Eighteen years. That's how long I'd been hidden from the world, stored in my own private wing in the IIA Headquarters. My entire existence had to be kept silent. The Director called me the Agency's secret weapon. In case of emergency, I could be used as a 'hail mary' to save the day. Secrecy had and always would be of the utmost importance.
Thus, I was cooped up on the top level of the IIA headquarters, the one area that nobody was allowed to enter, not even Agent X herself. It was reserved for the U.L, a few trustworthy guards, two scientists, and me.
I had everything I needed in my corner of the agency. Behind a perpetually locked door, there was a spacious living room that opened into a kitchen on the north side. Past the kitchen was a balcony enclosed by a one-way window, enabling me to look out over Washington D.C. Three doors were on the left side of the room. One led to my bedroom, the other a training area. The final door led to the laboratory, the place I was created. Two scientists, Professor Allen Endals and Jess Nyryn, had conducted a series of top secret experiments that ultimately led to my birth. For security reasons, they were responsible for taking care of me, as well as performing monthly checkups on me and the real Xara.
And that's it. That's all I needed. For eighteen years, I spent my life in a grand total of five rooms.
It had been a normal morning for me on the twentieth day of June. I had eaten a typical breakfast of sweet potato, chicken, kale, and avocado, a concoction that the real Xara often ate in order to maintain her physique. The U.L. tried their best to ensure that I ate the same foods as my predecessor. They said that it would help me be more like her. I always found it kind of funny. After all, I was already a clone. How much closer to the real Xara could they get? And yet, it was like they wanted me to physically become Xara.
So that's who I was. I was Xara, Agent X.2. That's what they called me, at least. I figured out their game years ago from a psychology book. Calling me 'Xara' was a way to convince me that I really was the star agent, which would ensure that I behaved, thought, and lived like her.
Naturally, since I wasn't on active duty, I had a lot more time on my hands. Which meant that I had time to train, study, and learn more than the original Agent X ever did.
After breakfast at six in the morning, I would spend about two hours watching old news reels or listening to recordings. From eight to ten in the morning, I went through a rigorous workout with Professor Nyryn. After that, I was instructed to listen to more recordings in order to get my heartrate down. Once I had eaten lunch, I usually spent the afternoon reading informational books, studying maps and diagrams, or learning about previous IIA missions.
Essentially, I was being disciplined to be the smartest and strongest person that ever existed. The directors believed that I could be even greater than the current Agent X. I had all the odds in my favor. I was younger and had more time to learn. The only advantage that the real Xara had over me was experience in spy work.
But even her experience could be transferred to me. With groundbreaking scientific technology created in our laboratories, the agency could upload files of Xara's brain into my own. That way, everything that Xara knew and remembered could be preserved, handed down so to speak. I knew everything that she knew, could recall any experience she'd had. And yet, the two of us would never be identical.
This copy of Agent X's memories and thoughts was uploaded into my brain every month, right after the real Xara was required to have health inspections with Professor Nyryn. In this checkup, the professor would discreetly hook up Xara's brain to a computer and download a copy of her brain. Then, they would transfer all of the data to me. Over the years, I had come to recognize people outside of my isolated world. Through her memories, I had not only gotten to know other people, I came to understand what Xara thought of those people. I understood how she processed information and reacted. I was being conditioned to think like my predecessor.
I still didn't understand how it worked. I had read books over most subjects, but I never asked to read the Professors' notes on cloning and brain-information transfers. I doubted that the agency wanted anyone to know about their scientific discoveries, including me. Secrecy was always the better option. Only the U.L. and the two Professors involved in the project could know.
It was ten o'clock in the morning when I finished my exercise routine in my personal gym. I exited to the main sitting area, taking a large sip of my collagen protein powder shake in the process. Professor Nyryn said that it was vital to repair my muscles and restore my energy after a two hour workout session, so she always made me drink a large protein shake after the strenuous exercises. Panting, I headed straight for the sitting area on the right side of the living room, which consisted of two black-leather chairs and a sofa. I plopped down on the couch, sinking into the plush cushions. Ah, that's better. I could feel the tension melting away. That was one benefit to working out your whole life, the exercise and recovery gets easier with time.
