How do you like to start your day? Are you a morning person? Because Kara isn't. Or, at least she wasn't...
"Kara..."
The grumpy blonde doesn't reply, she just covers her head with the blanket. Clark chuckles, finding it very cute. His cousin sometimes acts like a little kid and it's cute, so cute that Clark would love to let her sleep all the time she wants but they have their 1st doctor appointment today, and, it's important so...
"Kara... Kara, wake up..."
Clark just hears groans coming under the blankets. With the eyes closed, Kara refuses to wake up, even when the rays of sunshine illuminate the room when Lex opens the curtains. Lex raises an eyebrow because even with the light of the sun, the girl refuses to wake up. The smart Luthor doesn't know what else to do, but Clark has an idea of what they can do to wake her up.
For a moment the room stays quiet, and Kara deeply signs. 'I can keep sleeping' was the feeling of the blonde when no one continued to wake her up. Kara was ready to return to dreamland, but she wasn't ready for what Clark had planned to wake her up.
A delicate sweet aroma enters the room, it doesn't go undetected by the blonde, especially when she inhales it and recognizes the flavors.
"Hmmm... pancakes..."
Kara mumbles with the eyes closed. She hasn't opened them yet, but she can already see what is waiting for her. The golden syrup cascading the yummy, puffed cornmeal. With the berries from the Kent's garden on top of the spongy circles. The perfect picture if you ask Kara. And, the perfect way to get her out of bed.
"I knew that this would wake you up"
Clark smiles when he sees his dear cousin, devouring the plate of pancakes. Lex just chuckles because, of course it's food, the only way to get to Kara, just like Clark.
"You're definitely family"
Clark and Kara stare at each other and giggle under the comment of the dear Luthor. And yes, Kara as well as Clark, she loves to eat. She can eat anything, except green things. Vegetables are her Kryptonite just like for Clark, something that Lex wants to change, but it's easier to say than done. Even so, it's not just the food what Kara loves, it's all the affection, all the love and tenderness that Clark conveys in the pancakes. They are made with love, and Kara can feel it in each bite. So, yeah, Kara is not a morning person, but since she's with the Kent's that feeling changed because each morning, there's always the sweet aroma of Clark's pancakes which makes her open her eyes with a big smile...
"Hmmm... pancakes..."
Kara mumbles under her sleep at the memory of those days, she wakes up with a big smile which vanishes quickly when she's sadly reminded that those days are over. Clark is no longer here to make pancakes, there'll no more that sweet aroma which would force her to wake up each morning. And, the realisation of what is lost once again, it brings a big sadness in Kara's heart.
With the eyes open, Kara deeply exhales when she wakes up to her new reality. One part of her wants to cry, but she quickly rubs her eyes, trying to keep it together, trying to look strong for the baby she's carrying. It's easier to say than done, and, maybe that's why the first thing that Kara does when she wakes up, it's to try to make pancakes...
"I can't promise they will be as good as those of Clark, but, I'll try..."
The blonde talks to the baby inside her belly and gets ready to prepare breakfast. Yeah, Kara likes to start her days with pancakes. And, if you are wondering how Lena Luthor likes to start her mornings, the answer is simple: with a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
From the crushing sounds of the coffee beans till the exquisite smell of the black substance once it's served, Lena enjoys nothing more than starting her daily life making coffee. So, you can imagine her disappointment when she's no longer able to have the only thing she loves in her life because...
"What the heck?! This kitchen is a mess!"
Losing control is not a good thing. It's not acceptable for Lena, so you can imagine her shock when she realizes she has no control at all to what happens in her home anymore. An open milk over the kitchen table, flour and egg shells on the table, the floor. And, let's not start talking about the mess around the coffee machine because Kara's pancakes mix is all over the place and Lena is this close to have a massive migraine because she doesn't have the time to clean and make her coffee.
