hour one
i walk back into the common room, ready for some much needed rest and relaxation before tonight. unfortunately, i'm not given that opportunity. there he is, standing behind the couch, pacing back and forth. relief washes over me at the sight of him, thank god he's okay. he must hear me come in, because he stops, his head turning straight to me
"there you are!" i smile, starting to walk toward him, "where have you been-"
"where have you been?"
"um.. in class?" i laugh, finally reaching him, "i was worried sick-"
"what was it you said about meeting cedric and harry in the library?" he cuts me off, crossing his arms and raising his brow
"i don't.. remember?" i say slowly, my previous relief starting to turn back to worry
"let me refresh your memory then" he purses his lips, sitting down onto the back of the couch, "you said it was a 'one time' thing. and do you remember what i said?"
"you said that was bull-"
"bullshit, yeah" he nods, not letting me finish, "well, it looks like i was right"
"what do you mean-"
"'i just can't help but feel like i'm leading him on' those were your words i believe"
i pause, quickly realizing what he's talking about. i must go pale as my face drops, feeling a pit form deep in my stomach, "how did you....?"
"pansy's a light sleeper" he smirks slightly, tilting his head.
the memory rushes back to me: sitting on the bed with daphne, talking about me meeting with cedric late at night to study. him and i sneaking down into the kitchen, or running past filch almost every day for two weeks. i see pansy, sleeping soundly in her bed. or so i had thought.
"draco-"
"what else was it she told me?" he stands up. i know the question is rhetorical, he's just drawing this all out for fun. some sick, twisted version of fun, "right right. she said diggory had a nice little chat to you about me"
"what did she-"
"you would think that girl has a perfect memory. relayed the conversation real nicely" he leans back against the wall, glaring at me from across the room, "my memory's not as good, but i still remember the gist" he clears his throat, tilting his head again, "he broke up with cho because he was 'meant for someone else'" he pouts his lip, than smirks slightly, "how poetic. sounds like something a friend would say"
"draco-" i step forward slightly but he holds his arm out in front of him, shaking his head
"oh, but there's more, isn't there?" he raises his eyebrows, "i already know it but if you'd be so inclined i would love if you could share with the class" he gestures around the empty room. i thank god we're the only ones here
"i don't know what-"
"don't lie to me y/n" he shouts slightly, but then takes a deep breath, leans back against the wall, and regains his composure, "you've done enough of that already"
i hesitate, taking a minute to consider my options. with a deep breath, i meet his eyes. even with his stone cold glare, i can recognize the hurt beneath his eyes; no matter how hard he tries to hide it. i know i have to tell him the truth, all of it.
i clear my throat.
"well... it was something along the lines of 'all you do is complain about him and i hate it' um.. something about you treating me like shit? he doesn't understand why i keep going back to you. and then-"
"and then he said i don't deserve you. i think we all know who he thinks does-"
"draco-"
"this man practically professed his love to you and you what? thought it wasn't an important thing to mention?"
"i just didn't want-"
"what? what didn't you want?" he straightens up off the wall, taking a few steps toward me
"i just didn't want you to be upset... that i was still going to hang out with him-"
"so you knew it was something that would upset me? and you did it anyways?" he's now right in front of me, standing over me. with every word, his voice raises slightly
"i- i guess"
"i s'pose is doesn't matter if you upset me because you apparently complain about me so much-" he rolls his eyes, smiling sarcastically and turning away from me, cursing under his breath.
