"it's just a scene and there's nothing more to it."
—f to s
♕
an actor's job is simple. all they need to do is throw some emotion in their voice, make a couple of dramatic facials that paired with their words, and move around as if they knew what they were doing. at least, that's what s always thought. he thought that acting was shallow and basic and anyone could pretend to be a character. it was just lying, right? so he didn't get why his boyfriend was always making such a big fuss about it.
v loved performing and lived to entertain. he enjoyed being under the hot stage lights, hearing his voice echo throughout the theatre, and the applause as he bowed. he took acting very seriously, which s never understood, but he was fine with that and never forced his beloved to go to his shows or care about his rehearsals. v was fine with it because he knew that no matter how dumb s thought it was, he knew that he would still support him.
so he didn't understand why they were arguing now.
"i just don't feel comfortable with you being in this show," s said, arms crossed and leaning on their bedroom doorframe.
"you've never had an issue with my shows before," the actor huffed. he had just come from a long day of rehearsal and now s, who had just come back from working at the local elementary school was looking at him with an unreadable expression. "what's wrong?"
"i saw a promo for your show on a flyer at the bus stop," s sighed. "i didn't know you were the lead in-"
"but isn't that great i finally got a g-"
"-a romance play."
"oh," his boyfriend mumbled. "i didn't think you'd care." he moved to the edge of the bed. "i've had romantic parts before, ya know."
"i know and i'm sorry for making a fuss about it, but this time is different," s said. "i looked up the plot and you have a sex scene with a girl?"
"well, it's obviously fake," v laughed but s wasn't as amused. "and to clarify it's not a sex scene, more it just leads to an implied sex scene. so we're not even naked and the lights go down before anything scandalous happens. we just make out a bit and get close and make some noises. it's just acting on a stage." the last sentence was what s tried to focus on. he knew that it was just acting and even though he had never seen v perform, he knew his partner was incredible at what he loved. but he couldn't help being jealous, especially since the scene was with a female.
v was bisexual, but s was the first man he had ever dated or been with, and this had always made s a little more insecure than he'd care to admit. "i get that... it's just..." s was embarrassed by his low self-esteem. he didn't want to say how pretty the actress was and how he was afraid she would take v away from him.
"babe, tell me how you feel. i don't want you to have to hold back your feelings from me," v said reassuringly, getting up and squeezing his partner's hands.
"i'm scared," s confessed. "i don't like knowing that you're going to be having such an... intimate moment with a girl."
v smiled. "aw, you're jealous," he cooed, loving how adorable his boyfriend was as he pouted at him. "babe, you don't need to worry about it. she's really sweet and we're good friends. we've done a couple of shows together in the past. you could meet her if that would make you feel better," v suggested.
"i like that idea," s nodded. he didn't want to let his problems stop v from getting his lead role.
"awesome," v grinned. he kissed the top of his boyfriend's head, making the other blush. "i'll talk to her and you can meet her after our rehearsal tomorrow. her name's f and she's really talented. you'll like her."
"okay," s said. he wasn't sure if he would get along with the woman who would be having a fake sex scene with his lover, but he supposed he could try. he wrapped his arms around the other and they went to cuddle on their shared bed, legs intertwined, s's head on v's chest.
the next day v was grabbing his things as his costar approached him. f walked over with a smile, carrying her bag over her shoulder.
"hey, you said you wanted to talk?" she asked. v nodded.
"yeah, thanks. so you know my boyfriend?" he nervously said.
f chuckled. "of course. s, right? you talk about him all the time. how could i not?" v turned a little pink, not realizing how often he fawned over his partner.
"yeah, well, he heard about the show and was feeling a little uneasy when he found out about our scene," the young man explained.
"oh, the one where we're almost naked, make out on the tiny sofa on stage, and have to moan embarrassingly loud?" she nonchalantly questioned.
