You're doing so well without me
(Yn)
"I'll head in, okay?" I told Yui through a phone call.
"Okay, be safe. I'll get there soon," she replied and hung up.
I dusted off my denim jeans and off-shoulder gray croptop out of nervousness. I don't even have a lot of dirt on my clothes but I just felt like dusting them off.
I don't know much about volleyball and Suga doesn't tell me much either but I know that this is a very important game especially because they're playing against Shiratorizawa.
Should I call my cousin?
She doesn't know that I'm going to the games today. I haven't told anybody besides my mom and Michimiya. Not even Koushi since he's kinda against me watching their games but I'm a bit of a rebel. This can also be considered a surprise, I guess. I fished out my phone and called Ya-chan to tell her that I'm outside the gym.
"Eh, she's not answering," I mumbled to myself. I thought about calling Koushi instead but I figured that he's already warming up so he wouldn't be able to answer my call as well.
Nevermind, I'll just go in.
I felt chills rise up my spine when I saw the banner at the top of the gym. There were sound of balls hitting the floor and the crowd cheering for their team of choice. I felt like a lost being stumbling upon a very much-awaited event!
Japanese National Highschool Volleyball Tournament
"Woah, I'm already so excited!" I talked to myself again as I sat somewhere that includes people from Karasuno. I didn't even get to wander a lot since it's really my first time going to these kinds of games and I'm so in awe!
"It's gonna be hard for them since Ushijima-san is there!" I heard one of the girls from our school mutter to another girl.
"It's going to be hard but they'll breakthrough. They've practiced really hard for this," I butted in, not wanting them to lose their spirits. I haven't been able to watch Koushi during training but the time we spent away from each other is enough for me to know that he really did his best to focus. I trust that guy so much and I know he'll succeed in everything.
_____
"No way! Ugh! Karasuno, you can do thiiis!" I screamed with tears on my eyes.
Kageyama just got blocked by a red-haired guy from Shiratorizawa and I feel like no one expected that to happen. It was like magic but there's got to be some other way to counter the opponent!
"I'm so late!" Yui exclaimed while panting beside me.
"No, the game's just getting started!" I quickly replied to her because that's how I felt even if the teams have played for a long time already. It doesn't matter since it's just the first quarter. Yui's not that late to not be able to witness anything.
My eyes travelled to Koushi who was watching from outside the playing area. I smiled tenderly when I saw how focused and into it he still looked even if he wasn't playing. I'm still proud of him no matter what.
"They should let Kou play! Let my baby play!" I shouted but I think no one heard me since many people were cheering for Shiratorizawa while I was screaming my lungs out.
"Trust the process, (yn). He'll be playing in no time," Yui reassured.
"My eyesight's so bad. I can't focus on him too much but tell me if he's playing, okay?" I excitedly shook her body before focusing back on what's happening below.
I screamed again when Tsukishima kept on blocking the redhead from the enemy team in the second set. I feel guilty for not watching Koushi all the time but I promise I'm really waiting for him to play so I can finally cheer for him and hopefully make my presence known.
"Shit, shit, shit! What the fuck?! That's my baby! That's my baby serving right now!" I panicked when he finally got the chance to play. I don't even curse too much but the adrenaline is so overwhelming that I need to talk so I won't explode and pass out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Yn), your boyfriend's doing greaaaat!" Yui screamed when Koushi set the ball successfully to Kageyama.
"He's not my boyfriend but yeaaaaaaah!" I laughed while cheering.
"Eep!"
My eyes suddenly went to scan the crowd near me in hopes of finding where the familiar screech came from and my eyes almost popped out from their sockets when I saw Yachi giggling when it was Yamaguchi's turn to serve. I pursed my lips in realization and nodded to myself. I'm going to tease her about that later.
I suddenly went berserk when it was Daichi's turn to serve. I widened my eyes at Yui while fervently slapping her arms.
"Your hubby!" I teased.
"Shh! Someone might hear!" she tried to surpress a smile but the blush on her cheeks gave it all away.
I couldn't keep record of the things that were happening but I got so speechless when Tsukishima blocked Ushijima's spike. A lot of people were silent for a while until we all went wild at the realization that we finally stopped our opponent we consider formidable!
If only I knew how fun watching volleyball could be, I would've ignored Koushi and Yachi's orders and just watched whenever I wanted to. I mean, they're so amazing! Karasuno's amazing!
