Mae's POV
I look up from the kitchen sink as Pa comes in, stomping his work boots out on the mat.
"Pa." He grins up at me, the wrinkles on his forehead from the stress of the day melting away as he sees me.
He pulls me into his arms, dirtying up the front of my apron with his dusty work clothes. He shouldn't be out working, but he's stubborn as a bull mother says.
"My Mae. How was your day my beautiful daughter?" He surveys the kitchen behind me, seeing if dinner is on the table already, his mind already on food after a long day.
"It was good, Pa. Me and Ma tended to the garden this morning, our poor tomato bushes are being fried... Perhaps one of the ranch hands could make a small shade for our plants? Our garden would be much more fruitful without the sun beating down on it..."
Father ignores me. I can't tell if it's purposeful, or if he's just thinking. He nods after a minute, settling himself at the table.
He disrupts the set table, unfolding his napkin to go across his lap.
"I'll look into it, my daughter. We had to lay off another ranch hand today... Gerard... you've met him once or twice when he's come by the house to check up, or ask about something."
I remain silent for a moment, pausing as I pull out the chicken from the oven.
Pa is tired and hungry and I feel bad having made him wait for food even this long and it's only been a minute.
"Are things really bad, Papa?"
"No, of course not. We just made a large investment with the new cattle, so we have to make cuts elsewhere. Now, you know better than to ask about money and such.
"It's not something you need to concern yourself with, Mae. You be a beautiful, intelligent, obedient submissive and your dominant will provide."
I nod, bowing my head at his scolding. "I'm sorry, Papa," I apologize softly.
I should have known he wouldn't speak to me at all about money or the ranch, but I can't help but worry.
Papa is not in good health and with Ames and Angus gone, Ma and myself would have to carry everything which falls on Papa if something were to happen.
"Oh, Mae." Pa stands, his chair scratching against the old wooden floors. He lifts my chin and pecks my head. "Forgive me, daughter. I forget how seriously you take my scoldings. I just don't like you stressing, that's all. All is well."
"Yes, Papa." He smiles warmly and kisses my
head again, hobbling to sit down. "Papa, did you take your medicine this morning?"
Ma usually administers his morning pills, leaving me to nag at him to take his evening supplements and administer his injections as needed. Mama tried her hardest to take care of Papa, but she just can't handle it.
It's hard for her to watch as he slowly fades away, loosing weight and color despite our efforts. It's hard for me too, but I have to put on a brave face for Mama, as the impending loss of Papa is too hard for her to handle most days.
"She hid my work boots this morning, the woman. Wouldn't tell me where they were until I had taken all my pills... It would be a good thing to be a wife like that, Mae. Your mother is every bit as cunning as she is beautiful. She is a great asset to me, not just an ornament."
I nod my understanding and Pa relaxes, looking around the kitchen.
"Where is your Ma, Mae?"
I blush, looking away from him. I know very well the consequences for her not waiting at the door to greet him when he comes back from working on the ranch. I don't think I'll ever grow out of my discomfort of thinking about Pa disciplining Mama.
"Oh, Mae, my daughter. Run and fetch your mother for dinner." I immediately stand, running up the stairs to find Mama.
The bathroom light is on and I enter to let her know Papa has returned. I come to a halt, seeing the dozens of bottles of Papa's medication she is organizing.
My mood dampens considerably, the ever looming cloud in our house becoming very persistent as I take in the exuberant amount of medication which is simply keeping Papa alive a little longer.
The doctors said he had a month, that was two months ago.
Everyday with Papa is a blessing which we do not disregard in this house, but it never overwhelms the deep sadness which prevails when we are reminded of his immanent and impending death.
"Papa is home," I choke out, refusing to say more in fear of not being able to keep my emotions at bay.
Mama turns, seeming surprised he has returned so soon. I expect to see some sort of apprehension because of her impending punishment, but she doesn't display anything of the sort.
I suppose punishment or not, she'll take anything if it means being around him.
"You set the table, Mae? Did you serve him dinner?" Ma questions, more concerned about Papa having dinner on the table and waiting than the mountain of pill bottles.
"I set the table, but I just pulled out the food before you came." Ma nods, rushing ahead of me to greet Papa.