"it's just venting draco i don't really-"
"yeah but you vent to him" he turns back to me, the smug smile no longer on his face. he looks defeated, "of all people you vent to him. you tell him how much you can't stand me. you tell the guy who tried to make out with you in a bathroom that i'm such a piece of shit and he tries to convince you to leave me-"
"there wouldn't be anything to complain about if you would just let me tell people already! it's not like i haven't expressed to you over the past what... three months? that maybe we ought to admit we're in a relationship-"
"oh i'll gladly tell him now. maybe then he'll finally step off-"
"hey, don't do this just to spite cedric"
"what? why not? we can go tell him right now if you'd like-" he starts to walk past me but i grab his arm, pulling him back to face me
"if you're only telling people to prove a point i don't want it" i stare at him seriously, no longer yelling. i speak calmly, needing him to know that this is important, "i want you to want to be with me, you know for more than just... making out in the astronomy tower. i want you to want our friends to know about us- not so that you can stake your claim or some shit- but because the idea of keeping me a secret hurts. that's how i feel, at least. i don't like people not knowing i fancy you. because i really, really do. it's not something i feel like i have to hide. and if i'm just some pawn for you to feel like you've beaten cedric to getting me- something to affirm your clearly fragile masculinity... well then i don't want any part of it"
i let go of his arm, taking a deep breath after rattling that all out. he stares at me blankly, not seeming to know what to say. he looks down for a second, scrunching his face in thought, before looking back up at me.
"are you still going to hang out with him?" he says. i sigh, that's really all he has to say back?
"yes" i say, shrugging my shoulders, "yes, yes i will" cedric has been there with me through all of this. through every up and down all this year, he's always been by my side. that's not something you just let go of.
draco licks his lips, pondering his words again before speaking, "you stop hanging out with him and then i'll tell everyone, hell- i'll find rita skeeter myself and she can draw up a whole article-"
"last night you said we would-"
"yeah well last night i didn't know you've been meeting up constantly with the guy trying to break us apart" he scowls, glaring down at me
"you're being horribly unreasonable-"
"listen, i'm not going to make a fool of myself by going public and then have you turn around and move onto him-"
"that's what this is about? you're stupid reputation-"
"my reputation is not stupid-"
"oh, i'd beg to differ-"
"my reputation-"
"my god would you shut-"
"-has been well crafted-"
"well crafted?" i laugh, "could you sound like anymore of a pompous-"
"if you call me an ass one more-"
"asshole!" i shout, "asshole! asshole-!"
"will you be quiet? there are people up-"
"what? it's not like it's a secret! unlike our relationship you have no trouble hiding that you're a-"
"be quiet-!"
"no" i say coldly. i seem to snap out of my angry trance, realizing that as we were yelling we were drawn together. our eyes meet, both of us breathing heavily. i take a step back, clearing my throat. draco takes a deep breath, placing his hands on his hips.
"it shouldn't be that hard of question, y/n" he shrugs, "me or him?"
"don't make me choose between you and cedric, that's completely ridiculous-"
"why? would you choose him?"
"with the way you've been acting recently?" i stare up at him, seeing the hatred growing behind his eyes. i harden my face, not thinking through what i say next, "yeah, maybe i would choose cedric"
i turn on my heels quickly, not even bothering to grab my bag up from the couch before walking quickly out of the common room.
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hour two
i slide down against the wall in an empty hallway, tucking my knees against my chest and leaning my head down. everything is shit. utter, complete, absolute shit.
maybe i would choose cedric
i replay the fight in my head, thinking of everywhere i could have said something better, could have tried harder-
no. i can't blame myself. i've been doing everything in my power-
but have i? i haven't been cutting draco much slack recently-
he doesn't deserve it. i remind myself.
maybe i would choose cedric
i blink my eyes, keeping back a single tear. shouldn't i be more upset? sure, we've had fights before, plenty, but this one...
this one was different
neither of us would budge. the only way to fix it with draco is to... stop seeing cedric?
but i wouldn't do that. ever.
but that means not seeing draco, and i don't want that either.
what scares me more? not having cedric, or not having draco?
maybe i would choose cedric
a girl walks by, a hufflepuff. i rest my chin up on my knees, giving her a small smile and a wave. the ring of the clock tower tells me fourth period has just ended. only 3 more hours until the task
get it together, i think to myself. boy was today not the day to have a relationship ending fight-
relationship ending? i backtrack in my thoughts. is that what this was? is this really... over?
maybe i would choose cedric
my thoughts keep coming back to that one sentence
those five, simple words. yet they hold so much meaning.
maybe i would choose cedric
... would i?
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next chapter will b up tomorrow. literally in love w this part of the story tbh
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p.s. thank u for 124k reads and 7k comments!