Harry Styles | July 4, 2018
"I don't wanna make you feel bad, but I've been trying hard not to talk to you, my sunflower." I sang softly as I played with McKenna's guitar. I actually ended up falling asleep next to her, but I couldn't actually sleep.
The thought of Dylan hitting her kept me up at night, and I was holding back on punching the guy in the face because I didn't want the backlash from the media.
I looked back to McKenna who was fast asleep on her bed, she truly didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve anything bad that has happened to her. If only I could turn back time and take back the day that I kissed Camille, I would take it back in a heartbeat.
"No! Dylan, let go of me!" McKenna's sudden shriek made me snap out of my thoughts, and my head snapped to her body that was thrashing around the bed, she was restless, and I was quick on my feet. I sat next to her sleeping figure, and I softly brought my hand to her shoulder to shake her awake, but she instinctively flinched.
"Stop, please!" She jolted awake, and I tried to comfort her, bringing my hand to touch her shoulder but she flinched away again, "Don't touch me!"
Her eyes snapped to meet mine, and as soon as she realized it was me, her eyes softened, and the tears were apparent in them.
"What are you doing here?" Her soft voice spoke, and I brought my arm out to reach her shoulder, and this time she didn't flinch away.
"I immediately came when Zoe called." My voice was soft, not wanting to disrupt the peace of the room. I noticed that she shut her eyes in pain, the gash on her temple looks painful, and I walk into her bathroom, remembering her saying she kept a first aid kit in one of the cupboards.
I finally find the white box, taking it to her bed, and sitting next to her with the box on my lap. "I'm going to clean your cut, okay?"
She nodded, and I took some Neosporin on a q-tip and started to treat her cut. She winced in pain as soon as the q-tip came in contact with her cut, and was quick to grip my other hand that was placed on top of her duvet.
"Sorry." I whispered, and her hazel eyes meet mine, the sun was streaming through her windows, making her brown eyes appear lighter. But you could see the sadness and pain in them, I'm going to fucking kill Dylan.
But the way she was looking at me was like she understood that I wasn't saying sorry for hurting her with the Neosporin, but I was sorry for fucking up.
"It's okay, I'm okay." She takes her hand and pushes my wrist away, but my brows furrow, and I cup both of her cheeks in my hand. The tears were pooling in her eyes, and she leans into my touch, making my heart soar.
"I missed you, angel. And Zoe's call scared the shit out of me, I didn't know what to do so I came here as fast as I could." She nodded, but then her eyes snapped open, and they looked into mine, worry and concern filled her hazel eyes.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you in the middle of tour?" She was panicked, grasping my wrists as my hands were still cupping her cheeks. I smiled softly at her, which made her only furrow her brows.
"I postponed the shows, don't worry angel. I talked to Jeff and he's pissed, but you're safety is my priority." I brought my face closer to hers, and leaned my forehead to touch hers. I placed a small kiss on her nose, her forehead, and each of her cheeks. I could feel her tears as they collect in the palm of my hand. I kissed her tears away, kissing each of her eyelids as she shut them. "I'm really fucking glad you're safe, but I'm going to kill him, McKenna."
She let out a shaky breath, before slowly fluttering her eyes open. What hurts me the most is that even though that fucker, Dylan left scars that would be healed after a few weeks, but the trauma he had left would be carried by McKenna forever.
"Don't leave me please." She whispers, which catches me off guard, the tears were still streaming down her face. "Please hold me."
Her voice was soft, and I nodded. She pulls me to lie with her in bed, and she cuddles into me, laying her head on my chest.
I missed this, I missed having her so close to me, and I know I fucked up, but I'm going to do everything that I can to make her feel better. Even if she wants me to stay away from her, I just want her to be happy.
It wasn't long until McKenna fell back asleep, her steady breathing making me tighten my grip around her waist.
"I know you're probably scared to love again, because you're heart's broken right now. But I promise you angel, I'm always going to be open for you." I whispered to her, placing a kiss on her forehead.