I took another swig of my drink before flipping on the large screen TV in front of me. It popped up with the next video I was assigned to watch—a documentary on the Sonderbund War in 1845. I was just about to press play when I heard the clicking of bolts on the door behind me. My head whipped around to see Director Rokmond enter the room. He quickly shut and relocked the door.
"Oh, hello Director Rokmond," I said. The Director typically visited me one to two times per week, though sometimes the other members of the U.L. would come too.
"Hello, Xara. How have you been doing?" the Director greeted.
"I've been doing well."
"That's good." The Director crossed over to the sitting area and reclined in the leather chair to my left. "How was training this morning?"
"Tiring, but good."
The Director nodded. "As it should be." He paused for a moment. My head tilted to one side, trying to read him. I could tell he was getting ready to tell me something important. What it was... well, I'd know in a few moments.
"I'm just going to cut to the chase," the Director said. "You've been alive for eighteen years. You've learned everything there is to know about the world, from politics to culture to spy work. The only thing you haven't done is see it all with your own eyes. The majority of your memories are not your own. All you know of are Agent X's experiences. Thus, the U.L. has officially decided to send you on a mission."
My eyes popped open. I was not at all expecting to hear that. "Y-y-you've what?"
"We have decided to send you on a mission," the Director repeated, his voice kind but firm. This was not up to negotiation or discussion. Whatever the U.L. decided was final.
"But why?" I blurted out. "Why now?"
"You will discover during your mission briefing, which is right now," the Director said. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a DVD, which he proceeded to place inside of the TV. The screen lit up with the words 'Mission WLM500.'
"On July 1, there will be a World Leaders Convention, located in Brussels, Belgium. Representatives from thirty countries have been invited by the US and the UK to convene there. At this convention, they plan to share scientific discoveries and advances with each other. We are unaware of the exact details of the advances that have been discovered, however, we can be sure that we do not want what is discussed falling into the wrong hands.
"Due to interior intelligence, we have discovered that WAOIC plans to be at that meeting in order to collect valuable information that they can sell to countries that weren't invited. They plan to replace one of the ambassadors at the convention with their own agent. Our job is to determine who the enemy agent is before the convention begins.
"As of today, there are only ten days before the convention. We only have time for some last minute training and strategy building before we have to fly you to Brussels. The representatives will be flying in at various times prior to the convention. Your job is to observe them and determine who the imposter is."
The Director paused in his briefing. I took the opportunity to ask the one question that plagued my mind.
"Why me?"
"You have the necessary skills and knowledge that the job requires."
"But why not give this mission to the real Xara?" I pressed. "Why would you give such a vital task to a person who has never done spy work before?"
Rokmond sighed. He had probably seen this question coming, but he was in no hurry to answer it. "Your predecessor, Agent 24, was assigned to Mission WLM500."
"Then why do you need..." The Director held up his hand, stopping me mid sentence.
"Yesterday, Agent 24 was captured by WAOIC. There is not enough time to get her out of WAOIC's prison in order for her to complete the mission. You're the only person who can mirror the way she thinks. Besides, Agent X had good rapport with every single representative at that meeting. Seeing you there as a part of the 'security' will put the representatives at ease and will make them less suspicious if you ask questions."
I sat quietly, playing back his words in my mind. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Xara, the famous Agent X, has been... captured. How is it possible?
And how can I possibly be good enough to replace her?
I always dreamed of going out into the real world and being a secret agent. At night, I would rewatch Xara's memories in my head, pretending that it was me living on the edge, instead of her. At times, I could almost feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I could almost feel like I was Xara. But I knew that the feeling was merely a simulation. It wasn't real. My memories weren't my own. Having the chance to go into the real world was all I ever wanted.
But at the same time, this mission was of the utmost importance. If I failed, I doubted that I could ever forgive myself.
I doubted that the real Xara would ever forgive me.
"Director I... I don't know what to say," I began, trying to put my jumbled feelings into words. "I've never been in the line of duty before."
"We're going to do a crash course field training session tomorrow to prepare you for the job."
"But... I've never left headquarters before. I don't know what to say or do... how can I convince people that I'm Xara?"
"You are Xara," the Director replied. "From this day forward, your name is no longer Agent 24 sub one, it is Agent 24. The real Xara Oclen is to be referred to as Agent 24 sub zero. You are Xara, the real Agent X."
