There's not much that I know about, I'm pretty rubbish at a lot of things; what I do know, though, is that when someone knocks on your door repeatedly until you answer it, and when you do they've got the biggest grin on their face that you've ever seen -- it's bound to be something absolutely wonderful. If that wasn't what Luke was hinting at then I don't think I know anything at all.
"Guess who's not going to feel guilty if they kiss someone right now?" Luke smirked, shutting my front door behind him and standing in front of me.
"A single Luke?" I felt his arms wrap around my neck, mine going around his waist. He was warm, which I was grateful for because I was currently freezing.
Pulling away, Luke looked down to me. "A single Luke, and a single Michelle -- who, by the way, shouldn't be," a small, ghost of a frown played at his lips as he finished.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Though I already had the idea.
"It means it sucks that I have to be a nice person and wait to make you not single," his face fell into a frown.
Legs falling over his lap on the living room couch, I was now feeling the warmth of his arms still wrapped around me and the rest of his body. "I'm sure you won't have to wait that long," I giggled.
"Two days is a lot," he pouted. I almost scoffed -- two days was nothing. Not that I was complaining.
"So you're only waiting two days? Not even two days and three hours?" I teased, poking at his arm.
Over dramatically, Luke whined, "Two days and three hours not being able to make out with you as your boyfriend might kill me."
"Eh, I'll take the chance," I rolled my eyes, scooting closer to him to let him know that it was joke.
"I won't," he grinned. Moving closer so his nose brushed against mine, his breath was felt against my skin, "but I'm still going to kiss you a lot for the next two days."
Our lips moved together, slowly but eagerly as we both smiled and laughed against each other. We could do this without any hesitation now; his hand ghosting over my cheek to pull me closer (as of that was possible) and my arms meeting behind his neck.
"So, that won't take any getting used to," Luke shook his head and pulled away with a laugh, then had a different kind of smile appear, "I want to go to the cliff."
"I'll make sure not to fall asleep this time," I joked, leaning my head into his neck. I felt him try and lean his head on mine the best he could.
"No, please do that again. It was adorable," a laugh vibrated through his chest.
"As long as you can actually include more The 1975 during this, I'm okay with it."
"I forgot about your love for that band," he looked at me with a sheepish smile, but kissed the top of my head in hopes of me not going sarcastic on him.
"I'm kind of offended." I reached my hand over my heart and scoff, but I think I ruined the act when I started giggling.
"There's a possibility I could make it up to you."
I hummed, "I wonder how."
I watched him simply shrug, "Wait two days." After moving me off his lap and standing up, Luke pulled me up with him, immediately grabbing my hand and smiling down at me in content. I did the same.
"I like the fact that I can be literally centimeters away from you and not feel attacked by the smell of cigarettes," I laughed at the words, which was quite stupid because it wasn't something to be so proud of someone for -- not smelling like they were going to die by the age of thirty, I'm sure that's a normal part of life for people. And it's not like he was one of those annoying chain smokers, Luke only told me he had anxiety issues and he was stressed out a lot, so whenever those became a lot to handle, his little 'escape from the real world,' as he put it before, was to smoke.
"To be honest with you, I had like, half of one a few days before this whole thing with Brooke was going to happen," his voice came out hesitant, hand still holding on to mine as we walked over to the usual dirty Jeep we took trips in.
I looked up at him, playing around with his fingers like he usually did with mine, "What?" I wasn't upset, honestly, I kind of understood. He only had half of one, and even if he had more than that, it's not my place to tell Luke how to live his life. I wasn't that type of person; do what you do and I'll do what I do.
"Brooke is stressful and I was nervous and kind of freaking out," he starts, "so I had one because you weren't around to be that distraction."
"I could've been, though." Not when he was dealing with it, but before and after. Luke has a problem with actually accepting help.
"I've told you before that I would be with you twenty-four-seven if I went to you when I was anxious and having problems." I remember that, but he of all people should know that I don't care.
"And you honestly think I would mind that?" My eyebrow rose, thinking back to the time when I told him that it was perfectly okay.
"Well, considering the fact that you haven't gotten annoyed with me yet, I'd like to keep it that way. And it's bound to happen if I'm bothering you with my life." It kind of made me upset to think that even after this, Luke still doubts what's going on. In no way was I ever going to become bothered by the company that he gives me, and not to mention the company he's given Grady through Ethan. Both of our families are practically thriving in the social department because of him.
Attempting to lift his mood a little, which was obviously faltering, I tried my best to keep a straight face as I offered, "If it happens, you can throw Grady's smelly socks at me."
"You hate feet, Michelle," he laughed. While he was scrolling through his phone before pulling out of the driveway, I made sure the volume wasn't going to cause us a heart attack or any form of ear injury when his music started playing.
"Exactly, so it would be equal enough punishment." A song started over the speakers, taking me more than a few seconds to figure out what was playing. Who knew Luke listened to 3OH!3. "My new reason to like you is the fact that you put songs from 2008 in your playlists that everyone else would be embarrassed by."
Out of the corner of his eye, Luke glances at me and then shrugged, "As long as you like me."
"This makes it actually feel like a summer road trip," I laughed. "Only those cliche teenagers with actual friends listen to songs from their awkward stage during a long car ride."
"We can make it one," Luke turned the volume down and offered, "maybe go to the place I wanted to show you after we stay at the cliff for a while."
I nodded, focusing on the song he decided to skip to. "So, you fixed your problem. I did, too," I smiled, quite proud that I did.
"You and Michael are okay?" He seemed happy about it, which made me happy because even when Luke knew that Michael hated (but not really, we know that now) him, he didn't really hate him back. I don't think Luke could genuinely ever hate anyone.
"I'm pretty sure, yeah," I told him, "so maybe now he can attempt to actually be your friend, kind of."