McKenna Prentiss | July 4, 2018
I woke up because Harry's heavy body was crushing my arm, and it was only then that I realized how much he loved being the little spoon. As tall as he is, he still likes it when I cuddle him. I remember him telling me how 'amazing it feels to be held', and it was amazing.
But I didn't deserve this, I didn't deserve him being here with me. He was in the middle of tour, and he dropped all of that just to come be with me?
The thing that happened with Camille happened so long ago, that I almost forgot it only happened a few months back, but that doesn't change the fact that I still love Harry, I mean I told him that, he knew it.
After what happened with Dylan however, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I hadn't realized how manipulative and controlling Dylan was being when we were together.
He would always pick where we would eat, and it would end up being at the most extravagant restaurants where paparazzi's were waiting. He would also tell me how to dress in the most manipulative way, he would point out how skirts make my legs look shorter, or how dresses make me 'easily fuckable', at that time, I didn't pay it any attention at all. I was just going with how he was because I thought it was who I was too. Only for me to realize that I was living through his orders and manipulation. I was never truly myself, only a puppet for one Dylan Parker to control.
Being with Harry was totally different, and I loved who I was when I was with him, but he cheated. He promised me how he would never, ever become the man Brooklyn was. Harry cheating just brought out the insecurities I've been trying to bottle up inside.
I managed to pull my arm away from Harry's crushing body, and I slowly moved out of bed, my eyes catching the guitar that was placed on my couch, making me furrow my brows.
I walk to my couch, grabbing the guitar and seeing Harry's messy handwriting on a piece of paper underneath the guitar.
I don't wanna make you feel bad
But I've been trying hard not to talk to you
My sunflower
Underneath each lyric were the chords to the song, and I smiled, it was an upbeat tune, so I sat on my couch, taking the guitar and placing it on my lap before I started to play the chords.
"Sunflowers, sometimes, keep it sweet in your memory. I was just tongue-tied. I don't want to make you feel bad but I've been trying hard not to act a fool, my sunflower." I sang softly, strumming the chords on the guitar as I close my eyes, letting the familiar feeling of playing the guitar settle into me.
I haven't sang, played the guitar, and written in the last few weeks, all because of Dylan. I had realized now that he only wanted me because I was famous, he needed that, he needed to boost his fame as well.
I actually don't remember what happened, well, except from Dylan bashing my head into the door, and me hitting my head on his coffee table, but after that, the memories were a blur. I didn't even know how I got home, or when Harry arrived, but I was glad he was here.
"You're awake." I jumped in fright as Harry's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, my gaze met his as he wraps my white duvet over his body to where only his head was seen.
"Fuck you scared me." I placed the guitar next to me, leaning on my knees as Harry pushes himself to sit up, but evidently falls back in bed with a huff.
"Why is your bed so fucking comfortable." He groans, which makes me chuckle. He sits up again, this time, he was leaning against the headboard, his eyes never leaving mine and from here I could see the concern swirling in his green irises. "How are you feeling?"
I shrug, not entirely sure what I was feeling, if I was being honest. A knock on my door made Harry and I's gaze snap to it, only to see Zoe, Kelsey and Niall walk into the room.
I suddenly felt safe in the comfort of my own room, and the comfort of the 4 people surrounding me. Zoe takes her seat next to me, whilst Kelsey and Niall opt to squish themselves together on the beanbag next to my closet.
"How are you, Kenna?" Zoe asks, brushing my hair away from my face, and I shrug again.
"I still don't know what happened after I hit my head on the coffee table, all I remember was Dylan on top of me and everything else after that was a blur." I bring my knees up to my chest, and hug them tightly as 4 pairs of eyes stare at me. I snap my head up to meet all of their gazes, "Could you please not stare, it's uncomfortable."
"Are you sure you want to know what happened?" Kelsey asks, and I nod, I needed to know if the nightmares were true.