"yeah, that one," v laughed. he liked how casual f was about it. even though they had practiced the scene so many times, she never made it awkward for him and respected his boundaries. he knew he could trust her and so could s. "my boyfriend just wanted to meet you so he knew what kind of person you were. it won't take long, just a quick hi so he can see that you're cool."
"i understand, i would do the same in his position," she said with a nod. v was grateful for this and the pair sat and talked as they waited for s to come.
"hey baby," s said, walking in and seeing the two actors. they both got up to greet him. s kissed v on the cheek and snaked an arm around his waist, being a little too obvious about how possessive he could be. f was amused by this and could tell how much the two loved each other.
"i'm f," she introduced herself. the two shook hands and v was pleased by the civil interaction. "i'm v's costar and i just wanted to let you know that there's nothing to worry about. it's just a scene and there's nothing more to it." s nodded, appreciating how upfront the young woman was being.
"thank you," he said. "i feel a little better now." v pulled s closer and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"of course," f grinned. "i wouldn't want either of you to feel uncomfortable." her words eased s's mind, but he still had doubts and v could tell.
"hey f, do you wanna get dinner with us? you don't have to, but it would be nice. we can just hang out," v said to the other two's surprise.
"yeah, that sounds fun as long as you guys are cool with it," she responded, looking at s who nodded, not hating the idea. it would be easier for him if he knew f better and could trust her.
the three climbed into s's car and went to a small, retro-style diner. they had a lovely meal and all got along well. f was glad she got to meet her costar's boyfriend that he so often talked about. v was very sweet to her and she found it reassuring that his partner treated him so well. seeing the happy couple made it easier for her to push down her own feelings.
because yes, f was infatuated with the male she swore she didn't have feelings for, and yes, she felt awful for it. she had always tried to separate her love life from her work life, but being around v so often and kissing and touching him made it impossible for her not to feel some way towards him. he was so wonderful and she had fallen for him before she even knew it. but it was because she loved him that she wouldn't say anything about the pain in her heart every time she watched v kiss s. she knew that v was happy with his relationship and she would never do anything to tear that joy away from him.
so she smiled and joked around with the couple and masked her emotions well. the two had no idea that f had any inkling of love towards one of them and she would make sure it stayed that way. she was an actress after all.
it was the right thing to do.
so as opening night approached, f and v continued to work hard and s would pick his boyfriend up sometimes and chat with the young woman. they realized that they had similar tastes in music and tv shows, which made it easy for them to get along and become friends. f thought that befriending s and seeing the couple together all the time would get rid of her feelings for v. but over time, her feelings only grew stronger. her heart still raced each time she had a scene with v on stage and she only felt guiltier about it knowing how amazing s was.
eventually, their first performance night came around and v had never been more excited. s was finally coming to one of his performances, which was an odd choice considering the type of play it was, but v was thrilled nonetheless.
"you seem enthusiastic," f teased, applying her makeup. v nodded.
"yeah, s is going to be here to watch the show. he's never done that before. i'm kind of nervous," he admitted.
"don't worry about it," the female comforted him. "you're incredible and he'll think the same when he sees you out here." she put away her brushes and got up. f looked ethereal in her flowy dress and v couldn't help but compliment her like he did every dress rehearsal. and as usual, she had to hide a blush and compliment him back. the sight of v in a white shirt with too many buttons undone and tight pants affected f in a way she didn't want to admit.
"thank you. break a leg out there," v cheered as f got ready to go on stage. her monologue was the beginning of the show. he reached out to give her hand a small squeeze, and f hesitantly returned the gesture.
"you too," she told him before leaving the dressing room. as she went to the wings of the stage she could hear the audience clamoring behind the curtain. f was never the type to have stage fright, but this performance was different for her. soon the lights of the theatre went down and she could hear the boom of the stage lights turning on. she took a deep breath and got into her place. soon the thick red curtains lifted up and right before the light blinded her vision of the audience, she saw s his seat making her swallow thickly.
the audience was in awe as they watched f deliver her monologue. s had never seen the young woman act before and was mesmerized by her stage presence and the emotions in her lines. she had an energy that would catch anyone's attention and leave them absolutely captivated.