"I'm more than positive he probably still hates me, Michelle," Luke shook his head at me, denying the fact that Michael could actually forgive him for everything. Even he had a hard time doing that for himself.
"No, he told me. I promise," I reassured him. He nodded quickly, glancing at me and then focusing back on the road, where we were currently just avoiding a red light. I recognized some of the signs that we passed as Luke continued driving, mindlessly humming along to music. I'd only ever been here one time before with Luke but I was observant enough to notice that we were only about ten minutes away judging by the familiar vandalism every now and then.
I used to think you're cool and I believed you had a wonderful vision
"Didn't think you knew this song," I said, smirking a bit when he turned the volume up.
"Figured I would stop putting off checking out more than one song by my girlfriend's favorite band," Luke said.
"I thought I had to wait two days for the oh-so-important girlfriend title." Not that I was going to stop him from calling me it, I liked the feeling in my stomach when I heard it and the simultaneous squeeze of my hand he gave me when he said it. This felt nice.
"Future girlfriend," Luke said, but even through the correction he was smiling.
Fighting off a smile of my own, my head shook, "I mean, I didn't say I minded."
He bit down on his lip, fiddling with the ring around it, "I was going to keep doing it anyway."
† † † † † † †
I love the sound of waves. I love the colors of the sky when the sun is almost gone. I love both of those together, especially.
"Why do you always get so tired when I take you here?" I heard Luke chuckle, interrupting me from my deep thoughts and drooping eyes.
"It's relaxing, and that's the reason you keep coming back to it, so I figured I would, too." Sitting up a bit, I used my elbows as support. Luke was sat not too far away, and the reflection that the setting sun was giving off on his figure was truly unbelievable. He was just simply looking straight ahead, setting his elbows on his knees, which were brought to be level with his chest. But he did look fascinating, and I don't know if it was just the lack of sleep I'd been getting but I'm sure even a person with a normal sleep schedule would think the same thing.
"Come here," I caught him mumbling, grabbing my wrist lightly to scoot me over to him. "You know, you're the first girl that I think I've ever really liked. I was pretty desperate when I dated Brooke."
"Must've been beyond desperate," I mumbled with a smirk, not being completely serious but also, really, kind of meaning it. Just a little.
"Hey, I heard that!" My back, which was leaning against Luke's chest, had fallen back a bit at the loss of contact from Luke moving. He was looking down at me and trying to fight a laugh of his own, I let mine out willingly and he pouted.
I moved my head up to leave a kiss on his cheek. "I still like you," I half-whispered, even though there was no reason to.
"Good, because I like you a lot," Luke repeated my volume, but instead of kissing my cheek he stopped in front of my lips for a while. "Even though you refuse to stop picking your lip," he added once he'd pulled away, running his index finger over my bottom lip softly. It wasn't as bad as it had been, because the only thing I've been nervous about was the Michael thing, and final exams. Now that those were over and out of my way, the habit was slowly starting to disappear.
"I'd be with you twenty-four-seven if I came to you when I was feeling nervous," I mocked him, repeating what he'd told me before.
"Doesn't seem like you'd mind that much," he smirked.
"How do you do that?" I questioned, furrowing my eyebrows.
"What?"
"Act confident and then doubt everything about yourself." I'd noticed how often he seemed to do that, and I've never really seen anyone be both confident and unsure at the same time.
After thinking for a minute, Luke shook his head and looked straight ahead, "I don't know, it just happens."
Now that I thought about it, I had been denying the fact that I actually liked Luke, and even when I was telling him I didn't and we couldn't, I did things that completely went against that. So I wouldn't be surprised if I made him doubtful -- which he shouldn't be. "If it's my fault that you don't think I actually like you, I'm sorry," I sighed.
"No, no, it's not. I've always done it, it's no big deal really," he explained, and even though he tried to give a small smile to assure me, I didn't believe it. "I'll get over it soon."
"Why've you always done it?" Luke's arms moved over my shoulders as I asked him.
"I'm not exactly very appealing, I'm just as much of a dork as my brother, so it's kind of easy to assume things. I've always been the one to be more interested in whoever it was I was dating or whatever and even then, those people tried to tell me what you're trying to right now."
"Hey, Luke," I move to sit directly in front of him, so he's looking at me and not just the water, "it's not your fault other people haven't realized that even though you're a dork, you're a pretty great and cool one."
"How do you do that, then?" he questions, the same way I did to him.
"Do what?"
Before replying, Luke chewed at his lip, "Even when trying to help people you can't resist making it into something funny."
"Laughter is contagious, it's bound to make you feel better." I've always done this. Every time I tried to comfort anyone when I was younger, I always felt awkward and like I was just making the situation worse. As I got older, the fact that I was barely ever serious came in handy whenever I had to help people. Instead of feeling as if I made them feel even worse than they were, when I cracked some sort of joke or just started kidding around, I saw their smile or heard their laugh and it made me feel like I wasn't completely useless in the situation. At least I made them forget temporarily. You can never forget totally forget something, so I always reminded myself of that when comforting people, too, so I didn't try and get rid of the whole thing that was bothering them.
"It's a good thing you make me laugh a lot, then," he smiled softly down at me before both of us turned to look at the sky, which was still swirling with different colors of oranges and reds and sometimes pinks in between.
"That's actually kind of a sad statement," I could feel the frown settling on my lips. I leaned into Luke again,
"I know," he airily chuckled, "it wasn't meant to be, I swear."
Somehow I think it was.
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the book i'm focusing on after this is finished is up :-)) not that a lot of you care but ya know knowledge is power
such a filler it hurts but don't worry your lil hearts will be dead in a few chapters >:)
song; so far (it's alright) by the 1975