I didn't know what to say. I was no longer Agent X.2. I was no longer Agent 24 sub one. They were making me Xara.
I am now Xara. I am the real Agent X.
For so long, I had been the 'other,' the clone, the copy. Now, I was the original.
I gazed up at the Director, my eyebrows knit together.
"Do... do you really think I can pull it off?" I questioned.
"We're about to find out," the Director said. I sucked in a breath.
"What?"
"We are sending up Team Summit to have lunch with you in two hours," the Director explained. "Your job is to convince them that you are the real Xara. Right now, we're going to upload the most recent files of Xara's mind into your mind."
On the opposite end of the room, I saw the door to the laboratory open. Professor Nyryn and Professor Endals stepped into the room, waiting for me to come.
"Once you are done, come back here. Unfortunately, the files of Agent 24 sub zero's brain are missing memories from this past month, since we only were able to get data when Xara had her physical checkups with Professor Nyryn. However, we have compiled a video that will provide you with as many details as we can from the past month."
I nodded with a sigh and headed to the lab. The Professors smiled at me warmly.
"Right in here, Xara," Professor Nyryn said. "You know the drill."
The familiar smell of chemicals hit me as I entered the laboratory. My eyes immediately fell on the wires splayed across the floor. I scanned the cramped room, trying to determine a strategy to make it to the examination table.
The desks of the Professors lined the left and right walls of the room. Both were cluttered with papers, files, beakers, and three computers. Various machines were scattered throughout the room like islands. I stood on the tips of my toes and squeezed past the desks, carefully watching the floor so I didn't step on anything.
After some expert maneuvers, I reached the tall table. I hoisted myself up, the exam table paper crinkling underneath me. I lay down, trying to remain still while the Professors bustled around the room, attaching wires to my head. I felt little sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. Computers whirred to life around me. I stared at the shelves lining the walls while I waited. The various levels were crowded with vials and beakers, each containing electric-colored liquid. Without realizing it, I began counting the number of colors on the shelf.
Ten red. Seven orange. Three yellow. Fourteen green. Nine blue. Twenty-two purple. One pink.
Someday, I hoped to learn what the various fluids were. I'd grown up surrounded by the Professors' experiments, yet I knew barely anything about them.
Maybe one day I'll find out, I thought wistfully.
Professor Nyryn placed a plastic cone around my head, while Professor Endals grabbed a vial of clear fluid. It was the sedative that they always gave me during the data transfer. They said that the process went faster when I was unconscious. The professor poured the viscous liquid into my mouth. It tasted slightly sweet, but in an unpleasant sort of way.
It reminded me of the one time I had gotten sick and had gone on medication. So many antibiotics were laced with artificial sugars that leave the most horrible aftertaste. That was one advantage to being isolated. It prevented me from being exposed to pathogens in the air, so I didn't have to go on prescription drugs very often.
The effect of the sedative was instantaneous. I felt each muscle in my body relax. My eyelids felt heavy and gently closed. The thoughts buzzing around in my head froze, making me numb to the outside world. Very soon, everything went dark.
The sound of a loud alarm going off broke me from my concentration on the videoed mission briefing. It was noon, time for me to meet with the four other agents apart of Team Summit. It was time to see if I was good enough to convince them that I was the real Xara.
I had woken from my state of data transfer at eleven a.m. Whenever I woke to new data being entered in my brain, it caused me to feel stimulated and alive. A billion thoughts rushed through my head, images flashed, a dozen moments played at once. I told the Professors about the odd experiences that occur every time I had a data transfer. They said it was perfectly normal. It was just my brain trying to process everything that had just been imputed in my brain.
After I had recovered from my momentary burst of information, I went to the couches to watch the videos that the Director had brought. It included a detailed mission report from Agent 52 on the occurrences yesterday when Agent X was captured. It also detailed exactly what I was to tell Team Summit if they asked me how I got out of the WAOIC prison.
My phone vibrated. I glanced down to see a message from Director Rokmond.
Go to your room. Stay hidden until I text you again.
They were coming. I dashed into my bedroom, the adrenaline beginning to rise in my veins. What if I am a failure? This was essentially my first mission. It was a small one, but it was essential. It would prove if I was capable of doing greater things, or if all of their efforts had been useless.
