tw: mention of su*cide
TEN YEARS LATER
HARRY THOUGHT THAT MAYBE, maybe she'd fall in love with him again, maybe she didn't need her memory to realize that she loved him, maybe it would just be a repetition of their fourth year when they both slowly fell in love with each other.
turned out... not really.
He cracked his knuckles like she once did when anxious as he watched her walk down the aisle, her white dress flowing gorgeously behind her.
She had moved on, he hadn't.
He thought it was stupid of him, really. He had known her for less than two years, why had he gotten so attached?
But the thing was...he never had someone by his side like she was, someone who loved him like she once did, and love... it's a hard thing to shake off, and Harry could confirm that.
He hadn't lost her completely, they were still friends, but much less than they ever were. And yet, somehow, she was close with everyone else from her past. Just not him.
He could only assume that she wanted to cut him out of her life so that she could focus on her own relationship and making new memories and experiences in peace, but he couldn't deny that it hurt like hell.
"Do you, Pheobe May Weasley, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do."
Memories were swirling through Harry's head...
the first time they met, on the Hogwarts train, and he bought her a chocolate frog...
when she woke up in the hospital wing after fighting Voldemort, and he knew that finally, finally, he had someone by his side who could relate to him...
when he realized he liked her and made it his mission to get her to forget all about the timeline and fall in love with him...
when she was put through so much pain that night in the graveyard but woke up and got through it...
when they had their first date, their first kiss, when they were officially dating, when they rebelled together, when they made it through each and every argument together...
"--and do you, Theodore Nott, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do."
"If anyone has an objection, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Harry had half a mind to speak up.
"Well then..." the wizened old man sighed with a smile on his face, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the-" the pastor chuckled softly as Theo leaned down without letting the man finish, wrapping his arms around the love of his life's waist and kissed her, in front of everyone they loved--
--or once loved.
Everyone had moved on since the fateful day that Pheobe had woken up and shattered Harry's life into a billion fragments.
but they had all regained friendship with her.
In sixth year, Hermione and Pheobe were close once again, having had all the same classes and bonding over books again, plus the fact that they were sisters. That type of relationship was hard to lose.
Ron and Pheobe had never completely lost the brother-sister bond so it wasn't quite hard to reignite it. Over the summer, since she was a Weasley as far as she remembered, Pheobe had lived at the Burrow, quickly getting the close bonds back with everyone in her family.
Pheobe and Harry had had an attempt at being friends, but it was awkward and embarrassing for the both of them, as Pheobe barely knew who he was, and Harry realized she hadn't changed at all, but at the same time had changed completely.
A few months into sixth year, Theo yelled 'FUCK YOU VOLDEMORT' at the sky and asked Pheobe out, and she had accepted gladly.
That was probably the exact moment in time when Harry realized their relationship could never be fixed.
Theo and Pheobe started officially dating on Christmas 1996, and they were completely in love with each other.
After Voldemort was defeated in the war, Pheobe got an offer to be the Seeker for Puddlemere United, and Theo was the supportive boyfriend (who was also an Auror-in-training) that showed up to every single game and bragged to everyone that his girlfriend was the best Quidditch player ever.
Draco and Blaise obviously came to each game too, having regained friendship with Pheobe after the war, and they would all cheer for Pheobe, but they never failed to tease her for being too slow or looking the other direction for half a second during the game.
Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione started dating shortly after the war was over, and Pheobe could not have been happier about her best friends finally dating. Sure, Harry was glad for them too, but he couldn't help but feel a little alone.
Luna and Ginny had been dating for the last three years, and they went on wild trips all over the world, never seen without the other but frequently coming home to visit their broken family.
George had been crushed by a wall in the war...and Fred?
He decided that it wasn't worth living without his other half, and took his own life. It left the Weasley clan broken to see both of their energetic sons gone, but gradually, over the years, they healed together.
Bill and Fleur had two sons and a daughter now; Victoire, and, in honor of the lost twins, George and Fred.
Almost everyone was happy now, though- even Draco Malfoy, who was dating Astoria Greengrass and working in the Ministry.
And Harry felt like the absolute loneliest person in the world.
when Pheobe and Theo broke apart, there was clapping and cheering and laughing and smiling because Harry was the only person who had ever not liked the two of them together.
Ron and Hermione had tried to convince Harry that she was happier with him, that it wasn't Harry's fault in any way, but he was stupidly in love with her despite everything.
Harry knew, that he should leave her alone, that he should let her be with the man she loved, get married, grow old together, have children, and live the life Harry never could have given her.
But it hurt to see her look at Theo the same way she used to look at Harry, bright and hopeful and beautiful.
She hadn't changed since that awful, awful day, not much... but she'd changed his whole life.
Pheobe forgot about writing and her "pipe dream" of being an author, and Harry found the worn leather book he had gifted her in a pile of trash in the Gryffindor common room one day, half of the book filled up with Phoebe's handwriting, all her memories and experiences written in there up until the day she left to the Ministry of Magic, the day everything changed.
And he published it, mainly because he thought it would help him get over her, but it didn't. It only made him more miserable that the girl he loved, the girl who wrote and read and climbed trees even though she had a tremendous fear of heights, and looked at him like he was the only thing worth looking at... was gone.
He had even written some notes in the beginning few chapters, his own little thoughts and notes, because it made him feel closer to her, as Christmas of their fifth year he had gifted her a Shakespeare book with his own notes and she hadn't let the book be out of reach for the rest of the time she had loved him. But eventually, he gave up, because the more he read, the more he fell in love with her all over again.
He tried to get over their broken relationship, but it was so impossible. They always say your first love never leaves you, but he didn't think it could be so true.