In these last two months so much has changed. Papa has never been heavy handed with either of us, being a gentle soul despite his strict implementation of rules and restrictions for me and Mama, in theses last two months though, Papa has not done much more than gently scolded me and Mama.
Dinner wasn't on the table waiting for him today and he didn't say or do a single thing.
I hadn't expected a belting by any means, but I thought he may have reminded me that having dinner waiting for him was a sign of respect and gratitude for the long day at work he spent on the ranch to provide for us.
"My sweet wife." Mama incurs no scolding for not being there to greet him at the door, being fully accepted into his arms to be hugged and kissed hello.
I quickly place the rest of the food on the table, filling up Papa's glass, seeing it is low.
"Enough, enough fussing you women. Sit down and eat with me," Papa exclaims happily, tired of my fussing around the kitchen and Mama's smothering.
Papa serves me and Mama our plates and we thank him for the meal, waiting for permission to start eating.
Papa has us report to him about our day, telling him of what we have accomplished around the house.
"Mae is becoming quite a masterful seamstress. Her needle work is coming along very good as well," Mama reports to Pa, very happy to be bragging about me to him.
"Mama," I protest quietly and Papa chuckles.
"My Mae, always so humble. You didn't tell me you've been working on your sewing and needle work. What have you been sewing?"
"Oh just some scraps... I—I was hoping for my birthday you might give me the allowance for some fabric for a new dress... I know I don't need it and I know how you feel about asking for things we don't need, but I was thinking—"
"Mae, my daughter. When have I ever denied you a birthday wish? When you and Ma go into town, I'll make sure to add enough allowance for you to purchase your fabric."
I smile, my shoulders sagging in slight relief. I knew he wouldn't be angry for me asking, but as selfish and wasteful as it may be, I've been wishing for a new dress for months.
"Thank you, Papa," I breath out.
He smiles and nods, his lips turning down slightly. "You must not be afraid to ask your dominants such things either, yes... You'll make a good wife, Mae."
I swallow down the knot in my throat, nodding.
Papa has always lectured me about the ways my husband should treat me and the way I should treat my husband and dominant, but his words have much more meaning knowing these are the words of his final chapter.
I try not to think much anymore because my mind often drifts off to Papa or day dreams about my future dominant. Both are not happy thoughts and are quite overwhelming actually.
I always thought Papa would be the one to hand me over to my dominant at my collaring ceremony. I thought it would be his signature that would give me to my husband, not that of a stranger.
Perhaps Angus will come back to take care of me and Mama. He hasn't written or called in over five years, but perhaps he will see that me and Mama need him desperately when Papa passes. Maybe he will put aside what happened and forgive me and Mama.
Papa would never leave the ranch to Mama or I, very firm in his belief that submissives should not own property or handle money. Ames passed on what seems like many years ago, leaving Angus as the only heir.
Things wouldn't be so bad save the poor terms Angus left on. As if Ames' death wasn't enough to tear me and Mama to shreds, Angus and Papa's fight made things worse.
Angus would kick me and Mama to the streets with nothing but the clothing on our backs without a single ounce of remorse. He would leave us to beg rather than take us in and provide the way Papa did for me and Mama.
Drugs, the devils substance as Mama puts it, have probably torn Angus to nothing but hatred and greed at this point.
When he left many years ago after Papa caught him stealing the allowance me and Mama received for buying food for the week, Angus was already overrun.
I don't know what I will do for work when the house is taken away and me and Mama are locked out, but I know Me and Mama don't have much of a choice.
I could get collared... hope my dominant will feed and clothe me, beg for him to take in Mama too, but the odds of that happening are slim. I'd much rather live in poverty with Mama, begging for scraps, than leave Mama to fend for herself.
It would upset Papa for me to work at all, but there aren't any other options.
"Mae?"
I snap out of my thoughts, looking between my parents in silent question.
"You've barely eaten, Mae. Are you alright?" Papa questions, his concerned expression spreading.
"Oh, yes. Yes, I'm alright. Thank you for dinner, Papa." He nods, seeming to be unsure about my behavior. I plaster a sweet smile on my face, pretending everything is fine.
I focus on my warm meal, savoring it encase it's the last for a long time.