Deep breaths, counting till 10... What should she do to not snap? Her spotless kitchen is a complete mess. And with such a view Lena realises that her mornings are far to be what they used to be. Those quiet, calm mornings where it was just Lena & her coffee are gone. Now, this is her new reality. Can she really make it work? Lena is wondering if she will be able to endure the challenge. So lost in her thoughts that she completely unnotices the blonde who's serving pancakes on a plate for her.
"Lena, you're up! Here, I made them! ME! And, they're eatable!"
The blonde is so proud of herself. It's not a secret she has zero skills in the kitchen, so, even if the pancakes look like a cooked stain, without a real shape of a circle, they're perfect in the eyes of Kara because she made them, thinking of Clark, she made them with love. And, she was really hoping that Lena could see that, but, the dear CEO was more worried about the look of her kitchen than the fact that Kara made pancakes for them.
"Lena, I..."
The CEO huffs and walks away, leaving the place without saying a word.
"I made pancakes..."
Kara sadly mumbles to herself because Lena doesn't take the time to even hear her. The CEO leaves and Kara looks at the plate of pancakes with a sad face, the joy of making them is gone.
It's so easy to hurt people without putting a finger on them. And sometimes we hurt others without willing it. Lena has no intentions to hurt Kara's feelings, but, her cold attitude and indifference hurt the blonde more than what she could imagine.
A new routine settles between them, and, somehow, Lena finds herself always cleaning Kara's mess. It's not like Kara doesn't clean, she is willing to do it, but each time she does it, it's never the right way according to Lena. The dear CEO is a compulsive clean freak if you ask Kara. And an effervescent vexation is building on the house because they are not able to properly communicate.
The situation gets to its climax when one day, Lena finds herself in the tabloids under the news she has a pregnant girlfriend. A photo of her & Kara with bags of groceries makes a huge buzz. Her phone doesn't stop ringing, and before knowing it, Lena finds herself in front of lots of people, asking for answers.
Who's the blonde? Kara. Is she ready to explain to the world who's Kara for her? Absolutely NO! Because she really has no idea how to answer that question even for herself. And, what about Kara's belly? Is she ready to talk about it? Because right now everyone is making the same question: It's her baby? It's Lena's baby? Technically, it's. She donated part of her DNA to make the baby. So, it's hers, hers! Lena's mind goes blank under such thought because becoming a parent wasn't part of the plan, it was never part of the plan. Refusing to face the situation and deal with all the people around her, Lena goes home. She locks herself in her safe place and tries to calm her nerves with the help of her oldest friend...
"What would I do without you?"
Lena says as she looks at her bottle of whiskey. The seductive, amber liquid it's what the dear CEO craves more than anything right now because it turns down the volume of her thoughts, of her fears. Drink after drink, the whiskey steadies her and Lena lets herself dwell in the moment of just drink rather than think.
Entranced in the golden glow of her glass of whiskey on the rocks, it's how Kara encounters Lena.
"Lena...? Lena, are you okay?"
Kara was taking a nap when Lena came home. The CEO never arrives, so early, that's why the blonde wonders why Lena is at home at this hour. She wants to help, she wants to talk, but right now all Lena wants it's to drink.
Wrapping her fingers around the glass, feeling the keen burn on her tongue when the elixir gets into her mouth. Lena is trying to leach into the drink when once again, Kara tries to reach her with words. The CEO wants to ignore the voice, she wants to pretend she's alone. But, Kara's voice is like a buzz that Lena cannot get rid of. And, it's annoying...
"Lena..."
"Leave me alone..."
Kara gulps hard, she's scared when she hears the cold, empty tone of the CEO. She should walk away, that might be the best, but, when she sees Lena standing up to open a new bottle, she refuses to walk away. Alcohol is not the answer to anything and if Lena can't see it, Kara is willing to do something about it, but the blonde wasn't prepared to see Lena snap.
The effervescent vexation finally gets to its limit when Kara tries to put away the bottle of whiskey from Lena's hands. Like a volcanic eruption, Lena loses her temper and into an act of rage, Lena smashes the bottle against the wall.
"LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I..."
Lena's anger soothes when she sees Kara, frozen in fear. Fear, so much fear is reflected in those beautiful blue eyes because the sounds of broken glass, the smell of liquor, it brings back old memories for the blonde. Those dark days with her drunk father, throwing bottles against her & her mother, those days were supposed to be over but maybe they're not over...
"Kara...? Kara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I..."
The dear CEO tries to erase the fear from Kara's eyes with words, but Kara is not listening a word of what Lena's saying. Old fears run through her head, bad memories come back to life, cutting loose the chains of the monster that Kara fears the most, a monster that it doesn't look like her father anymore, now it takes the shape of the woman who's standing in front of her. Kara can't deal with another monster, the monster cannot come back to life, that's what Kara says to herself when she gets ready to run away and never come back.
"I'm not dealing with this again!"
"What? Again? What do you mean? I... Kara! Wait!"
The blonde tries to leave without turning back, Lena knows she scared her, but she ignores at what point she did it till she sees the blonde running to the door like if her life was depending on it. Now, it's Lena, the one who fears the worst. Tumble into the abyss of fear is nothing new for them, they are familiar with the feeling, they know it too well. But, running away from it, it's not the answer, and, that's why Lena goes after Kara, trying to understand the fear she saw in her eyes.
"Let me go!"
Kara yells when Lena holds the knot of the door, the blonde is shaking, trying to pull away her hand, but because of the fear she lost all her strength.
"Lena, let me go!"
"No! Let's talk about this first!"
Kara laughs at Lena's words. She finds it ironic how now Lena wants to talk now, when she was the 1st to refuse to talk at all.
"You want me to leave you alone, so, let me go!"
"No!"
The dear Luthor fears that if she lets her go now, she will never see her again. And, she cannot let that happen. Lena is not ready to see Kara, walking away from her life just like that, so like a broken record, she doesn't stop saying how sorry she's. Kara doesn't want to hear it, she has heard it before, the empty promises, the empty apologies, she's not willing to listen, all she wants it's to run away from there as soon as possible, but...
"Auch!"
"Kara? What is wrong?! Kara!"
The blonde curls in pain, her hands hug her belly and somehow other fears invade their minds.
"KARA!"
Lena, saying her name it's the last thing that Kara remembers before everything becomes black. She doesn't know how long time has passed, but, when Kara opens her eyes again, it's already dark. She's trying to figure out how she ended up in her bed when she hears the constant prayers of someone who's strongly holding her hand.
Turning her head, Kara looks surprised when she notices Lena knelt beside her bed, holding Kara's hand between her hands as she pray for her well-being. Kara gulps hard when she sees the tears and anguish settle on Lena's face. A doctor came to check on her, he said it wasn't nothing major to worry, but, Lena was out of herself, she was terrified to Death! And, nothing could calm down her worries besides hearing the sweet voice of...
"Kara!"
"Hi..."
The blonde is awake, and Lena bursts into tears again, sobbing how sorry she's. The fear that Kara felt a moment ago is no longer there when she sees the tears of the dear Luthor, somehow, Kara doesn't want to run away again, she just wants to hug Lena and calm down her worries.
"It's okay. I'm okay. The baby is okay..."
Lena continues crying under the embrace. And, it's till there are no longer tears to share when they can finally have a real talk.
"I didn't know your father was an alcoholic"
Kara shrugs, she doesn't want to make a big deal about it, but, it's a big deal, it explains why she looked so scared when she saw Lena intoxicated with alcohol.
"My father was a good man. But, he was also a monster who used to throw us things to me and my mom. When you smashed the bottle of whiskey against the wall, it brought back old memories. Dark days I thought I had left behind..."
Lena gulps hard, she's angry with herself for opening old wounds in Kara. She cannot do anything to erase those bad moments. But, she can do something to make sure it never happens again.