"They're doing so great! They scored two points in a row! What a nerve-wracking scene!" I heard someone say and I couldn't help but jump in place due to the happiness flowing through my whole system.
"Go, Kou--"
"SHIRATORIZAWA!"
"Go, Sugawa--"
"SHIRATORIZAWA!"
I rolled my eyes and watched as Koushi clasped both of his hands together as they prepared for the last set. He looked so nervous and I badly wanted to come down and comfort him but I might get kicked out. I also want to get his attention while I'm up here but the other team's cheers are so annoying! They always end up overpowering my voice!
"You're amazing. You're the best. I hope you know that," I whispered while looking down at him with a gentle smile.
"Final set, (yn)," Yui whispered nervously.
"Yeah... final--"
My heart and mind seemed to stop working when I saw a girl who seemed to be their manager envelope Koushi's hands with her own. I was about to ignore it when Koushi suddenly freaked out and seemed to have a conversation with her. It wasn't a normal conversation... I think.
Sugawara looked at her with such passion and admiration.
Yui laughed as he watched Asahi and Daichi approach Suga with frowns on their faced. I would've laughed if not for the scene I have witnessed before this. I couldn't process what was happening anymore but it looked like Sugawara wasn't letting the others touch his hands anymore after their manager held it.
"Wow. Okay," I bitterly spat.
That's why he didn't want me to go to their games and practices?
I definitely noticed the moment I watched him a few sets earlier that he's different when he's around the team. He smiles more, he's more open, he's caring and everything he's not when I'm with him. I didn't have a problem with that since I thought he's obviously closer to his teammates but really? Acting like that with their manager?
"Wow, he's so tough," I mumbled sarcastically as indifferent thoughts occupied my mind.
"Isn't that what you like about him? His toughness?" Yui joked but I wasn't in the mood. I only smiled at her and shook my head, knowing we're not in the same page at the moment.
I watched the last set absentmindedly and almost let out unintentional sobs as I watched Suga spike effortlesly. I really wanted to cheer him on but I didn't feel the need to. He's already motivated by just being with their manager anyway.
"I'll go down and check on Tsukishima," I told Yui as an excuse to leave the place where my vulnerability could easily be seen.
"Huh? O-okay. Be quick or you might miss the important events," she replied.
Oh, I certainly didn't miss any important events today.
I don't even know if I'd be able to get to where Tsukishima was since I'm not familiar with the place and the policies. In addition to that, their manager is with him so I'm definitely not going near them. I just hope he's okay. He seems to really love playing on court.
While I was on my way out, I felt someone grab my hands from the seats near the exits.
"Tooru?" I was surprised when I saw him here knowing that he incredibly hates both teams that are playing today.
"You didn't watch me but you came to watch him?" he teased.
"Yeah, I'm regretting it. Can I talk to you later? I have to--"
"Are you okay?" he cuts me off, gently pulling me to a secluded area away from the eyes of people. That's when I almost lost it.
"No," I shakily answered with a sob while he ran his fingers through my hair.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked again.
"Not yet. Y-you should go back and watch. I'll go out for some fresh air. I'll be fine."
That's exactly what I did. He was hesitant to go back but I gave him a smile and quickly walk away without looking back. I didn't want to look back now that my tears are uncontrollably falling down on my cheeks. I'd just make him worry. I spent a lot of minutes inside a comfort room while letting all the anger and feelings of betrayal out. I only went out when I felt a bit calmer and more aware.
"(Yn)."
I hesitantly turned my head to where Koushi was. He looked so surprised when he saw me. I'd be surprised if I was in his shoes, too.
"I was late. I'm sorry I didn't get to watch you play," I sadly told him before my feet walked away on their own making him run and try to catch up. He definitely knows that I'm lying. He guided me to a bench and gave me water. I refused to look at him as I declined his offer.
"You need it more. You did great. I'm proud of you," I tried not to cry while I wiped his sweat with my own handkerchief.
"We won," he answered calmly.
"I know. You look happy. Happier with them than when you're with me," I mumbled. I tensed up when he grabbed me on my wrists, making me look into his eyes and break down once again but this time, my eyes did all the talking instead.
"Were you there the whole time?" he asked, eyes widening and hands shaking while he did so.
"The whole time, Koushi. I saw everything."