"is v this amazing too?" he thought. his boyfriend didn't appear until the next scene and he was a little flustered by how handsome he looked on stage. he stared as v approached f, his boyfriend's eyes filled with compassion. he felt another twinge in his heart, but he pushed it aside knowing that it was just a show.
however, there were moments when he almost forgot it was all just a performance as he became enthralled in the play. everything the actors did was so meticulous and his emotions stirred as the show progressed. s realized that his thoughts on acting were very, very wrong. it was more than saying lines and making faces. it was about embracing the character and diving into their mindset, creating an entirely new persona to entertain the audience with.
he almost hated how talented his boyfriend was. v was doing such a great job of acting infatuated with f and f was doing the same. their chemistry was off the charts and they looked like such a good couple. s wondered if he looked as good as f did at v's side.
"it's just a play. they're only acting," he reminded himself, but then the scene he was dreading finally came on. v had told s that he could leave during the scene if he didn't want to watch it, but s couldn't pry his eyes off of the fake couple. he watched as the two kneeled on the bed, their chests touching and v running his hands through f's hair. the actor pulled her into a deep kiss and s could feel his heart drop. f tugged at v's shirt, bringing him even closer as their lips continued to move in sync. it was theatre, so of course, they had to sensually moan and release sounds that made the audience blush.
"i need you," v's character growled, beginning to trail kisses down f's neck. s gulped. the only thing that was making him feel better was knowing that v said those words more passionately to him in bed than to f on stage. the female groaned in pleasure as the male's mouth pressed against her skin. "you're so beautiful," his character said, tilting his head away so his words would carry throughout the theatre.
"i love you," f's character stated and v could feel something a little different in the way she delivered the line. "i love you so much," she continued as she stripped off her dress. in the script, v's character was supposed to take off her dress, but they changed it since it made him a little uncomfortable. v continued to kiss the girl's bare skin, being incredibly careful not to leave marks as they still had three more performances after this one. now he was supposed to change their position so that f's back would be against the bed and he would be hovering over her, his arms caging her in.
"i love you too," v's character said before performing the action from the script.
as v looked down at the girl, something he had done so many other times for this exact moment, he noticed a tear falling from one of her eyes. but f continued the scene, unbuttoning the rest of v's shirt and throwing it aside. her acting didn't seem any different, so the male figured that he had just seen wrong. because why would f cry during this intimate scene?
the young woman wrapped her hands around v's neck and pulled him down into a long kiss, tongues dancing together. her fingers trailed down his torso before hooking onto his belt loops. the male responded by quickly unbuttoning his pants and kicking them off. they were both only in their underwear at this point and s could feel his heart tighten.
"it's almost over," he told himself. the faux couple's legs intertwined as they continued to lock lips, and stray hands roamed over each other's bodies. f's fingers went to the other's hair and she pulled at the locks, deepening the kiss even more if that was possible. the male let out a loud groan from the action, parting away from f's lips. they gazed into each other's eyes and met for one last long kiss before the lights went down, letting the audience assume what happened next.
s finally let out a sigh of relief as the two's bodies separated in the dark and the crew changed the furniture for the next scene. he wasn't sure how much more his heart could take from watching the two. the play continued and there was only one other makeout scene and one last kiss before the show ended. as the lights went up, s began to clap.
actors staggered their appearances on stage, taking their bows. people would stand up and cheer loudly for all of the actors, but no applause was louder than the one for v and f. they held hands and did their bow together, and s got up from his seat and yelled enthusiastic words towards them. v noticed him in the audience and beamed. f tried her best not to look at him and wore the bright smile that she always put on for the audience.
the stage cleared and the cast went around so that they could greet the audience before changing out of their costumes. as expected, v and f were immediately surrounded. people of all ages complimented their performance and some asked for photos with the two. girls fawned over v, telling him how talented and wonderful he was and the male tried his best to avoid their touches. f saw this and thanked the females, distracting them so v could search for his boyfriend.
s found v and immediately brought him into a tight embrace and kissed him. the actor was surprised by his usually shy partner's sudden affection, but welcomed it. "you were amazing, baby. i'm so sorry for not coming to more of your performances," he apologized. he thought about all of the other incredible shows his boyfriend must have put on in the past and regretted not going to them.