Pheobe Black was 25, a respected Quidditch player, married and in love, and surrounded by all of her friends and family on one of the happiest days of her life.
And Harry Potter was 25, a respected Auror, and surrounded by his friends, family, and acquaintances on a day that could have been one of his worst.
The bride and groom laughed and met all of their guests and friends as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley officially.
Harry traced his finger around the rim of his wine glass absently, wondering 'what if?'.
What if he had never gone to the Ministry that day, ten long and tiring years ago, and messed everything up so badly? What if he had been the one to get hexed instead of her, and he wouldn't have had to deal with all this pain?
...what if?
"Harry, mate," Ron came, slapping an arm onto his best friend's shoulder, "you alright there?"
"Yeah, Ron," Harry said, forcing some liveliness into his voice as he gazed at his ginger friend, "I'm great." he could tell Ron didn't believe it for one second, but thankfully neither man acknowledged the lie, and they were saved from an awkward silence when Hermione came drifting over, wearing a pink dress and a little flower tiara placed upon her brown locks, having been the maid of honor.
"Hi, boys," she sighed, looking at the two for a moment. "Harry...maybe you should talk to her. Get some closure for once-"
"I've told you, Hermione," Harry sighed, "I don't need closure. I'm fine."
"Okay... well, I've got to go, Pheobe and Theo are about to go and cut the cake- are you two coming?"
"Of course," Ron nodded, turning to Harry, "come on, let's go. You'd be surprised at how simple Pheobe wanted the cake to be."
"You've seen it?" Harry asked in mild surprise. The tips of Ron's ears went red, just like they used to when they were kids.
"Well...er, we were part of the, erm, decorating team," he said hesitantly. Harry nodded. Of course they would have been.
"Oh, that's cool," Harry nodded, trying to sound normal, "I think I'll step outside for a second."
"Okay," said Ron, looking tense, "you know, mate, if you ever want to talk-"
"I know, Ron. Thanks," and Harry was truthful, Ron had been by his side, knowing how it felt to be grieving over the loss of the Pheobe they knew, but the difference was, one of them was her older brother, and one of them was... just an ex. Harry sighed and stepped out of the building in which the wedding was being held, looking up at the sunset as he heard footsteps behind him.
"Harry?" said a soft voice.
"Hi, Pheobe," Harry said, forcing a smile and turning to look at the beautiful woman she had become.
She had short, wavy blonde and brown hair now, and a sparkle in her gray eyes that Harry wished could have been there because of him.
"Hi," she began hesitantly, "I'm so sorry, are you uncomfortable? Should I leave-?"
"No! No, no, it's your wedding, Pheobe, of course not," Harry said. He felt sorry for her, slightly, sorry for the both of them, that their relationship had turned so awkward. Pheobe tilted her head, studying him for a moment, and for half a second Harry had the insane idea she would suddenly remember everything and sprint to him.
"Okay, well..." Pheobe looked hesitant, fiddling with a lock of hair, "um...I wanted to ask if you're feeling okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be-?"
"Well, I don't know, it's just..." Pheobe sighed deeply before quickly blurting out, "you've been acting rather odd since Theo, you know, proposed."
"I've been acting odd for well over a year?" Harry smiled with a raised eyebrow. Phoebe's eyes widened.
"No! No, no, no, that came out really wrong, I mean, you've been acting kind of strange since Theo and I started dating." Pheobe paused for a second, realizing it had only gotten worse. "fuck, that was nine years ago- um, anyways, I only wanted to say, er, thanks for coming, I wasn't sure if you'd...show up. I hope you're enjoying it. And, I, um, I know that eleven or something years ago, I'm not sure-"
"Ten," Harry said, understanding promptly what she was referring to. Her cheeks turned pink.
"I'm so so sorry, is it still a touchy subject for you?! I'm so sorry, oh my gosh, I'm going to go, I'm such an idiot I really don't know what the fuck is wrong with me- er- sorry again- feel free to have some cake inside!" and, before Harry could say anything else, she rushed inside, looking embarrassed.
For a moment, Harry was under the idiotic impression that maybe it was because she was embarrassed to admit she had fallen in love with him at her own wedding. After a second, he peered inside and saw Pheobe laugh and smear cake on her husband's cheek before she leaned up and kissed him, and Harry realized that he was stupid to even let himself get his hopes up.
And Harry sat down on the grass, probably wrinkling his suit but not caring, wishing that he wasn't out there by himself at her wedding, wishing that he hadn't fallen so deeply in love with her, even though to her, he was just, well..
another love.
.✫ * ﾟ ･ ﾟ ｡. ★. *｡ ･ ﾟ ✫ *.
brb gonna go cry real quick bc its over
as a harry fan this chapter hurt me hard (even though I'M THE ONE WHO WROTE IT???? HOW DARE I????)
ugh im going to miss this book + the funniest commenters who have made me laugh so hard i cried + ALL OF YOU GUYS WHO HAVE EVEN BOTHERED TO READ THIS LIKE??? BRO U CHOSE MY BOOK OUT OF LIKE 2 MILLION OUT THERE WHAT THANK U ?!?!?!
RESPECTFULLY, IM A LITTLE BIT IN LOVE WITH U
im SO not done writing, and idk if the next book i write's gonna be as emotionally draining as this one 😭
I LITERALLY CANNOT TELL YALL HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO FINALLY HIT COMPLETE AFTER PUBLISHING THIS BOOK, DELETING IT, REWRITING, REPUBLISHING, AND RE-READING IT ABOUT A 10000 TIMES
thank you SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH for the memories <3
xx