleep for around four and a half hours — yet it'd felt like much, much longer. Time does seem to drag when you're struggling to survive a torturous night of terror.
Part of me was beginning to wish the night terror hadn't ended; Chris was about to say something about what happened to my parents... He'd called it the 'truth'.
My parents died in an ordinary, yet disastrous, house fire, almost a decade ago. There was nothing supernatural about it. Sometimes, I wished that I'd died along with my parents in that fire, instead of stumbling blindly through my life.
You never would've met Ember, though, a voice reminded me in my head, or Jason and your pack.
I squeezed my eyes shut; I didn't know how to think about my parents anymore.
(What if they were supernatural?)
I almost didn't dare think about it, preferring to remember my parents the way I knew them.
With everything that had been going on, I rarely had time to think about my parents... Anyway, no point in dwelling on the past, right? I had enough going on in the present.
Suddenly, Ember mumbled something, startling me out of my thoughts. I stood up and walked slowly towards the bed, where she was sleeping, looking gorgeous as ever.
"No, no, no!" She began shaking her head and rolling from side to side.
"Ember!" I whisper-shouted, approaching her carefully.
I guess I'm not the only one having night terrors...
"Ember! Wake up!" I insisted as she just got more and more tangled in the bedsheets.
Screw this, I grabbed her wrists and held them down against the bed.
Then her legs started kicking the air, and almost me and the night terror clearly continued. With a sigh, I climbed on top of her, and sat on her legs, keeping a tight hold of her wrists, until she stopped wriggling.
She sighed in her sleep, and I let go of her wrists and rolled off her.
Oh God. I noticed the growing bulge in my jogger bottoms. All from being on top of her like that? She was asleep for God's sake!
I rubbed my face with my hands and stood up off the bed, walking around my room and thinking entirely mundane and non-sexual thoughts until my body had calmed down.
"Theo..." Ember mumbled my name, and my head snapped to her quickly.
She was still asleep, but I knelt down beside her head.
"Theo... I need you... I want you..." She spoke breathlessly.
Is she dreaming about me...like that? Is Ember having a sexual dream about me right now?
A pleasureful shudder ran through my body. And damn, I was so tempted to wake her up with a kiss on those perfect lips of hers.
When Ember whispered the two words: "Touch me...", I almost lost it entirely; I wanted her so freaking bad.
"You're asleep and you have no idea what you're doing to me," I muttered quietly, before getting up and walking to the bathroom — for no reason other than to put some distance between me and Ember.
I walked back about five minutes later, hoping that her dream would be over.
"Theo?" She was sat up in bed, awake, now.
"Hey." I forced back a smile; in her sleep, she'd pulled off her hoodie and was now wearing nothing but a vest on her top half.
She smiled at me sleepily, but in a confused way. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Yep, just fine," I responded curtly, abruptly. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because it's..." She glanced at the time. "Two o'clock in the morning and you're awake?"
"You're awake as well." I pointed out. "And besides, I'm gonna put my back out sleeping in that armchair."
"You can... sleep in the bed if you want." Ember brushed some loose hair out of her face. "Sleep next to me..."
"Are you sure?" I checked, concerned she might wake up the next morning and scream at me for being in the bed with her.
"Yep." She nodded, patting the space beside her. "I mean, it is a double bed, so there's more than enough room."
"Thanks." I collapsed wearily onto the bed beside her. "Why are you awake anyway?"
"I had a dream." She looked across at me. "Well, two actually — a nightmare, and then a really, insanely good dream." Her words trailed off into a sweet, little sigh at the end.
"What was the 'really, insanely good dream' about?" I raised an eyebrow, as I pulled the covers over my legs.
"Oh!" She blushed and bit her lip in an oh-so-sexy way. "Nothing worth mentioning."
I frowned at her, silently offended. "How can you have a great dream that's not worth mentioning?"
"Well... it's private." She fidgeted with her nails.
"Ember," I told her very directly, "We're in the same bed, and we're about to sleep next to each other. And considering everything we've been through and done together, you should tell me."
She narrowed her eyes at me, "Whatever," before wriggling a little, lying down and trying to get comfortable.
Both of us were lying next to each other staring up at the ceiling for a good five minutes before either of us spoke. And when we did speak, we both did it at the same time.
"Do you—?"
"Can you—?"
I laughed lightly. "You go for it."