"it's fine. thank you so much for coming, babe," v grinned, excited that s was finally finding an interest in his job. "did you like the show?" he nervously asked.
s gulped. the first thing to come to mind was the image of his boyfriend's lips on f's. he rubbed his head to clear his mind of it and focused on the non-intimate scenes. "i loved it," he said, making v even happier.
"so, you'd come see me again tomorrow?" v asked, batting his eyelashes in the cute way he did when he wanted something.
"don't push it," s scoffed. "i love you, but i don't think i can watch that whole thing again." v understood this. he was glad that s had come to any of the performances at all. and he knew that the scenes he had with f were a lot to take in, so he didn't push the topic.
f was finally freed from taking pictures and went over to her fellow lead and his boyfriend. she smiled at s, and the male nervously smiled back. he was obviously a little uncomfortable after watching what she just did with v.
"that was your best performance," the female said, looking at v. the actor grinned and gave her a warm hug.
"thank you," he told her. he suddenly remembered the odd feeling he got during the show. "by the way, are you okay? you seemed a little out of it during the end." he whispered, concerned.
"yeah. i'm great!" f said, putting on a happy expression to convince him. she wasn't going to say how his acting today was so emotional and perfect that he made her feel loved in a way she never had before. she wasn't going to tell him how badly she wished that they weren't just lines coming from his lips. she wasn't going to cry about how much it hurt when he said that he loved her and how she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from breaking down. she didn't do any of these things because she knew they weren't the right thing to do.
f could never let v know how she felt and she wasn't sure if she could get through three more nights of doing the show with him, but she had to. because f was a professional, and first most, an actress. so she played her role of being a supportive friend to the couple. she saw how uneasy s seemed and pulled him into a hug to his surprise.
"thank you for coming to the show. i know it must not have been fun seeing our scene, but i just want you to remember that v loves you a lot and we were both just playing roles, nothing more," she said softly. s nodded and squeezed the actress back. he needed those words at the moment and truly believed that f was right. v did love him and he loved v and that's all that mattered.
no fake love scene was going to change that.
v pulled his boyfriend back to his side and f watched them. she held her breath as she told herself again how badly she needed to let go. the longer she held onto her love, the more she was going to get hurt. so the female left the couple alone and went to change into her regular clothes before heading home.
the next two performances went smoothly. each time v went on stage he outdid himself and f felt herself fall more in love each time. v thought that things were going great and he was happy with where he was in life. he had an adoring and supportive boyfriend, a job he loved, and great friends like f by his side. his own happiness clouded his mind and he couldn't see how much f was struggling internally, but how could he? she was doing such a great job of hiding it.
well, at least she had been until closing night.
f found herself, once again pinned under v's body, and this time she couldn't stop herself from thinking about how far she had fallen for the male as she looked into his beautiful eyes. she couldn't stop thinking about how this would be the last moment where v would ever feel like hers. because as soon as the show ended and they both walked off stage, he would go back to another's arms and she would be all alone again.
his character told her how much he loved her and v knew that he wasn't seeing things this time. the audience couldn't tell, but the actor noticed the tears falling down f's cheeks as she looked up at him with glossy eyes. f didn't even know she was crying.
this had never happened before and he was tempted to break character and get off of her, but before he could do so, f pulled him into the scripted kiss. v could feel the hot tears from her face on his cheeks and her arms pulled him into her with a little more strength than usual. she used her tongue to deepen the kiss, something she had never done before. v was surprised but tried to go with it, thinking that f must have some good reason for doing this. they continued to passionately make out and when they finally broke apart, they were both panting.
for a moment, the auditorium was filled with nothing, but their ragged breaths, and v couldn't read the expression on f's face. both went silent, just eyes staring into eyes as f just realized what she had done and v's mind was too confused to continue the scene. eventually, the stage manager cued the shocked cast to dim the lights.