"Well, you called me," Niall spoke up, and I turned to meet his gaze, his blue eyes pale under the afternoon sun that was shining through the windows, "And I answered as soon as I could, but the first thing I heard was something hitting a wall, or a door, I don't know. T-then, uh-"
Niall couldn't finish his sentence as he takes a shaky deep breath, and I realized that his eyes were pooling with tears, making my heart break even more, "Uh-, I heard you yelling at Dylan to stop. It was then that I knew I had to come get you, and I wish I had left sooner, Ken, I wish I had left as soon as you called, because you were crying, and as soon as I got there h-he, he w-was on t-top of you, and I didn't know what to do, so I punched him, and Kelsey called the cops."
The room was silent after that, but what I didn't realize was that everyone was crying, from Zoe who was sitting next to me with her head in her hands as she let out a few sobs, to Kelsey whose face was hiding in Niall's chest as tears escaped the blue eyed boy, and to Harry who had his fists clenched onto my duvet, his eyes raging with fury, and there were angry tears glistening on his cheeks.
"Wh-where is he now?" I managed to stutter out, which made Niall meet my gaze.
"The cops brought him in, but Zoe got a call last night saying his parents posted his bail. But he won't hurt you now, Ken, I promise." He assures me, and his blue eyes were soft, which reminded me of the ocean, the only place I want to be at right now. So that's what I decided to do today.
I stood from the couch, catching the eyes of everyone in the room as their gaze followed my actions. I first put my guitar in it's case, placing my journal inside as well before shutting the case closed. Next I walked into my closet, taking my red bikini and some denim cut offs. I closed the closet door before changing into the bikini, throwing my shorts on top of them and grabbing Harry's sweatshirt he didn't know I stole. It was one of my favorite sweaters, and I just knew he would instantly recognize it was his. Since the sweater was quite huge, it fell off my shoulder as I tucked the front into the denim shorts.
I exited my closet, and all of their eyes simultaneously widened at my sudden outfit change. Zoe's brow arched at me, "Where are you going?"
"Well, I want to go to the beach, so let's go to the beach." I shrug, making the four people look at each other with furrowed brows, before turning back to me with confused expressions.
"Kennie, we don't have to go out, we could just stay here." I knew they didn't want me going out with a fucking cut on my forehead and bruises on my wrist, which is why I took a baseball cap from behind my door, placing it on me and pointing to it, so they got the hint that I really wanted to go out.
"Are you sure, Ken?" Niall asked, and I groaned, the impulsivity I had earlier starting to diminish, but Harry was quick to change that when he got out of my bed, and stood next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulders.
"Well, if McKenna wants to go to the beach, then let's go to the beach." Harry shrugs, and I grin up at him.
"Come on, I'll drive." I take my keys from my nightstand and grab my guitar case, leaving a confused Zoe, and a concerned Kelsey and Niall, whilst Harry followed me out.
"You can borrow my dad's swimming trunks if you want." I stop in my tracks, turning to Harry who nods shyly at me, and I nod back, making my way to my parents room to grab two trunks, a bright yellow one for Harry, and a pair of black ones for Niall.
I exited my parents room to see Harry and Niall patiently waiting for me in the hallway. I threw the yellow trunks to Harry and the black ones to Niall before leaving them to go start the car.
I needed time to relax, and the only place I could ever relax was the beach. It was also a good thing that I had left my purse inside my car, making me check if I still had some weed we could all get high off, and I did.
Well, I knew Zoe and Harry smoked, I wasn't sure about Kelsey and Niall.
"Took you long enough." I said as Harry sat in the passenger seat next to me, whilst Zoe, Niall and Kenna piled in the back of my White Jeep Wrangler. I had removed the roof of the back of the Jeep, knowing full well how beautiful the sun was and how amazing the weather we had on today.
I drove out of the driveway, making a stop first at McDonald's because Niall claimed he was hungry.
After picking up Niall's food, and driving through the freeway, we finally made it to a secluded part of Malibu beach, and as soon as the scent of the ocean hit my nose, I felt my shoulders relax.
I was thankful Zoe had her, what I call, 'mom mode' on, because she managed to bring a few blankets and towels, so that we didn't have to sit on the sand, which I wasn't opposed to.