I pressed my ear up to the closed door. I heard the front door unlock and the sound of footsteps echoing on the wooden floor.
"Wow, what's here?" a male voice asked. My brain immediately pulled up a series of memories of that voice, informing me that it was Ty.
"You'll find out soon enough." The firmness in the Director's voice ensured that they didn't press the issue. "Go to the kitchen over there. I bought each of you sushi for lunch. It's in the fridge."
"Thanks Rokmond," another spoke. According to my database, that was Finn, Xara's brother. I guess he's my brother too, I thought with a jolt.
Focus, Xara! I turned my attention back to the mini mission.
"Yes, thank you," a higher pitched voice said. That must be Dari, I determined. I didn't even have to consult my sonographic files to know it.
"Sit at the table when you have your food," The Director commanded. "I have a guest I want you to meet."
I practically held my breath for a minute as I heard the scuffling of feet on the other side of the door. The anticipation was killing me. You are Xara. You are Xara. You. Are. Xara.
My phone buzzed with another message from the director.
Showtime.
I smiled to myself. That was something the real Xara would say. So I supposed that now, it would be something I said.
Showtime.
I inhaled deeply and pushed open the door. I peered at the crew seated at the table across the room. For a moment, my breath caught in my throat.
This is it. This is the moment you've been waiting for your whole life.
I could have stood there for ages, reveling in that moment. But I wasn't me anymore. I was Xara.
And Xara was all business all the time.
Four pairs of eyes came to rest on me. Four jaws gaped. Four pairs of chopsticks clattered on the table.
"Xara?" Ty asked, stunned.
I kept my expression neutral. Simplicity was best when it came to Xara.
"Hello," I said simply. The feelings inside my head were sending mixed signals. I felt like I knew each and every person sitting around that table. Ty, Dari, Jax, and Finn; I had seen every single memory that Xara had of them. I had heard every single word that the four of them had spoken while talking with Xara. I felt like I was being reunited with old friends.
And yet, part of me felt like we were strangers. After all, this was the first time I'd ever come face to face with one of them.
Come to think of it, this was the first time I'd ever seen someone other than the professors or the U.L.
I shoved my thoughts aside. Now was not the time to be reflecting on emotions. In fact, now that I'd become Xara, I knew that I could never show emotion. As far as I could tell, Xara didn't have very many emotions. She was always calm, always cool, and always collected. Emotionless.
She'd figured out a way to mute them. She didn't even try to push them away, since they rarely came.
That was definitely an area to work on.
I crossed to where Team Summit had gathered. The four stared wide-eyed at me. No one uttered a word, the room was completely still. The Director walked out of the kitchen, setting a plate of sushi down at the last remaining chair at the table.
"I have some paperwork to do," The Director announced. "I'll leave you all to chat."
Before anyone could reply, the Director exited the room.
I slid into the empty chair, making sure to sit up straight with perfect posture.
"How's everyone doing?" I asked, keeping my tone matter-of-fact.
The crew just stared at me. This is so awkward, I thought. Please say something!
Finally, Finn cleared his throat. "Wow, Xara. I just... I can't believe it. How did they get you out?"
"Simple. I had a tracker in my jacket. The U.L. sent out a rescue team yesterday evening. They set the prison on fire and I was out in a matter of minutes."
The words that I had heard on the recording moments prior rolled off my tough effortlessly.
"That's incredible," Dari said, taking a bite of sushi. "I wish I had been a part of it."
"Yeah, why didn't they tell us?" Ty whined. "I would have loved to set WAOIC's top secret prison ablaze."
"They were concerned that you would be too emotionally shaken from the whole situation. Besides, some people needed to rest." I pointedly turned my gaze to Ty. He froze while in the middle of chewing his food.
"What?" he asked with his mouth full.
"You got hurt in the explosion," I stated. "You couldn't possibly go on a mission with an injury."
"Oh come on!" Ty exclaimed. "What do you mean 'injury?'"
"You were knocked unconscious," I stated, raising an eyebrow. "Also, don't talk with your mouth full."
He quickly gulped down his sushi.
