SAGE
"We should go to an aquarium later, I want to look at the sharks." Travis suggests, with a bright smile on his face.
I'm disgusting, yesterday I fed into a horrible impulse to see Greyson and despite the bickering I haven't felt so alive in forever. Now I'm naked in bed with my boyfriend thinking about what Greyson told me to do, how he basically demanded I come back to live with him.
The idea is crazy, it's been four years and we're both different people now. Our connection is still there but what if we were to realize it was all based on a whim. Feeding into an old flame that should've been put out years ago.
"I'm not feeling to well." I inform him.
He gives me a concerned look. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing...I'm just...exhausted." I lie.
Travis sits up. "Well I can drive up to a store and get you something."
The reason I feel unwell can't be spoken out loud, it will not only hurt someone but feed into something that I need to obliterate from my mind. I hate that I went to see Greyson because I was infuriated that he not only chose Bianca but didn't even say anything seeing me walk into his hotel with another man.
Only to find out he tried to be mature and I was being selfish intruding into something I had no place being.
"Travis I just was to rest, I appreciate it though." I pull the cover over me.
His brow arches. "I didn't want to say anything but I've noticed some things."
"What?" My heart drops.
He leans over to me. "You've been acting strange since the hotel and you haven't really caught me up on some of your familial background either. I'm just wondering if something about that perhaps has been stressing you. I mean even during sex where I usually get all your attention, I see you drift off into space. Which I gotta say, hurts a guys ego."
"I'm just not feeling well, there's nothing more to it."
Travis scoffs. "I typically don't care for your evasiveness."
"I'm not being evasive I just don't feel well, where is this coming from?" I frown.
His eyes slice to mine. "Because I'm hurt Sage, you didn't see yourself the way I did that night. I watched emotions come out of you from a complete stranger that I have never seen or even thought existed. I'm possessive too, especially with a girl like you, but you looked at a man with another woman and was not only torn but extremely angry. Like a lovers quarrel, yet you both were with your own significant others."
"That's not true."
"Then what's the problem!?" He snaps. "Because I'm no idiot Sage, that night I lost the girl I fell in love with and ended up with her shell. It's like you're giving me leftovers of yourself."
I sit up. "Travis, it's not like that...I'm just going through some things."
"I love you, Sage." He tells me, his tone as serious as can be. "And that's nothing I take lightly, I'm just hoping you're not toying with it."
Why is he making this more difficult? Why couldn't this just be an easy choice, between a guy who I loved so much that it overwhelmed me or the one that makes me feel safe in every way possible.
This is what my problem is, the choice was already set in stone. Travis has to be the one, Greyson and I didn't work out but Travis and I haven't even given it a full chance. It's not sane for me to go backwards into a relationship that almost destroyed me because of things I had no control over.
With Travis I have all the control I need.
My choices are made by me and there's nothing crazy happening every other day, it's simple.
I throw my arms around Travis. "I'm sorry I've made you feel this way...I don't take it lightly."
"Just, please...don't leave me."
There's no way I could even if I wanted to.
~*~*~*~*~
This week has been annoyingly long and I am ready for it to be Saturday, I'm going to spend the whole day sleeping in. I already comforted Travis enough so he won't be hovering around me for assurance and has agreed to give me at least that entire day to relax.
The only thing is I have to join him for dinner at his parents house and if it wasn't awkward being around him after kissing another man, my guilt will kill me being around his sweet parents who practically want me to marry their son on sight.
"S-Sage!" Dad shouts from downstairs.
I look over to my doorway and sighed, curious what he wanted. Deciding it was best to just deal with it quickly I slam my laptop closed and slid off my bed. Slowly I walk over to the hallway, I was pretty exhausted from the events that have played out.
"I'm coming!" I shout back.
That's when I heard him speak. "Y-You can't just go up—"
Out of nowhere I slam into something hard as I stretched, only to look up and see Greyson standing there with a look of fury. Before I could say anything he stalks me into my room and slams the door shut behind him.
My eyes were wide, I don't think I've ever seen a look like that before.
"You suckered out." Greyson's voice was deeper than usual, his eyes were threatening me.
I gulped. "Greyson, I never agreed—"
"Like fuck you agreed, the moment you kissed me back Sage Slade was the moment you signed your fate off back to being where you belong, with me."
I shook my head. "But Travis, I can't leave him."