We finally settled down and I took off the sweater, immediately catching Harry's eyes, he furrowed his brows, staring at the sweater I had just discarded.
"Is this mine?" He takes the light brown knitted sweater in his hands, and I nod meekly. "Looks better on you anyway, angel."
"Alright," Niall pipes up, making me turn to him, "If you two are just going to flirt in front of us, might as well get a room."
I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks, making Zoe coo, pinching my cheeks, "Awe, you guys, Kenna's blushing."
I swat Zoe's hand away, and my gaze finds Harry, who was smiling smugly at me. I stood up unexpectedly, discarding my shorts and running to the water.
As soon as I was belly deep into the water, I submerged myself, taking a minute to appreciate the calming salt water, and the silence that came with the ocean. I swam up to see Niall and Kelsey lying on the beach towels, whilst Zoe was off to the side, talking on the phone. Wait, where is Harry?
"Looking for me, angel?" My body twists to see Harry behind me, and I could see the black ink adorning his body, the two swallows, the most underrated tattoo he had, was peeking out of the water.
"No, just keeping an eye on Kelsey and Niall." I answer back, making his mouth part in shock, which makes me smile. He swims closer to me, suddenly pulling me by my waist, making me widen my eyes at him.
"What do you think you're doing?" I ask him, and he just grins at me, and suddenly being in his arms made me relax. I place my arms on his shoulders, pulling him closer to me, making him let out a small chuckle.
He rests his forehead on mine, nuzzling his nose against mine, taking in a deep breath, as if he was trying to memorize my scent.
"How are you really, McKenna?" His voice was stern, and the way he called me McKenna made goosebumps rise all over my skin. The waves were crashing with our bodies, making us move closer to the shore, but with my legs wrapped around Harry's waist, and his feet planted on the sand below, we remain still.
I didn't know how to answer his question, heck, I didn't even know how I was feeling. Going to the beach, being here was a good distraction, I knew it was. But what will happen once I get back home? Once Harry goes back on tour? The only reason I felt safe now was because I was in the arms of the person I truly trust. Despite the whole cheating thing, I trusted Harry with my life, the way he trusted me with his.
I could feel the tears pricking my eyes as I start to think about being alone, and I used to love being alone. But I didn't want to anymore, I was afraid.
Afraid of what I would think once I'm isolated from everyone, or once they isolate themselves from me.
Now I started to overthink everything, and Harry was quick to realize how I dazed off, taking my chin in between his fingers to lift it up so I could meet his gaze, "What's going on in that pretty little mind of yours angel? Hmm?"
His voice was soft, a contrast to the loud crashing of the waves that surround us. The sun was still at it's peak, shining way above us, making Harry's tattoos on his shoulders glisten under the rays of the sun.
"I don't want to be alone." Was all I said, and Harry brought me in closer, hugging me tight as if I was going to disappear if he let go.
"You will never be alone, angel. I'll always be here. I'm not going anywhere this time." He whispered into my ear, making the tears that were pooling in my eyes, finally cascade. The salt water that was escaping my eyes were mixing with the vast pool of salt water surrounding Harry and I.
"Do you promise?" I meekly asked, raising my head from the crook of his neck to meet his green irises that were now a shining emerald color due to the sun.
"I promise angel." He takes his hands that were around my waist, and he brings them up to cup my cheeks, he tilts his head upwards, placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
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hello! i've been reading you guys' comments and it just makes me so happy how you all have fallen in love with my book 🥺 i can't explain how happy i am when i read ur comments and see the number of reads, votes & comments growing.
also, i would just like to say that yes, what mckenna did go through was traumatic, and we all deal with it in different ways, this is just mckenna's way of dealing with hers, and i do not think it's the healthiest way of dealing with trauma. this is just her "distraction" so to say, so please don't hate me for making it seem as if what happened between her & dylan was not at all traumatic! 🥺
i have 4 more books lined up after Scandal is finished, so I hope you guys stick around for those books 🥺 I have 2 Harry AU's, 1 famous Harry fic, and 1 Harry, Niall & Louis AU.
i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
all my love,
savannah x