"Okay... Can you put a t-shirt on or something?" She worried at her lip and avoided looking at me.
"Why?" I questioned.
"Because you're making me think about the dream I just had." She explained, finally glancing across at me — her eyes raking over my torso and sending hot shivers down my spine.
Damn it.
"Care to explain why I was shirtless in your dream?" I mocked.
"Well..." The blush returned to her cheeks, "It was, you know, one of those dreams where—"
Arching an eyebrow, I told her, "Just spit it out already."
"Fine." She snipped back at me and then said all in one breath with her eyes closed, "I-may-or-may-not-have-had-a-slightly-erotic-dream-about-you-touching-me-and-kissing-me-and-wanting-me."
I blinked; I didn't expect her to say it so plainly and all laid out like that.
What the hell am I supposed to do now? I mean, I know sure as hell what I want to do — I want to grab her and kiss her like there's no tomorrow — but I don't want to screw things up between us even more than I already have.
Unanticipatedly, Ember got up out of bed and walked toward the window.
"You okay?" I asked hesitantly.
"Yeah." She laughed exasperatedly. "I just can't believe I admitted all that to you."
"Did you... have dreams like that whilst you were on Svalbard?" The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.
"Since I'm being strangely and overly honest, yes, I did." She declared boldly, and I was liking this side of Ember, the side that I've only seen a handful of times.
"And, what did you do about them when you were all alone?" I inquired, voice seductive as I stepped out of bed and made my way over to her. I was behind her now, and I ran my fingertips lightly over the backs of her arms, causing her to tremble slightly. "What did you do, Ember?" I repeated with my lips now against her ear.
"I touched myself." She turned to me, looking deep into my eyes.
"And what do you want me to do about it?" My gaze flicked over her body, she was wearing a thin vest and a pair of pyjama shorts — aka not much, so I could see the outline of her body extremely clearly.
"The thing is, I touched myself because I wanted you to touch me." She bit her lip again. "But now you're here."
I stepped closer to her, and placed my hands on either side of her head, "Do you want me to touch you?"
"I don't know anymore," she whispered but didn't pull away from me.
"You don't have to be afraid... not of me, at least," I told her softly, gently, sensing anxiety rising within her. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do."
Taking a little risk, I planted a kiss on her forehead, before backing a couple of steps away from her. I also grabbed my discarded vest and began pulling it over my head.
"Wait!" Ember blurted out abruptly, placing an unnervingly cool hand on my abs.
I froze, top awkwardly resting on my shoulders and the upper part of my chest — just above where Chris Woodman's arrow had been.
Hesitantly, Ember placed her other hand on my torso, filling me with heat, despite her hands being so cold. "Talk about something." Her eyes flicked up to mine. "Anything."
A question tumbled out, prior to me even realising I'd wanted to ask it: "Why were you outside on the night of the full moon?"
I was half expecting her to back away from me, but she didn't.
"I honestly don't know." Ember sighed heavily, though didn't back away from me as I'd expected her to. "Something about the night just called to me... I didn't for one second think that you lot would be anywhere near the ranch."
"Why did you ask me to talk?" I raised an eyebrow at her; her hands still resting on me.
"To-try-and-distract-myself-and-conceal-how-I'm-feeling-about-you-right-now." She spluttered out in one breath, for the second time in the space of about five minutes.
"And how are you feeling, Ember?" I teased but in a kind way.
"Hot," she admitted, and it felt like her hands warmed up a bit as she spoke.
"You want me to open the window?" A smirk found my face, knowing all too well that opening a window wasn't going to fix the overheated feeling she was experiencing.
"No." She shook her head, "I'm hot in a... sexual way."
My mouth suddenly went dry and I was forced to swallow.
Damn it, what am I supposed to do now?
Idiotically, I hesitated for a couple of minutes, neither of us doing anything, or saying anything for that matter.
Then Ember dipped her head and stepped away from me, palms leaving my skin; I'd faltered for too long.
"It doesn't matter, don't worry about it. We should just go to bed," she said quietly and climbed back into bed.
What the hell is wrong with me? I wondered as I climbed in next to her — I want her, badly, but I'm too afraid to act on how I feel. Too afraid that I'll hurt her...
Oh, Theo Aquila. You're such a screw-up.
No wonder she doesn't want you anymore, dipshit.