"Stop the fucking excuses Sage, if you really only had eyes for him you wouldn't have ran into my building to see me. I would've dealt with it the best way I could if you were truly serious, but you did this Sage, you."
My eyes drop.
"Don't look away!" He snaps, lifting my face back to facing him. "I pity the guy, I do. But you're mine and I could care less what your excuses are, you want me still."
I push him away. "I made a mistake coming to see you, it was a mistake."
Greyson stood there in silence and stared at me.
Then without any warning he throws off his jacket and unbottons his shirt.
"What are you doing?" My chest tightened.
He grabs my hand and pulls me towards him, placing my palm onto his chest. "Do you feel that Sage?"
"Y-Yes but why am I...?"
His eyes looked intently into mine. "Do you know you're the only woman on this Earth to do that to me."
"Do what?"
He swallows down. "Make my heart beat."
clenched my hand and looked away.
"Remember what I told you that night under the universe, without you I forget it's there, completely submerged in nothingness."
I yank my wrist off of his hold. "You can't just do stuff like that, we're not the same people."
"Says who?" He scoffs. "Why are you so reluctant?"
I lick my lips. "Because I've already promised myself to another man, it's not right."
"Fuck whats right Sage, what do you want?" He asks me.
That answer is hard because what I truly want is for no one to be hurt, at times like this I'd rather be alone than have to chose between two men who I care for so deeply.
It's not fair that the world just threw Greyson at me when I invested so much time into someone else, it just feels like I was using Travis to pass time and not be lonely at that point. For me to just rush into something else feels wrong.
I look at him and breathe out. "For you to leave me and forget I existed."
As soon as the words came out everything flashed right before me, soon I was on my back, Greyson on top of me. His hands were tightly wrapped around my wrists, and he had an expression of torment.
"Get off—"
Greyson leans in and kisses me before I could finish my sentence, I tried to struggle out of it but he had me pinned down in a way it was impossible to escape. He kept going until I had no choice but to stop fighting it.
My chest elevated and collapsed at rapid speeds, I had to catch my breath, and my face was warm.
"You will be my wife." He growls. "I don't care if I have to tie you up and force you to do it, I'm never going through my life without you again. Forgetting you isn't possible for me Sage, you're engraved into my being."
Suddenly my nose began to sting.
"I love you and I'm not sure you understand the dilemma of having you beneath me after so many years and not go past kissing you until your mind goes blank." He leans back into my neck and bites it. "I've wanted you for so long it's almost torture."
I breathe out. "We can't..."
"Says who?"
I shake my head. "I'm still with Travis."
"You're still able to think about him?" He scoffs. "Sounds like a challenge, I'll make you forget him instantly."
I swallow down, my throat began to dry up. "Please...don't..."
Greyson gazes down at me, scanning me all around, then he backs away.
Finally I am able to think straight and watch as he buttons up his shirt back. I had forgotten how perfect his profile was from the side. How attractive he is and how aging only made him more tempting to look at.
"I'm only going to say this once more then I'll take matters into my own hands." He shrugs his coat back on. "Break up with him and pack your bags to live with me, or I'll do those things for you and trust me you don't want that. It'll be much more devastating for him to hear it from me than you."
"Greyson." I sigh. "Stop it."
He smiles at me, for the first time in forever. "Sage, you're not changing my mind."
"I'm not changing mine either." I cross my arms.
He crosses his. "You may not know it but you did the moment you stepped into the Blackstone Towers. Once you realize it I'll start the process of making you a very happy wife, I'll start with you being stark in my bed and screaming my name. You'll forget whatshisface in no time."
"Greyson that's—"
"Exactly what you want? Now you're thinking about it?" He drops his arms. "I'd prefer the next time we meet it's not in red hot fury like earlier, this atmosphere suits us much more don't you think?"
"Stop speaking for me!"
Greyson begins to head out. "Wouldn't have to if you just said the right answers."
"We're not getting back together, I'm serious!"
He turns his head before exiting my room. "Sage."
"Greyson, seriously, listen to me."
He looks down. "No need to listen to you unless you're going to tell me what we both know is the right ending to all of this. We will end up together, I don't care if it takes a decade and a divorce from you and Travis. Once you really understand that, we can truly go forward."
Once Greyson closes the door behind him, I slumped onto my bed.
I hate him
But I love him way more.