Mister Killer » taehyung

By may_bornmia

40.2K 2.7K 991

"What's the most bad-guy thing you've ever done?" "I once sold a bag full of oregano to a highschooler who t... More

Prologue
Chapter 2: Killer Is The Captive?
Chapter 3: Too Funny To Die
Chapter 4: Zayn Malik Is Hotter
Chapter 5: No Pizza?
Chapter 6: Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?
Chapter 7: Karate Chop
Chapter 8: High-Class Action
Chapter 9: "Jinnie told me that joke"
Chapter 10: Screwed Up
Chapter 11: Off To Narnia
Chapter 12: Cuddly Like A Panda
Chapter 13: Coconut Head Killer Croc
Chapter 14: Sister-zoned
Chapter 15: Elsa And Panda
Chapter 16: Blushy Baby
Chapter 17: The Swaggy Cat Is A Joke
Chapter 18: His Story
Chapter 19: Namjoon Is Emotional
Chapter 20: Caught In A Lie
Chapter 21: The Hunt For Kim Maera
Chapter 22: Wow, Fantastic Mae
Chapter 23: Who Gets To Flirt?
Chapter 24: Kiss Me Goodbye
Chapter 25: Mom's Son In Law
Chapter 26: Kidnapped Yet Again
Chapter 27: The Underworld Sensation
Chapter 28: A Ruined Climax
FINAL - Chapter 29: The Badass Villain Yeehaw
#Extra: Diapers
#Extra: Paranoia
#Extra: Candy Land

Chapter 1: The Fresh Omelette Guy

2.7K 146 127
By may_bornmia

"And... the meme is done!" I exclaimed, waking up my baby sister, who woke up with a start and started bawling her eyes out.

"Hush, Shin Chan," I started singing a lullaby to her in my high-pitched voice, and that apparently made her cry even more.

"Is my voice not sweet enough?" I pretended like crying and she stared at me, unamused. I made a poker face and said, "Okay, so are you gonna judge me too, now?"

She turned away from me and fell asleep.

"Okay, so I really am not respected," I muttered, pouting, and turned away to my computer again. I swear I'm gonna go blind with the amount of screen-time I give my eyes in my dark bedroom.

With the meme being done, I sent it to Ah Ra.

Me: (picture attached)

AhRaRaRa: OMG WTF

Me: I'm a genius

AhRaRaRa: .....yeah

Me: you don't believe me??

AhRaRaRa: I do, I do

Me: then let's get this smeared babyyyyyyyy

AhRaRaRa: don't call me baby. no homo, bro

Me: ugh fine imma upload it to Facebook

AhRaRaRa: oh, and yes, Junsoo's having a party at his house tomorrow night

Me: what for?

AhRaRaRa: idk, maybe his gf got new piercings or smth

Me: rich beach

With that, I was done with the world, and decided to just post up the meme on my account on Facebook, dedicated to memes: MemeGoddessIsAlive.

MemeGoddessIsAlive posted a picture: *picture attached*

Caption: I'M SO FAMOUS LIKE LOOK I'VE GOT FANS STALKING ME NOW

Well, I didn't wanna be a showoff, but at times, you need to flaunt the godly rays you emit because the world needs a god to regulate the deeds. Nope, I'm not Thanos.

*ThE nExT dAy*

"Oh my, look at those hot boys over there!" I pointed at a blurry image of a lean guy, nudging Ah Ra to look at the direction I was pointing.

"Dude, that's a tree you're pointing to," she sighed, "You're too drunk to be alive."

"Nooo, I just had a couple of shots..." I said, averting my eyes, even though everything I was looking at was blurry.

"How many times?" she sternly asked, and I knew for a fact that she didn't drink, especially in a party like the one we were in. People were loud and wild, and the guy - Junsoo - was missing, probably making out with his girlfriend in the bedrooms above.

"You're pretty like a fresh omelette!" came a manly shout from above, and I could distinguish the voice: it belonged to Junsoo himself.

Well, a suitable name for his high-pitched, annoying girlfriend, who truly resembled a table mat.

"You didn't answer my question yet," Ah Ra asked again, "How many round of shots did you take?"

"...ten."

"Are you serious?! You've gotta be kidding me!" she exclaimed, getting weird looks from the people around us, "How is that much of a capacity for alcohol available in you?"

"That's too much vocabulary for me right now," I yawned, and then joined the people dancing on the little stage that they had set up, and Ah Ra sighed and followed me onto the dance floor as well.

"Mae! Slow down!" she said as soon as she saw a man trying to seduce me, and knowing that Ah Ra was going to keep shouting until I became sober, I undid my sandal and began thrashing the guy with it.

"Wait! I just wanted to get laid!" the guy screamed, and I threw another round of sandal hits at him.

"Shut up! Imma hit-" I was about to say something, but then Blackpink's song Ddu Du Ddu Du came on, so my words got mixed up, and I ended up saying, "Imma hit you with that ddu ddu du!"

"What?" he made a face, and not knowing what else to do, I began hitting him again.

"Save me! Someone!" the guy started crying, and by now I could see him literally crying, so I started to cry as well, high on the alcoholic booze, and ran out of the house, crying.

"Wait, Maera!" Ah Ra shouted my name, and damn, she must be really angry to call me by my full name, because she does that only when she's about to blast.

I started running in full speed across the road. Initially, there were screams and shouts heard behind me, calling for my name, but five minutes into the run, after I had turned into alleyways in my drunken state, and I felt someone tap on my shoulder.

I karate chopped the person's hand, and judging from the deep, manly yelp that came right after, I knew it wasn't Ah Ra, but I was too drunk to know, because honey, YOLO.

"Who is it?" I asked, "Are you Harry Potter?"

"Um, yes," came the voice from the now-noticed hooded figure.

"Harreh Potta!" I did a British accent, and then laughed whole-heartedly, and then suddenly threw up on the so-called Harry Potter's shoes.

"Ew! Those were Gucci! What the actual fu-"

"Don't swear! Jesus won't take you to heaven, then!"

"But honey, I'm already going to hell," I felt the person smirk, considering the last whimper he made, and then everything turned darker than it already was in the dark of the night.

I really thought I lost my eyesight, though. 

(a/n: Junsoo is from The Sarcastic Tutor, one of my books, so check it out if you wanna know the reference lmaoo) 

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