"hey, f..." v whispered, realizing that the female had still not let him go. she swallowed thickly and used all of her willpower to remove her arms from around his neck.
"i'm so sorry," f said in the softest voice. she quickly wiped the tears off her cheeks, knowing she had ruined her mascara and foundation. v barely caught her words. he wanted to say something else, but she got up from under him and walked off stage as if nothing had happened.
he hesitantly did the same.
the show continued and every scene the two shared after that had an unfamiliar bit of tension in the air. every time that v would try to talk to his friend backstage she would go off in the opposite direction. when it finally came time for final bows they did as they always did and intertwined their fingers as they bowed to the audience. however, as the audience whooped and cheered for the two, f said something to her costar without turning to him.
"i love you, v."
but v didn't hear it as the applause filled his ears. he saw f's lips move and after the whole cast bowed together he asked her if she had said something, but she shook her head.
"it was nothing," she told him. they went out and took photos with audience members as they usually did, and all of the cast congratulated each other on a job well done. after changing out of her costume, f approached v who was packed and ready to leave. "are you going to the cast party?" f asked.
"no, i think i'm going to spend the evening at home with s," he said with a smile. v wanted to ask her about what happened on stage and ask why she changed the kiss, but there was something unreadable about f's expression that prevented him from doing so. "hey, are you okay?" he questioned, reaching his hand out to rub her shoulder.
"of course, v," she giggled, moving his hand away. "i think i'm going to go to the party. i need a drink after all this," f joked and the male chuckled before agreeing.
"this show was really fun with you, f," he said grinning. "i don't know if i would've been able to do that sex scene comfortably with anyone else," v laughed.
"oh, really?" the young woman said in a teasing manner. "i'm glad. it's been really great time with you as well, v."
"stay in touch?" v requested. "let me know what you work on next and i'll do the same. we can help each other out and hopefully, we can perform together again." f nodded at the idea.
"that sounds good. i'll keep in contact." the male cheekily smiled and held out a pinkie. f chucked at this.
"you promise?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. f sighed and linked her finger with his.
"i promise," she said. v was pleased with this and wished her a good night. he left first and f watched as he walked out the door. she smiled bitterly as the door closed behind him and his footsteps faded. she was alone again.
"i'm sorry, v. i can't keep that promise. being near you hurts too much."
v never saw f again after that night.
he only heard from the actress once more and it was through a voicemail from her saying that she was leaving to pursue a big job, somewhere in the city. the next time he and s saw her face was two years later on a bright screen in times square.
she had gotten cast as the lead in a broadway show and looked absolutely incredible. v was so incredibly proud of his former castmate. he never understood why f broke their promise and was hurt for a while by her actions, but he got over it and knew that f probably had her reasons.
he and s went to see her on her opening night in new york city and the couple cheered like no one else when she did her bow. f recognized v's voice among the crowd, even after all this time, and smiled. she had achieved her dream and she was glad the boy she would always love was there to see it.
"thank you, v!" she yelled into the roar of applause.
but just like two years ago, the young man couldn't make out her words.
the couple continued to support f's career while also working on their own. v was doing well as an actor too, not on broadway like f, but he was still successful. and s made sure to attend all of his boyfriend's shows. he and s got married and f was invited. she couldn't attend due to work, but she still wished the happy couple a lifetime of happiness and joy.
they all moved on with their lives and f remained single the rest of her life. the actress never regretted not telling v how she felt because she knew it was the right thing to do.
because he was happy.
and that's all she ever wanted.
♕