"Lena...?"
The dear CEO walks away in silence, Kara frowns, not sure what is coming on. The blonde follows her and gulps hard when she sees Lena pulling out all her liquor. Bottles of champagne, of wine, of whiskey. Expensive bottles are put together close to the sink of the kitchen.
"Lena, what are you doing?"
Lena doesn't reply to the question of Kara, she just takes the first bottle she sees and holds the whiskey bottle between her hands, mapping the golden letters of the label of the liquor with her fingertips, the dear CEO deeply exhales as she prepares herself to say good-bye at her oldest friends...
"I've also faced my demons with this. But, I guess it's time to face my demons alone"
With a deep longing to not let go. Lena hesitates on pouring the bottle into the sink. She doesn't see herself as an alcoholic, but, it's not a lie, she relies on the liquor to not deal with her emotions. She doesn't think she's strong enough to deal with feelings without the support of her dear liquor. But, one gaze towards the pregnant blonde is enough to force her to open the bottle and pour the entire bottle into the sink.
Once the bottle is empty, Lena grabs another one and proceeds to do the same. Bottle after bottle, Lena is getting rid of all her liquor and Kara stays in silence, just watching with watery eyes.
How much would she have loved to see her biological father doing the same? Maybe her father didn't do it for her, but Lena is doing it now and the dear Luthor has no idea what big deal is for the blonde. Maybe that's why when Lena hesitates to dispose of the last bottle, Kara gets alongside her and softly puts her hand over hers, holding the bottle with determination when she says...
"You don't have to face your demons alone. We can do it together..."
A tiny smile appears on Lena when the dear CEO realizes she's not alone. For the first time in a long, long time, she's not alone. And, that gives her the necessary determination to empty her last bottle of liquor without regret. Kara smiles a lot when she sees all the empty bottles, her smile gets bigger when Lena softly squeezes her hand and tells her that she doesn't have to deal with her demons alone either.
From that moment, the racing vexation between them faded away because they finally understood the importance of real communication. It's not easy, Lena is the kind of person who always locks her feelings into tiny boxes inside herself while Kara is the kind of person who judges and decides what is best for others before really considering the others' position. Both girls have a lot to learn in terms of communication. But, it's a work in progress they're willing to work on. And, communication it's not the only thing that will change in the house...
"Hmmm... pancakes..."
When the sweet smell gets into her nose, Kara believes she's still dreaming, but...
"Kara... Kara, wake up..."
The sweet smell, a sweet voice calling her name. It feels so familiar that for a second when Kara opens her eyes, she expects to see Clark, but it's not him who's holding a plate of pancakes. Lena gets shy when she sees a little of disappointment in Kara. It's not like if she's not happy to see Lena, it's just that she's confused about what she is doing...
"I... well... uhmmm... pancakes?"
Lena stammers, she has no idea of what to say. She has never made breakfast before for someone else. This is new for her, and scary because the last thing she wants to do, it's to give Kara a tummy ache. Doubting about her culinary skills, she tries to walk away with the pancakes, but before she could run away, Kara grabs the plate of pancakes and puts a big portion into her mouth.
They weren't the best she has eaten, but they were good, they were more than good because in each bite, Kara could feel the dedication that Lena puts on them. Lena made them for her, and that was enough to make her smile.
"Are they good?"
"The best!"
Lena smiles and chuckles with a little blush on her cheeks.
"I'll make you more"
Kara nods with a smile. And, from that day, the longing of eating Clark's pancakes appeased because now, it's the smell of Lena's pancakes what makes Kara wake up with a big smile.
What if people don't live forever? What if we find other persons to fill the hole of the presence of those they already left? The question of what these two girls will become and what they will do next is still there. The realisation that they have lots of things to face is real. They haven't figured out everything yet, but they know they cannot live forever in the memories of the past and the fear of what will come next. They need to face their demons together. For them, for the baby and maybe for the feeling which is slowly growing in their hearts.