"So? You'd do the same..." His voice trailed off. For a moment, his usual, jovial manner was gone. I tried to suppress my nervousness. Everything is fine. He's just...
There was nothing I could tell myself to calm down. I had literally no idea why he had stopped mid sentence, why he had that indescribable expression on his face. Awkward...
I cleared my throat, trying to move on from how uncomfortable I was feeling at the moment. What do I say? It suddenly dawned on me that I shouldn't be forcing myself to speak. Xara only spoke when she found it necessary. She never rambled on like, well, Ty.
You aren't stoic enough, I told myself. Stop talking now. There's nothing to say, so don't say anything. That's what Xara would do.
I turned my attention to eating my sushi. If the others wanted to talk, they'd talk. If they didn't, then they wouldn't.
"So, what was it like being captured?" Finn inquired after a minute of uncomfortable silence.
"There wasn't anything too special about it. They knocked me out before we left the warehouse, so the next event I remember is waking up in a prison cell."
"What was the prison like?"
"Quiet, and a bit dirty," I said, reciting exactly what I had been told.
"Did they interrogate you?" Ty asked, his eyes opening abnormally wide.
"They didn't have a chance," I replied smoothly. "About half an hour after I regained consciousness, the fire began and the IIA got me out."
"That's good," Ty said softly.
I nodded, shoving sushi in my mouth so I didn't have to reply. To my relief, we ate in silence for a few moments. I couldn't tell if I was saying the right things or acting the way I should.
Are they getting suspicious? They didn't look suspicious, but there was no way to be sure.
"Have you ever been up here before?" Dari finally asked.
I paused. I hadn't been prepared for that question. Quickly, I searched my memory bank—I mean the real Xara's memory bank—to see if she'd ever been on the top level of headquarters before. I didn't see any indication that she had, so I answered:
"No."
"Really?" Dari said. "I thought for sure that you'd have been allowed up here."
"Yeah, you're the most important agent in the whole IIA," Ty chimed in. "Why wouldn't they allow you up here?"
"It's top security," I said. "Sometimes, it's best to keep things a secret from everyone, regardless of whether you trust them or not."
That felt rather Xara-like, I thought. Pride surged through me.
And then I immediately felt guilty. Because it wasn't like Xara to feel pride. Sure, she had moments of satisfaction, pride if you will. But she never got cocky. And that's the kind of pride I just felt.
Why does this have to be so hard?
"Are we all ready to fly to Belgium?" Finn mentioned.
I gave a single nod. That was also rather Xara-like. Just a single nod of affirmation or recognition, nothing more.
As nerve racking as this whole "mini assignment" was, I was grateful for it. I realized that I had to shift my entire way of thinking to match that of Xara's. And that was no easy task. It was a skill that I would have to develop.
And practice was key in the transformative process.
Just then, I heard the front door creak open again. I turned around to see Director Rokmond. I should have felt relieved. He was going to expose me to the crew as being Xara's replacement. And then, I could stop pretending.
But... there was a part of me that wanted to keep pretending. It was kind of fun being someone I'm not. Especially when that person is highly respected and skilled.
Especially when that person is Agent X.
"Back so soon, Director?" Finn questioned.
"Yes, I've come to escort you from this level of the IIA," he informed us.
"What?" Ty exclaimed. "We were just getting reacquainted."
"It's been less than twenty-four hours," I stated, unamused.
"It's felt like longer," Ty muttered.
"You need to rest, Ty," the Director insisted. "You took a bad fall in the helicopter. Although electron donating treatments have helped to heal you at a faster rate than normal, you must fully recover so that you will be ready for the upcoming mission.
Ty threw his head back and groaned, but didn't argue. He knew what would happen if he didn't comply: he would be removed from the mission team.
"Fine," he huffed.
The Director gave a slight nod before continuing. "And as for the rest of you, go prepare for the mission ahead. Xara and I have a few things to discuss. Agent 11 will escort you downstairs."
Reluctantly, the others got up from their seats and left the room. Once the door was safely closed and bolted, I turned to Director Rokmond.
"Why didn't you tell them?" I asked.
"I wanted to test this experiment for a little bit longer," he explained. "Sure, they might not catch on at first. But I don't care about the short term. We need to know if you can be a long-term replacement for your predecessor. And only time will answer that question."